This Cookiemonster is About to Get It Big Time.

Hey y'all.
I'm finally trying to change my life around and yes, there seems to be hope for me. Until I hit a roadblock.

Short story: I'm in college, and in one of my lab sessions, we work in a team of three. One boy and one girl - the boy is quiet, and we get along fine, but the girl is straight up obnoxious like she's still in suburban high school.

- Doesn't care about anything or the class.
- Has her own little clique at the table, which excludes me, of course.
- Complains about anything that goes wrong.
- Makes a big DEAL of things when she doesn't understand anything but treats people
(read: me) as if they don't understand anything.
- Always trying to one-up me, or do the lab on her own or with the other guy (who is her
partner in another lab). Usually leaves me hanging.
- Any time I go ahead with a lab procedure, she's always questioning (read: challenging)
me, and as soon as our other partner says something, she immediately agrees.
- Sometimes I make mistakes, but when they happen I try to own up to them, but she just treats
me as if she KNEW I was going to make a mistake, which she always tries to convey to the
other guy (and I think he's changing his opinion of me too). Which is why most of the time I
just sit in silence, and I'm really apprehensive about doing anything, and usually lowers my
self-confidence, which leads to said mistakes. It's a NEVERENDING LOOP.
And anytime she messes up, she just gives a slight "oh" and moves on, like it was no big
deal or it didn't matter. FRUSTRATING.

I'm quiet and nerdy-looking - I feel like she's ignoring/patronizing me because she thinks I look weak and most of the time I'm laid-back and passive. I'm not looking for a fight, the opposite really (I tried to befriend her and she was disgusted at the very least), which hurts because I care about getting along with her. And I usually get along with everyone from my end. I've tried to detach a little, but it's hard. Any advice? She's lucky I have a Libran Mars and I know this thing will escalate quickly, because that's the only thing, keeping me from calling her out.

She can only do what you allow her to. Why give her that much power over you...even how you think? Those two dont determine your fate...you do! Shes a child and apparently hes a pussy. Take control of that situation and if it creates.a conflict,embrace it.

I'm not much less of a child though. Because we work together for a class that I consider important, I don't want to jeopardize anything. I'm trying to examine this from my own end, and I've considered that I might be another toxic person of my own making, a clinger or maybe a rejection-hater. Idk, it's hard for me when I dislike someone because negative emotions like that drag me down, but since I work closely with her, it's hard to separate myself from her.

But thanks for the input. I'll definitely consider it, since I'm halfway on that road anyway.

There are others in the class right? Why don't you move and try and befriend the others and work with them instead? I reallly cannot stand when unknowns give off bad energy toward me for whatever unknown reasons, so i don't even give them the time of day. I ignore these sorts and i've noticed they always seem to do a 360 on me once they've had the silent treatment from me and then try and befriend me! But at this point it's always too late as first impressions are everything to me. They shoud have been cool from the start. I would never be interested in a friendship with someone who has made assumptions or prejudged me based on whatever they thought i was.

Hi, Leonyne 🙂

How much longer do you have to endure this class, approximately?

Posted by Montgomery
Hi, Leonyne 🙂

How much longer do you have to endure this class, approximately?

Sorry for the late reply! I'm already half-way through the semester, so maybe four or five more weeks. I figure, since it's only a day a week, I would tough it out as long as I can. And maybe just vent with a friend after each session.

There is no way to change partners, so I might as well attempt some damage control here.

I feel ya. Dealt with the same bitches during undergrad.

Group projects suck.

Posted by Leonyne

Posted by Montgomery
Hi, Leonyne 🙂

How much longer do you have to endure this class, approximately?

Sorry for the late reply! I'm already half-way through the semester, so maybe four or five more weeks. I figure, since it's only a day a week, I would tough it out as long as I can. And maybe just vent with a friend after each session.

There is no way to change partners, so I might as well attempt some damage control here.

click to expand

s'okay

And yeah, I agree-- damage control for this one.


However, I wouldn't hesitate to talk to the professor if you think it might affect your grade--

I had to do it just last year during a project/group presentation-- his/her opinion is the only one that matters, here.


Come back and tell us how it all goes for you. 🙂

Posted by munchkin
I feel ya. Dealt with the same bitches during undergrad.

Group projects suck.

Once in a blue moon you get a good group and life is amazing; but other than that, yes-- they really do.