Why was Leo so Aggressive and will he return ?

This topic was created in the Leo forum by SoftWater on Thursday, April 11, 2013 and has 26 replies.
Here's the story and the question? (I'm new to this site, can anyone call out to Tiki33 - she's like my Oprah)
Leo male and I have been very close for 3 years, have seen each other through the most trying times of all, family crisis', deaths, suicide attempts, marriages, birth, divorces you name it but we have remained loyal to each other (it's his family that aren't stable).
It's not a friendship acceptable by society so we keep it on the low but I have to state very clearly here I have never had any sexual relations with this guy while he has been with his partner. We also do not discuss his personal life between him and his wife (I read that somewhere to avoid an emotional affair). I need you ladies to know how important loyalty is to me so I emphasize that there has been no infidelity. However, he did kiss me three times when he broke up with his wife (and it was confirmed by our mutual friends they were seperated).
I met him after my divorce and he was always aware of my close friendship with the father of my children. However Leo Male has started showing jealousy whenever my ex and I would muck around. One day he admitted it to me and said he would never confess to it again so I thought it was the respectful thing to do by stop joking around with my ex husband if leo man was around.
2 months ago Leo Male was having major financial difficulties with his business and he became really cold towards me. To cheer him up, I went out of my way of lift his spirits but he was cruel and abrupt. At the same time, I had a fall out with his friends girlfriend, I assured him that I would repair the damage to avoid any awkwardness (only for his sake) but he started yelling at me and started threatening me that he would harm my ex husband if any issues resulted from this fall out (which was unlikely).
I stopped talking to him for a month & that seems to have upset him more rather than calmed him down. Since then we have text each other (he said I was a champion so he can't be that upset with me), I then called him a week after that (he said he had to detach himself from me and it sounded like he was very emotional) and then I wrote him an email expressing why I didn't talk to him for those 4 weeks (he was threatening to harm my friends) but his only response was I'm supposed to know why he was so aggressive but I really have no clue.
I have only had two men in my life, my ex and him. My loyalty is making me stick around and I miss him.
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Can I just add that the girl I had the fall out with cried all over my leo male friend and made her story appear of someone suffering death rather than a 24 hour disagreement. She has over-dramatised the issue that even though I have done everything in my power to make amends (even at the risk of my own pride) she is still playing the victim (6 weeks on) - it really was a small issue. Her boyfriend has remained polite and courteous to me though. I'm a Cancer but I think my Aries Rising makes me seem tougher than I really am.
Maybe Leo males heart strings were pulled and I'm an embarrassingly terrible manipulator that I couldn't even pull of fake tears if I tried. Is that why he was so mean to me, because she made me out to be a monster (surely he knows me better after everything I have done for him, his family and many other lost people/animals I have taken in)?
Or is this jealously? My ex never had a drop of it so that was also very knew to me.
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Posted by Jynja
Posted by SoftWater
Here's the story and the question? (I'm new to this site, can anyone call out to Tiki33 - she's like my Oprah)


She's on the Aquarius board.
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Thanks Jynja, I tried sending her a message but I'm unsure if it worked. Have you got any idea how this Male Leo is seeing things?
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Just first- No judgment here. There was infidelity. May not have been physical but emotional. That being said. Him threatening to harm your ex-husband over a fall out or to threaten period. Why do you want to be friends with this person or a relationship. I know there is history, but that is not acceptable.
Yes we are known for our extreme moods, but to threaten someone. Not acceptable.
I don't know about others. I can quickly detach myself from someone if you fall from grace. It depends on what it is and how value what you have you have disrespected. Doesn't mean always I stop caring for that person, I just detach and go cold. Like last year, my BFF (she was closer to me then my own family and I loved her like a sister) had a fall out. Mostly over her inability to communicate and plan correctly and make assumptions I should know when she needs me. She said some very mean things to me, then brought one of my daughters into it in a mean undertone. I cut her and went cold. You don't speak mean to people you love and you especially do not attack (verbally) and innocent child. I miss her to death especially what I have been going through. She was one person I trusted my with vulnerabilities. But I can never trust her again with my inner self as she has used it against me. Don't know if that helps. But my gut, just walk away, his out riht rage and wanting to hurt someone in revenge. No thank you, you don't need that in your life.
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Posted by TheLioness79
Just first- No judgment here. There was infidelity. May not have been physical but emotional. That being said. Him threatening to harm your ex-husband over a fall out or to threaten period. Why do you want to be friends with this person or a relationship. I know there is history, but that is not acceptable.
Yes we are known for our extreme moods, but to threaten someone. Not acceptable.
I don't know about others. I can quickly detach myself from someone if you fall from grace. It depends on what it is and how value what you have you have disrespected. Doesn't mean always I stop caring for that person, I just detach and go cold. Like last year, my BFF (she was closer to me then my own family and I loved her like a sister) had a fall out. Mostly over her inability to communicate and plan correctly and make assumptions I should know when she needs me. She said some very mean things to me, then brought one of my daughters into it in a mean undertone. I cut her and went cold. You don't speak mean to people you love and you especially do not attack (verbally) and innocent child. I miss her to death especially what I have been going through. She was one person I trusted my with vulnerabilities. But I can never trust her again with my inner self as she has used it against me. Don't know if that helps. But my gut, just walk away, his out riht rage and wanting to hurt someone in revenge. No thank you, you don't need that in your life.


Thanks so much. Everyone I have spoken to says that his threats weren't real and it was just a Leo's jealousy talking. I guess if it's just the heat of the moment and not real I can handle that but he wont even talk to me to tell me why. I guess I just need closure.
Your story about your BFF really hurt. I'm very forgiving particularly someone as close as you two were so while you are so kind to give me advice (thank you so much), I'm suggesting something to you, while she was wrong particularly with the part about your daughter (I've like a lionness when it comes to children or animals or old people) have you considered that sometimes we make mistakes and you could have that support back in your life? I know you Leo's have a hard time not with forgiveness but with making that first move...do you really want her out of your life FOREVER over issues you can resolve through communication (was it really t
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He is off his rocker, unstable, dark-side Leo turned Sith Lord. Jealousy is bad jojo for Leo run, hit abandon ship alarm!
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Posted by MountainLeo
He is off his rocker, unstable, dark-side Leo turned Sith Lord. Jealousy is bad jojo for Leo run, hit abandon ship alarm!


Thanks MountainLeo. It's so odd how his lack of response has been eating at me. I thought I meant more to him. I couldn't get closure no matter how hard I tried (and lessen the burden to his ego by putting nice things into the letter I wrote him) but I think I may almost be there.
I think you beautiful Leo's are giving me strength. I wish it was so easy to abandon ship though. With everything our families have been through together, I expected some respect in closure.
Does a Leo's ego stop them from apologizing or explaining where they were coming from?
I really appreciate these responses. I feel like I can breathe again knowing it's not just me and his behaviour is not that of a good Leo man.
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When Leo is kind hearted good natured well balanced they are a powerful force of good, but with jealousy, possessiveness, ego out of whack, things can go very bad spiritually. We are all heart, our signs organ, when it goes dark ... Watch out, very bad stuff
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Posted by MountainLeo
When Leo is kind hearted good natured well balanced they are a powerful force of good, but with jealousy, possessiveness, ego out of whack, things can go very bad spiritually. We are all heart, our signs organ, when it goes dark ... Watch out, very bad stuff


I'm staying away...thanks for the warning. It's a shame because he was all heart. He was even good friends with my ex
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Posted by meekimoo
And also quite vindictive if we think someone demoralizes our pride, especially if they involve other people.


Is what you mean by demoralizing a leo's pride because of the time I spent with my ex husband? You see my ex was in the picture when Leo male turned up (decades actually and we live in the same block to make it easier on our children) but once leo male told me he was bothered by the ex and I's banter, I stopped it immmediately and he even pointed it out and was grateful for it. I think it's strange that I had to put aside my friendship with my ex for a friend but I did it because I could see that leo males pride being affected. Was there anything else I could do to stop that vindictive streak come out?
I blame myself a lot but nobody seems to agree with me except you. How did I demoralize his pride?
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Posted by MountainLeo
When Leo is kind hearted good natured well balanced they are a powerful force of good, but with jealousy, possessiveness, ego out of whack, things can go very bad spiritually. We are all heart, our signs organ, when it goes dark ... Watch out, very bad stuff



Sorry about all the questions, but do you think that a Leo with a Mars in Scorpio has something to do with his darkness?
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Seems everyone covered all sides of your situation quite well Softwater.
I do have a question? What month was he born? Is he a July Leo or August Leo or an August/September leo on the cusp of Virgo.
Leos can be quite territorial over the people they love and care about.
Emotional affairs are intense, addictive and very hard to cut ties from. You're still having an affair albeit emotional. Not judging you, just pointing that out.
You're deeply in love and it's messy and filled with unrequited feelings of affection, I'm not sure I'm able to tackle this tonight though.
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Posted by tiki33
Seems everyone covered all sides of your situation quite well Softwater.
I do have a question? What month was he born? Is he a July Leo or August Leo or an August/September leo on the cusp of Virgo.
Leos can be quite territorial over the people they love and care about.
Emotional affairs are intense, addictive and very hard to cut ties from. You're still having an affair albeit emotional. Not judging you, just pointing that out.
You're deeply in love and it's messy and filled with unrequited feelings of affection, I'm not sure I'm able to tackle this tonight though.


I've been reading your posts forever, never thought I'd need to ask for your help. Thanks for responding to my call for help. He was born on the 14 August. He has confessed to being in love with me but after he confessed this he wouldn't speak to me for 2 weeks following. He asked me why he felt so vulnerable after saying those words and I couldn't answer because until now I never thought I knew what in-love was (are you certain I'm deeply in love?). I do feel a very strong attachment to him. I have to accept I had an emotional affair with him...thank you for not judging me because right now I am and I'm highly critical of myself.
I look forward to hearing more of your thoughts and any advice.
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Posted by SoftWater


Thanks so much. Everyone I have spoken to says that his threats weren't real and it was just a Leo's jealousy talking. I guess if it's just the heat of the moment and not real I can handle that but he wont even talk to me to tell me why. I guess I just need closure.
Your story about your BFF really hurt. I'm very forgiving particularly someone as close as you two were so while you are so kind to give me advice (thank you so much), I'm suggesting something to you, while she was wrong particularly with the part about your daughter (I've like a lionness when it comes to children or animals or old people) have you considered that sometimes we make mistakes and you could have that support back in your life? I know you Leo's have a hard time not with forgiveness but with making that first move...do you really want her out of your life FOREVER over issues you can resolve through communication (was it really t


You are welcome. Here is the worry, the threat is one step from action. If he has made a there is a strong possibility of action. In the heat of the moment a threat will become real because you are held by your emotion at this time and can react. The jealousy and heat of the moment are excuses for unacceptable behavior. I used to work for a Domestic Violence Organization. Extreme jealously and threats or any kind but especially of bodily harm is very dangerous. Stay away. You deserve better.
I agree with what you have said about my es BFF. I have put the Olive Branch out through a text and after speakingg with a mutual friend she wanted to "talk", so I called, left a message and not word. The ball is in her court. Thank you.
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Posted by TheLioness79
Posted by SoftWater


You are welcome. Here is the worry, the threat is one step from action. If he has made a there is a strong possibility of action. In the heat of the moment a threat will become real because you are held by your emotion at this time and can react. The jealousy and heat of the moment are excuses for unacceptable behavior. I used to work for a Domestic Violence Organization. Extreme jealously and threats or any kind but especially of bodily harm is very dangerous. Stay away. You deserve better.
I agree with what you have said about my es BFF. I have put the Olive Branch out through a text and after speakingg with a mutual friend she wanted to "talk", so I called, left a message and not word. The ball is in her court. Thank you.



I am glad you have left that message...at least you know you tried. I know how much my best friend is helping me now with my sadness over this lost leo-male friendship...if she doesn't respond and you need an ear, I'm a message away.
The situation wont progress into violence because I fixed the issue with the friend of his 6 weeks ago. He refuses to talk to me to tell me what happened. I don't know why I need closure so much. I'm afraid Tiki33 may be right, it's not just history but I may have felt more for him than I care to admit.
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Okay so I had another chance to read your situation and something stood out for me that I didn't see last night.
You said "(it's his family that aren't stable)."
I do know several Leo's both born in August that are unstable as all hell.
He's unstable if he's threatening to harm your ex-husband or threaten someone period. Threatening is a sign of being an unstable person. If he can threaten an ex, surely some day he'll be threatening you.
Why are you so loyal to a married man? I'm not understanding that at all. I think friend isn't the correct term, he's your emotional mental lover. It is what it is. He may not be in your vagina but he's in your head and your heart, who needs the vagina when he has complete control over your mind and emotions, complete control over your life. He must be feeling like a real player, wife and his emotional wife, that's out of control on all level lol.
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Posted by tiki33
Okay so I had another chance to read your situation and something stood out for me that I didn't see last night.
You said "(it's his family that aren't stable)."
I do know several Leo's both born in August that are unstable as all hell.
He's unstable if he's threatening to harm your ex-husband or threaten someone period. Threatening is a sign of being an unstable person. If he can threaten an ex, surely some day he'll be threatening you.
Why are you so loyal to a married man? I'm not understanding that at all. I think friend isn't the correct term, he's your emotional mental lover. It is what it is. He may not be in your vagina but he's in your head and your heart, who needs the vagina when he has complete control over your mind and emotions, complete control over your life. He must be feeling like a real player, wife and his emotional wife, that's out of control on all level lol.


He has had a bad life and he trusted me by sharing a lot of it and I've seen him change - I think I have Florence Nightingale Syndrome where I want to save people (and animals)...I have a need to get involved in anything that helps others (I volunteer for 9 organizations and I work full time and have children - that may give you insight to why I do what I do). I have seen him become a better man since meeting me and my family. I thought maybe the threat was that of a person in love (his own words) and that it was just something said out of anger but not something he would act upon but after reading all these comments, I should not be so forgiving. A threat is something I should take seriously. I wish I knew why I was so loyal and why I care. It is really out of control because I've spent the day crying about someone who never gave me anything except the ability to help him. Oh dear, I think I might need more help than him.
Tiki33, if he contacts me again, what should I say to him?
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Thank you Soft Water.
So this situation did not end in violence, doesn't mean next issue wont. I know we like to seek closure to relationship, especially those we have developed strong relationship bond, but sometime we just can't and have to move and learn from our relationship.
I agree with what TIKI has stated. And as she mentioned and I mentioned, there may have not been a physical affair/infidelity, there is an emotional one.
You last post, you want to rescue and save him. Don't be a rescuer! You can not rescue people emotionally. You can guide and be there, but a person won't change unless they choose. There you set yourself up to be hurt and feel like a failure. You can't save him, and you will suffer in the end. In the Social Services community, we deem either you are a rescuer or a caregiver. I used to be a rescuer and was so bad for my mental and physical life. I learned how to be a caregiver. I worked with Teen Girls and taught a Course at a local domestic Violence organization for 6 years. When I started a new class one of the things I would tell the girls. I don't have degree on the wall for psychology. I can not fix you. Even if I did, I still couldn't fix you. Only you can fix yourself. What will do is give you tools. We all have tool boxes and we gather tools through our lives. Hopefully I can give you a couple of tools to put into box and it may not be today or tomorrow, but one day you will open it and utilize the tools you have been given in your life.
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Coming from a Leonian male Sun, Rising, with Sagittarius in Mars (probably at least as psychotic as Scorpio in Mars) if he is making threats they are to be taken very seriously. In this state there is the thinnest vernier of sanity between what you see as composure and a psychotic swath of destruction.
If he calls you tell him that you care about him, but threats cross the line, you can be friends, but the other stuff will end.
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"Tiki33, if he contacts me again, what should I say to him?"
Very hard question and I don't think you're willing to be and look like a jerk. I have to ponder over this question and come back to it.
This pattern you have with him is not healthy but I wish you the best and of course if I can add more insight I will.
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Posted by tiki33
"Tiki33, if he contacts me again, what should I say to him?"
Very hard question and I don't think you're willing to be and look like a jerk. I have to ponder over this question and come back to it.
This pattern you have with him is not healthy but I wish you the best and of course if I can add more insight I will.


What about just ignore him?
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This guy is a Leo Sun with Scorpio in Mars. He doesn't make threats he isn't prepared to back up. He will probably bash faces in and eat it for lunch. I can't imagine a worse or more brutal combo.
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Posted by MountainLeo
This guy is a Leo Sun with Scorpio in Mars. He doesn't make threats he isn't prepared to back up. He will probably bash faces in and eat it for lunch. I can't imagine a worse or more brutal combo.


+1 then some
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Posted by TheLioness79
Posted by tiki33
"Tiki33, if he contacts me again, what should I say to him?"
Very hard question and I don't think you're willing to be and look like a jerk. I have to ponder over this question and come back to it.
This pattern you have with him is not healthy but I wish you the best and of course if I can add more insight I will.


What about just ignore him?
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+1
I doubt she will do that, least not right now, too invested.
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Posted by tiki33
Posted by TheLioness79
Posted by tiki33
"Tiki33, if he contacts me again, what should I say to him?"
Very hard question and I don't think you're willing to be and look like a jerk. I have to ponder over this question and come back to it.
This pattern you have with him is not healthy but I wish you the best and of course if I can add more insight I will.


What about just ignore him?


+1
I doubt she will do that, least not right now, too invested.
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Which is scary for her. No matter how vested....your safety comes first.
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You guys care so much about me and I'm just a stranger on the other side of the pond. I can't express how grateful I am that you took the time to respond.
MountainLeo, if a Leo Sun with Mars in Scorpio is as you described then I need to take your messages as my warning. I'd be a stupid woman to continue any further "emotional affair" with this guy (you are right, prior to meeting me, he would fight strangers for the fun of it so it's in him to be as you described).
Once you all raised the emotional affair part, I literally felt sick, it has really hit home! Had he not kissed me and expressed being in-love with me (when he separated from his wife) would it still have been an emotional affair?
My lovely Leo's and the illustrious Aquarius who knows Leo's so well, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. I will do as you suggested. I'm not someone who asks for help and then ignores it. I came here because I was desperate and I needed your guidance and got it. I wont disrespect that or myself by remaining in that relationship even if he tries again (and I heard leo men always do return but then again my relationship with my ex husband may have killed leo male's ego).
I'm extremely nervous on what to say to him IF he does return with more words of affection, how to let him go without causing more issues. I thought about the suggestion of ignoring him (as suggested by Lionness79) but if I hang up on him, I'm sure he will retaliate (he has this revengeful side to him when people have upset him in the past). I haven't been here before...this is all new to me so ANY guidance is welcome. Do I have to express warmth to him to avoid an angry Leo?
I wont let my love for people and my oxytoxin get in the way this time. What I do know is there will be no bonding, I will avoid that Leo stare and I wont let him get close and show his warmth towards me. I'm invested Tiki33, but I'm a clever girl - I may be emotional, lonely, wanting to help a lost soul, craving romance and affection but I'm aware now (plus the time away from him as helped put it all into perspective).
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