whyyyyyyyy? ugh!

This topic was created in the Leo forum by msX on Thursday, July 4, 2013 and has 13 replies.
why does he ALWAYS talk about his family, especially his mother and mostly his father, and about how things will be when i meet them, yet, it's been 7months and i still haven't met them? i mean, this man is selling supreme wolf tickets and i would think he was bs-ing if he wasn't communicating with me multiple times a day. but, he hasn't told me he loves me, and i know he does, and he hasn't introduced me to any family, just friends.
so frustrating, this leo man. argh!
are you guys just slow like that?
No. We tend to move very fast (too fast for most) when we like someone! Unless there is some kind of scheduling issue, I'm thinking wolf tickets...
Tell him...I want to meet your family. When do you think that will happen? If he gives you a direct answer and it happens, then he's probably for real...
thanks...i will.
What's a wolf ticket?
promises that cannot be fulfilled, basically.
anyway, i told him.
and timing is the verdict.
plus, we are dealing with sensitive matters here.
i failed to mention that we are both actively in the middle of divorces and because he is always with his boys when not with me or working, meeting the folks would mean me meeting his boys and i am not ready for that because he cannot meet my daughters yet. ex-spouses have a way of using that against you.
well, the great thing is i put it out there so this will put some fire under his feet to make his situation as crisp as mine so, when the time comes, there will be no worries.
he can't meet my folks, btw. at least, not now...my entire family lives in another state.
Posted by msX
promises that cannot be fulfilled, basically.
anyway, i told him.
and timing is the verdict.
plus, we are dealing with sensitive matters here.
i failed to mention that we are both actively in the middle of divorces and because he is always with his boys when not with me or working, meeting the folks would mean me meeting his boys and i am not ready for that because he cannot meet my daughters yet. ex-spouses have a way of using that against you.
well, the great thing is i put it out there so this will put some fire under his feet to make his situation as crisp as mine so, when the time comes, there will be no worries.
he can't meet my folks, btw. at least, not now...my entire family lives in another state.


So there seem to be some very reasonable "timing" issues here...but at least now he knows you want to meet his family, and if he's really into you -which now it's sounds like he is...you just made him very happy _??_ And with kids involved, Leo males tend to very VERY protective of them, so he will likely make his moves more carefully with them in mind. _??
MsX,
I think we have established similarities. After reading the further back story with the divorce, I am also in the middle of that. Just waiting for him to sign the damn papers or put me through 5 months of another process. But, there is no "legal separation" here. You are married or you are not. So until the divorce decree is final you are viewed as married and adultery can be brought up which is one of the select only reason the other spouse can get spousal support as well if it can be proven in court. So honestly, I really don't blame him to proceed cautiously.
To build onto what SML said, Leos in general are very protective people over their loved ones. Especially their children. Leo men too, not just women. I have not worked that all out yet for myself, but the way I see it "right now", no one will be meeting my kids, PERIOD. They are the one thing I do not play about. Their best interest and safety is my number one concern.
Be patient until his divorce is over. If you can establish meeting parents without kids, may be best. Let him set the pace on meeting the kids.
Meeting parents without kids is wiser.
However, even just meeting the parents, may start up a conversation in the family spreading to wife-to-be-ex. Not a good strategy. Best to wait out.
xvll27, In America, I think the laws can vary state by state for divorce. I think the main purpose for the wait time is to be sure the marriage is truly irreconcilable. In my state you have one length of time without kids and a longer length of time to wait with kids. This is not my first time going through this process in this state, the first separation..I knew it would work out but had my papers drawn and ready just in case. Sure enough, it was 7 months, and still in the wait period but it worked out. Twelve years later, I know it is over. My issue is to get him to sign while he is over seas or make me take a harder route. This could have ended by now if he would have signed and sent them back when he got them.
Might be that there is too much bureaucracy and less people in government job to speed the process.
Posted by TheLioness79
xvll27, In America, I think the laws can vary state by state for divorce. I think the main purpose for the wait time is to be sure the marriage is truly irreconcilable. In my state you have one length of time without kids and a longer length of time to wait with kids. This is not my first time going through this process in this state, the first separation..I knew it would work out but had my papers drawn and ready just in case. Sure enough, it was 7 months, and still in the wait period but it worked out. Twelve years later, I know it is over. My issue is to get him to sign while he is over seas or make me take a harder route. This could have ended by now if he would have signed and sent them back when he got them.


Yes. And sometimes it may also vary from county to county within a State as it does in mine. For example, my county requires ALL filers to go through 3 reconciliation attempts, with each being at least two months apart..before the court will grant a decision on the divorce. That means, if you go through the normal process, it's a minimum of 6 months! Of course, there are exceptions granted too.
in arizona, you have to go through counseling during the separation and, if the judge feels you should not be divorced for whatever reason, you will not be granted a divorce.
i appreciate all of your responses, seriously.
it is good to know i am not out here by myself.
boy...i cannot wait to see how thia little relationship plays out Winking

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