Another Libra guy/Gemini girl tale ...

First off, I have to say there is some awesome info here on Libras and I want to thank you all for that. My Libra guy is definitely ALL Libra! This is going to be a long tale because it has been a long 4 months since I met this fellow.

I dated this Libra man (who is 8 years younger than I) for three months but he was pretty fresh out of a relationship that he said was the only woman he ever loved. He flat out said he didn't want to commit to anything. Fine with me, I have pretty much everything I want in my life and he and I were so much alike (both intelligent, love to play competitive games like chess, ping pong, pool, Othello and more) that I figured that just having him around as a friend was worth it. Then I fell in love with him. ARGH ... he knew it too and not because I told him (I didn't) but just in how I looked at him. I couldn't say no to this man about anything.

To make a long story short, he did the disappearing thing on me right after we had an argument where he was calling me 'his woman' and I flat out told him that he couldn't call me that if we were just friends. In essence, he got jealous and accused me of talking to a bartender that was being rude to him (he thought the bartender liked me and therefore didn't like him). I am a very honest person and I thought he knew that about me, but when I tried to deny it, he remained fixated on it. So I gave him space but it tore me up inside. Finally I told him that I just couldn't do this (be with him without actually being in a relationship) being in love with him like I was and told him I couldn't see him for a while. He said it was just because I was hurt (OH HE NOTICED?) and that he absolutely did not want that (his words). So it has been close to 3 weeks and he texted me last week and told me that he hoped I was doing ok and the sun was shining on me (man do Libras have a way with words). I texted back and said yeah I was feeling better and if he wanted to talk he could call and I would talk to him (I had deleted his number so I wasn't tempted to call him).

We really did have such an awesome time together (talking, playing and in bed too) and I miss the guy like crazy but I hated feeling the way I did when it really wasn't being reciprocated.

I guess my question is .. if I let him back into my life and manage to NOT sleep with him (not sure I can resist him though), does it sound like it would possibly turn into a real relationship?

Guess I should clarify that both of us are old enough to know better lol. I am a sexy 50 yo and he is one heck of a hot 42 yo. I actually have dated guys younger then he is ... not a cougar but the guys my age just can't keep up with me.

By 'Real Relationship' I mean one where we are exclusive. I seriously think he is in love with me just by his words and actions but it scares him because his last relationship was REALLY bad. She was a swinger by the end of it and wanted him to do it too. Well, he tried once and realized that it wasn't going to work.

And it was fine the way it was until the darn guy made me fall in love with him. And I don't fall easily. So many conflicting emotions in this guy though. One minute he is talking about how great I make him feel and the next minute he would be telling me about the Taco Bell waitress that wants to date him. I am pretty sure that he was only seeing me when we were dating though. He just talked about dating other people and told me that I could date if I wanted to. Which being a one-man woman, I couldn't do once I fell for him. The reason I backed off was because I needed to get a handle on the emotions he brought out in me. I think I have done that ... but at 42 shouldn't he know what he wants out of life?

Posted by sky1
I would suggest resisting is better than give up we like to chase let us do that !

Which is why I keep deleting his number lol. I make him contact me. Bet he calls me soon though.

Posted by tiziani

The key in your chemistry here is how you both met and what you said to each other:

"I dated this Libra man (who is 8 years younger than I) for three months but he was pretty fresh out of a relationship that he said was the only woman he ever loved. He flat out said he didn't want to commit to anything. Fine with me"

If you consider that to be real and honest, then go for it. If you don't, then avoid it. Because that is the kind of chemistry that will happen all over again when you both start things up once more so soon.

This is kind of confusing because 'chemistry-wise' we are so a match. I mean the looking into each others eyes and leaning in for a passionate kiss kind or him grabbing my hand and dragging me to the bedroom because I beat him when we were playing chess. The kind where you can lay in each others arms and talk for literally hours about stuff you never told anyone else kind. Chemistry? Oh yeah.

I really was fine with him not committing until he started acting possessive towards me. Did I make a mistake by pushing him away so I could get a grip on my own emotions?

Posted by sky1
Indeed

Since you a one-man woman don't just fall for him ,let him chase for you for a long time ,Let just say for a year 😆
he must be loyal to you or else he would might treat you like a ordinary girl

Too late not to fall but thanks for the input. I am definitely not an ordinary girl though. He knows it too. I will try to not mind the ignoring me thing so much next time if I let him back in my life which is what prompted me to take the break from him in the first place. Being a true Gemini myself though ... I am of the mindset that if you don't want me, then I don't want to be with you.

If nothing else, we have a lot of fun together when we are together. I do miss that.

Posted by sky1
He might got Scorpio in moon ? It probably makes him Jealous , emotional and bit of possessive about you .

No idea ... his birthday is Oct 5. He swore he wasn't jealous but he sure did act jealous!

The thing is, you can rationalize subsequent events as much as you'd like and I freely accept people change and grow. But everything you've said here very much fits under the category of the terms you first set out when you start seeing each other.

He said "I'm not looking for a commitment" when he saw you, and you said "fine with me" when you saw him.

That is very indicative. And no matter how much rationale can be found after that, the truth is first impressions count for a lot. It will take a lot of time apart to break free from the pattern between you that you've already set in place.

I get what you are saying ... and thank you. He comes back around then I am going to have to stand by that 'fine with me' statement. Maybe since I am starting to understand his actions more, I can actually do that this time.

Thank you both here!

Posted by sky1
Keep us updated Miss GeminiTam love to hear from you more 😄

He is still missing ... which actually may be a good thing for me. I really liked him way too much.

It seems you??ve gotten all the advice you need. I agree with Tiz. However I??d like to point out that when you accepted —friend with benefits?? you put a stamp on this, that its okay by you. I think it was mature for you to back out and let him know that you could not do it anymore. Now I think you need to stick to it. I know first-hand that it's no fun being —in love?? alone, and this man has openly told you that he has only truly loved once, and is not looking for it again. BELIEVE HIM, and do yourself a favor and stop.

He's still a man Libra, or not, and he will do whatever you accept or allow. So far, you??ve allowed him to be a part of your life with no strings or stipulations, so try to implant them now will only make him head for the hills only looking back when you decide to go back accepting what he told you from jump. Also, I??ll be honest and tell you I don't think he's in love with you. I think he cares for you, but if he was in love with you then you would be his woman.

Posted by GeminiTam
One minute he is talking about how great I make him feel and the next minute he would be telling me about the Taco Bell waitress that wants to date him. I am pretty sure that he was only seeing me when we were dating though. He just talked about dating other people and told me that I could date if I wanted to.

Ruuuun.

He doesn't know what he wants because he's still coping with the losses of his last relationship. All of this is classic "can't get his shit together."

The question is why the did you choose to get involved with a guy fresh out of a relationship? Those guys just make me run the other way because it's instant disaster, casual or not.

I'm currently in the same phase though- no contact and he can come around if he feels like it. I'm not doing squat anymore. When it's clear that a guy has no idea what he wants, but basically wants his cake and to eat it too, it's kinda a lost cause.

You can't help but be wtf or lol at the things they do though. Jealousy, double standards, etc. Guys are just selfish dicks at times.

Posted by pinklibra
It seems you??ve gotten all the advice you need. I agree with Tiz. However I??d like to point out that when you accepted —friend with benefits?? you put a stamp on this, that its okay by you. I think it was mature for you to back out and let him know that you could not do it anymore. Now I think you need to stick to it. I know first-hand that it's no fun being —in love?? alone, and this man has openly told you that he has only truly loved once, and is not looking for it again. BELIEVE HIM, and do yourself a favor and stop.

He's still a man Libra, or not, and he will do whatever you accept or allow. So far, you??ve allowed him to be a part of your life with no strings or stipulations, so try to implant them now will only make him head for the hills only looking back when you decide to go back accepting what he told you from jump. Also, I??ll be honest and tell you I don't think he's in love with you. I think he cares for you, but if he was in love with you then you would be his woman.

If he was in love with her, he wouldn't be telling her to date other people.

The two key indicators was that and "I'm not ready for a relationship." I think the rest is his penis talking.

Posted by sky1

Posted by GeminiTam

Posted by sky1
Keep us updated Miss GeminiTam love to hear from you more 😄

He is still missing ... which actually may be a good thing for me. I really liked him way too much.

How goes the search? 🙂

click to expand

He's texted me a couple of times ... not that I am really interested in him other than as a friend anymore. He is definitely an interesting friend but that is the way I am keeping it mostly because he plays a mean game of chess lol. I have moved on.