Another Scorpio topic

I'm just pissed and frustrated and fucking demoralized right now.
I met this Scorpio girl back in Feb. I would always catch her smiling at me but I never thought anything of it because she had a boyfriend at the time. I saw her and her boyfriend fall apart and still didn't really pay much attention to her.
One night, she adds me on facebook and we begin talking. Hit if off well and went out dancing a few nights later.
End up at my place, talking, watching a movie, cuddling and start making out for an hour or two. No sex though.
We begin to see a lot of each other and a lot of deep conversations, making out and after 2 weeks, the sex comes in.
We discuss being in a relationship. She thinks it over and she wants to give it a go. Less than 2 days later she decides she isnt ready for an emotional commitment but still wants to see each other exclusively. So, we're still spending all of our free time together, talking and making out.
A few more weeks pass and she tells me she wants to be in a relationship. Things are going great. We're having great sex, we're involved in community service together, have a lot in common spiritually, we're meeting each others families and everyone loves each other. She's telling me I'm the love of her life and we're making plans to live together in 7 or 8 months. Have kids in 3 or 4 years.
And then school starts back up for her. And then we go to church one Sunday and the pastor is talking about how people have a tendency to latch onto things that make them feel good and control it and how it's not really love.
I could feel the negative vibes coming off of her.
We get back to my place and she tells me she has a lot of thinking to do and that she feels like that's what we've been doing to each other (excuse me?)
She tells me she loves me and we'll talk later etc..
A few days later she tells me we need to slow it down and set some boundaries but doesn't know how to do that. I tell her that I love her and I'll do whatever it takes to make it work. She says she's not sure. I tell her that she needs to just say she wants to end it and get it over with, so after pulling teeth...she finally says yea, we need to break up.
So then...a couple days later she wants to talk about it. Says she wants to go back to being friends but still go on dates with each other and just have fun.
I say I'm willing to do that but I still want that exclusivity boundary and she says shes okay with that if it would make me more co

..make me more comfortable.

Things are awkward but I'm making the effort. She invites me over for our first 'date' and we watch a movie. We end up making out a lot and she's telling me she misses me and is sorry for running away scared but this is what we have to do.
Fine. A few nights later we have another movie date night and soon after she is ready to rock...yea, we end up in the bedroom.

Afterwards I confronted her about this whole thing and ask her if she is sure this isn't about keeping her options open and she gets pretty offended for even implying it. Okay.

So, the weeks pass on. We still hang out every now and then and talk and shes telling me she loves me spends the night here one night. No sex though.
The next day she goes to some concert with her friend. She's calling me and texing me and telling me how terrible of a time shes having. But, the end of the night she gets some fucking rockstars phone number.
She tells me she was just having fun and shes going to throw it away because she cannot let herself go back to that life style . This fucking bitch.
She never threw the number away. A week later she texts me to tell me she HAD to go see this guys band play one last time...4 hours away. We got into a huge argument and at one point I asked her.."what are you going to do if he makes a move on you" and she responds with "I dont know" So...I ended it.
That was last Friday. Monday...she pops up at a place where I go as well and at one point we lock stares at each other and shes looking at me like "what....you cant do shit" I keep on catching her glancing at me a few times as well.

So then last night she texts me to ask me if she gave me her dave matthews tickets. Where she got this idea, I have no clue.
I said no. She said have you seen them and I said no.
I gave in and was like What the fuck are you doing? "Im trying to let go here. Do you not want me to?" She never answered me. So tonight, I texted her again and was like "why cant you just answer me? Should we let go? Yes or no?"
And she said "why are you doing this?" to which I replied "because I dont know what else to do"
She said "I wish we could still talk but I cant be in a relationship with you. I dont share the same feelings"
I said fine, thats all I needed to hear. I asked her when she decided she didnt love me anymore...she never replied. I said DID you ever love me...she never replied. I said "maybe it was when you actually thought this rockstar guy who has three kids from a previous marriage and is engaged to a 19 year old actually likes you." No reply. So, I just said fuck it. Apologized. Said it was nice knowing you. And goodbye.


I can still see her facebook where she keeps on posting things about how hard life is...all attention whore like.


I just don't get wtf happened and why?

Dude, put a notch in the heartbrak column and leave it at that.

Speaking from someone with experience with Scorp. girls, the relaitonships are only great while you have the emotional power and upper hand. After that it becomes a game of what she can get away with and what you will tolerate.

My first serious relaitonship, a Scorp girl put herself at my feet until I was ready make the decision that she was "the one", then she did a 180. Like you, I took none of that. We were rocky for the last month or two, same exact situation you have been in with her since her epiphany that your love wasn't "love". I need to think/I love you/I'm not sure until she went out to "experience" the opposite side of the coin. I never asked if there was anything sexual between her and who she partied with that night but there were signs.

The next morning I woke up early, went to the bank, withdrew all of the funds from our joint bank accounts handed her fifty bucks and told her to have a safe 500 mile drive back home where we grew up. She did. In 6 years if hindsight there was never a sign that there was an alternative, more favorable option I could or should have considered.

@Acrosstheground: As a scorpio myself, I would say that she wasn't playing. I really think that she had feelings for you. However she didn't want to commit, she wanted the stability of a relationship but not the burden that being with someone can bring. Don't get me wrong relationship are great, but with each relationship come great responsability. You need to be respectful of the other, loyal, sincere, caring, compassionate...I would just that at this stage of her life she didn't have it in her to devote all her attention to one person and to care about her as much as she should be. Anyways good luck man...maybe she'll grow out of it and realize that she lost a great guy!!

@nicodemus: I love reading your comments as a Libran...would you mind checking my post "The Libra man in my life is..."
Thanks,


Take care amazing Librans!!!
ScorpSage

I would recommend against the "Let's still be friends" thing too. Even if it wasn't her intention to play games, that is what she has done. Nic is right, ship her off and wish her the best. It is clear that you still have feeling for her and you cannot "make" those feelings stop. Time will do that. All you can control is the amount of contact you have with her... I recommend ZERO.

I have been through this before as well. The best thing you can do is shut her out. Do our famous "my Libra went cold" thing. Forget her and move on with your life.

You know, that is exactly what I wanted to do. I went completely cold on her. Ended it. Deleted everything. No contact. She was the one who put herself in my face. Now she is telling me she still wants to talk...but wont give me any answers as to why she acted like how she acted. Her whole attitude is just "we were only together for X amount of time...why does this have to be so serious?" My thing is this. She pursued me. I let her in. She filled me with all of this "youre the love of my life and lets have kids BS" I believed she really felt that way. I was COMPLETELY loyal to her. Deleted other girls phone numbers, ignored phone calls and texts, deleted girls from facebook...just the total extent to prove to her I was all about her.
And then outta nowhere it's a complete 180. That shallow femme fatale. She needs to go sting herself to death and rid the world of her sh1t.

Posted by acrossTheGround
You know, that is exactly what I wanted to do. I went completely cold on her. Ended it. Deleted everything. No contact. She was the one who put herself in my face. Now she is telling me she still wants to talk...but wont give me any answers as to why she acted like how she acted. Her whole attitude is just "we were only together for X amount of time...why does this have to be so serious?" My thing is this. She pursued me. I let her in. She filled me with all of this "youre the love of my life and lets have kids BS" I believed she really felt that way. I was COMPLETELY loyal to her. Deleted other girls phone numbers, ignored phone calls and texts, deleted girls from facebook...just the total extent to prove to her I was all about her.
And then outta nowhere it's a complete 180. That shallow femme fatale. She needs to go sting herself to death and rid the world of her sh1t.

Cry me a river.....u really sound like sour grapes.

Posted by FemmeScorpion

Posted by acrossTheGround
You know, that is exactly what I wanted to do. I went completely cold on her. Ended it. Deleted everything. No contact. She was the one who put herself in my face. Now she is telling me she still wants to talk...but wont give me any answers as to why she acted like how she acted. Her whole attitude is just "we were only together for X amount of time...why does this have to be so serious?" My thing is this. She pursued me. I let her in. She filled me with all of this "youre the love of my life and lets have kids BS" I believed she really felt that way. I was COMPLETELY loyal to her. Deleted other girls phone numbers, ignored phone calls and texts, deleted girls from facebook...just the total extent to prove to her I was all about her.
And then outta nowhere it's a complete 180. That shallow femme fatale. She needs to go sting herself to death and rid the world of her sh1t.

Cry me a river.....u really sound like sour grapes.

click to expand

Yea? So? Now what? Weren't you the one posting in here over and over and over about these games you were playing with a Libra...being completely sour and not wanting to take anyones advice out of your bitterness and need to "win" some kind of silly game?
I guess you do have a right to call me sour grapes. I guess it's true you cant see characteristics in another until you can first see them in yourself.

It is concerning how quickly you guys were talking about getting married and having kids. I can even see where her statement of "we were only together for X amount of time...why does this have to be so serious?" begins. You said you just met her in February, and she was dating someone else at the time. After just a few weeks of you all being together you got very serious. That's why it has to be so serious. The two of you let it get that way

Right or not, once a Libra relationship is at that level it is unlikely to survive at a lesser level... at least for now. You jumped into this thing head first. It turns out the water was shallow and you banged your head. Go take care of yourself. Keep your distance, sort out your head.

A lot of people may disagree. Some will say it is easy to revert to being just friends especially since the relationship was so short. Well, to each his own. A typical Libra cannot do this. The level of commitment talked about in this relationship was very deep regardless of the amount of time invested.

My $ .02 anyway.

I just wanted to stress again to let this one go. I know because of how strong the emotions were the risk is present to try to find a way to get what the heart wants.

The silver lining here is that you found out what you are capable of as a partner, how good of one you can actually be for someone you really want to be with and what exactly it is that you need in return.

At the end of last year the scorp ex called me out of the blue. She is a mom now and either engaged or married, honestly not completely sure. She had been doing a lot of contemplating I guess and just wanted to tell me that she was sorry for how she acted when we were together, when we broke up and that she was just realizing that she made a mistake, that she did not realize how good she had it with me, in all areas.

The irony of it is that I am in a relationship, being and providing exactly what she said she wanted from me all of those years ago. I told her not to apologize, that I would not change our experience for anything. I told her that every high and every low we had gave me the experience and knowledge I needed to be the partner I am for Angel.

She didn't know what to say.

Her relationship at that time was in a real bad way, the father of her child is not healthy father material. I actually put her on the phone with Angel to talk about what was going on in her life. The situation was bad enough, and Angel has experience with the kind of bad she was going through, that she actually offered my Scorp ex to come stay with us to help her get away and get the kind of life she wants started. I don't think she knew how to take the combination each of our responses in the situation.

I don't hear much from her now.

Posted by LibraSid
It is concerning how quickly you guys were talking about getting married and having kids. I can even see where her statement of "we were only together for X amount of time...why does this have to be so serious?" begins. You said you just met her in February, and she was dating someone else at the time. After just a few weeks of you all being together you got very serious. That's why it has to be so serious. The two of you let it get that way

Right or not, once a Libra relationship is at that level it is unlikely to survive at a lesser level... at least for now. You jumped into this thing head first. It turns out the water was shallow and you banged your head. Go take care of yourself. Keep your distance, sort out your head.

A lot of people may disagree. Some will say it is easy to revert to being just friends especially since the relationship was so short. Well, to each his own. A typical Libra cannot do this. The level of commitment talked about in this relationship was very deep regardless of the amount of time invested.

My $ .02 anyway.

He does a good enough job of laying it out that I can see pretty clearly that she was the one that pushed the depth of seriousness. then she turned it around on him. Then she attempted to take advantage of the emotional depth available to her from him and the availability of "good times" existing around her, outside of their relationship.

After a month or two of no contact my ex and I reverted to friendship. The significant difference between my situation and his is that my ex lived 10 hours away. The friendship turned into a manatanous cycle of her calling me for advice for her relationship problems, me giving it, her not following it, then calling me back for more advice she would not take to heart and follow.

When Angel and I got together I could tell after a couple of weeks of living together that my exes phone calls and our lengthy conversations didn't sit right with her. I feared it was an issue of insecurity because of my ex's and my past. I asked her about it, turns out she was just irritated with my ex for calling, taking up so much of my time getting counseling from me then disregarding it only to call back and repeat the cycle.

I explained it didn't bother me much, I am as loyal as friends get and it is her responsibility to unscrew her life, I don't have an emotional atta

Believe me, I understand how quickly Libra men can get attached. I have been there as well. I wasn't doubting his role in the situation just saying that until he is sure how he feels he may want to cut her off. Once the emotional attachment is no longer there you can consider a friendship. Trying to go for an intimate relationship to "just friends" overnight will not end well.

If I may ask Nicodemus, How long were you and the ex together? I have seen you mention her a few times.

4 almost 5 years.

I understand how quickly Libra men can get attached.

I don't know if this is exclusive to Libra males but I have seen a lot of males get attached faster than the female.
Libra and Scorp emotional expression will be very very different. Cannot stress this enough.
Scorp will test waters/emotion/feelings, Libra will dive in... Like Nicodemus said, Scorp plays every situation to get emotional upperhand, Libra needs intellectual upperhand. The problem for Libra is in relationships, emotions play more than intellect... this is where Scorp can trap you, quite quickly.
The reason Libra may not detach very quickly is the mars effect; Libra's Venus will keep getting attracted to Scorp more than opposite sign Aries as Scorp has similar ruler mars but is seemingly calm on the surface (Libras fall easily for anything that appears calm/subtle, etc). However, Libra is better off with Aries who plays relationship cards with similar rules but on the surface, libra will get turned off by aries obvious tactlessness/restlessness. Taurus, having a similar venus ruler is a better match for Scorp as they play relationship cards with similar rules

This experience of Libra & Scorp relationships around me... this does not mean the relationship will definitely not work, it just means it will not be easy to communicate unless the Libra has some other prominent water planets and Scorp has some prominent air planets

AcrossTheGround, looks like she was testing waters, you were a step ahead... you never know what the future hold I guess but you gotta get better first before deciding the next step. Good luck!

Posted by zenalchemy
I understand how quickly Libra men can get attached.

Scorp plays every situation to get emotional upperhand, Libra needs intellectual upperhand.

My scorp relationships were great in this aspect even regarding the one I was referring to UNTIL I started loving her as much as she loved me. Until then I had the emotional and intillectual upperhand and our relationship, while it had issues like any other was pretty smooth functionaly. Funny thing is that I never really conciously thought of myself as having an "upperhand" and didn't exploit it. It was something that "just was". I don't tolerate power struggles in relationships anyway, that is why I handled the break up the way I did. She made it clear someone was going to win, someone was going to lose and in typical scorpio fashion it was high stakes. Win big or lose big. That pissed me off more than I think she was expecting and ready for. She stung, I dropped a scale on her 😉 She got what she was after, she lost BIG.

Scorp women are a bit of a cunundrum. There are two options for them, submit if their guy has a power advantage/exploit and try to dominate if they have a power advantate. There is no equal division of power in their mind. I don't think that they want it anyway, they like how "deep" and "Intense" the lopsided power distribution feels.

The Libran principle of 50/50 is a Scorpian curse IMO.

I have to say that I appreciate everyones feedback.
Believe me, I own my portion of how fast things went. We both agreed that it went too fast and well, stepping it back just didn't work. She tested me to see what she could get away with so I ended it. She started poking around to try and bait me in and I bit. Oh well. She got what she wanted. She couldn't just respect my no contact rule and she exploited the fact that she knew I'd still be grieving.
We argued via text messages all day today. As usual, power struggle. She wants to still be friends but won't answer my questions and feels like she doesn't owe me any explanations. Finally I surrendered and said I'm done. Don't contact me again. You're a self-centered brat and you need to really realize how your bullsh1t affects others and until then, I'm done with you.
To which she responded "why are you flipping out now?"
I couldn't do anything but roll my eyes and laugh in amazement. I'm not answering her.
Back to what I said last week. That's it. No more contact what so ever.
It sucks to watch someone go down a destructive path, but I'm not going to play hero or any of that crap. The path she chooses is hers and I don't want anything to do with it. I don't even care anymore if I never get an explanation.

Posted by acrossTheGround

It sucks to watch someone go down a destructive path, but I'm not going to play hero or any of that crap. The path she chooses is hers and I don't want anything to do with it. I don't even care anymore if I never get an explanation.

That is a very tough but very important decision. It is one I had to make with my ex-wife a few months back. there came a point where I couldn't try and save her while she actively destroyed herself anymore. The hardest part is accepting that you may never get an explanation.

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by acrossTheGround

It sucks to watch someone go down a destructive path, but I'm not going to play hero or any of that crap. The path she chooses is hers and I don't want anything to do with it. I don't even care anymore if I never get an explanation.

That is a very tough but very important decision. It is one I had to make with my ex-wife a few months back. there came a point where I couldn't try and save her while she actively destroyed herself anymore. The hardest part is accepting that you may never get an explanation.

click to expand

I know. I think I really just needed to "surrender" and let it go. I hate the mind games BS. I was all about them when I was younger. I craved that kind of intensity, but I'm really just looking for something stable and with her...she had me thinking she was until everything started to unravel at the seams. I'm not going to go to bed stressed out and wake up with a headache anymore. That's is more important to me than any kind of answers. I honestly don't think the girl has any answers. She's running on self-will right now. The advice I get and the experience others share with me all leads back to the same thing....turn away and run. I still care about her but it's gotta be from a distance....a far distance.

Just a quick update.
I dropped the big iron clad scales on her. She may not realize it yet, maybe she does.
Although I let HER go (happily), I couldn't let the injustice go unchecked. I have Scorpio in a few key planets myself so I know how to play this game.
Suffice it to say, I found out for a fact she is not who she is presenting herself to be. Or at least she may have recently changed. She has changed for the worse. She did, in fact, go back to a very bad life style . It's enlightening to know the truth where she didn't want to give any, however...it is kind of disturbing to know the facade she is putting on.
She comes from a very fucked up past and managed to clean herself up well. Stayed clean from drugs and alcohol for over 2 years (well, maybe not) She used to be a pretty hardcore junkie and tricked herself out for what she wanted.
She turned into a very respectable woman who is involved in church and community service and helping others. has an excellent job, pays her own bills, and goes to a very good college now.
However, I find out, through cold/hard concrete evidence (her own admission) that she has been drinking and doing drugs again and taking her clothes off for money.
I'm not going to "tell on" her nor will I ever tell her I know this. I'm just going to sit back and watch the demise.
Let this be a lesson to you "my stinger is greater than thou" Scorpios. Libras will ALWAYS balance things back in our favor.
Always.

Posted by acrossTheGround

Let this be a lesson to you "my stinger is greater than thou" Scorpios. Libras will ALWAYS balance things back in our favor.
Always.

Because you can't fuck over a Libra without fucking over yourself....harder.

Scorps included.

ugh ... what a shitty situation Across. Sending you a huge hug.

Something Nic or Sid said rang true to me. We always have a need to know why. That little three letter word keeps us holding out longer than we should. I feel for you. Wishing better days ahead.

Posted by little_sparrow
ugh ... what a shitty situation Across. Sending you a huge hug.

Something Nic or Sid said rang true to me. We always have a need to know why. That little three letter word keeps us holding out longer than we should. I feel for you. Wishing better days ahead.

thank you very much

Posted by LisaLeo
my 2 cents, this isn't about astrocompatibility, it's about age. you are now 24, you have a kid, and you think a Libra guy can be monogamous..all this in the Facebook years? hard task for the most compatible ppl. hard situation, but at least you have a kid, a definite beautiful plus

huh?

wrong thread, sorry dear 🙂

Posted by TasteOfChaos
What the hell are you on about—

what's wrong, your Mars in Leo acting out a bit?

Posted by LisaLeo
wrong thread, sorry dear 🙂

oh haha. No problem. 🙂

🙂) if stalking would be that fun and light we'd live in a whole better world..
I was just part curious part mixed up cause I seem to have lost the only thread I actually had something to say on, grrr, looking for that user

oh but I doo I manage to make plenty of them mistakes 🙂 while trying to watch some ballet on tv, look for the thread, look at some charts and read some link about JFK and the Carlos Marcello conspiracy theory all in one hour left before the week-end is over 🙂)

I read the thread yesterday afternoon, I had planned to reply to it as soon as I have the time and now I posted on the wrong thread. I hope it adds up now cause 1) nobody actually means to post about 24 yrs old ppl with kids on someone else's thread just for the kick of it and 2) we are going off topic on this one, as well as wasting ppl's time

if you're easily distracted (or human) you must have made mistakes too. now, I know that although a Libra shows empathy the sense of fairness (if not the attempt to manipulate) will point out that an error remains an error. So what I've noticed is that in this situation being honest about it doesn't help. What helps is some Mars energy to come over and Aries- style divert Libra's attention with a joke or Scorpio style do something else whatever it is they strategically do to get out of it. Which is sad, cause in a way Libra is practically asking to be manipulated .. sorry if I sound too gloomy, good night.

Posted by little_sparrow
ugh ... what a shitty situation Across. Sending you a huge hug.

Something Nic or Sid said rang true to me. We always have a need to know why. That little three letter word keeps us holding out longer than we should. I feel for you. Wishing better days ahead.

This is absolutely true about needing to know why. For me it is a way to be sure that how I decide to handle something so important is the best possible way to handle it.

If in searching for the why I can see that the other persons intentions don't include my best interest because they DON'T WANT them too, then I can be confident in doing what is necissary to make a clean cut from that person or situation in my life.

It is a double edged sword though, if we see the other person or situation as being misguided in their action rather than intentional then we are at risk of "hanging in there" to try and help. Even if it only does more damage.

Posted by LisaLeo
I read the thread yesterday afternoon, I had planned to reply to it as soon as I have the time and now I posted on the wrong thread. I hope it adds up now cause 1) nobody actually means to post about 24 yrs old ppl with kids on someone else's thread just for the kick of it and 2) we are going off topic on this one, as well as wasting ppl's time

Makes sense to me Lisa. 🙂

Posted by nicodemus

Posted by little_sparrow
ugh ... what a shitty situation Across. Sending you a huge hug.

Something Nic or Sid said rang true to me. We always have a need to know why. That little three letter word keeps us holding out longer than we should. I feel for you. Wishing better days ahead.

This is absolutely true about needing to know why. For me it is a way to be sure that how I decide to handle something so important is the best possible way to handle it.

If in searching for the why I can see that the other persons intentions don't include my best interest because they DON'T WANT them too, then I can be confident in doing what is necissary to make a clean cut from that person or situation in my life.

It is a double edged sword though, if we see the other person or situation as being misguided in their action rather than intentional then we are at risk of "hanging in there" to try and help. Even if it only does more damage.

click to expand

True! True! True! I am so guilty of this.

Needing to know,isnt only a libra trait.....its human nature to want to know. It helps us re-evaluate,draw conslusions and hopefully make wiser future decisions.

I thouht Libras were too tough for Scorpios! My ass! People hate Scorpios and always complain about us, but they are always falling madly in love with us! We obviously have something that others don't have!

Posted by Cinnamon Girl
I thouht Libras were too tough for Scorpios! My ass! People hate Scorpios and always complain about us, but they are always falling madly in love with us! We obviously have something that others don't have!

Ur certainy flying the scorpio flag tonite!!lol