Attraction

Being a libra means that you easily attract others. My problem is that once they are attracted, they tend to scurry away these days? What is the deal with that? What are they initially attracted to? What experiences has anyone else had with this attraction/leave me alone syndrome?

Posted by tiziani
I think we tend to attract people who find comfort in never knowing where they stand

Nah, I think that's the main problem actually...most people are NOT comfortable not knowing where they stand.
While at the beginning of any relationship it's normal to feel unsure about where you stand - and it's even a little exciting - after a while it gets kind of exhausting.

I could be speaking for others and making assumptions...but I think that dramatic change of heart you speak of is more a self preservation tactic. They start to feel really insecure, so they criticize everything you do hoping it will level the playing field a little if they can make you feel a little insecure as well.

Libras almost never appear insecure, even though knowing many very personally, I know you actually are.

Posted by tiziani

Posted by brianafay

Posted by tiziani
I think we tend to attract people who find comfort in never knowing where they stand

Nah, I think that's the main problem actually...most people are NOT comfortable not knowing where they stand.
While at the beginning of any relationship it's normal to feel unsure about where you stand - and it's even a little exciting - after a while it gets kind of exhausting.

I could be speaking for others and making assumptions...but I think that dramatic change of heart you speak of is more a self preservation tactic. They start to feel really insecure, so they criticize everything you do hoping it will level the playing field a little if they can make you feel a little insecure as well.

Libras almost never appear insecure, even though knowing many very personally, I know you actually are.

That's interesting. Seems very logical actually. Thanks, bri. I probably needed to hear that. Even so, it's not personally easy for me to see where I might be making people feel like they don't know where they stand with me. When I was younger, sure, I used to like to feed into the image that I was always right and perfect. Nowadays I am pretty open about sharing my doubts almost to the point of loser status tbh. Like Bling says, we are a bunch of Obi Wan Kinobis in that way. I can't even really hold anyone but myself responsible since it's happened over a number of years with different people. Maybe one day I'll find a balance between loserish doubts and James Bond confidence to keep people happy haha

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aw, haha 🙂

Well, in my experience it's the whole "bending the rules to match your argument" that creates confusion and insecurity.
One day you feel a certain way about xyz...but the next day, in a different context, you feel completely different about it.
That comes across as inconsistency which in turn creates feelings of doubt and not knowing where you stand. Can you kind of see what I mean?

but honestly, if people would just relax and not let their insecurities get the best of them, they would start to se there is actually a great deal of consistency in Libra's inconsistency 😛

🙂 Leebs are my soft spot

it sucks when they come in twos or more


and after finally giving in or deciding the one youll go with and it turned out to be the wrong choice yould go...

Posted by tiziani
Lol nail on the head right there

haha thats because its happening to me right now... goddamn.

Posted by libra08

it sucks when they come in twos or more


and after finally giving in or deciding the one youll go with and it turned out to be the wrong choice yould go...

EXACTLY!!!!
I have a few choices, then trying to be loyal and honest...the one I choose ups and leaves once I have told the others that I have settled with ONE. I think I should just take them all on. LOL

Posted by tiziani
Maybe it has to do with the independent/cardinal nature of our sign. We do like to set our own pace and sometimes bend the rules as we see fit to match our argument. As a consequence I think we tend to attract people who find comfort in never knowing where they stand, since this is pretty much the only way you could find comfort in the company of a Libra haha.
I'm trying to come to some more middle ground and grow up out of the easy come, easy go way of things.

I agree with and identify wholely with this statement. I know that I am like that and I attribute that to our seeing more than one side to a story. I tell people that I feel differently about any given thing on any given day. But if I feel a certain way about a person and take them to be my bf, then that is that no matter how I may feel I don't share that...Yes, I do dance to my own music and could care less about conforming. I am not a contractor, but a high school teacher. I do come off as having it all together because I do FOR ME. I do not require a lot and I am quite comfortable with my life as it is in regards to physical comforts. I focus more on emotional and intangibles. However, I do notice that I am not as "present" in the relationship as I need to be. I don't even know how to be as I am such a loner. I am the textbook definition of INTROVERT. I attract friends, but have no time for them so they scurry away, LOL It takes a lot of time to think and ponder all of my own 'boring' interests.

Posted by brianafay

Posted by tiziani
I think we tend to attract people who find comfort in never knowing where they stand

Nah, I think that's the main problem actually...most people are NOT comfortable not knowing where they stand.
While at the beginning of any relationship it's normal to feel unsure about where you stand - and it's even a little exciting - after a while it gets kind of exhausting.

I could be speaking for others and making assumptions...but I think that dramatic change of heart you speak of is more a self preservation tactic. They start to feel really insecure, so they criticize everything you do hoping it will level the playing field a little if they can make you feel a little insecure as well.

Libras almost never appear insecure, even though knowing many very personally, I know you actually are.

click to expand

I have been told this on several occasions. That everything I do seems to work and I make it look effortless. I do because I am working my ass off to make sure I understand what I am doing. I also try to do things for my comfort and ability. If I feel I can't do it well, I don't do it at all, LOL Selfish? Yes. But I don't want to look stupid either. Knowing where they stand....that is interesting, because I make it clear when I start to date someone whether they are FWB, friend zoned or someone I see potential in for a long term mate. I am about to feel that Libras are cursed. LOL

Yes, I can see the trying to make me appear insecure. But the sad part about that is...I do that in private as well. As my daughter tells me (She is Aries) if she did not live with me, she would swear that I smoked marijuana because I am so chill. Her words not mine. But I can see that and have been told that I intimidate most people because I show little emotion and appear apathetic of sorts. I don't know any other way to be. Help!

Self-preservation is the death of my relationships. I have Sun in 12th house as well, which only intensifies people not knowing where they stand. As I'm getting older, I'm starting to see this. As with lots of 12 house Suns, I'm starting to realize I live in my own head and my perception is very askew from what is actually the reality around me. I assume people know what I'm trying to say/do and am often baffled by the miscommunications I have, which is constant.

Posted by size zero superhero

Posted by leoliza
Further building on what has been said, I think Libras on the contrary do often appear insecure. They are people pleasers by nature, and tend to then snap later...

As is true of most, Libras treat others kindly unless or until they perceive reason to stop. At that point we're compelled to keep it real and speak up OR keep you(the royal you/impersonal)at arm's length.

Speaking for myself; in instances where all was civil initially & I later kirked out, it wasn't that I gradually got comfortable & dropped the saintly act. In actuality, I flipped my $ h!/t after getting majorly let down by someone I once held in high regard, and my tone toward the other party declined right alongside my opinion of them. To me, that hardly qualifies as phoniness.


Based on numerous accounts shared amongst the Libra board; I've gathered that many take issue with Libras reacting accordingly whence threatened or irritated & alternately become enraged if the Libra decides on forfeiture & goes MIA.
Those of us with at least two brain cells to rub together, soon realize folks will complain no matter how the story goes down. People-pleasing is an ideal that is best limited to sales representative & customer service job positions. 🙂

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Agreed. I will take A LOT of upsets. I have been known to "flip my shit". It is ONLY when I can no longer take disrespectful behavior. I usually warn and for whatever reason people don't take me seriously. I have the ability to cut people off for very long lengths of time. I will unleash a storm, prior. I will be direct and insanely truthful. What people fail to realize is when this happens it hurts me deeply. I am naive and love a lot. When I feel taken advantage of in anyway it disrupts my entire mind frame. I find that I try to be diplomatic and actually friendly about what is bothering me, then when I am not, people are shocked and think "i'm crazy" or "fickle". No, not at all. I actually feel like I get walked on by a lot of people... until I can't take it.

So basically, we are screwed by our own actions.

Nah, just gotta find the right person who recognizes the diamond in the rough 😛

(that's what my Libra calls himself...and also tells me, "better tie this eagle down before he soars away."

lol

Posted by MzDiana

Posted by tiziani
Maybe it has to do with the independent/cardinal nature of our sign. We do like to set our own pace and sometimes bend the rules as we see fit to match our argument. As a consequence I think we tend to attract people who find comfort in never knowing where they stand, since this is pretty much the only way you could find comfort in the company of a Libra haha.
I'm trying to come to some more middle ground and grow up out of the easy come, easy go way of things.

I agree with and identify wholely with this statement. I know that I am like that and I attribute that to our seeing more than one side to a story. I tell people that I feel differently about any given thing on any given day. But if I feel a certain way about a person and take them to be my bf, then that is that no matter how I may feel I don't share that...Yes, I do dance to my own music and could care less about conforming. I am not a contractor, but a high school teacher. I do come off as having it all together because I do FOR ME. I do not require a lot and I am quite comfortable with my life as it is in regards to physical comforts. I focus more on emotional and intangibles. However, I do notice that I am not as "present" in the relationship as I need to be. I don't even know how to be as I am such a loner. I am the textbook definition of INTROVERT. I attract friends, but have no time for them so they scurry away, LOL It takes a lot of time to think and ponder all of my own 'boring' interests.

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MzDiana, are we the same person? haha.. That was perfect for me!

I tend to think it's a number of things actually. One, with the constant "flirting" (I tend to really just consider this being out going) people tend to think we're not interested. I tend to talk to everyone and honestly when it counts I'm at a loss for words. So the person I'm interested seems we talk for an hour about nothing and when talking to them they get much less. Two, while we may bend the rules for ourselves, we tend to go out of our way to accommodate others. Something to the effect of letting someone we're interested in slide on flaking out on us and because we want to appear strong, not hurt by it, not say anything.

Three, along with the last point, when you constantly appear "cheerful" (as others have said) people seem to be taken aback when you display any non-happy emotions. I got burned pretty bad three times in a week and the first two times I took it in stride. By the third I had reached that Libra temper point. I went into full ignore the person mode and ticked off mode with everyone else for two weeks. People took notice, asking if everything was good and inviting me to lunch to talk about what the issue was. Finally the culprit manned up and gave a semblance of an apology.

Last point, I tend to feel like people don't allow me to express my feelings. We're listeners and advice givers, yet sometimes it feels like people don't want to do the same for us. I've seen a lot of friends through some of the worst days of their lives and when it came my turn, nobody was there.

But to our negatives, I don't think a lot of people have handle our indecisive nature. Asking me where to go to eat or what to do is the biggest mistake one can make. Any place the Libra is, is the place to be. From a dive bar to an five star restaurant we'll have fun and allow others to have fun. I also tend to think people believe we lie all the time, instead of just the regular white lies. Yes I'll tell you I enjoy a band and go to the concert even when I could care or less because it's something your interested in or because I'd just like to be around people. I'll tell you something you made was awesome when perhaps I didn't really enjoy it because you put effort into it so why should I rain on your parade?

Very tough being a Libra and people just don't understand 🙂

Posted by theGrinch


I went into full ignore the person mode ......glad to know that I am not the ONLY Libra to do this!

Last point, I tend to feel like people don't allow me to express my feelings. when it came my turn, nobody was there....... I totally agree with this point. We give what we wish to have in return, but get shafted on every turn.

But to our negatives, I don't think a lot of people have handle our indecisive nature....I don't think it is so much indecisive as that we really are happy wherever we may find ourselves. Again, yielding to others desires because we are not so picky.

Any place the Libra is, is the place to be.

I also tend to think people believe we lie all the time, instead of just the regular white lies. Yes I'll tell you I enjoy a band and go to the concert even when I could care or less because it's something your interested in or because I'd just like to be around people. I'll tell you something you made was awesome when perhaps I didn't really enjoy it because you put effort into it so why should I rain on your parade?.......We respect the person moreso than the thing itself.

Very tough being a Libra and people just don't understand 🙂

Yes, it is tough being a Libra and constantly being misunderstood.
Great post, thanks!