Back and forth is getting old.

This topic was created in the Libra forum by JennaRose on Wednesday, June 3, 2009 and has 32 replies.
Ok I've been on and off with a libra for 3 years. He left me for a girl he had been with, came back to me 2 months later, left again and came back a couple of months later and this has happened 5 times in the last 3 years. I've betrayed his trust and have owned up to it and he has betrayed mine but won't admit he was wrong? Recently he came back and just when things were getting good and he was being sweet he switched it up and ignored my texts. So why do libras do this?Is he emotionally connected to me or not and no this last encounter hasn't been sexual just sweet and nice long talks. Ugh I don't understand him. He also told some of my friends 3 years ago that he wouldn't date me because I was too young (I was 18.him 23) and now that I'm 21 he still doesn't want to I guess and when I ask him he just says "I plead the 5th" or "its a process". My emotional side is being drained by him. I just don't know why so much back and forth. What's it for?
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Good question.
Why do you allow it to happen? Why let him come back time and time again. He's shown numerous times that he isn't going to stay for a long period of time and even left you for another girl. He's playing you and you are falling for it hook line and sinker. He doesn't want to be with you.
"I plead the 5th" ?!?!
Hello!!! Wake up. Toss him. It's obviously a pattern and you have to be smart enough to break it.
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I wouldn't even give him an ultimatum. Hell no! If he didn't WANT to be with me without me threatening him then he can kiss my ass and I'll walk the hell away. That's me though.
She needs to pretend like his sorry ass never exsisted. He's playing her for a fool.
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I completely see where your coming from gingerscorp and I've tried to cut off contact with him. I even quit my job but he always seems to find me. Even though you are probably 90 percent right that he doesn't want to be with me, there's that 10 percent of me that holds on to the hope that he'll change or see something he missed before. I like to see the best in people and I hate to lose and come to that dreaded conclusion that he's just not that into me but its so much deeper than I'm saying. Its def a pattern that I have absolutely no idea how to break and everything he contacts me after a long period of time (this time it was 6 months) I get sick to my stomach...literally. I don't think that's a good reaction. I know I have to stop.
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It's hard. I've been there. Yes, you want to believe that he keeps coming back because he wants you and he's realizing that he's missing out but you have to stand strong.
It won't be an easy thing to cut him out. But you need to do it for YOU. YOU deserve to be happy with someone who won't do the back and forth thing. Until you let him go you won't be able to find that because you are so wrapped up in him.
I've been in a situation with a Libra male and yes they do come back and they seem to want you more when you tell them no. But stand your ground. This is about YOUR happiness. It'll be a pattern as it has been for 3 years!! Think about that 3 years wasted on someone treats you this way.
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Ahh the ultimatum. I've given the ultimatum before. I've said the whole "If you dont want to be with me in a relationship I cant be with you." I even shed tears and I had NEVER cried to him because being a Taurus im not really emotional and apparently crying freaks them out but thats another thing. I told him to give me an answer and again he could not and well here I am again in the same situation almost a year later. It pains me to say but I agree with most of what gingerscorp is saying but im just not as strong as you and your right Star, every damnn woman has the same problem with libras. The reason im having it though is that I refuse to give up without a fight. I never want to look back and think I should have tried harder. Its all twisted really...
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Wow the truth hurts. Your right. I know this. I have to stand my ground. Its a promise I have to make to myself. Cant look back anymore.
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Good luck. smile
My Libra ex and i broke up well over a year ago and I'm engaged to someone else. Even knowing I'm engaged and even though Libra has a girlfriend he texted me this SPRING and tried to get me to "hook up" with him. So you HAVE to hold your ground because they can be charming and try to do whatever it takes to make you talk to them and give in again. I suggest getting a new phone number and making sure he doesn't get it Sad I'm serious. Even telling him you don't want to speak to him again won't keep him from waiting a while to see if you are going to go soft on him and let him back in.
Keep yourself busy. Go out on dates and hang out with friends. It's hard but do it for you and your happiness. You might even meet the guy of your dreams if you quit holding out for this loser and start opening your eyes to new possiblities
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Thanks for the good luck b/c im going to need it. I actually considered changing my number and all my friends want me to seeing as they all hate him. I have tried dating and its one disaster story after another but I still really do keep trying and O man I would kick his ass if he wasnt so tall. He's like a damn leech and even being a Taurus Im weak with him even though I never show weakness with anyone else. If this isnt a big hard slap of reality I dont know what is.
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Jenna, I'm going to message you. My story is just like yours.
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Mine is too. I did this for 2 years with my libra. He wouldnt commit to me but when i told him I was done with him and never wanted to see him again he would freak out. Basically the typical, have your cake and eat it too. He would tell all my friends how much he really liked me and how he was planning romantic dates for us etc. and he never came through. Words mean nothing with these men, especially if hes a damaged libra. i remember one night this man cried in my lap like a little boy....over his ex. It hurt me sooo bad. He kept saying, "she messes with my head!" And i told him, "Good. now you know what it feels like cause youve been doing the same thing to me." Its so hard, trust me. A part of me honestly did love this man, and still does. I wanted to save him and make him feel better. I had this sickening view in my head that he would realize how much he loves me if i waited long enough. My advice to you is: start loving yourself. The only reason your accepting the bread crumbs he is giving you is because you don't fully love yourself yet. It took my libra man cheating on me with my BEST FRIEND on my BIRTHDAY to finally realize that he does not care about me! He is never going to change and its true what they say: if a man wants to be with you NOTHING WILL STOP HIM. The fact that he doesnt know shows you your answer right there. Why settle for someone that doesnt KNOW about you.
p.s. you will never get rid of this guy. Even after the birthday situation I STILL hear from this man. He STILL texts me and calls me and makes up crazy stories, like hes stranded and needs me to get him and why am i so mean to him and he still loves me and yadda yadda yadda. Ive finally reaches the point in my life where i out-grew his bullshit. He is a man baby and i swear id be fine if i never saw his face again.
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Sounds like he's using you because you have made yourself available everytime. Imagine if he's doing this to you, who is he is doing this to.
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who is = who else
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But can a man seriously be emotionally unavailable for so long? His childhood friend told me that he used to never be like this and that he used to fall for girls easier and now hes so void of emotion. So if it was once there why cant he just go to being that way? But anyways im proud of myself today because he text me and I ignored then he called me and I once again ignored. Its a first step but im dying of curiousity and the "what if" is hitting me but i'll deal. Yeah Brianafay if your story is like mine please do share.
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OMG xoxo he does do that. He fed me this story about his grand father passing away and how sad he was and of course i felt bad and he just so happened to throw this out there when I gave him the ultimatum. Its ridiculous but I think with most woman we want to think things will be different with us and that we'll have the power to do something other woman couldnt do in the process with that specific man. Im def in the process of finding myself and loving myself but it just sucks when you've tried so hard for something and I have had information brought to me that my EX bestfriend (because I cut off all contact with her) has slept with him but until I have proof i'll never wrap my head around it but I cut her off because im not taking the chance. SO it seems to me that they do the same things to everyone. Coincidence? Iunno.
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DAM LIBRA MEN remember once you go capricorn you never go back
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Wow.
I'm amazed at how similar the situations posted on this thread are to mine. I too have been going back and forth with a libra for about 3 years now. If it's one thing I've noticed about libra men (or maybe all men in general), it's that once you cut off all contact, they'll move mountains to get you back.. And I'm talking declarations of love.. contacting your friends.. promises of "change".. the whole nine yards. Mine went absolutely nuts to get me back, and though I don't doubt that he loves me, I doubt his ability to allow love to be something that's not fleeting. Someone on this board once told me that when a libra really cares for someone and feels like they can potentially lose you- yes, they will fight for you. However, once they're secure, they often don't know how to place you, so again the weighing of the scales begin. I've heard that libras idealize their significant others. They don't necessarily want someone that's perfect, but they want someone that's perfect for them. It is in their quest to find this person that they often string people along because they want to be absolutely sure that you're THE ONE. It's especially bad if the libra has baggage (speaking from personal experience). You have to decide yourself whether he's worth the wait.. In my opinion, 3 years is way too long to be waiting on a change. Sigh. But love screws us all up, doesn't it?
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interesting Mach I miss read who this was directed at but found it interesting, I was in Cannes years ago at a fund raiser for anamial protection and BB was there, did not get to talk to her but she did not age well, she looked bad could have to do with what you are talking about. where is bellas story posted? I would like to read it.
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Ok machiavelli bull's comment kind of freaked me out but those are just some tragic love stories. Not all Libra's im thinking would do things like that. My brother's a Libra and when he has girlfriends he does treat them right (from what I've seen and since he's dated one of my best friends who actually screwed HIM over). Theres always some bad seeds and its up to us to realize if ours just so happens to be one.
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Posted by JennaRose
But can a man seriously be emotionally unavailable for so long?


Not forever. But when he decides to become emotionally available it won't be for you. This is what you most need to understand. He will come around and he does deep down want the "perfect relationship". Your a good distraction along the way.
Look, all libra men are like this at some point, some very briefly and some for years. But not all Libra men ARE this. It is a phase they go through. Libra men can't help their original and natural idealistic beliefs of love and romantic views of sex until they meet a woman or women that crushes what they think and believe regarding these things.
Not only does every woman here have a story about the agonizing libra male but every agonizing libra male in each story has a true love ex that turned their world upside down.
For most of us, our first try is everything we have and it ends but we are the type to roll with the punches but our chivalrous and selfless in love natures are punished over and over until right or wrong we see women as adversarial. Most of these guys regarded in these posts see it as a them vs you when it comes to emotions and getting what one wants. It's wrong, but so was how women respected the natural libra male partner in a lot of these guys eyes.
We usually start off using our gifts of charm and charisma to woo the woman of our dreams with no intent other than fulfilling the woman of our dreams then it ends in nightmarish fashion and then in some cases the process is repeated and Libra guys realize it hasn't been worth it thus far. "I gave everything and got hurt" and then they get devious relizations regarding how far that charm and charisma can take you whether they really care about the other person or not.
As a Libra, and I have to say this but none of these stories are really any worse than the level of self respect the girls involved have for themselves.
With the way many of you act....why not. When it comes to women we are the sign of success when it comes to the courtship especially. If your going to do it anyway...why not be with them right? I mean your obviously going to make yourself sexually and emotionally available for nothing for someone...why let the next guy get the gravy?
Women control the access to sex and love.
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God for someone 109 you have a lot to say
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"Ive finally reaches the point in my life where i out-grew his bullbutter. He is a man baby and i swear id be fine if i never saw his face again."
xoxo , you are so right I had the same story with my ex- Libra.
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"Ive finally reaches the point in my life where i out-grew his bullbutter. He is a man baby and i swear id be fine if i never saw his face again."
xoxo , you are so right I had the same story with my ex- Libra.
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I have had enough drama with my ex- libra.
It took me took 2 years to finially get over him and out of my system. And when I read these posts . I remeber how I went through all the same stuff.
We do eventually grow up and get over these guys. It's hard and tough and a lot of tears later....but we do

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So after taking advice that I should just stop talking to him and let him be, hes been texting and calling and I have continued ignoring...until yesterday. My curiousity got the best of me and I wanted to see what he had to say. It had to have been the weirdest conversations filled with silences on his part. I kept asking him "why are you calling me?" and he was just like "just to see what your up to". After a weird 5 minute convo I got angry and just told him that I was doing errands(which I was) and hung up and he couldnt even say a "bye" back to me. About 2 minutes after he texts me saying if he can ask me a question and of course im like "what?" and he says "do you know who this is?". My response was "what? yeahhh.". I mean seriously how cocky is that. Of course I know who im talking to. I took it as I for once ignored him in the 3 years i've known him and for once I raised my voice at him because he wasnt saying what he wanted to say over the phone. Anyway this is extremely weird crazy behavior on his part and I've never seen him act like this. He was also taking my texts offensively and I told him not to look too much into it and he just responded "sure". Its like things have switched sides and hes confused and was thinking if I wanted to see him. So now I see what everyone was talking about. About how they start to act out for attention but im still going to continue with what I was doing and thats ignoring. Just thought I would share my first weird experience with this one.
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Lol wait until he shows up to talk to you about "feelings" in some really public place...(Talk about embarassing - and I'm not even easily embarassed.)
Or when he shows up at your house with a CD he burned for you - including a detailed description of why he picked each song and how it somehow relates to you and him.
Oh & if none of the above works...then he'll send you the most obnoxious gigantic flower arrangement - that was probably actually meant for a funeral.

So predictable. *sigh*
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JennaRose!! Wow girl good for you!!! See? He's becoming a pathetic pile of putty. That type of behavior disgust me. Just keep your strength up and keep ignoring.
He's had 3 years.... 3 freaking years to treat you like you should be treated. 3 years of putting you through hell. Think about how much time you've wasted on him. Ugh.
He'll be trying to figure you out for awhile. The text, the calls, the things Briana mention. Oh yeah, they'll pull out the big guns when they get really desperate.
I think it's because he wants to get you back to the way things were before. He needs his ego fed. Girl, you are not food to some assholes ego. You weren't put on this planet as his ego trip to make HIM feel better.
I laughed my butt off at your update btw. Kicking ass and taking names!!! Yay
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Ignore him for good. Trust me, their will be a time in your life where you will find your soulmate and LAUGH at your feelings for this a**hole. You are way too good for him, let him make someone elses life miserable!
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Thanks gingerscorp I have been kicking ass!! He still continued to text me so I got fed up this weekend again and just text him something along the lines of "..lets go our seperate ways b/c if you continue this its going to make me hate you...". Yeah maybe the hate you part is a little harsh but its really how I feel. I dont hate him as a person I just hate the things he does and how he goes about doing them. His only response came REALLY fast and it was just "Cool.". Like are you freaking serious? If it was just "cool" then why couldnt he have said that umm I dont know 3 years ago?!! Im confused by his lack of words since he's had a mouthful recently but w/e if he leaves me alone all the better for me to continue on with my life. I want to hope this is it and that i'll meet a great man tomorrow so yeahhh heres to hoping. Anyway thanks to all who replied for your encouragement.
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OK, MY EX- LIBRA CALLED THE DAY BEFORE YESTERDAY... AFTER MONTHS OF NOT SEEING OR SPEAKING TO EACH OTHER.
TURNS OUT HIS FIANC?? LEFT HIM FOR SOMEONE ELSE HE IS SUCH A DING-DONG.
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"Thanks gingerscorp I have been kicking ass!! He still continued to text me so I got fed up this weekend again and just text him something along the lines of "..lets go our seperate ways b/c if you continue this its going to make me hate you...". Yeah maybe the hate you part is a little harsh but its really how I feel. I dont hate him as a person I just hate the things he does and how he goes about doing them. His only response came REALLY fast and it was just "Cool.". Like are you freaking serious? If it was just "cool" then why couldnt he have said that umm I dont know 3 years ago?!! Im confused by his lack of words since he's had a mouthful recently but w/e if he leaves me alone all the better for me to continue on with my life. I want to hope this is it and that i'll meet a great man tomorrow so yeahhh heres to hoping. Anyway thanks to all who replied for your encouragement."

If all I got was "cool" after 3 years of chasing his ass I'd think you are allowed to use the word hate. Winking Just saying. I'm so glad you finally took a stand. Keep it up girl!! smile
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It sad really, now he is the one wanting me, and I am sure it's in the meantime kind of thing for him.
He keeps calling saying things like I miss us and he likes me very much. So, I said thank you. then he wants to know why I don't want him anymore... whats up with that.
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