Balancing For You Or Others?
This topic was created in the Libra forum by PiecesOf Pisces on Wednesday, April 9, 2008 and has 15 replies.
Hi!
So I was wondering, do Librans balance their scales (make their decisions) to actually accommodate (please) everyone else they love or do they really balance it according to their own needs? What are you as a Libran more likely to do? And how do you come about making that decision?
So I was wondering, do Librans balance their scales (make their decisions) to actually accommodate (please) everyone else they love or do they really balance it according to their own needs? What are you as a Libran more likely to do? And how do you come about making that decision?
Hi!
So I was wondering, do Librans balance their scales (make their decisions) to actually accommodate (please) everyone else they love or do they really balance it according to their own needs? What are you as a Libran more likely to do? And how do you come about making that decision?
So I was wondering, do Librans balance their scales (make their decisions) to actually accommodate (please) everyone else they love or do they really balance it according to their own needs? What are you as a Libran more likely to do? And how do you come about making that decision?
For me I am naturally a people pleaser, especially while in love. However, if I don't feel the same from my lover then my scales are unbalanced. I then move into "Deep Thought" to sort and put things into perspective--minus my feelings and emotions. By then my scales are balanced again and it is hard for "him" or people to unbalance them again.
You are misunderstanding what it means for a Libra to "balance their scales" and why it is feared. It means NATURALLY we bring balance into any situation. We are NOT balanced. We are balancing and that is very different.
It means that in any situation we bring in the otherside. If you say cat, we automatically think of all the benefits of a dog. It means we are debate and argument driven. It is often very pleasantly, thus sutble but if you watch, when you sayd yes, we will say no. Or more likely, "yes. ... what you say is very true BUT ..." or "I totally agree! Your absolutely right. Have you considered .....?"
It also means that we are sweet wonderful spring breezes. We accommodate. We please. We smile. BUT have you ever seen the damage that breeze can do when it storms? We bottle up until we erupt. We break down. We yell and cry and storm.
And that is how we balance our scales.
It means that in any situation we bring in the otherside. If you say cat, we automatically think of all the benefits of a dog. It means we are debate and argument driven. It is often very pleasantly, thus sutble but if you watch, when you sayd yes, we will say no. Or more likely, "yes. ... what you say is very true BUT ..." or "I totally agree! Your absolutely right. Have you considered .....?"
It also means that we are sweet wonderful spring breezes. We accommodate. We please. We smile. BUT have you ever seen the damage that breeze can do when it storms? We bottle up until we erupt. We break down. We yell and cry and storm.
And that is how we balance our scales.
U'C'ME- "I then move into "Deep Thought" to sort and put things into perspective--minus my feelings and emotions."
Is this only in your intimate relationships? Or do you also do this with family and friends or people in general? I see how going into "Deep Thought" can help. I do admire that quality in my libra friends. The more decisive ones at least
Virgo_Libra- But aren't Virgos picky anyway? LOL doesn't help the indecisive Libra side either!
LS- Hi! I see what you mean about bringing the other side into any situation, but I'm asking if when you are weighing out the options do you often choose more towards what you want or to please others? Hopefully I did not confuse anyone!
Is this only in your intimate relationships? Or do you also do this with family and friends or people in general? I see how going into "Deep Thought" can help. I do admire that quality in my libra friends. The more decisive ones at least
Virgo_Libra- But aren't Virgos picky anyway? LOL doesn't help the indecisive Libra side either!
LS- Hi! I see what you mean about bringing the other side into any situation, but I'm asking if when you are weighing out the options do you often choose more towards what you want or to please others? Hopefully I did not confuse anyone!
((when you are weighing out the options do you often choose more towards what you want or to please others?))
We dont do things to please others. We do things to make them feel comfortable but not at the cost of our own discomfort. Its important for us to give ourselves the exact same importance as we give to others while making a decision. If a decision cannot be made without making one of us uncomfortable, then we begin to think of the consequences of the decision we both have to go through. If we stand a better chance to handle the consequences efficiently, we make the other person benefit from our decision. If they are in a position to wait while we can gather more resources to sort out the problem, we take a selfish stand and turn the decision in our own favor and sort it out for them within the allocated time period.
We dont do things to please others. We do things to make them feel comfortable but not at the cost of our own discomfort. Its important for us to give ourselves the exact same importance as we give to others while making a decision. If a decision cannot be made without making one of us uncomfortable, then we begin to think of the consequences of the decision we both have to go through. If we stand a better chance to handle the consequences efficiently, we make the other person benefit from our decision. If they are in a position to wait while we can gather more resources to sort out the problem, we take a selfish stand and turn the decision in our own favor and sort it out for them within the allocated time period.
I wouldn't go as far to say I am a people pleaser, I am accomidating when possible and considerate of others. I think we are good at satisfying our own intentions and needs while minimizing collateral damage or even helping those around us in the process when possible.
I am the same about going into deep thought and breaking things down under stress. I like to analyze everything, even if it puts off a decision or reaction because I want to make the "right" decision or action. Right being the decision or action that I will be most comfortable with. Because it was an analyzed outcome those around us usually agree or at least understand where we are comming from. I think this is sometimes mistaken for pleasing others. I am really not intent on pleasing OR displeasing someone else....I do what I need to do and my response is usually fair and objective so it is hard to react adversly.
Even though...We do have some "shock and awe" in us. If someone is acting in an unjust or malicious way we become very aggressive and abrasive.
Were not people pleasers, were idealism seekers/enforcers.
I am the same about going into deep thought and breaking things down under stress. I like to analyze everything, even if it puts off a decision or reaction because I want to make the "right" decision or action. Right being the decision or action that I will be most comfortable with. Because it was an analyzed outcome those around us usually agree or at least understand where we are comming from. I think this is sometimes mistaken for pleasing others. I am really not intent on pleasing OR displeasing someone else....I do what I need to do and my response is usually fair and objective so it is hard to react adversly.
Even though...We do have some "shock and awe" in us. If someone is acting in an unjust or malicious way we become very aggressive and abrasive.
Were not people pleasers, were idealism seekers/enforcers.
***..I try to pick out a flavor of ice cream.... It takes me about an hour! They're sooo many good ones now. I'm impressed by the folks that walk on by my, get what they want and leave! ***
omigod! same here virgo libra. lol
i take a loong time to decide on which to choose all the time. on everything...the more choices i hv, the harder it is for me....n the longer i take to decide on which. i always wish i could decide as easily & instantly as every1 else *sigh*
omigod! same here virgo libra. lol
i take a loong time to decide on which to choose all the time. on everything...the more choices i hv, the harder it is for me....n the longer i take to decide on which. i always wish i could decide as easily & instantly as every1 else *sigh*
... & having a Libra bf doesn help.lol
As with all things, it depends.
BTW, I knew what you meant just saying the way we balance is very different to what your question was implying.
PiecesOf Pisces, I'm a little quicker with putting things in perspective in normal friendships or business matters! In relationships or family matters it take a couple days. My rule is 2-3 days. Anything over that, I'm getting in 2 deep.
Wow...I am SORRY I've been out, things got a little hectic in the real world!!
Thank you for your replies guys!!
thelibran: "We do things to make them feel comfortable but not at the cost of our own discomfort"... that is dead on. I have seen this with many of my Libran friends as well. I like the way you explained it.
nicodemus: "Were not people pleasers, were idealism seekers/enforcers." but wouldn't the idealism come from a selfish stand point? I mean it IS your idealism not everyone elses.
applemint_fv:"the more choices i hv, the harder it is for me....n the longer i take to decide on which."... this is quite a remark b/c I find my younger Libra friends can't even decide at all when this happens. Usually, they give up deciding anything and turn it on someone else.
LS: Point understood!
U`C`ME: "I'm a little quicker with putting things in perspective in normal friendships or business matters! In relationships or family matters it take a couple days. My rule is 2-3 days. Anything over that, I'm getting in 2 deep."
So can we agree that when it comes to emotional decisions Librans, have a tougher time deciding in favor of themselves or their partner/family? THIS is where my primary question is more pointing towards.
latinaindia: "Librans do it for themselves, but always make it seem like they are doing it for others"
The statement above is EXACTLY why I asked the primary question. I believe that they DO do what is best for themselves but in a diplomatic way so it doesn't affect others and messes up the friendship/relationship. It's almost geniusly deceiving really LOL Libras, are you working your magic on us as we speak!? j/k
Thank you for your replies guys!!
thelibran: "We do things to make them feel comfortable but not at the cost of our own discomfort"... that is dead on. I have seen this with many of my Libran friends as well. I like the way you explained it.
nicodemus: "Were not people pleasers, were idealism seekers/enforcers." but wouldn't the idealism come from a selfish stand point? I mean it IS your idealism not everyone elses.
applemint_fv:"the more choices i hv, the harder it is for me....n the longer i take to decide on which."... this is quite a remark b/c I find my younger Libra friends can't even decide at all when this happens. Usually, they give up deciding anything and turn it on someone else.
LS: Point understood!
U`C`ME: "I'm a little quicker with putting things in perspective in normal friendships or business matters! In relationships or family matters it take a couple days. My rule is 2-3 days. Anything over that, I'm getting in 2 deep."
So can we agree that when it comes to emotional decisions Librans, have a tougher time deciding in favor of themselves or their partner/family? THIS is where my primary question is more pointing towards.
latinaindia: "Librans do it for themselves, but always make it seem like they are doing it for others"
The statement above is EXACTLY why I asked the primary question. I believe that they DO do what is best for themselves but in a diplomatic way so it doesn't affect others and messes up the friendship/relationship. It's almost geniusly deceiving really LOL Libras, are you working your magic on us as we speak!? j/k
*** applemint_fv:"the more choices i hv, the harder it is for me....n the longer i take to decide on which."... this is quite a remark b/c I find my younger Libra friends can't even decide at all when this happens. Usually, they give up deciding anything and turn it on someone else.
i can't decide most of the time too.sometimes i'd just decide not to decide
BTW about the balancing act; i do it for ME,myself. not to please others
i can't decide most of the time too.sometimes i'd just decide not to decideBTW about the balancing act; i do it for ME,myself. not to please others
((I believe that they DO do what is best for themselves but in a diplomatic way so it doesn't affect others and messes up the friendship/relationship. It's almost geniusly deceiving really LOL))
There is a more simple logic behind these actions which are perceived incorrectly by other signs. None of us can make another person feel better when we ourselves are not feeling better. I cannot genuinely make a person feel happy when me myself is not happy. So our priority should be always in making ourselves comfortable to a level where we can genuinely make others happy without making it look like a sacrifice. We dont do sacrifices in the traditional fashion where we allow ourselves to die while in the process of helping others. Our idea of sacrifice is stable and concrete at all times. We help others whenever possible. We dont do things that might endanger our own existence. These are the situations where some zodiac signs makes us feel helpless and overly emotional by displaying their helplessness. We get a feeling that to help them out of their misery, we need to kill ourselves and even then its not sure that they can actually be saved.
There is a more simple logic behind these actions which are perceived incorrectly by other signs. None of us can make another person feel better when we ourselves are not feeling better. I cannot genuinely make a person feel happy when me myself is not happy. So our priority should be always in making ourselves comfortable to a level where we can genuinely make others happy without making it look like a sacrifice. We dont do sacrifices in the traditional fashion where we allow ourselves to die while in the process of helping others. Our idea of sacrifice is stable and concrete at all times. We help others whenever possible. We dont do things that might endanger our own existence. These are the situations where some zodiac signs makes us feel helpless and overly emotional by displaying their helplessness. We get a feeling that to help them out of their misery, we need to kill ourselves and even then its not sure that they can actually be saved.
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