Breakup

This topic was created in the Libra forum by Dpndle on Wednesday, July 12, 2017 and has 18 replies.
So I was with my boyfriend for a year and three months. We moved in together at three months of dating. Throughout our relationship he struggled with depression but was always able to bounce back. We fought frequently but always worked through our problems. We loved each other very much and even talked about getting engaged soon. On June 18 we got into an argument about his best friend and it pushed him to try and commit suicide. I had to call his mom to come get him and the next day he broke up with me through a snap chat text because he said our relationship was too toxic. During our relationship he had been using self harm cutting him self anytime he would become too overwhelmed or stressed out. He tells me that he needs to focus on himself to get better before he can get better and that he would like to remain friends, but we also are stuck in a lease until next July and have to try and live in separate rooms as roommates. Is this relationship worth fighting for? He texts me and is trying to be friends and I just need some advice. At first we tried to be friends but now things have gotten worse he just always seems to be angry with me like I am his trigger.
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So I was with my boyfriend who is a libra his birthday is October 15. We were in a serious relationship for a year and three months. We moved in together at three months of dating. Throughout our relationship he struggled with depression but was always able to bounce back. We fought frequently but always worked through our problems. We loved each other very much and even talked about getting engaged soon. On June 18 we got into an argument about his best friend and it pushed him to try and commit suicide. I had to call his mom to come get him and the next day he broke up with me through a snap chat text because he said our relationship was too toxic. During our relationship he had been using self harm cutting him self anytime he would become too overwhelmed or stressed out. He tells me that he needs to focus on himself to get better before he can get better and that he would like to remain friends, but we also are stuck in a lease until next July and have to try and live in separate rooms as roommates. Is this relationship worth fighting for? He texts me and is trying to be friends and I just need some advice. At first we tried to be friends but now things have gotten worse he just always seems to be angry with me like I am his trigger.
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I am a Capricorn and he is a libra. I know this is a difficult relationship I told him this in the beginning he said he wanted to ask me to get married to him. We talked about having kids. We were best friends. Now it's like I never existed.
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That's what he suggested but I can't find a roommate he feels like I am not trying hard enough to find one. He said he will pay as long as he has to but he plans on canceling the bills because he thinks I'm going to do something to screw him over. We aren't in speaking terms because I bought him a car during the relationship and asked for it back after he said he was going to leave me in the lease which caused him to be very angry with me.
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Posted by Dpndle
That's what he suggested but I can't find a roommate he feels like I am not trying hard enough to find one. He said he will pay as long as he has to but he plans on canceling the bills because he thinks I'm going to do something to screw him over. We aren't in speaking terms because I bought him a car during the relationship and asked for it back after he said he was going to leave me in the lease which caused him to be very angry with me.
Who's name car is in?

And WHY did you buy HIM a car on a first place?
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The car is in his moms name I gave him 1,000 dollars as a loan but as the relationship progressed I told him not to worry about it. We're both legally bound to the lease since we renewed it so I'm trying to find a roommate. He's only paying until I find one.
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Did you just seriously ask if this relationship is worth fighting for? This guy is an asshole and making your life impossible and you still want to go back? How stupid can women be?
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Posted by Dpndle
So I was with my boyfriend for a year and three months. We moved in together at three months of dating. Throughout our relationship he struggled with depression but was always able to bounce back. We fought frequently but always worked through our problems. We loved each other very much and even talked about getting engaged soon. On June 18 we got into an argument about his best friend and it pushed him to try and commit suicide. I had to call his mom to come get him and the next day he broke up with me through a snap chat text because he said our relationship was too toxic. During our relationship he had been using self harm cutting him self anytime he would become too overwhelmed or stressed out. He tells me that he needs to focus on himself to get better before he can get better and that he would like to remain friends, but we also are stuck in a lease until next July and have to try and live in separate rooms as roommates. Is this relationship worth fighting for? He texts me and is trying to be friends and I just need some advice. At first we tried to be friends but now things have gotten worse he just always seems to be angry with me like I am his trigger.


Yeah unfortunately the only real move here is for one of you to move out. If you're in the states, put an ad on Craiglist to find a replacement housemate. A lot of people wind up finding housemates there (just be sure to meet and vet them first).

As for the car, you can't really ask for the car back since it's not in your name. Since you loaned him the money, it's reasonable to ask for the loan back, but obviously this is easier said than done. In the future unless you are married and tied to the person financially, think twice before making such a grand financial gesture.

Also the unfortunate truth is, you are a trigger. While that does not mean you are the cause/root of his depression, he is now associating you with his condition. Is it fair? No, but clearly this guy has issues that are too deep for you to fix. He needs to get professional help. By being with him and not insisting that he get help, you've only been enabling is condition.

Big red flag should have been when he started cutting himself. This is not the type of behavior you simply "work through" with love and understanding as a couple. At that point he definitely needed serious professionalyhelp. I know it sounds harsh, but by his own admission, he views you as a catalyst for his behavior. Granted he's an adult and needs to own up to his own actions, but he's correct in that this relationship is now toxic.
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Posted by StarSky
Did you just seriously ask if this relationship is worth fighting for? This guy is an asshole and making your life impossible and you still want to go back? How stupid can women be?
Get off of your self-righteous high horse. How arrogant, judgemental, and insensitive YOU can be! Or was that comment meant to make you look like a more enlightened member of your gender? So intolerant!
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Posted by Dpndle
The car is in his moms name I gave him 1,000 dollars as a loan but as the relationship progressed I told him not to worry about it. We're both legally bound to the lease since we renewed it so I'm trying to find a roommate. He's only paying until I find one.
So car was $ 1000? Or he paid some as well? If he did it doesn't mean you bought him a car...I suppose you misinformed us here. Right?
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Posted by StarSky
Did you just seriously ask if this relationship is worth fighting for? This guy is an asshole and making your life impossible and you still want to go back? How stupid can women be?
I am sure it's impossible to evaluate!

Btw men can be even more stupid when they see pretty face with form ass. And how many men can't see when their sex drive is jerked in a right way? So...just shut it!
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OP, he has a mental illness that he must learn to cope with the rest of his life. It's chemical, something not fully in his control - so it's not something to reason through or love away. *hugs* There is no "boucing back," just many phases and him dealing with them how he knows how in any given moment.

Think you know what to do. The answer is in your heart. He is being honest with you, and at this point, all that is left is for you to accept it because he has made his choice. There is no "fighting" for your relationship because it takes two to want to make it work. There is no dishonor in saying that you were the best you could be in the relationship, and that some things are just bigger than the two of you, and that it's in your best interest (and his) to move on. ❤
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This guy is bad news.... Eventually you will see this.
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Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by StarSky
Did you just seriously ask if this relationship is worth fighting for? This guy is an asshole and making your life impossible and you still want to go back? How stupid can women be?
Get off of your self-righteous high horse. How arrogant, judgemental, and insensitive YOU can be! Or was that comment meant to make you look like a more enlightened member of your gender? So intolerant!
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Such a "stupid woman" comeback. You just proved their point beautifully. Good job.
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A cap woman struggling with such an "old fashioned" outlook on this shit. This is nothing new.

Wake up and move along. The fact that you want to salvage such a trainwreck says a lot about you and your self esteem. It's not easy, but you trying to force something so terrible to work says your self esteem is garbage.
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Posted by rockyroadicecream
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by StarSky
Did you just seriously ask if this relationship is worth fighting for? This guy is an asshole and making your life impossible and you still want to go back? How stupid can women be?
Get off of your self-righteous high horse. How arrogant, judgemental, and insensitive YOU can be! Or was that comment meant to make you look like a more enlightened member of your gender? So intolerant!
Such a "stupid woman" comeback. You just proved their point beautifully. Good job.
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Posted by StarSky
Did you just seriously ask if this relationship is worth fighting for? This guy is an asshole and making your life impossible and you still want to go back? How stupid can women be?
If he is suicidal, and cutting himself he is mentally-ill, how is that being an asshole?
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OP many astrologers predict marriage or a very long term relationship between a Libra and a Capricorn. One of the reasons is because Libras born before October 14th in Eastern astrology are considered Virgos. I believe there's a Vedic astrology board here. In eastern astrology the signs go back 24 degrees. So again if you are born between September 14th - October 14 eastern astrology considers you a Virgo.

And Virgos and Capricorn are extremely compatible. I was with the cat for 10 years and everyday was Christmas and every night was new Years Eve and he is still pursuing. I tell you I really get where you are coming from by wanting it to work with a Capricorn because they are just simply amazing.

However, this man sounds like he is mentally unstable, imbalanced and suffering from grave emotional and mental disorders that will require an enormous amount of therapeutic intervention before he can even almost be ready to be in a relationship.

I think you should just try and be a distant friend but usually Capricorn and Libras when they love each other they make it work.
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