Can I fix it or is it too late?
This topic was created in the Libra forum by Qdoll on Saturday, April 5, 2014 and has 15 replies.
Astrology aside, your(and his) priorities should be for your unborn child. Anything else is a very distant second.
You don't know this guy. If you want the baby then have the baby but don't expect him to stick around for the responsibilities that come with a family.
You can put him on child support if you need to but truth be told even putting him on child support will not make him want to be a father/parent the baby.
Your emotional, your nesting, your hoping, I get it but you made a brutal mistake by allowing yourself to get pregnant by a guy you hardly know so now you have to take full responsibility for your actions.
Time to be a WOMAN and woman up, you got pregnant, you most likely will parent this child alone, you need to get ready, get as prepared as you can.
Leave him alone, worry about you and your child, the rest is a bunch of drama and bullshit you don't need to send yourself through, your baby doesn't need to feel this kind of stress from you.
Have you thought about other options? Adoption? Is he willing to forgo his parental rights? Do you want to keep the baby? If you keep the baby, how will you support the baby? Do you have support? This is what you need to be worried about MORE.
You can put him on child support if you need to but truth be told even putting him on child support will not make him want to be a father/parent the baby.
Your emotional, your nesting, your hoping, I get it but you made a brutal mistake by allowing yourself to get pregnant by a guy you hardly know so now you have to take full responsibility for your actions.
Time to be a WOMAN and woman up, you got pregnant, you most likely will parent this child alone, you need to get ready, get as prepared as you can.
Leave him alone, worry about you and your child, the rest is a bunch of drama and bullshit you don't need to send yourself through, your baby doesn't need to feel this kind of stress from you.
Have you thought about other options? Adoption? Is he willing to forgo his parental rights? Do you want to keep the baby? If you keep the baby, how will you support the baby? Do you have support? This is what you need to be worried about MORE.
You're
Very true and i tried to tell him that but he acted completely childish. And he won't respond to me. I guess I should give him his space and time to think it through.
Posted by tiki33
You don't know this guy. If you want the baby then have the baby but don't expect him to stick around for the responsibilities that come with a family.
You can put him on child support if you need to but truth be told even putting him on child support will not make him want to be a father/parent the baby.
Your emotional, your nesting, your hoping, I get it but you made a brutal mistake by allowing yourself to get pregnant by a guy you hardly know so now you have to take full responsibility for your actions.
Time to be a WOMAN and woman up, you got pregnant, you most likely will parent this child alone, you need to get ready, get as prepared as you can.
Leave him alone, worry about you and your child, the rest is a bunch of drama and bullshit you don't need to send yourself through, your baby doesn't need to feel this kind of stress from you.
Have you thought about other options? Adoption? Is he willing to forgo his parental rights? Do you want to keep the baby? If you keep the baby, how will you support the baby? Do you have support? This is what you need to be worried about MORE.
That's why I left. He was just stringing me along. I do have plenty of support from friends and family without him. I just have to put my emotions aside and just worry about this baby. Thank you for your advice. It's all fresh and new to me so dealing is not easy but I will be alright in time. He misses out it's his lost. He did however promised he would be there for the baby but so far by him ignoring me I'm having my doubts.
He most likely will not keep that promise, this is where you DECIDE you're going to do this with or without him and do it.
There is a glimmer of hope that he will be there but realistically the statistics are not in your favor but if you truly want to keep the baby then do it.
Just know that your friends and family may not be there for you the way you think and hope they will because it's a big responsibility and it's your life and your baby.
I suggest you sit down and work out how your family and friends will be there for you. Don't assume they will be there the way you envision it. It's important that you know what kind of support you're going to have ahead of time so you can prepare.
Raising a baby/kid for 18 plus years is very difficult financially etc, especially as a single parent.
There is a glimmer of hope that he will be there but realistically the statistics are not in your favor but if you truly want to keep the baby then do it.
Just know that your friends and family may not be there for you the way you think and hope they will because it's a big responsibility and it's your life and your baby.
I suggest you sit down and work out how your family and friends will be there for you. Don't assume they will be there the way you envision it. It's important that you know what kind of support you're going to have ahead of time so you can prepare.
Raising a baby/kid for 18 plus years is very difficult financially etc, especially as a single parent.
Posted by SugarfootPosted by tiki33
Time to be a WOMAN and woman up, you got pregnant, you most likely will parent this child alone, you need to get ready, get as prepared as you can.
Leave him alone, worry about you and your child, the rest is a bunch of drama and bullshit you don't need to send yourself through, your baby doesn't need to feel this kind of stress from you.
Have you thought about other options? Adoption? Is he willing to forgo his parental rights? Do you want to keep the baby? If you keep the baby, how will you support the baby? Do you have support? This is what you need to be worried about MORE.
100% . Absolutely.
You're going to be stressed anyway. But, you need to stop worrying about what he's going to do. You can't control him. You can't control how he thinks or feels about the situation. You can only control yourself and what you do. So focus on you. There is peace to be found in that. Let him do whatever the fuck he's gonna do. If he wants to be a little toddler about things and run away, let him run. You're better off without him if that's how he's gonna be.
And, a word to the wise. If you have the baby, make sure your name is the only one on the birth certificate. That way you have sole custody and he can't pull any power moves against you later.click to expand
If he doesn't man up and come around and put our differences aside then that's exactly what I'm going to do. In done with the relationship we just need to work out something for the baby. I'm not longer worried about our relationship I'm mainly worried about the baby if in the future things change then we will cross that bridge. My main concern now is this child. I didn't get myself pregnant. We are both at fault in this situation.
Posted by Redbull
There are consequences for what is done. Sometimes harsh. That said, this is on him just as much as its on you. I understand the "give him time" sentiment but hey, this is his situation too. My thing is dont get into such a situation if you dont want the consequences. So since he did, thats on him. Caution ftw.
Exactly he's running from his responsibilities. He's just thinking about himself right now. But as I said above I'll give him time. We all make mistakes sometimes when we are mad. If he's not willing to forgive me for that little mistake then he's not mature at all.
Thank you all for the advice. Helped me a bit.
Signed Up: Mar 30, 2012
Comments: 1243 · Posts: 16617 · Topics: 170
Comments: 1243 · Posts: 16617 · Topics: 170
Wait wait wait wait.
You were willing to get an abortion because it meant he would stay with you?
SERIOUSLY?
The dude's a total tool, showing insane immaturity, and the only thing keeping him around is that he knocked you up. If there was no baby, this would have happened eventually. Then where would you be? Here, crying about some immature asshat who doesn't respect you.
Why are you trying to make it up to him? Get some self respect, chica. You deserve better. And if you're keeping this kid, you owe it to that kid to make a better choice for both of you. Women who keep themselves in a shitty relationship that will clearly have negative consequences on the kid are insanely selfish and are pieces of shit, tbh. That child comes first, not your vajayjay inklings. It's something to think about if that kid is still in play here.
That aside, the huge question is WHY are you so hell bent on keeping a guy around who cheated and then chose her over you??
You were willing to get an abortion because it meant he would stay with you?
SERIOUSLY?
The dude's a total tool, showing insane immaturity, and the only thing keeping him around is that he knocked you up. If there was no baby, this would have happened eventually. Then where would you be? Here, crying about some immature asshat who doesn't respect you.
Why are you trying to make it up to him? Get some self respect, chica. You deserve better. And if you're keeping this kid, you owe it to that kid to make a better choice for both of you. Women who keep themselves in a shitty relationship that will clearly have negative consequences on the kid are insanely selfish and are pieces of shit, tbh. That child comes first, not your vajayjay inklings. It's something to think about if that kid is still in play here.
That aside, the huge question is WHY are you so hell bent on keeping a guy around who cheated and then chose her over you??
Posted by Qdoll
I'm a Taurus...I met this libra guy in November things got serious between us quickly. So quick I ended up pregnant two months later.
Dayum..Dayum..Dayum (in my Florida Evans voice). Why in this day and age is getting pregnant an accident???? and especially if you hardly know this person. Why are you having unprotected sex anyway? So basically you got pregnant on purpose to hold on to this azzwipe? Really? Really?. Girl, gather your faculties and keep it moving. You made this bed, so now you have to lie in it. Just be more responsible in taking care of this innocent baby. And remember this... the next time you get with a guy you hardly know, there's other things that you can catch that's a whole lot worse than this baby, so please use protection. I'm Sorry, that's the only positive advice I can offer you at this time.
Posted by LIb4LifePosted by Qdoll
I'm a Taurus...I met this libra guy in November things got serious between us quickly. So quick I ended up pregnant two months later.
Dayum..Dayum..Dayum (in my Florida Evans voice). Why in this day and age is getting pregnant an accident???? and especially if you hardly know this person. Why are you having unprotected sex anyway? So basically you got pregnant on purpose to hold on to this azzwipe? Really? Really?. Girl, gather your faculties and keep it moving. You made this bed, so now you have to lie in it. Just be more responsible in taking care of this innocent baby. And remember this... the next time you get with a guy you hardly know, there's other things that you can catch that's a whole lot worse than this baby, so please use protection. I'm Sorry, that's the only positive advice I can offer you at this time.click to expand
Wait wait wait you got it all wrong I didn't get pregnant to keep him around. It was an planned pregnancy. This was the first and last time I ever mad a mistake like this with a guy. I got caught up and learned my lesson. He's immature and I'm done with him. I realized that now. He actually did contact me to so called check up on me i told him not to check up on me that I'll keep him posted on the baby.
Unplanned*
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Wait wait wait wait.
You were willing to get an abortion because it meant he would stay with you?
SERIOUSLY?
The dude's a total tool, showing insane immaturity, and the only thing keeping him around is that he knocked you up. If there was no baby, this would have happened eventually. Then where would you be? Here, crying about some immature asshat who doesn't respect you.
Why are you trying to make it up to him? Get some self respect, chica. You deserve better. And if you're keeping this kid, you owe it to that kid to make a better choice for both of you. Women who keep themselves in a shitty relationship that will clearly have negative consequences on the kid are insanely selfish and are pieces of shit, tbh. That child comes first, not your vajayjay inklings. It's something to think about if that kid is still in play here.
That aside, the huge question is WHY are you so hell bent on keeping a guy around who cheated and then chose her over you??
I thought about it but knew either way he would leave so I kept telling him no. I decided to let go I'm not even going to try.
Dayum..Dayum..Dayum (in my Florida Evans voice). Why in this day and age is getting pregnant an accident???? and especially if you hardly know this person. Why are you having unprotected sex anyway? So basically you got pregnant on purpose to hold on to this azzwipe? Really? Really?. Girl, gather your faculties and keep it moving. You made this bed, so now you have to lie in it. Just be more responsible in taking care of this innocent baby. And remember this... the next time you get with a guy you hardly know, there's other things that you can catch that's a whole lot worse than this baby, so please use protection. I'm Sorry, that's the only positive advice I can offer you at this time.
*****************************************************************************************************
Wait wait wait you got it all wrong I didn't get pregnant to keep him around. It was an planned pregnancy. This was the first and last time I ever mad a mistake like this with a guy. I got caught up and learned my lesson. He's immature and I'm done with him. I realized that now. He actually did contact me to so called check up on me i told him not to check up on me that I'll keep him posted on the baby.
So you actually planned this pregnancy within two months of dating this guy?? Well, yes, if he wants to be a part of his child's life, by all means allow him. Check him out good first to make sure he's FATHER material and not DADDY duty.
*****************************************************************************************************
Wait wait wait you got it all wrong I didn't get pregnant to keep him around. It was an planned pregnancy. This was the first and last time I ever mad a mistake like this with a guy. I got caught up and learned my lesson. He's immature and I'm done with him. I realized that now. He actually did contact me to so called check up on me i told him not to check up on me that I'll keep him posted on the baby.
So you actually planned this pregnancy within two months of dating this guy?? Well, yes, if he wants to be a part of his child's life, by all means allow him. Check him out good first to make sure he's FATHER material and not DADDY duty.
Posted by LIb4Life
Dayum..Dayum..Dayum (in my Florida Evans voice). Why in this day and age is getting pregnant an accident???? and especially if you hardly know this person. Why are you having unprotected sex anyway? So basically you got pregnant on purpose to hold on to this azzwipe? Really? Really?. Girl, gather your faculties and keep it moving. You made this bed, so now you have to lie in it. Just be more responsible in taking care of this innocent baby. And remember this... the next time you get with a guy you hardly know, there's other things that you can catch that's a whole lot worse than this baby, so please use protection. I'm Sorry, that's the only positive advice I can offer you at this time.
*****************************************************************************************************
Wait wait wait you got it all wrong I didn't get pregnant to keep him around. It was an planned pregnancy. This was the first and last time I ever mad a mistake like this with a guy. I got caught up and learned my lesson. He's immature and I'm done with him. I realized that now. He actually did contact me to so called check up on me i told him not to check up on me that I'll keep him posted on the baby.
So you actually planned this pregnancy within two months of dating this guy?? Well, yes, if he wants to be a part of his child's life, by all means allow him. Check him out good first to make sure he's FATHER material and not DADDY duty.
No I didn't plan this. I thought I couldn't have kids :/ turns out I can smh. He lied saying we would both get through this then changed his mind later on and his way of distracting himself was to talk to another girl. I don't even want to fix us anymore. Do I miss him of course but I deserve better and it's all about the baby now. I'm already 4 months there's no way in hell I'm getting an abortion. He changed his mind when it was too late. And I wouldn't keep him out of the baby's life if he wants to be there but as you said make sure he's father material and not daddy duty. If anything he'll be put on child support with the quickness.
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