Confused about libra man?

This topic was created in the Libra forum by psugirl on Sunday, October 27, 2013 and has 37 replies.
I met this libra guy at my friends party, at that time he had told my friend he was in breaking up stage with his gf that he lives with bc he didn't have any feelings for her. Then we met at this party and since then we started talking. He broke up with his gf and took me on a date, he wanted to kiss me but I didn't let him cuZ I didn't want to take things so fast, our first kiss was after 2 weeks of meeting each other. I met his important friends and people in his life. He would text me and call me everyday and ask to hang out and was just uh so charming! I still felt it was wrong to be seeing him cuz he still lives with his gf....so his bday was last weekend and I found out thru fb that he got back in relationship with his ex...He texted me casual goodmorning next day and I told him he should be texting that to his girl....at first he pretended he didn't know what i was talking about then i told him fb is quick to tell things...he was like yeah well i owe her a chance i guess, she tries really hard.. and i told him well that means there can only be a friendship between us...and he was like im sorry if i offended u, i still want to talk to usmile ur a great girlsmile i told him that i wasnt offended and was ok to keep friendship but i wasn't responding to him as much as i used to and he started texting my friend, asking about me, telling her that he doesn't know what to do he's began to develop feelings for me and he feels like an ass for this whole thing and this situation that he's in and he doesn't know what to do that he's really interested in me....he started calling me and we were talking again, i made it clear to him it will only be a friendship between us, so he seemed like he sort of agreed but was still flirty w me... he told me he likes me a lot and that there's nothing between him n his gf and that his life is changing alot right now and he needs to make important decisions...he left for work to another state, and asked me to visit him, we met halfway between each other he wanted to kiss me but i didnt let him i told me we're only friends and i hope he respects it...we spent really fun night out at a few lounges just talking and laughing and he told me he doesn't see there can be a friendship between us because there's just too much chemistry between us, he kept asking me if i like him, and i asked him why would he want to know that...he said he needs to make a decision and i told him that i do...but it doesnt mean anything. he said yes it does bec
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because there's just too much chemistry between us, he kept asking me if i like him, and i asked him why would he want to know that...he said he needs to make a decision and i told him that i do...but it doesnt mean anything. he said yes it does because he likes me...so we spent a night at a hotel where he's staying for his work, but we slept in two seperate beds, i didn't let him to even kiss me...and today after i got home, i sent him a text saying: thanks for the night, i had funWinking i hope i didn't offend you for the way i kept things between us and i hope u understand me, bc ur in a relationship with another girl... he texted me back: was funsmile i understandWinking no worriessmile) we will talksmile what did he mean by that? im sincerely confused...what should i do?
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seems like he wasn't happy with just friends thing, but I gave him no other choice...I don't know what I'm doing either, I'm madly attracted to the guy but I wouldn't have an affair with him since he's back with his ex but wants to keep me in his life...and he told me we can't just be friends...I'm confused why would he say he wants to be friends, but then tell me he likes me a lot and is back with his ex whom he lives with...wth
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Well I'm respectable woman, I didn't let anything happen between us physically...and by us kissing when he had broken up with her, I don't see anything wrong...because I thought he wouldn't get back with her...I mean of course nothing will happen between us until he breaks it off with her or else we'll remain friends...but if he doesn't make that decision, I'm confused to whether I should cut him off completely or still remain friends, but it's just hard because we both like each other...
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Well the thing is he doesn't love her, so i can understand he lives with her out of convenience.... I'm just lost as to what i should be doing, should i continue talking to him or cut him out until he makes a decision? Should i even confront him about it? Its not like im stealing someones man, he's the one chasing after me...
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He dumped her but she begged him to get back together...and he did to 'give her a chance' bc she's trying really hard..
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And he introduced me to his friends, they all know what's going on...she might know too....
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I totally agree with you, I think that's exactly what I'll tell him... He thought he would be a smartass by asking to remain friends and actually thinking we will be more than that... He didnt tell me that, out mutual friend did, he told that to her before we even met each other...he told her he doesn't have any feelings for her n doesn't see future w her but he's with her bc she's madly in love with him...
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You need to set the boundaries. I'd tell him to contact me AFTER his problems have been handled. It will not be easy for you but there won't be any second guessing on your part. Either he'll straighten his crap out in order to be with you, or he won't. Simple as that. Sounds like he's either playing you or he's the type that goes directly into another relationship before ending the first one in order to not be alone.
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No one is holding a gun to his head...he is doing exactly what/who he wants to do. He wants a side dish to go with his entree, and if he could get you to spend a night in a hotel room with him-physical intimacy or not- and convince you that he's somehow being forced to keep his girlfriend, he's thinking you're a safe bet. Even if you can get him to break up with her and date you, why would you even want a man who's willing to go this far with another girl while in a relationship? He's not even worth the time of day, friendship, relationship or otherwise.
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lol, you're the sidepiece when his girlfriend ditches him again.
The one waiting in the wings.
His back up plan.
He's stringing you along and you shouldn't give this douche the time of day.
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Posted by psugirl
Well the thing is he doesn't love her, so i can understand he lives with her out of convenience.... I'm just lost as to what i should be doing, should i continue talking to him or cut him out until he makes a decision? Should i even confront him about it? Its not like im stealing someones man, he's the one chasing after me...


OMFG!! If I got a dime for every time the other woman told me that the douche they are interested in isn't happy with his gf/wife, I'd be a veryyyyyy rich woman!! No cheater ever says good things about their wife or gf. Imagine what it would look like if he said, "my live-in girlfriend is beautiful and amazing just the way she is, but I feel like being with you." You'd be like, "WTF? Why are you coming to me then?!" A woman loves it when a man she is interested in condemns all other women and tells her that she is his everything. LOL.
He needs to leave his girlfriend for his own reasons (unhappy or whatever), not because you have given him an ultimatum. That is stealing someone's man. lol. Have you ever thought about what would happen once he is done with you? I mean he sounds like a guy who replaces his girlfriend with other girls. It seems what he does with his current gf will be your fate if he becomes bored of you.
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LOL! That's what I'm saying Tiz. I can't believe a lying cheat is perceived as honest by her.
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Posted by tiziani
The other thing is spending a night in a hotel with him in separate beds? Don't try and control someone by using sex as a weapon. You'll regret it when that's all he perceives as your value and treats you as such.



Im not saying she's lying but, separate beds in a HOTEL, I don't believe that, sorry, but no disrespect, but libras are like freaking kids when it comes to a shiny new toy, and they will play with it if u let them, the fact that he knows how to play with u is amazing because he got you to break your boundaries, ain't no woman gonna spend the night in a hotel with a man that isn't hers, especially knowing u want the man, girl he put in the booty cycle and he is gonna keep u there cause u basically fail about what your worth is, and libras do it so smooth too, to the point you weren't even thinking what he was doing, damn that libra charm is a motherf*****.
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".....he told her he doesn't have any feelings for her n doesn't see future w her but he's with her bc she's madly in love with him......"

Please don't tell me you believe in this bullshit?? He is a player and a manipulator, run!
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Ehh should of known everyone will missinterpret it, no I did not have any affair with hin, and after I found he got back with his gf, I didnt let him kiss me, I told hin we can only be friends and he might have thought differently...he tried to kiss me that night we met, but I said no. And yes we slept in two separate beds where he's staying bc his roommate is away. (Anyway why would I ask people for an honest opinion and lie the details?) lol. Second thing is he wasn't telling this stuff that he doesn't wanna be w his gf to me but to our mutual friend and it was before i even met the guy. He broke up with her, but still lived w her and now they're back in relationship. There was nothing intimate between us, so why do I get bashed by everyone for doing something wrong? Me and him kissing when he wasnt in relationship is not cheating. I do not intend to steal him, we're just friends. It's up to him...not me.
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it's a really weird situation for me and I don't know what to do...should I continue being friends with him or ignore him and cut him off completely? I mean we have mutual friends too...so it's a tough thing to decide what to do...
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Cut him off completely. He's only "friends" because he sees you as a potential sex option.
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Posted by tiziani
Yep, I'm not here to make anyone feel bad about lying or cheating. But blatant figments of someone's imagination is pushing it. In what world does anyone know a conversation that goes like this?
Him:"I'm dumping you"
Her:"No, please let's get back together. Please. I'm begging you."
Him:"I'll give you a chance because you're trying really hard."

Any woman I know would, at bare minimum leave without saying a word or at most attempt to rip someone's balls off.




LMAO!!! Literally, I laughed my butt off!!
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All I'm saying is that you are dealing with an immature libra male. Go down the libra forum and check out any posters that talk about ex gf/current gf vs. new love interest. It's all over the board. Going by the gist of those posters, I'd say that he'll:
A) String you along for as long as you can be strung along by feeding you lies like "I really like you", "Give me some time and I'll break up with her", or "I broke up with her so let's get together" but then he'll go right behind your back and get back with her. She will remain in the picture. I guarantee you that. Libras and their incessant need for keeping exes around, and I mean immediate exes indefinitely.
B) Try FWB sort of arrangement with you if he can charm you enough
C) Make you the other woman, if you decide to succumb to his advances, which you haven't done so far going by your OP
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Posted by psugirl
Ehh should of known everyone will missinterpret it, no I did not have any affair with hin, and after I found he got back with his gf, I didnt let him kiss me, I told hin we can only be friends and he might have thought differently...he tried to kiss me that night we met, but I said no. And yes we slept in two separate beds where he's staying bc his roommate is away. (Anyway why would I ask people for an honest opinion and lie the details?) lol. Second thing is he wasn't telling this stuff that he doesn't wanna be w his gf to me but to our mutual friend and it was before i even met the guy. He broke up with her, but still lived w her and now they're back in relationship. There was nothing intimate between us, so why do I get bashed by everyone for doing something wrong? Me and him kissing when he wasnt in relationship is not cheating. I do not intend to steal him, we're just friends. It's up to him...not me.


i don't think you're lying, but you're really arguing semantics here. Everyone understood that you didn't "technically" have an affair, and that he told all of that to another person. But you did stay in his hotel room with him, and he is in a relationship, right? He's in a relationship with his girlfriend, no matter what he told you or his friends. He tried to kiss you while in said relationship, and not letting him doesn't mean carrying on with the emotional intimacy like you two have is okay.
i'm sure everyone has come off harsh here but that's because this story is no different than any other "i like him but he has a girlfriend/wife" story, including the question of whether or not you should be friends with him. I think you already have a good idea of what will happen if you try to "stay friends." I'd say be cordial if you're out in a group setting together and cut him out beyond that.
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Thanks guys! I just wanted to make it clear so it doesnt seem I'm changing something, its just weird situation. I think too that friendship isn't working out w this guy...with any in general, women n men can't be friends. And to me its a proof. I like him to some extent but It's not like I'm in love with him. So for me no loss, i didn't pursue him or tried to manipualate him to leave her I could of if I wanted to but Im not that kind. I don't like him that much in the first place so not much worth the effort lol.
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I mean i enjoyed him pursuing me in his own special charming libra ways....he is cute and funny and someone I could talk to nonstop. Like his company and i feel friendship would be possible here but he just ruins it by trying to make a move. Its just completely wrong that he has a gf. I dont feel bad for myself, i feel bad for her...
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Probably cutting him off would be best option, but I feel he'll try to charm his way into my life....
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You are equally at fault here, hanging around with someone else's man waiting for him to leave her. Regardless of not putting out, and trying to maintain your the innocent party, it won't take long before you give in to temptation and then you'll get what you deserve.
The man's taken honey and your showing the morals of an alley cat!
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The fact that ur saying you could manipulate him to leave his girlfriend just proves my point that you don't know what ur talking about, u could never manipulate a libra that already knows how to manipulate u, he got u to sleep in a hotel with him, knowing that U do in fact want to be with him, he clearly had no intention of leaving his gf, and he has no respect for you or the gf, seems like his manipulating u just fine to me.
Not trying to be mean here, but I just don't see how ur hiding the fact that u do like this man, but will to be last on his list of respect
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Hmm where did I ask opinion about me? I don't need to know what you might think of me, I was simply asking how to deal with this situation. Its funny how some of you appear to be like mother theresa on here Big Grin im sure he respects me and if he didn't who cares. I respect myself, some of you seem to really be hating....i wonder maybe you've been that gf who was left because perhaps your man found someone better? smile)
Posted by TaurusNikki
The fact that ur saying you could manipulate him to leave his girlfriend just proves my point that you don't know what ur talking about, u could never manipulate a libra that already knows how to manipulate u, he got u to sleep in a hotel with him, knowing that U do in fact want to be with him, he clearly had no intention of leaving his gf, and he has no respect for you or the gf, seems like his manipulating u just fine to me.
Not trying to be mean here, but I just don't see how ur hiding the fact that u do like this man, but will to be last on his list of respect

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amn hypocritical ppl! Lol Not gonna ask for opinion here again, havent u seen ppl break up leave each other for another person!? If he would love her he wouldnt be straying n looking around. Of course he still cares about her to some extent not to just ditch her, they been together for a year and she's madly in love w him...but he's not. Now you can continue with ur bashing, thanks smile
Posted by JustALeo
Posted by psugirl
Thanks guys! I just wanted to make it clear so it doesnt seem I'm changing something, its just weird situation. I think too that friendship isn't working out w this guy...with any in general, women n men can't be friends. And to me its a proof. I like him to some extent but It's not like I'm in love with him. So for me no loss, i didn't pursue him or tried to manipualate him to leave her I could of if I wanted to but Im not that kind. I don't like him that much in the first place so not much worth the effort lol.


It's not a weird situation...I'm sure everyone who has read what you posted cant tell this is just another "player" situation. We all have our takes on it but in the end I think we can all agree that he's trying to manipulate you and have you as a side girl, always telling you his gf doesn't matter but really she does. We all make mistakes, just dust yourself off and try again!
But I like to disgree with you on women and men can't be friends. I think they can be why, because there's going to be women and men who aren't attracted to each other but they find their friend's attractive lol so you get in with the one you don't care for.
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Posted by psugirl
Hmm where did I ask opinion about me? I don't need to know what you might think of me, I was simply asking how to deal with this situation. Its funny how some of you appear to be like mother theresa on here Big Grin im sure he respects me and if he didn't who cares. I respect myself, some of you seem to really be hating....i wonder maybe you've been that gf who was left because perhaps your man found someone better? smile)
Posted by TaurusNikki
The fact that ur saying you could manipulate him to leave his girlfriend just proves my point that you don't know what ur talking about, u could never manipulate a libra that already knows how to manipulate u, he got u to sleep in a hotel with him, knowing that U do in fact want to be with him, he clearly had no intention of leaving his gf, and he has no respect for you or the gf, seems like his manipulating u just fine to me.
Not trying to be mean here, but I just don't see how ur hiding the fact that u do like this man, but will to be last on his list of respect


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Ummmm, you slept in a freaking hotel with someone else's man, duh, and no one here believes that u haven't done anything, sorry honey nice try, but u did something, otherwise why didn't u get your own hotel room, what's wrong u don't have the money to get your own room, ummmm yea, your guilty
My boyfriend is a libra and even he knows that was a stupid thing to do, seriously, the man is playing you and yes u don't respect yourself, cause u even stated u want this man, and he pulled the classic lines on you and you still fell for it,
If that libra respected you, he would have treated you like a woman, not a piece of meat, you should know how to deal with the situation, LEAVE THE MAN WHO IS NOT YOURS ALONE, ir just a booty call to him simple as that
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This chick must be smoking something
If the man didn't want her he would leave her, it's just that simple
He must love something about her cause he hasn't left her, he left you behind HELLO, he went right back to the girl who u claim he doesn't love, yea right, that man wants his cake and eat it to, problem is the side cake isn't worth leaving the home cake for, WAKE UP
You don't even have a clue if he loves her or not, how, because of what he tells you, libras have pretty words darling, but where is the action
If he wanted to be with u, he would be with you period, ur the one obsess with someone else man honey, take a good look at yourself
Seprated beds in a hotel room, get real, u must think ppl are stupid, u could have gotten your own room, or left his ass since he wasn't doing nothing but trying to get into your pants, but you still stayed around him, proving to him, that you don't value your worth
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Posted by everevolvingepithet
Posted by TaurusNikki
This chick must be smoking something

that's kinda funny when you think about it!>smile

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No comment, lmfao
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Libra charm strikes again
I myself was a victim of the libra charm, going to VOLCA, Victim Of Libra Charm Anonymous meetings, lmfao
But at the end of the day if you can't give me what I want my Taurus kicks in and I move on, no call no show
My libra chased to get me back and show action to match, now we are living together, driving each other crazy, but I love my libra with everything in me, if u don't know how to help balance a libra or do what needs to be done for a libra to appreciate u, U well fall into the famous libra cycle, which does recycle itself.
If the chick can't except that this libra is kindly telling her that he just want to hit dem skins, then she needs those VOLCA meetings
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Posted by psugirl
Ur just so damn hypocritical ppl! Lol Not gonna ask for opinion here again, havent u seen ppl break up leave each other for another person!? If he would love her he wouldnt be straying n looking around. Of course he still cares about her to some extent not to just ditch her, they been together for a year and she's madly in love w him...but he's not. Now you can continue with ur bashing, thanks smile


You're 23 and stupid. You don't know shit about life right now. Remember that the next time you think you know more about people like this in a situation like yours. Movies don't count as life experience, honey.
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<"`.
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very amused and entertained by what some of you said hahaha. Must be an expert on that Winking anyways I think i got my answers already, OFF to reality!! smile)
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What is your sign? You sound like fire sign. Honestly in my opinion you sound like you have a handle on the situation you??re in full control, however you seem as though you feel because you like him you might lose your grip pretty soon, after all no matter how you try to paint the picture to us, your still a woman hunnie, and at the end of the day sooner or later your feelings will get the best of you if continue to even entertain a guy with his agenda. If I??m right and you feel like you are about to lose your grip, I strongly suggest you run in the opposite direction (for some reason I feel you already knew this answer). But if you need to hear it or see it in black and white, here it is RUN! LOL.
I??m not saying being friends with the guy is not possible. I??ve been friends with lots of guys that have girlfriends, some I liked some I didn??t. But because I knew they had a girl there were certain things I just didn??t do. Like calling past certain times, or spending time with them in private setting (hotels, their place, my place) none of that mess was going down. Not judging, just saying if you don??t want to give this guy that wrong idea about you, then quit dangling the bait girl. Lol. Otherwise do you. Also a huge turn off for me is when a guy dogs out his girl, or trys to down play how he feels about her. It will make me not want to be around him for one reason in particular, I??ve been a girlfriend before and I cant help putting myself the girls shoes, and if my man EVER evvvvverrr talked down about me to another bish, oh baby he can forget about breaking up, I??d change the locks and have his shyt on the porch/balcony/front lawn, however I??m feeling at that point. Real talk.
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I went back and read your original question.
You wanted to know if you should continue being friends with him.
If you can be a friend and separate your feelings , sure why not. If you cannot then I would not suggest it.
It's not really that complicated. I think you wanted people to tell you that he likes you and he is with the girlfriend out of some sort of obligation. Sometimes it is good to have an outside perspective on a situation. It provides clarity.
The people here don't want you to get used by this guy. That's all. While some of their posts may seem a bit aggressive in writing, try not to miss the message because of the delivery.
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