Confused by Libra Man. Am I just being used?

This topic was created in the Libra forum by Proudram on Monday, March 16, 2015 and has 10 replies.
Hello yall. So, let me try to give as much background as I can because this situation is a little complicated (at least to me it is). I'm an Aries, and I met this Libra guy online about 3 years ago, and at first, he and I would butt heads a lot. We would argue and he would make fun of me simply because I disagreed with him. I'm a republican and he's a democrat, so most of our arguments would revolve around politics. So for about a year, he didn't seem to like me very much, and as time went on, he would start arguments with me over anything I said, and sometimes I would get tired of it, but for the most part, I enjoyed the back and forth of arguing with him because I am argumentative by nature. I remember that he wasn't very liked by many of the other chatters and I would usually be the only person to engage him in conversation when we weren't arguing. So I guess over time, he and I became acquaintances, and before I knew it, I had his email address and his skype(I told him to delete himself from my skype after I got angry with him during one of our heated debates, and so i don't have him on there anymore, and he refused to add me again after I asked him twice some odd months ago, so I haven't attempted to ask a third time). So after years of communicating with him in chat, and every so often via email, I did a stupid thing and developed a crush on him. I didn't tell him about the way I felt for a while, but when I finally did tell him, he told me that he had known for a while. I guess it's hard for me to actually hide my true feelings lol.
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So we emailed back and forth that day, and he seemed flattered by the idea of me having a crush on him, and he gave me his number because my phone wasn't on at the time, so he gave me his number and told me to text him when I got it back on, so I did. However, when I finally did text him, he wanted to see my boobs, and at first I was very angry with him and I told him off, which led to an argument, and I foolishly gave him what he wanted after he became more charming and convincing. So we started sexting, and because I really liked him, I read too much into what we were doing. He said that he wanted to come see me when I went to illinois (he lives in Missouri and I was in North Carolina at the time.) and that he was going to teach me how to drive because I don't know how. And this went on for about two weeks, and then I asked him how he felt about me, and he told me that he liked me but he wasn't in love with me, and I respected his honesty. Then there was another girl that he liked, and he would always complement her and talk to her, and it made me so furious inside, but I never let anyone else see it (I still had my pride to preserve, you know!) I eventually stopped texting him by telling him the half lie that our texting back and forth was eating up my minutes. I stopped emailing him as well and things between us seemed to go downhill from there. He became very rude and nasty to me and at times I didn't want to talk to him at all, and I gradually stopped emailing him to see how he was doing. Things didn't seem to be going so well between him and the other woman, and a part of me was happy because I felt he deserved it, because she was all the things he accused me of being: overly sensitive, emotional, and(in my opinion) an all around air head, but the other part of me was sad because I didn't like the way she treated him. She was also the jealous type, and he would try to chat with me in private from time to time, but it never went well, it was always pretty awkward during that time, and I tried my best to distance myself from him emotionally. The chat server where we all went to eventually went offline and was no longer working, so that made it a lot easier to just move on from all of that, and I eventually stopped talking to him all together. For about two months, I had absolutely no contact with him, and it was ok but I did still think of him from time to time, but I resigned myself to the belief that it was over and we'd never speak again.
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A couple of weeks ago, a good friend of mine told me about a chatroom that he went to and I decided to go there, and he told me that the guy was there too. I was hesitant at first, but I decided I'd go in there anyway and see what it was like, and maybe meet some new people. I saw him in there and I didn't speak to him and he didn't notice me in there for about two days, but he spoke to me briefly one day, and on the second day, he spoke to me again for a much longer period and he asked me to text him. So, I decided I would text him and see how things would turn out. He told me that my friend told him that I was in the chatroom, and that he fantasized about me when he found out that i was there. That did surprise me, and well, we started sexting again(which I will admit might be foolish of me, since we've done it before, and nothing significant happened) but he said that he had missed me, and we've been texting each other back and forth since then. Now, the concern is that I'm just being used again for the attention he craves until he finds someone else to make googoo eyes after, and that has me conflicted as to whether I should continue texting or just stop things right now before I get too emotionally involved. I'm not as naive as before and I don't think he's seeking a relationship or anything serious, but he has stated once again that he wants to see me, and when I accused him of having changed his mind the last time, he claims he didn't change his mind. Another thing that concerns me is that just as before, I'm the one who always texts first. I haven't texted him today, because I plan to start texting him less like every few days or once a week instead of everyday like I'm doing now. So, I'm just really confused by him and I don't know what to do or how to not make the same mistakes so that I don't seem needy or desperate.
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I know it's long, but there it is, and I'm certain I left out a lot of other details, but I feel that I've explained the situation the best I can. My Venus is Taurus and his is Sagittarius.
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It's more like an online friendship now, but I still consider it real. The only thing separating us are a few thousand miles.
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Posted by Kim11180560
"and I foolishly gave him what he wanted after he became more charming and convincing."
This would describe the whole course of the relationship from then on..

Well sure, it was foolish on my part, but he and I had been in contact via email before for about a year before we started texting, but I guess texting is different somehow. I was very reluctant to do that at first but he reasoned that since we had been communicating for well over two years at that point, that he didnt see anything wrong with it. And I guess I was blinded by my affection for him that I just accepted that trian of thought. But my focus is on what I should do now, since we've started talking again after two months of not speaking. Should I continue or should I just sever all ties? The attraction is definately still there but we dont get into sexual talk as often as we did like the last time. So I'm just not sure what to do or if this means anything, and I certainly dont want to be used by another guy. I just got rid of a cancer man who tried to use me.
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I guess I should just forget him but it's very hard. I guess once I form an emotional attachment it's just difficult to let it die.
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yikes! i wanted to quote this:
"he liked me but he wasn't in love with me, and I respected his honesty."
he likes you for sexting purposes. next thing you know he'd be asking for naked pics. don't go that road. protect your feelings. if you want more than what he can offer then sever all ties. you'll just waste your time and hurt yourself. pull away before you get in too deep.
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Posted by beautifuldiaster
Posted by AesmaDaeva
yikes! i wanted to quote this:
"he liked me but he wasn't in love with me, and I respected his honesty."
he likes you for sexting purposes. next thing you know he'd be asking for naked pics. don't go that road. protect your feelings. if you want more than what he can offer then sever all ties. you'll just waste your time and hurt yourself. pull away before you get in too deep.


I can relate to that. Honesty is so scarce, it's refreshing to hear it! We become addicted to another person's truth but we forget to distinguish our own truth when we hear others speak it.
What do YOU want? What do YOU deserve? What are YOU going to do about it?
That is what your truth is. Locate it. Master it. Become it.
click to expand

Thank you for your words of wisdom. I'll try my best to move on.
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Posted by beautifuldiaster
Posted by AesmaDaeva
yikes! i wanted to quote this:
"he liked me but he wasn't in love with me, and I respected his honesty."
he likes you for sexting purposes. next thing you know he'd be asking for naked pics. don't go that road. protect your feelings. if you want more than what he can offer then sever all ties. you'll just waste your time and hurt yourself. pull away before you get in too deep.


I can relate to that. Honesty is so scarce, it's refreshing to hear it! We become addicted to another person's truth but we forget to distinguish our own truth when we hear others speak it.
What do YOU want? What do YOU deserve? What are YOU going to do about it?
That is what your truth is. Locate it. Master it. Become it.
click to expand


The problem lies in the disconnect between what we want VS what others can offer whenever it's not on the same page.
What usually happens is the one pining over can't accept the truth & blame the one that don't want more and call it as being strung along. Sad
At least that was my personal experience. I was the one pining over and acted like a dog begging for scraps. When I was given a little attention, I considered it a positive sign to hold on and 'fight' for the relationship.
I totally forgot my own self worth. It took me 6 years to snap out of that delusion.
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