Crisis for Libra
This topic was created in the Libra forum by Chatz on Friday, October 26, 2007 and has 25 replies.
OK guys this is a beauty and without going into too much detail, I have a friend (not a very close friend I will admit) who had been seeing a Libra for about a year (silly girl LOL), and she ended it a few weeks back but they were going to remain friends, she since learnt she was pregnant to him...she let him know and he didnt believe he was the father, yada yada yada and told her that under no circumstances should she go through with it. Yeah charming huh? nice support
Long story short, she did terminate only a few days later and told him - he got angry at her for not letting him take her there and back and now says "I dont even have proof you were pregnant", but from what she told me, he had made it clear he wasnt going to be there for her emotionally or anything....yeah great again....get this though, he is the one who hasn't slept, he is the one who was freaking, he was the one who is upset...WTF???
Anyway she hasn't heard from him for the past few days....she's trying to get on with her life but cannot believe he has just left her be. Not a word from him.
WTF???
Is this guy for real? Yes he is probably going through a mix of emotions as well but sheesh!!!
Long story short, she did terminate only a few days later and told him - he got angry at her for not letting him take her there and back and now says "I dont even have proof you were pregnant", but from what she told me, he had made it clear he wasnt going to be there for her emotionally or anything....yeah great again....get this though, he is the one who hasn't slept, he is the one who was freaking, he was the one who is upset...WTF???
Anyway she hasn't heard from him for the past few days....she's trying to get on with her life but cannot believe he has just left her be. Not a word from him.
WTF???
Is this guy for real? Yes he is probably going through a mix of emotions as well but sheesh!!!
I do have to wonder as to what is going through HIS mind because from an outsider it looks as though he has just offloaded it to her and washed his hands of her.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...why does it cut me off?? 
The frustrating part is knowing that they still had a really good friendship yet when something like this happens he just walks away....she is devastated, not only for her loss, and the feelings she must be going through but to lose her friend at the same time...
I have to look at my own f/ship with Libra and see those qualities too when things went a little topsy turvy at times and saw he left it to me to pick up the pieces and/or instigate some sort of resolution but it would crush me if he were to be so heartless/cold should that have been us.
What does this poor woman have to look forward to? is there a chance he will eventually come back and apologise for his behaviour and lack of support or would this be final? Gawd, to look into the mind of a Libra....can one?? LOL
I really do feel for this poor girl...well she's not a girl, she's 32 but even so.
The frustrating part is knowing that they still had a really good friendship yet when something like this happens he just walks away....she is devastated, not only for her loss, and the feelings she must be going through but to lose her friend at the same time...
I have to look at my own f/ship with Libra and see those qualities too when things went a little topsy turvy at times and saw he left it to me to pick up the pieces and/or instigate some sort of resolution but it would crush me if he were to be so heartless/cold should that have been us.
What does this poor woman have to look forward to? is there a chance he will eventually come back and apologise for his behaviour and lack of support or would this be final? Gawd, to look into the mind of a Libra....can one?? LOL
I really do feel for this poor girl...well she's not a girl, she's 32 but even so.
Its possible that she didn't explained the situation to him clearly and gave him slight hints which obviously a libra will never understand. It all depends on how she talked to him. Since you only know her version of the story, I find it fishy.
Girl: Do you want to have a baby with me?
Libra: No.
(she took it as a big no and imagined rest of the conversation)
Girl: I am Pregnant.
Libra: Wow. thats good news. who is the father.
(This also can be misunderstood by her)
Girl: Do you want to have a baby with me?
Libra: No.
(she took it as a big no and imagined rest of the conversation)
Girl: I am Pregnant.
Libra: Wow. thats good news. who is the father.
(This also can be misunderstood by her)
LOL
Let's not forgot how Libra's take forever to make up their mind about anything. Add into the equation that the news was as shocking for him as it was her. Unless you're planning for a pregnancy the news will be a JOLT !!So once he heard the news, he may have said how he felt in the moment (equally shocking) but.....had he been giving more time to "think " about it (the child would have been in college by then, LOL) he might have had a completely different response. (maybe)
It's insulting in a situation like this that he feels HURT because he wasn't included in the final closure to the situation and yet he can't possibly imagine he would be the father in the relationship.PUH-LEEZ !!! I'm assuming,like "most" women, when you're in love you're committed and you don't stray or cheat on your BF. You expect the same from them. WTF do men (of any sign) freak and say something so stupid and insulting to imply that their woman is a HO when they find out she's pregnant? Should we believe that all the time he's been in the relationship he suspects there is some other male involved too and he was OK with it until now?
That's unbelievable because there is no way he would have tolerated that arrangement before. So somehow, now there's a pregnancy he voices this stupid opinion that he doubts he's the father? So why does he make insulting offending remarks like that?....... Because of Immaturity.
Meanwhile, poor Libra sifting and shifting with his thoughts. Back and forth, then one way then another. I assure you it is doubtful in those sleepless nights and days of tossing his thoughts around he thought about how SHE was feeling, what she was going thru, or how he could or should be more supportive of how this will not only change her life forever and her body as well. Nope.... he's too wrapped up in how this shocking news has suddenly affected HIS life!!!
He made it clear up front how he felt about the pregnancy and then reacts hurt because he wasn't given the opportunity to show he was going to be supportive in the termination.Then adds another dig by saying he doesn't believe she was pregnant afterall? Arrgghh!!! His way, I'm sure, of trying to make a last ditch attempt at being noble and then use that as an excuse to close himself off.
Certainly Libra has gone off into seclusion to think, think, and re-think for an Epoch amount of time about this. I don't have enough experience with a Libra to say just how long or if for good . If he really loves
It's insulting in a situation like this that he feels HURT because he wasn't included in the final closure to the situation and yet he can't possibly imagine he would be the father in the relationship.PUH-LEEZ !!! I'm assuming,like "most" women, when you're in love you're committed and you don't stray or cheat on your BF. You expect the same from them. WTF do men (of any sign) freak and say something so stupid and insulting to imply that their woman is a HO when they find out she's pregnant? Should we believe that all the time he's been in the relationship he suspects there is some other male involved too and he was OK with it until now?
That's unbelievable because there is no way he would have tolerated that arrangement before. So somehow, now there's a pregnancy he voices this stupid opinion that he doubts he's the father? So why does he make insulting offending remarks like that?....... Because of Immaturity.
Meanwhile, poor Libra sifting and shifting with his thoughts. Back and forth, then one way then another. I assure you it is doubtful in those sleepless nights and days of tossing his thoughts around he thought about how SHE was feeling, what she was going thru, or how he could or should be more supportive of how this will not only change her life forever and her body as well. Nope.... he's too wrapped up in how this shocking news has suddenly affected HIS life!!!
He made it clear up front how he felt about the pregnancy and then reacts hurt because he wasn't given the opportunity to show he was going to be supportive in the termination.Then adds another dig by saying he doesn't believe she was pregnant afterall? Arrgghh!!! His way, I'm sure, of trying to make a last ditch attempt at being noble and then use that as an excuse to close himself off.
Certainly Libra has gone off into seclusion to think, think, and re-think for an Epoch amount of time about this. I don't have enough experience with a Libra to say just how long or if for good . If he really loves
.........if he really loves her..........then I would think he'd be back. But each person is different and depending on how much of a bond was there between the two of them in the first place it will have to play out over time. (a lot of time in Libra's case). My sympathy and many many **hugs** for your friend.
Thank you for that - great insight actually...all the things I was thinking. Im pretty sure he'll be back in time and when things have cooled down in HIS mind and act like nothing is wrong.....I just hope she has sought counselling in the meantime coz she sure as hell could have used him if only for a hug...that's all she asked of him and he wrote (via text mind you)...."I dont know what to do, I am just as upset as you, its not rosy from my side either" WTF???
I have to shake my head
I have to shake my head
Yes, I would be curious to learn as well just what isn't "rosy" from his side. Other then the shades of embarrassment he should be feeling from his behavior. This would be better addressed from any male point of view out there. How and why men have this reaction and behavior in a situation like this. I don't think it's limited to just a Libra man or to a specific class or culture since it happens to a lot of women all over the world.
***"I dont know what to do, I am just as upset as you, its not rosy from my side either"***
I think he feels as he says. He is just as shocked and really doesn't know what to do. He really didn't want it to happen this way (as it seems she didn't either). Yes, he is confused and contemplating what is the right thing to do.
Not to justify his insensitivity at all though. If this wasn't planned it could be hard for both.
I think he feels as he says. He is just as shocked and really doesn't know what to do. He really didn't want it to happen this way (as it seems she didn't either). Yes, he is confused and contemplating what is the right thing to do.
Not to justify his insensitivity at all though. If this wasn't planned it could be hard for both.
Agreed but he has also said that its for the best that their f/ship ends. Whether he means it or not, who knows (as people tend to say things they dont mean when things are tough, but whoah, how does he come back if he does want to after that?)....what a mess though.
I guess in time he'll figure something out but in the meantime he left her in the lurch. Its a male thing I suppose LOL
I guess in time he'll figure something out but in the meantime he left her in the lurch. Its a male thing I suppose LOL
Thank you darlings, she has turned her grief into anger LOL....God knows what she'll do to him now....wouldnt want to be in his shoes but I imagine once she is through with him he definitely wont make any further contact.
Oh dear this daylight saving thing has got me yawning - one hour, how can one hour cause so much havoc?? I believe you guys put your clocks back but we put ours forward...argghhhh!!!
Oh dear this daylight saving thing has got me yawning - one hour, how can one hour cause so much havoc?? I believe you guys put your clocks back but we put ours forward...argghhhh!!!
grief into anger? is that common for a leo? or is it a cancer trait?
I imagine its more of a cancer trait to be honest....My mum is a Cancer and when she's angry (which isn't often) watch out!!!
Leos never get angry *smiles*
Leos never get angry *smiles*
It can't be a cancer trait.......I think it's just human nature. The progression of healing when you begin to move forward and put the pain behind you.....it turns to anger and it then becomes a motivator for moving on.
I think she really needs to do that too so she can forget him for good...lets face it, he hasn't made contact with her even to see if she is ok in any way shape or form...he, from all accounts, has written her off and is moving on with his life whereas she is stuck in limbo thinking of several losses and she really didnt need him to walk away at this time.....You have explained that well. I dont know how I would be in the same situation.
Can this day move any slower??? Daylight saving sucks on the first few days!!!
Can this day move any slower??? Daylight saving sucks on the first few days!!!
OMG you won't believe this but my friends' Libra man came back - after 6 odd weeks and claims he's in love with her.....WTF???? After he left her to deal with what happened??? OMG!!!
She didnt make any further contact and now he's chasing her again???? OMG I thought this story was finished!!!
Is it possible he is just feeling really guilty and trying to make ammends or could it be that he's only JUST realised how HE feels??
Freaky!!!!
Can this work? I mean can they work it out? Is it possible??? Being a Leo I am very forgiving but Im not sure whether I would forgive the disappearing act that he gave her....sheesh!!!!
She probably will
I dunno if he deserves another go
She didnt make any further contact and now he's chasing her again???? OMG I thought this story was finished!!!
Is it possible he is just feeling really guilty and trying to make ammends or could it be that he's only JUST realised how HE feels??
Freaky!!!!
Can this work? I mean can they work it out? Is it possible??? Being a Leo I am very forgiving but Im not sure whether I would forgive the disappearing act that he gave her....sheesh!!!!
She probably will
I dunno if he deserves another go
Lol, woe be to anyone who gets invovled with the scales!
I mean this isn't new to me
I mean this isn't new to me
LOL....can only take a Libran to work it out!!!
..not always though; sometimes they get sucked into the scenario and cannot get out. It probably takes a very strong and patient sign to work out something as messy as a libra 
Well, it's been about a month right? (Nearly as long as when my Libra did his vanishing act during that same time if you recall.) He may have finally sorted things out emotionally during that time and the distance and absence may have helped him to realize he truly loves her and doesn't want to lose her forever.
Who knows? I'm sure there must be something there or why else would he have returned after a month? Just for the challenge to see if he could get her back if he wanted to? Could be ! But I think there still must be some strong emotional bond there between them. I hope they can discuss things, work it all out, and put the past behind them.
Who knows? I'm sure there must be something there or why else would he have returned after a month? Just for the challenge to see if he could get her back if he wanted to? Could be ! But I think there still must be some strong emotional bond there between them. I hope they can discuss things, work it all out, and put the past behind them.
Hmmmmm well we will see
I dunno, shocking news pulls me into reality and motivates me to be more diligent and thurough when working through it. I have noticed this with other libra guys, I tend to do the la la land thing when everything is going smoothly.
Honestly, I think there has to be more to it. The specifics like how she brought it up, how he countered and then how she reacted to that kicked off the chain of events that led him to disapear then reapper. they probably were not meeting in the middle on anything and so he figured he needed to step away from it, gain a clearer perspective and then approach the situation from an angle that she would be more responsive and less defensive to, as would he.
That is my take on it. I don't personally know of a Libra male that would split upon hearing news of becomming a daddy. If any unreasonable action were to come of it, the first thing that comes to mind is staying with her and going along with her wishes for the sake of "doing the right thing by the child" which isn't really healthy either if it is entirely for someone else. When I read the story the first time my impression was two young people without a lot of real life experience whom had a toxic affect on each other regardless of weather either was a good person or not under normal circumstances.
Honestly, I think there has to be more to it. The specifics like how she brought it up, how he countered and then how she reacted to that kicked off the chain of events that led him to disapear then reapper. they probably were not meeting in the middle on anything and so he figured he needed to step away from it, gain a clearer perspective and then approach the situation from an angle that she would be more responsive and less defensive to, as would he.
That is my take on it. I don't personally know of a Libra male that would split upon hearing news of becomming a daddy. If any unreasonable action were to come of it, the first thing that comes to mind is staying with her and going along with her wishes for the sake of "doing the right thing by the child" which isn't really healthy either if it is entirely for someone else. When I read the story the first time my impression was two young people without a lot of real life experience whom had a toxic affect on each other regardless of weather either was a good person or not under normal circumstances.
Probably an accurate response nico.
Only thing is that they are both mature adults who already have children from previous r/ships...neither wanted to continue and have another so that's fine - they both made that decision. From what I understand he wanted her to "move on" as he was not in love with her and made her feel as though it was a year of just sex, and so she cut contact with him as she was going through so much (as you can imagine)...not only had she lost somebody she loved dearly but what she had to face.
I guess its hard for a woman to understand (a mature one) that a man would just run and hide when she needs him the most (this attitude and behaviour resembles 2 scared teenagers), even if just to give her a hug or sit with her for a while....they spent a year together, yet he runs at the first sign of trouble. He must be proud NOT.
Maybe they both didn't handle it well but honestly to run?? pffttt....I think Im more angrier coz I have a terrible feeling he is only coming back out of guilt and that it must have been eating him up quite a lot....I have fears she will go through more torture because he has come back....if he said he wasn't in love with her at that time, why would he be in love with her now??
Only thing is that they are both mature adults who already have children from previous r/ships...neither wanted to continue and have another so that's fine - they both made that decision. From what I understand he wanted her to "move on" as he was not in love with her and made her feel as though it was a year of just sex, and so she cut contact with him as she was going through so much (as you can imagine)...not only had she lost somebody she loved dearly but what she had to face.
I guess its hard for a woman to understand (a mature one) that a man would just run and hide when she needs him the most (this attitude and behaviour resembles 2 scared teenagers), even if just to give her a hug or sit with her for a while....they spent a year together, yet he runs at the first sign of trouble. He must be proud NOT.
Maybe they both didn't handle it well but honestly to run?? pffttt....I think Im more angrier coz I have a terrible feeling he is only coming back out of guilt and that it must have been eating him up quite a lot....I have fears she will go through more torture because he has come back....if he said he wasn't in love with her at that time, why would he be in love with her now??
Yep!!
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