Hi! I??m with my Libra boyfriend with aquarius moon for 7 months now. I??m a taurus girl also with aquarius moon and leo rising. We started as officemates and we??re both still in the same company for more than 3 years now. He??s a nice, sweet and respectful guy. But we really have problem in communication. He tends to withdraw whenever he??s not okay which others call Disappearing act.I can feel he??s distancing himself from me, not to get too close. Our jobs are really stressful and we are always busy. Even if we can see each other everyday, we barely spend time as a couple. I just feel I??m the one who constantly try to reach out and make time for each other now. I try my best not to smother him but I guess being in the same place already makes him bored with my presence. He can be hot and cold any moment and any day. Also his mom calls him 3 times a day, everyday. I think he??s afraid I??ll be the same and he??s already drained by it.
I try to make sure to give him space and let him have his alone and guy time. I already talked this with him except about his mom and our conversation is good. He said sorry if he??s making me feel that way. There are times that I really wonder if he really loves me and I know it's not right. But I can see his efforts in dealing with our issues. I told him I??d appreciate if he can be more honest with his feelings. I really dont know if I??m doing things right with him. Anyways, it really requires so much patience from me. He??s important to me so I??m willing to do as much as I can to make our relationship work.
Signed Up:
Mar 18, 2013Comments: 0 · Posts: 1355 · Topics: 6
He sounds like a mama's boy and if so commitment is really going to be an issue with this one. Talking to your mom multiple times a day, screams arrested development. There's a difference between loving your mother and being dependent on her. It's all about degrees of attachment and 3 times per day is too attached.
@beautifuldiaster
His parents are still living together 9 hours away from our city. My boyfriend is the youngest only son and he has a married older sister. They're already like that since he moved in this city for more than 3 years now. Usually they're conversation will just be about if he has eaten his meal already, what he's doing at the moment (work as usual), about his nephew living near his mom or any other matters regarding their family. Sometimes he'll let me talk to her. I already met her once. I guess she really misses her son. They're conversations usually last 2-5 mins. Usually my bf will end the call. Sometimes he won't answer the call when he's doing something which ends up me receiving a message. I can sense his boredom sometimes talking to her.
Honestly if my Mom will do it to me, it will also take toll on me haha.. I really don't mind with the attachment they have. I don't intend competing attention and love from any one as long as I get my fair share. I don't want to always demand time or attention. I want it to be freely given. And I really feel his fear of me getting too attached with him also. I barely call him or text him. Sometimes I just text just to say good morning/night and don't initiate chat especially at work. He can be picky in replying to my texts and usually I'm the first one to initiate communication.
One thing I'm worried also is that he never told me if I've done anything wrong that upsets him. He just told me there are instances I forget but he never specified. I can think of some but he won't admit it. He never also get angry with me but sometimes he'll get annoyed if I push an issue too much. I just don't like him keeping peace for the sake of having it which Librans are known for.
You pretty much already recognized what factors created the problem. Correct me if my understanding is wrong.
1) Work together
2) Stressful work
3) Overbearing mother
4) Aquarius moon
Do you live together as well? Even if you didn't, that is a lot on both your plates! He needs a lot of space right now to de-stress.
Don't ever pressure a Libra to do anything. It will backfire. They need to go through their mental processes to feel like they've had enough time to weight all the information.
You need to work on reducing those stress factors above. Maybe change your job to another place. Sounds drastic, but trust me, spending a lot of time together in a stressful environment associates you with stress. You don't want that. He needs to associate you with relaxation and happiness. That is the only factor that seems you have any control over. If you care a lot about him, I would start looking to change jobs or at least to another department where you don't run into each other as much. Just seeing you at work places pressure on him.
I have a lot of experience with Libras - best friends, lovers, coworkers, family, etc.
Good luck!