Dinner Tonight
This topic was created in the Libra forum by Atom on Wednesday, February 28, 2007 and has 32 replies.
I'll be seeing Libra Girl for the last time for about five days. I'm taking over a fruit plate and just playing it by ear. She seems to have changed slightly---talks about EVERYTHING tells me EVERYTHING and grows very tender when just talking to me directly. I've got a ton of stuff to do before tonight, so not too distracted trying to make plans. Suggestions???
What sort of suggestions are you looking for?
Be a little bit aloof, but just a little bit e.g. perhaps a bit quiet, and see if she crosses the 50/50 line...(yet when she speaks be interested though so as not to discourage her.)
Her effort then becomes noticeable. And don't tell her you'll be missing her over the next couple of days...
Her effort then becomes noticeable. And don't tell her you'll be missing her over the next couple of days...
Some more thought as a whole - not as an action point for this evening:
Libra Girl will want it such that when you guys finally come together it's HER accomplishment. You just merely responded to what was offered...
I think you need to overwhelm her, completely surprise her, say the right thing out of nowhere. All very direct. I loved it when a lovely person did that to me. But I did show him (on the dance floor / without words / NOT sleezy / just awesome together-dancing) that the time had come to cut the crap...
Libra Girl will want it such that when you guys finally come together it's HER accomplishment. You just merely responded to what was offered...
I think you need to overwhelm her, completely surprise her, say the right thing out of nowhere. All very direct. I loved it when a lovely person did that to me. But I did show him (on the dance floor / without words / NOT sleezy / just awesome together-dancing) that the time had come to cut the crap...
nice!!
"to cut the crap..."
coming from a Libra! LOVE it! Thanks
coming from a Libra! LOVE it! Thanks
It went "okay." SHE made dinner (surprised me!)---a quiche. It was perfect. We played the piano together for about an HOUR---yes, an HOUR, and laughed our heads off. Having a great time. OMG, she was stunningly beautiful the whole time. OW. Then we had dessert and just talked about everything under the sun---friends, family, business ideas. And (I'm such a DORK---maybe---) I told her I love her. She heard it but didn't respond. We just went on talking some more and a little later she mentioned I should be a little cooler---as in emotionally cooler---imagine telling an Aries that! Ha! So I gave her some jive talk, but that's not the cool she meant.
Boils down to typical Libra confusion where she loves for me to touch her and be close to her and laugh with her, but wants to stay aloof.
I came home and wrote a long list of why NOT to be with her---to put more distance between us, for me to quit acting like some love-struck little boy who wants to call her all the time and see her all the time, to, HOPEFULLY, get in a position where I have enough self-control to let enough time go by she'll HAVE to call me and set things up and realize her heart IS with me---and able to tell me that. OR not. So I'll be free.
How can you feel ELATED and YUCKY at the same time. (Picture one in each scale. Yippee!).
Boils down to typical Libra confusion where she loves for me to touch her and be close to her and laugh with her, but wants to stay aloof.
I came home and wrote a long list of why NOT to be with her---to put more distance between us, for me to quit acting like some love-struck little boy who wants to call her all the time and see her all the time, to, HOPEFULLY, get in a position where I have enough self-control to let enough time go by she'll HAVE to call me and set things up and realize her heart IS with me---and able to tell me that. OR not. So I'll be free.
How can you feel ELATED and YUCKY at the same time. (Picture one in each scale. Yippee!).
Tom
Things are getting clearer even though you might not feel that at all...
As long as you keep crossing the 50/50 line she cannot. The moment has to be hers, not to prove to something you, but to herself.
On a good note: you tell her you love her and she is asking you to be aloof. If someone told me that he loved me and I did not want him to love me I would make a big soup as to why I cannot be with him, I would drain him for a good hour about my shortcomings and out of pitty. OR I would ask him to leave or I would leave right there and then, if I felt too suffocated.
None of that is going on at your end and she is actually telling you what to do to create the situation where she can long for you because you're aloof (=unavailable) and she can put herself in the driving seat e.g. cross the 50/50 line and show you/tell you.
...and you asked for suggestions for this evening?! Grrrr!!
Again, if you both carry on being with each other after the five-day absence then it is a YES, but you have to play this her way. You cannot expect a Libra to be told what to do e.g. love you back hands down. We HAVE to conquer. It's all about how it comes together. I cannot stress it enough.
Things are getting clearer even though you might not feel that at all...
As long as you keep crossing the 50/50 line she cannot. The moment has to be hers, not to prove to something you, but to herself.
On a good note: you tell her you love her and she is asking you to be aloof. If someone told me that he loved me and I did not want him to love me I would make a big soup as to why I cannot be with him, I would drain him for a good hour about my shortcomings and out of pitty. OR I would ask him to leave or I would leave right there and then, if I felt too suffocated.
None of that is going on at your end and she is actually telling you what to do to create the situation where she can long for you because you're aloof (=unavailable) and she can put herself in the driving seat e.g. cross the 50/50 line and show you/tell you.
...and you asked for suggestions for this evening?! Grrrr!!
Again, if you both carry on being with each other after the five-day absence then it is a YES, but you have to play this her way. You cannot expect a Libra to be told what to do e.g. love you back hands down. We HAVE to conquer. It's all about how it comes together. I cannot stress it enough.
not to prove something to you, but to herself.*
right!!
Atom....you had a great night - that's better than you'd hoped.....Gawd your libran girl sounds like My Libran friend. You gotta be strong now and just let her have some time and come to you I think. I imagine she will - she enjoys your company!!
Im avoiding mine now too....chatted last night - he can't commit to a r/ship, so I become aloof....he misses me? he knows where to find me. Simple now!! too simple. While he's sitting at home every freaking night on his singles sites (for God only knows what reason but he's home alone that way hehehehe), Im going out....actually I have a date tomorrow night *gulp*...yup, I bit the bullet....I know it won't lead anywhere coz the Libran is well you know!! but I need to get myself balanced too (omg did I say that?? Yikes!!).
Enjoy your alone time for a while...try (yes try) to stop thinking of her...play some happy music, get together with some good mates, hell, get smashed and have some fun!!! She might even start worrying as to what's happened to you if you're not calling all the time and get curious??
Atom....you had a great night - that's better than you'd hoped.....Gawd your libran girl sounds like My Libran friend. You gotta be strong now and just let her have some time and come to you I think. I imagine she will - she enjoys your company!!
Im avoiding mine now too....chatted last night - he can't commit to a r/ship, so I become aloof....he misses me? he knows where to find me. Simple now!! too simple. While he's sitting at home every freaking night on his singles sites (for God only knows what reason but he's home alone that way hehehehe), Im going out....actually I have a date tomorrow night *gulp*...yup, I bit the bullet....I know it won't lead anywhere coz the Libran is well you know!! but I need to get myself balanced too (omg did I say that?? Yikes!!).
Enjoy your alone time for a while...try (yes try) to stop thinking of her...play some happy music, get together with some good mates, hell, get smashed and have some fun!!! She might even start worrying as to what's happened to you if you're not calling all the time and get curious??
Chatz
Don't read too much into a Libra visiting a singles site, honestly. It is his way of doing a little bit of nothing, recharging the battery. I suppose it's easier than reading a book. It's effortless. He can sit there behind this computer in his pyjamas scratching his bottom, be sulky and be entertained and that's all there is to it.
Just a bit of me, myself and I. He's unbalanced and rebalancing takes time and the Libra that goes through it has to sit it out - just like you - until the scales find themselves again. It's a physical reaction to withdraw. And it takes TIME and there is nothing you can do about it.
And he can do it because you give him time...So that makes you a good girl, in his eyes.
Don't read too much into a Libra visiting a singles site, honestly. It is his way of doing a little bit of nothing, recharging the battery. I suppose it's easier than reading a book. It's effortless. He can sit there behind this computer in his pyjamas scratching his bottom, be sulky and be entertained and that's all there is to it.
Just a bit of me, myself and I. He's unbalanced and rebalancing takes time and the Libra that goes through it has to sit it out - just like you - until the scales find themselves again. It's a physical reaction to withdraw. And it takes TIME and there is nothing you can do about it.
And he can do it because you give him time...So that makes you a good girl, in his eyes.
Yes, Chatz yay!!! Girl go on that date. He might just look for you online and you aren't there. Or he might text. Don't text back on a date -- rude 
and watch him go balistic!!!
and watch him go balistic!!!ATom, ***Jealous eyes roll*** Happy for you though!!!
Atom
She is asking you to back off a bit. What she is saying, without saying, is that you are smothering her.
She is asking you to back off a bit. What she is saying, without saying, is that you are smothering her.
Yes. Yes. Yes. SO I wrote down all the reasons NOT to see her for now. Lining up other commitments. Have decided to go other places (the mall, different restaurants, etc.) to circulate away from her for awhile. Yes, I think you're all correct about the time away and smothering. Libra, I DO appreciate your advice and take it to heart---I'm not used to this reaction EVER in ANY relationship with a woman! It's new to me to wait for her to so-call conquer. VERY NEW idea about playing it "her way." (And women complain about men not being aggressive enough! Geesh!). BUT I've pulled back now---emotionally and physically.
Taking Chatz' advice too---it will HAVE to be the way I handle things for now---cuz I'm not really into rejection---even though that doesn't seem to appear to be what it is to you girls. She KNOWS how I feel---just have to leave it at that. THEN, as Chatz knows full well, her she comes again. Yeah, I saw the scales dip back and forth about four times last night. Wow, SO pleasant. Wow, SO "What the ???"
And Queen of all Scorpios, thank you for your comments. I can tell you are a true romanticist and you have that psychic thing happening where you can tell what's REALLY going on.
I appreciate you ALL!
Taking Chatz' advice too---it will HAVE to be the way I handle things for now---cuz I'm not really into rejection---even though that doesn't seem to appear to be what it is to you girls. She KNOWS how I feel---just have to leave it at that. THEN, as Chatz knows full well, her she comes again. Yeah, I saw the scales dip back and forth about four times last night. Wow, SO pleasant. Wow, SO "What the ???"
And Queen of all Scorpios, thank you for your comments. I can tell you are a true romanticist and you have that psychic thing happening where you can tell what's REALLY going on.
I appreciate you ALL!
Chatz balanced? *crossed eyes*
Will do, kg!
Thank you LIbra - that kinda puts my mind to rest and yes Im giving him space now - tis hard as we all know but I do know he's there for me if I need him and as he said "I have no problem keeping in touch with you at all at any time and please call me if you need to talk or just need me"..hehehehe.
The online thing? yeah I can see what you mean....he's always on there!!! Must be pretty lost but yeah, I'll sit it out - he's worth it and as for seeing me online? I don't go on the same sites, I can go in as a guest because I don't want to be in that environment at all. I am not checking so much anymore now coz I know he's home - its up to him now to miss me, and I hope he does for my sake LOL.
OK now to read the other posts....gotta keep up - you have all been busy while I've been sleeping!!
The online thing? yeah I can see what you mean....he's always on there!!! Must be pretty lost but yeah, I'll sit it out - he's worth it
and as for seeing me online? I don't go on the same sites, I can go in as a guest because I don't want to be in that environment at all. I am not checking so much anymore now coz I know he's home - its up to him now to miss me, and I hope he does for my sake LOL.OK now to read the other posts....gotta keep up - you have all been busy while I've been sleeping!!
*Don't read too much into a Libra visiting a singles site, honestly. It is his way of doing a little bit of nothing, recharging the battery. I suppose it's easier than reading a book. It's effortless. He can sit there behind this computer in his pyjamas scratching his bottom, be sulky and be entertained and that's all there is to it*
I can only imagine him doing that and you gave me a giggle!! Mind you he probably isn't sitting in any pyjamas LOL...too hot here at the moment...anyway that brings another smile to my face
Thank you
I can only imagine him doing that and you gave me a giggle!! Mind you he probably isn't sitting in any pyjamas LOL...too hot here at the moment...anyway that brings another smile to my face
Thank you
*Taking Chatz' advice too---it will HAVE to be the way I handle things for now---cuz I'm not really into rejection---even though that doesn't seem to appear to be what it is to you girls. She KNOWS how I feel---just have to leave it at that. THEN, as Chatz knows full well, her she comes again. Yeah, I saw the scales dip back and forth about four times last night. Wow, SO pleasant. Wow, SO "What the ???"*
Atom, just don't make my mistake of telling your lady how you feel too soon again. I waited 2 months since the first time I did this to mine (mind you I didn't actually say I loved mine as you did)....still too soon LOL....I dunno, TIME, TIME, TIME. He's now going through a really hard time after this one and I didn't mean to upset him but he was taking me for granted, however, he's there for me if I need him and somehow I actually think he wants me to go to him with my troubles (something awful happened last Friday at work and I told him about it and he said "why on earth didn't you call me?, why didn't you come to me?, me going on a bender wasn't as important as your feelings").....awwwwwwww how sweet...they do care, they just can't be rushed.
Up and on and go and have fun in the meantime and remember, you are my personal secretary, and Im giving you an order!!
Atom, just don't make my mistake of telling your lady how you feel too soon again. I waited 2 months since the first time I did this to mine (mind you I didn't actually say I loved mine as you did)....still too soon LOL....I dunno, TIME, TIME, TIME. He's now going through a really hard time after this one and I didn't mean to upset him but he was taking me for granted, however, he's there for me if I need him and somehow I actually think he wants me to go to him with my troubles (something awful happened last Friday at work and I told him about it and he said "why on earth didn't you call me?, why didn't you come to me?, me going on a bender wasn't as important as your feelings").....awwwwwwww how sweet...they do care, they just can't be rushed.
Up and on and go and have fun in the meantime and remember, you are my personal secretary, and Im giving you an order!!
Order received, boss. Lips sealed for now---and a long time. Youse a good boss, boss.
kennyg, thank you for being so sweet. Will there be an opportunity to see your mural? Sounds like a great project!
Okay, so we talked after not hearing from her for two days; and SHE made the effort and called. We did NOT set up future plans----just kept things open for HER to let me know what SHE wanted to do---but she didn't! Now back in wait and see mode.
So is it going to continue this way? I.E., is this ENOUGH to satisfy a Libra? Just have a conversation to make her feel secure, everything is okay, and that's it??? OR is she going to push it up a notch of two? I had a feeling one of the reasons she called was to check if I had been out on a date with anyone. IS my next move to, er, WAIT some more? LOL!
So is it going to continue this way? I.E., is this ENOUGH to satisfy a Libra? Just have a conversation to make her feel secure, everything is okay, and that's it??? OR is she going to push it up a notch of two? I had a feeling one of the reasons she called was to check if I had been out on a date with anyone. IS my next move to, er, WAIT some more? LOL!
LOL Atom who knows!!! I question the same motive with mine keeping me hanging all weekend - chatting Friday and Saturday night and then seeing me again last night (making sure I wasn't anywhere else over the weekend)...who knows!!
My head hurts fromm analyzing.
Probably best Atom, to WAIT SOME MORE lol
My head hurts fromm analyzing.
Probably best Atom, to WAIT SOME MORE lol
Woah. Well, on one hand to be perfectly honest I cringed a little bit when I read the part about telling her you love her. On the other hand, it looks like it didn't scare her off like I would have feared, so...It's not what I would have done but no harm no foul. Doesn't mean it is the right thing just because it is what I would have done.
It was smart to write down the reasons not to be with her as inspiration to create the necessary evil named "distance". It sounds like she is coming around slowly, admittedly to my surprise.
"We HAVE to conquer."
I am going to avoid going too in to depth about this. It is an interesting point when it comes to us Libras dating Aries, Leo or Scorp, and alcheme and I had a nice conversation about it the other night. Leo and Scorp conquer agressivly and to some extent so does Aries. Leo and Aries through spirit, Scorp emotionally. But we conquer in Ideal, and it works a lot differently. We conquer through not allowing ourselves to be conquered. Confused? We see someones desire to conquer us as confrontation, it is abrasive to us. You don't have to win a confrontation by defeating outright....you can win it by not giving in to it. Through aloofness and and seperating our emotions from our intellect we are able to simply refuse someones ability to conquer us, when that is defeated, we have conquered.
So......your being conquered right now. Essentially. Your being forced to submit to being on her terms without actually being forced to do anything. A pain in the ass, but powerful, as you and chatz know.
It was smart to write down the reasons not to be with her as inspiration to create the necessary evil named "distance". It sounds like she is coming around slowly, admittedly to my surprise.
"We HAVE to conquer."
I am going to avoid going too in to depth about this. It is an interesting point when it comes to us Libras dating Aries, Leo or Scorp, and alcheme and I had a nice conversation about it the other night. Leo and Scorp conquer agressivly and to some extent so does Aries. Leo and Aries through spirit, Scorp emotionally. But we conquer in Ideal, and it works a lot differently. We conquer through not allowing ourselves to be conquered. Confused? We see someones desire to conquer us as confrontation, it is abrasive to us. You don't have to win a confrontation by defeating outright....you can win it by not giving in to it. Through aloofness and and seperating our emotions from our intellect we are able to simply refuse someones ability to conquer us, when that is defeated, we have conquered.
So......your being conquered right now. Essentially. Your being forced to submit to being on her terms without actually being forced to do anything. A pain in the ass, but powerful, as you and chatz know.
God yes!!! Thanks for pointing out the pain once again Nic LOL
I know that things will probably work out in the future for me and mine as he is continually keeps in contact now when I honestly thought he'd walk and/or lay low for quite a while, and well how could he live without me?? LOL. I know Nic, that I should never have sent mine that email...I knew I'd regret it but I also had to call him up on his bad behaviour. Guess Atom had to put it out on the table too.
If these darlings want to conquer, then so be it - let em conquer eh Atom?? damnit, I want him to conquer me!! I want him to show some spirit...THAT would make me adore him even more!!! LOL
Personally, Im going to do my own disappearing act for a few days.....I've made it way too easy for him to chat and call since that email...he really does need to miss me...I've been there too much!!
Hmmmm now come on the conquering
I know that things will probably work out in the future for me and mine as he is continually keeps in contact now when I honestly thought he'd walk and/or lay low for quite a while, and well how could he live without me?? LOL. I know Nic, that I should never have sent mine that email...I knew I'd regret it but I also had to call him up on his bad behaviour. Guess Atom had to put it out on the table too.
If these darlings want to conquer, then so be it - let em conquer eh Atom?? damnit, I want him to conquer me!! I want him to show some spirit...THAT would make me adore him even more!!! LOL
Personally, Im going to do my own disappearing act for a few days.....I've made it way too easy for him to chat and call since that email...he really does need to miss me...I've been there too much!!
Hmmmm now come on the conquering
"Hmmmm now come on the conquering"
Thats the point, he already is...it's not forceful, it just is. And, usually isn't realized until later on down the road. I think it is more natural/subliminal than calculated.
Thats the point, he already is...it's not forceful, it just is. And, usually isn't realized until later on down the road. I think it is more natural/subliminal than calculated.
Thank you, Sir Nic, for chiming in! Taking it in; absorbing. Pioneers are not used to allowing others to conque. But your post makes perfect sense and is, hate to admit it, BRILLIANT. Good to have you back, buddy!
Yes I do have to admit, it does make sense but in a way, wish he'd just end my misery rather than have me hang on to perhaps, false hope by him being there more now.
Atom, love the pioneer attitude!!
Atom, love the pioneer attitude!!
Well think of it this way, in your case it is two pioneers instead of one. Aries is not only cardinal, but the pioneer of the first or "ego" half of the zodiac. And the Libra is not only a cardinal but the first in the "id" half of the zodiac, so it is the two STRONGEST pioneer signs in the zodiac vying for position in a relationship. One hard and externally and the other soft and internally...you and her respectively. I think the pioneer aspect is a little stronger in the Libra male than the female, but it is still there regardless. It is the reason your having trouble in that aspect but also the reason Libra and Aries guys make good friends, they are both go with the flow in the moment pioneer personalities. My ex roomate and long time friend who is an Aries was so fun to hang out with because one of us would have an idea and both of us would just go with it.
Yow! *head spinning*
Gotta luv Nic's insight. This dude knows his stuff.
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