Do Libra Men like women to take initiatives?

This topic was created in the Libra forum by PeepPeep on Friday, September 6, 2013 and has 16 replies.
I have been dating a libra guy for about 2 months now. He seldom texts me during the week but when we get together , hes the sweetest man ever. And he seldom asks me to meet on weekends. I had mentioned these things to him before, and he said I could have taken the initiative to ask him. He said its not the 19th century anymore. He also told me he checked our chatlog and he was always the one who talked to me first. I m rather passive when it comes to dating. i feel uncomfortable to do things that guys normally should do. I don't want to create the impression that he has won me over already.
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Posted by PeepPeep
I have been dating a libra guy for about 2 months now. He seldom texts me during the week but when we get together , hes the sweetest man ever. And he seldom asks me to meet on weekends. I had mentioned these things to him before, and he said I could have taken the initiative to ask him. He said its not the 19th century anymore. He also told me he checked our chatlog and he was always the one who talked to me first. I m rather passive when it comes to dating. i feel uncomfortable to do things that guys normally should do. I don't want to create the impression that he has won me over already.


For any guy, it's good to take initiative. They're people too, and want to know if you feel the same way they do. But If you find that you're the only one doing anything then move on.
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Posted by VenusStar
Posted by PeepPeep
I have been dating a libra guy for about 2 months now. He seldom texts me during the week but when we get together , hes the sweetest man ever. And he seldom asks me to meet on weekends. I had mentioned these things to him before, and he said I could have taken the initiative to ask him. He said its not the 19th century anymore. He also told me he checked our chatlog and he was always the one who talked to me first. I m rather passive when it comes to dating. i feel uncomfortable to do things that guys normally should do. I don't want to create the impression that he has won me over already.


For any guy, it's good to take initiative. They're people too, and want to know if you feel the same way they do. But If you find that you're the only one doing anything then move on.
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the reason i hesitate to take the initiative is because he seldom calls. I would like him to make more moves to show that hes sincere. I don't think its the right time for me to do any work at the moment. Its Friday already. I have not got one single message from him yet. Not even "hi" .
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I hate having to initiate every communication! Even with friends, it's funny how rare it is that anyone texts me out of the blue. It's always have to be me to do the work and the best part is if I mention "the phone works both ways" I get read the riot act of how terrible I am. I'll tell you exactly how he feels: I must be annoying and I just won't initiate anything. I'd rather not speak then come across as the annoying guy. If you like him, text him, once you put in the effort he will too. God forbid you actually show you're interested so he knows he's not wasting his and your time. Or is your back up for when your A plan doesn't pan out.
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You both are ridiculous, honestly. It's 2013, not 1912.
2 months in and he doesn't do anything with you on weekends and you rarely hear from him otherwise? Are you sure you're "dating" the guy? Last I checked, weekends were reserved for date nights, and you aren't a part of any.
Also, you don't want him to think he's won you over?
You're playing games, and he's not into you.
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And in regard to the general question, yes. Because they're lazy and would rather others take the lead.
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LOL rocky I won't lie we are lazy, but I've gone after those I've wanted (for the most part).
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Posted by theGrinch
I hate having to initiate every communication! Even with friends, it's funny how rare it is that anyone texts me out of the blue. It's always have to be me to do the work and the best part is if I mention "the phone works both ways" I get read the riot act of how terrible I am. I'll tell you exactly how he feels: I must be annoying and I just won't initiate anything. I'd rather not speak then come across as the annoying guy. If you like him, text him, once you put in the effort he will too. God forbid you actually show you're interested so he knows he's not wasting his and your time. Or is your back up for when your A plan doesn't pan out.


ah, yes. maybe thats how he's feeling. I like him alot. I just find him very different from the other guys. He is really good at controlling his feelings but still can be very sweet. He texts me most of the time but the messages are always short and simple. It is only annoying when he wouldnt ask me out on or before Friday but would ask me on Saturday when I have already made other plans. I know he wants to see me, but somehow its like hes waiting for me to take the initiative and if I dont, only then he would do it at the last minute. oh yeah and one thing! I asked him out before, thats was Sunday. He told me , yes totally, lets meet tonight. but then at around 7pm, he suddenly called me to cancel it and postpone to the day after. I was a bit disappointed. I wish he could have told me earlier if he had to get busy suddenly. since then, I havent asked him to meet anymore.
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Posted by rockyroadicecream
You both are ridiculous, honestly. It's 2013, not 1912.
2 months in and he doesn't do anything with you on weekends and you rarely hear from him otherwise? Are you sure you're "dating" the guy? Last I checked, weekends were reserved for date nights, and you aren't a part of any.
Also, you don't want him to think he's won you over?
You're playing games, and he's not into you.


I made a mistake. I didn't mean he never asked me to meet on weekends. In fact, he always asks, but he asks me ON the weekends, not before the weekends. He gets quite upset these days I think because I have become really busy lately. I dunno how much he's into me really, because i m not good at reading guys. i m always a bit skeptical even when he says "I Love You". I think Libra men are generally rather cold and indecisive - I have known a few, they are very similar, especially when it comes to texting and calling. I had met 2 Libra men before and both of them had been pursuing me for over 2 years, even though I had boyfriends inbetween that time. I was thinking, these guys DO have perseverance. And of course, I wouldn't be stupid enough to think they were not seeing other women and only waiting for me. And now I guess one of them is finally married and I still keep in touch with the other one as friends. i was surprised because i wasn't really affectionate to them(in fact, I ignored them sometimes, even deleted their numbers when i changed cellphones ), but they still liked me. I didn't like Libra men much until i met this one. I was always more attracted to Sagittarius and Gemini (i m a Gemini myself too).
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A Libra who waits so long to make a decision, yet is able to snap to one once a deadline hits...
A Gemini who makes decisions ahead of time and doesn't understand last-minute whip-snap decision changing...

This is humorously complementary. Um... rock it? Winking Try making plans for your weekends that could possibly include him if he wants to come along. Even if it's something like meet you at Place B right after Place A is done (and they are near each other). Although him meeting with you at Place A is just as good if he's up for that. If/When he sends you his idea, send yours back. You get to feel all casual and he gets to feel included.
I've only known 2 Libras in person (and having known their sign). NOT a lot to go on! But, for those two (and possibly with others), the "I love you" seems to have a lot more to do with Moon than with Sun. Considering that the Moon is the emotional root, that makes sense. The Aqua Moon, it was just words. The guy was fickle, completely and entirely. I could 'feel' it from him, and then I no longer could, like night and day; yet he continued to say it, even on the day he left. I'd call that tacky, but I imagine, with Aqua Rising to complete his trio... it is ideal to love, and so therefore, he thinks he loves. In contrast, the Capricorn Moon... well, he still hasn't said it, but I can feel it growing, day by day. From him, it is stronger already than the Aqua Moon had ever managed, yet with a fearful note just as strong. I get the feeling once he says it, he'll mean, can you stay forever, please.
Back to point, what is your Libra lover's Moon? smile
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I still don't think this guy is that into you, based on the info you've given. Not to say you should stop or anything, but it explains a lot of what's going on, meaning I wouldn't stress over a lot of this. He already showed you that he can't take you seriously when you DO take initiative.
Also, it's really rude to keep someone that you're dating as a last minute option or waiting til the last minute to make plans. If he was truly into you, he'd be down to make plans asap.
The last one I dated, when things were obvious interest on his part, we'd go out, and within the next day or two, he was already asking me when we'd be going out again. He was making plans 3-4 days in advance, or asking when I was free again in order to make said plans.
As interest waned, it was a lot of the similar behavior that you've written about here- last minute plans, texting became more scarce, etc.
Same thing happened with the ex when he started emotionally distancing himself toward the end of the relationship. He went from making plans any time during the week, to "I can't plan that far in advance" type of responses.
Overall, I don't think your issue is purely lack of initiation. It would help if you tried more, but in this scenario, it may not make much of a difference. You never know though. Guys like to have that little ego stroked once in awhile to motivate them. :/
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Posted by theGrinch
LOL rocky I won't lie we are lazy, but I've gone after those I've wanted (for the most part).


Agreed.
Guys are guys and they'll go after what they want. Women (and some guys) make way too many grey area excuses for such shitty, obvious behavior.
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Posted by Draumstafir
A Libra who waits so long to make a decision, yet is able to snap to one once a deadline hits...
A Gemini who makes decisions ahead of time and doesn't understand last-minute whip-snap decision changing...

This is humorously complementary. Um... rock it? Winking Try making plans for your weekends that could possibly include him if he wants to come along. Even if it's something like meet you at Place B right after Place A is done (and they are near each other). Although him meeting with you at Place A is just as good if he's up for that. If/When he sends you his idea, send yours back. You get to feel all casual and he gets to feel included.

Back to point, what is your Libra lover's Moon? smile


something wrong with the previous message, so i have to post again my response to your comment ^^:
Thats a very good point. I could do that. My bf is quite a boring person. He doesn't have much to do besides work and swimming. Hes a very good swimmer but I m still learning to swim ;P To be honest, we don't have much in common,except that we are both free-spirited and flexible. We had a fun date before going to an island and spending the entire day there. He told me he wants to do that again with me. Unfortunately, I m having too many things to do recently and can only spend an evening with him every week. I might get even busier later, but I will try to make time for him and plan something fun to do together.
Hmm..I don't know his moon ... From the way you described, I think it could be either gemini or aquarius, because hes good at sweet-talk, manipulation and persuasion. My moon is Gemini so I understand his trick and don't fall for everything he says. But I can see if hes slacking or making an effort. i don't think he's in love, but i m sure he likes me enough to keep dating me. I won't pressure him. Feelings should be natural. I m not IN love either, but i like him alot because he makes me laugh Big Grin.
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Posted by rockyroadicecream
I still don't think this guy is that into you, based on the info you've given. Not to say you should stop or anything, but it explains a lot of what's going on, meaning I wouldn't stress over a lot of this. He already showed you that he can't take you seriously when you DO take initiative.

Overall, I don't think your issue is purely lack of initiation. It would help if you tried more, but in this scenario, it may not make much of a difference. You never know though. Guys like to have that little ego stroked once in awhile to motivate them. :/


Hey thank u for your opinion. i think you could be right, but there's another possibility- we have started dating for awhile now. At the beginning, we did see each other quite often, e.g. three times per week. And he asked me every time. Maybe now he has become a bit more comfortable and wants more space for himself. I was annoyed at first, but now since I have become busier, so I dont mind too much anymore. I will be fine with him, as long as he stays loyal and doesnt disappear on me haha.
i had a date with him last night. He asked me why i have been so busy and when I would be free to do this and that? Oh and he told me he wouldn't mind if I call him everyday and he wouldn't think thats needy. i m not a phone person but maybe I will start to make phone calls once in a while. He might like that. And let's see if he would do the same afterwards.
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*sigh* Whatever. If you're gonna post something and want any sort of advice, it'd be great if you didn't leave out such details.
You painted the dude one way in the first post, and now you're backpedaling and changing the initial impression you gave.
Whatever floats your boat in this situation.
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Posted by rockyroadicecream
*sigh* Whatever. If you're gonna post something and want any sort of advice, it'd be great if you didn't leave out such details.
You painted the dude one way in the first post, and now you're backpedaling and changing the initial impression you gave.
Whatever floats your boat in this situation.


Ah, I guess I was being Gemini;P...I have changed my mind about the situation. but I still value all your opinions. I think what you said definitely make sense. I thought so initially too...but then i think maybe i should make a bit more effort on my part too. Thanks alot, rocky road smile You are one of my favorite flavors of ice cream. ^^
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