Exclusively talking VS Dating? Sooo Confusing!

This topic was created in the Libra forum by beelibra on Monday, March 4, 2013 and has 9 replies.
This guy and I have been "talking" for about a month now. We've had sex, I've met his family, we've gone out on several dates and have sleepovers, and talk literally non stop from morning to night. Last week a conversation kinda just came up, and we talked about how we're not seeing anybody else.
And just 2 nights ago, I was spending the night and someone texted me kinda late and he asked who I was texting which shows he cares. (It was like 3 am so I understand why! He's far from insecure) So whats the deal, whats next? I don't know if were just exclusively talking or would this be dating? I have a 2 year old daughter so I don't know if that confuses him on how to approach moving up with me or what the deal is. He talks about me to his friends, made a little album on his phone with pics of me, and talks to his mom about me. haha so whats going on! thanks guys!
PS] Im a Libra/Scorpio Cusp (oct. 21) and hes a Capricorn. I find I have to make first moves and kinda pull to open him up, although his interest in me is without a doubt there with mine. Is this something I need to do more pulling? Gahhh. -___-
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What the hell? Reread what you wrote. It's obviously more than "talking" which is a high school term used by immature kiddies who can't face that dating is dating.
What you two are doing is dating. It went beyond "talking" when you had sex, which would be technically "fucking" not talking. :p
If the word "dating" is too scary, then use "seeing."
From what you've said, it's clear that this guy is focusing on you. Sooo, why not just ask him where this stands? You're just complicating this in your head, tbh. I see nothing confusing about your situation. Really, there is NOTHING confusing about it. It's all classic signs of the guy being into you. Why would you consider throwing around a word like "talking" for a situation like this? Come on, chica. This is the real world, not high school anymore.
Actually, the only thing I'd be concerned about is the pace of which all this is going, which is really, really fast. Met family, friends, sleepovers, and sex? WITHIN A MONTH? With a CAP?? Wow.
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I have never introduced anyone to my family who i was "talking" to I mention people I am "dating" but they dont get introduced either. To me your in a relationship! What does he introduce you as too his friends? "hi this is the girl I'm.talking.to exclusively"??? lol. You dont have to put a label on it if you.dont want to but from.what you have written you two.are a couple smile
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you two are offical if he talk about you to his family done deal.
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capricorn like blunt straightforward conversations so just ask they rarely take offence and are not sensitive (Im a cap)
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Posted by michellemabelle
capricorn like blunt straightforward conversations so just ask they rarely take offence and are not sensitive (Im a cap)


This is true. Asking a forum what's going on isn't very productive. Caps aren't ones to shy away from questions like this. And if he were to shy away, well eff that.
Regardless of who, everyone has a right to ask where things are going when seeing someone. I've pretty much hit that point with the guy I've been seeing and plan on bringing it up the next time I see him. When you start investing time into someone that's relationship potential, you do have a right to know so you are not wasting time on someone who is just screwing around. Unless you're down for flaky scenarios, most people can't really stay in that zone for long and need to know wtf is going on.
That said, the obvious answer is "ask."
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These answers gave me a good laugh, but honest and I loved them, thanks you guys!
See it makes me smile thinking hmm..met the family, this is a relationship! But I don't want that unless I KNOW that. So to what a lot of you are asking, yes I guess what I want is the talk. And him being a cap, I suppose I have to innitate it. But if asking I intimidates you, does that make it wrong to ask? I guess I've made wrong moves with openness in the past with dating, and I don't want to do it again and ask when the time isn't right. Yeah, we did move fast. And again him being a Cap, I guess this is a good thing!...right? I want to ask him...but it freaks me out, ha! We had a conversation last time we hung out, and he was talking about how he was telling his friend about me, and when he was saying "this girl I'm seeing/talking to" he got thrown off and jumbled around between the two like he didn't know how id react. He also told me how this place he volunteers at, he has these younger high school girls, being like "ooooh your girlfriend, this and that" haha. So if that made him so uncomfortable or shy away from that, he wouldn't tell me! I guess maybe I should be the one to talk about it, since he's never dated someone with a kid, that probably makes him feel like its my place to bring up. But it makes me hesitant, because Im the one most of the time that makes the move for affection. And although that doesn't seem to reflect on his feelings for me, it makes me on edge to open up to him in return. Yes, yes I am a Libra and I over complicate things, but hell...what am I gonna do about that?! haha!
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Posted by tiziani
I love this site sometimes. It's a surreal experience to see other Libras complicating and over-thinking things like I would, from the outside. Also helps me to see how much of a pain I must have been haha
He's doing all the things that suggests he values you as a person so I think the better question to ask yourself is what are you looking for out of putting a label on it? (not a rhetorical question, an honest one that I'd be interested to know).
You clearly feel something is still missing. Perhaps it's as simple as "having the talk". Ask yourself what you want, and then ask him for it.


Haha I am loving this point of view and I would agree its interesting! I guess there is a lot that I am looking for out of putting a label on it. Above all, its to clear the confusion. I want to tell him I miss him, and be open with it. Im a romantic person, so that means that me knowing what our status is lets me be able to open up on so many more levels. It would clear up so much for me, I would know that certain things I was saying aren't wrong or over the top. I hope this makes sense. Aside from having that exclusiveness to know that we are there to turn to each other and the typical why people want a relationship stuff. smile
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Knowing he "stumbled" when describing who you were kinda tells me that he may be willing to consider you a girlfriend, but doesn't know where you stand. For as hard ass as Caps can be, they have squishy, vulnerable centers. Tbh, they can act pretty retarded when they like a girl. I wouldn't worry about bringing it up. I get your hesitation. I only mentioned my situation because I can totally relate bout the "what ifs" in your situation and understand your worries. The only difference is that yours is really, really obvious. Arrows , lighted signs, and everything. Again, no idea what you're so confused about. :p
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