Fellow Librans - I need your advice

Have you ever cut or "iced" someone out of your life after they betrayed you and then have to "de-ice" them later for the greater good? If so, how did you do it? This person has never apologized, but I'm hoping that if I bend and acknowledge their presence, they will finally go away. At least that's what my head is telling me, but my heart just isn't in it. Any suggestions?

No - they are still around. We work together, so I've been cordial , meaning I will say hello if spoken too directly. However, I do not initiate any type of communication or contact. But they continoulsy stare and/or wave hello wether, it is here at work, or passing on the street.

Posted by aquadiesel

Posted by OctoberGirl
Have you ever cut or "iced" someone out of your life after they betrayed you and then have to "de-ice" them later for the greater good? If so, how did you do it? This person has never apologized, but I'm hoping that if I bend and acknowledge their presence, they will finally go away. At least that's what my head is telling me, but my heart just isn't in it. Any suggestions?

i dont get what u mean for the greater good—

what is a greater good?

the reason why people NEVER apologize is because they think they are right, but most of the times these people cant be that right as NEVER is an absolute condition, absolute conditions arent real, unless the subject of the apology was an ideal, then it DOES MAKE SENSE lol.

if you broke an ideal and this person is stuck to her/his ideals, then it makes sense that they will never apologize.

if they apologized but took the apology back, then its usually for materialistic purposes, and they are absolutely wrong and are then bastard and stubborn.

if it is the ideal that u broke, eg accusations, criticisms etc. then it makes sense, if it is a petty thing, like he says the desk yellow when its green, its their fault. and they have to go away.

if the ideal is broken, then they are right, if its something else, then you are right and he/she have to fuck off. 🙂

kind regards, x

click to expand

It has been 10 months since I told this person that I was done and that they no longer deserved my friendship. However, they aren't going away. I guess by saying the 'greater good" I meant that for my own sanity, perhaps, I should aknowledge them (not be friend them) in hopes that they would be satisfied and then go away.

lol...libra ice.

Posted by TheBeautifulStruggle
lol...libra ice.

LOL. . . Yes, I admit it, I'm one of those Libra's!

Turns out it was all in vain anyway - this person came right on over to me a little while ago and said "hey- what's up!" like nothing ever happened. I guess all I can hope for now, is that the game playing is over and now that I've spoken to them - THEY WIN - and now they can leave me alone.

Eh..I think in general people think we're easy-going, you may have completely cut the guy from your life but chances our by just being who you are..they don't really catch on. It's just how it is...I remember being constantly bitter about the actions of some people and having those same people remark that the things they love most about me is that I never take anything too seriously. Which is hardly the case but they never seem to get it.

I think it's just how it is.....just embrace it and be flaky, ..we don't ice(it isn't in our nature)..we just be nice and dip out.

Posted by TheBeautifulStruggle
Eh..I think in general people think we're easy-going, you may have completely cut the guy from your life but chances our by just being who you are..they don't really catch on. It's just how it is...I remember being constantly bitter about the actions of some people and having those same people remark that the things they love most about me is that I never take anything too seriously. Which is hardly the case but they never seem to get it.

I think it's just how it is.....just embrace it and be flaky, ..we don't ice(it isn't in our nature)..we just be nice and dip out.

Thanks BeautifulStruggle. You are right it's not in our nature. I thought by telling him and then showing him that eventually he would catch on. But I guess his cancer tenacity is stronger than my stubborn streak. To be truthful, it has been 10 long months since I ended our relationship and the games have left me emotionally exhausted. I realized that I just wanted peace in my life so I decided to let the anger go. I just hate the fact that he will once again see my kindness as a weakness.

Posted by everevolvingepithet
I think it's easir to just be polite/normal and let them watch you do your thing elsewhere lol.
That way, there's no icing or revenge or blah involved, one's just being themselves hah.

Thanks for your advice - you're right. My behavior is not making him respect me or my feelings . . because he is just not getting it. But that's ok - I will take the high road and just be myself.

Posted by OctoberGirl
Have you ever cut or "iced" someone out of your life after they betrayed you and then have to "de-ice" them later for the greater good? If so, how did you do it? This person has never apologized, but I'm hoping that if I bend and acknowledge their presence, they will finally go away. At least that's what my head is telling me, but my heart just isn't in it. Any suggestions?

When I cut someone its for life. They no longer exist to me. I'm not a naturaly cold person, it hurts me a lot to do it (damn cancer moon!!) but it is what I have to do to move onwards and upwards. Anyone who gets this treatment will have meant the world to me at one point which is why I felt the need to remove them from it. The only person whho managed to thaw their way back in was my old aqua best mate. We didnt speak for four years until I over heard heer saying I was the best thing she had ever had in her life and shes sorry shhe messed up (althougj she would never have said it to my face!!) we're not best friends again, I keep her at a distance but we aare back on friendly terms.

Ive had to ice out...but I find it takes alot to actually get to the point where Im finally done when, the ultimate act of betreyal is committed, after every chance has been given, its over. I'll walk past you like you were never even apart of my life, I actually just recently had to do this an aqua(lying bastid) gosh they lie smh, anyway If we ever speak again it would have to be after a long while when I have forgotten and remembered them again. Oh I like to even scores too. But I found that even a young age when someone did me wrong I just behaved as if I never knew them they hate it. oh well I try I can't force it you didn't appreciate it.... whaddya gonna do. Libra here moon Lib Virgo merc, venus, mars.

Posted by OctoberGirl
Have you ever cut or "iced" someone out of your life after they betrayed you and then have to "de-ice" them later for the greater good? If so, how did you do it? This person has never apologized, but I'm hoping that if I bend and acknowledge their presence, they will finally go away. At least that's what my head is telling me, but my heart just isn't in it. Any suggestions?

I know what you mean - that situation is awkward. If its the colleague, then u have to suck it up sometimes, or quit which seems like a good option. No point in remaining in a toxic place. You don't deice for greater good, but because u have forgiven them.