Female Leo needs help again with Libra Male
This topic was created in the Libra forum by RHIANNON72 on Sunday, June 18, 2006 and has 14 replies.
Ive really had it with my partner. I am not sure what to do anymore. We have been talking about having a baby since Janurary. We decided we would wait till June and now the time has come and he has cold feet other than that I feel hes playing games with my heart. He says he does want a baby though, theres no doubt about it. We talked about it a dozen times. We are financially secure. Everytime we go to have sex he ends up withdrawing. He agrees when we will have sex even what days and that we will try then but then he backs out. I am at my wits end because originally he told me I could decided when we would start and originally that was suppose to be in March, then April, then May. All of them he all backed out of. Its like he gives me something to run with and then says no nevermind we dont need that anymore. Finances WHERE a concern for awhile beause he didnt have a job. Now he and I are both very stable. When finances where a concern we decided to wait till things where fine. Now they are. The only other thing is that he has had cold feet from previous relationships because the woman running off with the kid, the woman getting abortions, and the woman having misscarriages. He feels he cant keep a kid because of this. We have talked about this many times and he stresses he trusts me and loves me and wants a child. What should I do? I cant handle hijm doing this anymore where he agrees and then backs out. HE is not sticking to his word I dont know what to say to let him know how much this means to me and how much it bothers me not sticking to what he says. I am not sure how to do this as well without sounding like im nagging. The worst part is he tells me its fine now and then I run out and go get things that would help with fertility and be romantic, etc. I even bought lingerie the other day. Thinking alright this is really it we are going to do this. Now im worried he wont follow through again and my heart is already breaking. Anyone have any suggestions? I know I posted something similair about this before, just things are really getting to me. How can I make him see how much hes hurting me. If he doesnt want a baby NOW fine, then be honest with me and stick with things. Dont keep saying one thing then a week later say oh its fine we start trying now, but when the time comes oh no sorry cant do and then back out. Other than this I am very happy with this man. I dont plan on leaving him.
He doesn't want to have a baby. He is trying to please you and just get on with it but he can't because it fundamentally goes against what he truly wants.
Back off with the baby stuff. Stop pressuring and nagging about it. Start showing true appreciation and affection for him as your partner. Let things happen naturally.
Back off with the baby stuff. Stop pressuring and nagging about it. Start showing true appreciation and affection for him as your partner. Let things happen naturally.
Thanks, but he does want a baby with me. I know that he does. He has said that he has many times even before I started asking. But I will shut up. Thanks.
If he wanted a baby, you would at least be having sex. What he is saying and what he is doing are two different things. He is in conflict within himself ... the desire to please you conflicts with the desire to be true to his needs.
Ever heard talk is cheap? He is telling you with his actions he does not feel ready to have this baby.
Ever heard talk is cheap? He is telling you with his actions he does not feel ready to have this baby.
I understand what you are saying. We do have sex and we do have it more than he has with other gfs. He just never has really had a high sex drive. He has a hard time completing the act so to speak. I have asked about ways to motivate him with wanting more sex because he just always has had a low sex drive even way before me. I understand about wanting the baby and not wanting it now I can see where you are coming from with that, but he does want children. I do show him appreciation and affection all the time. What can we do so we can meet half way. If I shut up and lay off on the stuff what should I expect from him? If I am doing my part shouldnt he being doing something to show that he is moving foward with things?
Signed Up: Feb 03, 2006
Comments: 0 · Posts: 469 · Topics: 63
Comments: 0 · Posts: 469 · Topics: 63
wooow, alot of libra-leo couple everywhere, i think there is some chemistry between these 2 signs
Well Leo-Libra is a legendary combo ... kind of like Virgo-Scorp. Reading up on Leos, I can understand their attraction to Libra. Libra is all about serving their partner and making their partner feel like they are the only thing that has ever mattered. Leos need that.
.... mind you what Libra means one minute can flip the next ... but the Leo-Libras I know in real life, LOVE each other and feed off each other. It is nice.
.... mind you what Libra means one minute can flip the next ... but the Leo-Libras I know in real life, LOVE each other and feed off each other. It is nice.
doesnt sound like he wants this baby...what else can you do but accept the fact that he probably does not want a baby now and may not want one at all. He may be avoiding the issue (like libras do) and may be afraid to tell you that.
You need to wait and let things go the leo way... They dont like someone taking a bit of control over matters... Being a libra, am sure you know more than one way to make him dance to your tunes... Go ahead... Plan B or C can give you solutions... 
Sorry I thought u r libra... You are leo and he is libra and hesitant.. Its differnt.. indecisive... Trust his timing... things will be more better... refer to the ls diving timing thread...
Thanks again everyone for the input. We had a talk the other day and he brought it up. I just told him I really loved him and wont be leaving him again. He opened up later that night with sex and lets just say things are getting better. Since talking to him either way and looking at the posts i understand alot more now. Thanx!
Yay! I am glad to hear things are going so well with your Libra. Perhaps he just needs some reassurance.
Hello Fellow Lioness!
How old is your Libra Male? Is he nearing or past his prime for making kids? Could he fear genetic problems of some sort?
Did he EVER get in contact with his child from his past or the women who had abortions? Why did they abort? Was it him or the situation, age etc? How was his relationship with is mother before she died? Were they close or distant?
Sounds to me that he needs some closure. It may never come in the form of talking with them but learning to FORGIVE himself. We cannot change the past but we can learn from it.
Have you ever read any of the Mars Venus stuff from John Gray? There is a thing that Gray calls the love letter where you write all of the things you would like to say so that you can feel them and release them. You write a letter to that person expressing Anger, Sadness, Fear, Regret and then Love. You don't have to send it, just get it out and release it. I know I have likely over simplified the concept but it helped me during my divorce.
Men go through a thing Gray refers to as rubberbanding where they contract and expand with intimacy. http://www.marsvenus.com/forums/ . Like the old song goes, "Sometimes when we touch, the honesty is too much - and I have to close my eyes and hide" - Guys can only take so much closeness at a time, while we are never full!
If he can forgive his role in all of this, get some closure he may be ripe and ready for a new baby.
How old is your Libra Male? Is he nearing or past his prime for making kids? Could he fear genetic problems of some sort?
Did he EVER get in contact with his child from his past or the women who had abortions? Why did they abort? Was it him or the situation, age etc? How was his relationship with is mother before she died? Were they close or distant?
Sounds to me that he needs some closure. It may never come in the form of talking with them but learning to FORGIVE himself. We cannot change the past but we can learn from it.
Have you ever read any of the Mars Venus stuff from John Gray? There is a thing that Gray calls the love letter where you write all of the things you would like to say so that you can feel them and release them. You write a letter to that person expressing Anger, Sadness, Fear, Regret and then Love. You don't have to send it, just get it out and release it. I know I have likely over simplified the concept but it helped me during my divorce.
Men go through a thing Gray refers to as rubberbanding where they contract and expand with intimacy. http://www.marsvenus.com/forums/ . Like the old song goes, "Sometimes when we touch, the honesty is too much - and I have to close my eyes and hide" - Guys can only take so much closeness at a time, while we are never full!
If he can forgive his role in all of this, get some closure he may be ripe and ready for a new baby.
Taken from linda goodmans book abt libran and his kids and confusions. Worth reading.
The children will always benefit from his sense of fair??ness. He'll make sure the biggest youngsters don't take advantage of the baby, or the youngest doesn't break the oldest's bicycle spokes. Libran fathers will exercise dis??cipline with quiet authority, and they'll try to give a logical reason for punishment, which will seldom be administered in anger. Like you, the children will melt under his charm; and like you, they'll also chafe under his constant debating and challenging. Strangely, a Libra man usually doesn't look forward enthusiastically to the birth of children. But after they arrive, he weighs the advantage of their love against loneliness, plunges into fatherhood with a sincere desire to enjoy it, and normally ends up as a doting parent. However, he'll never allow parental affection to replace his romantic feelings for you. With typical Librans of both sexes, the mate comes first, offspring second. You needn't fear that his love for you will decrease as the family in??creases-assuming, of course, you got rid of those char??treuse draperies or the maroon rug, one or the other- and that the dirty dishes don't continually pile up in the sink.
The children will always benefit from his sense of fair??ness. He'll make sure the biggest youngsters don't take advantage of the baby, or the youngest doesn't break the oldest's bicycle spokes. Libran fathers will exercise dis??cipline with quiet authority, and they'll try to give a logical reason for punishment, which will seldom be administered in anger. Like you, the children will melt under his charm; and like you, they'll also chafe under his constant debating and challenging. Strangely, a Libra man usually doesn't look forward enthusiastically to the birth of children. But after they arrive, he weighs the advantage of their love against loneliness, plunges into fatherhood with a sincere desire to enjoy it, and normally ends up as a doting parent. However, he'll never allow parental affection to replace his romantic feelings for you. With typical Librans of both sexes, the mate comes first, offspring second. You needn't fear that his love for you will decrease as the family in??creases-assuming, of course, you got rid of those char??treuse draperies or the maroon rug, one or the other- and that the dirty dishes don't continually pile up in the sink.
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