Flighty Libran's

This topic was created in the Libra forum by daisey1507 on Tuesday, March 12, 2013 and has 13 replies.
Hi all,
I have had a bit of an insight into the Libra ex, saw his cousin on saturday, who was telling me a bit about him, I didn't ask but anyway here goes.
He felt uncomfortable when he saw me that day, and was asking family if he could leave, yes he felt awkward, not quite sure why as I didn't at any point approach him and definitely didn't talk about anything that had happened, just seems quite strange to me, as I wouldn't allow anyone to have that much power over me to make me feel uncomfortable. In fact he came to talk to me, I suppose he was trying to do the civil thing.
Also, he previously went out with someone and just dumped her out of the blue, she is another good friend of his cousin, this girl was heartbroken, so heartbroken at the fact that he hadn't given her closure, that after bumping into him at a party 9 months later, she was found in the toilet crying, he did eventually go and talk to her after a bit of persuading, and yes he had brought another girl to the party. In fact, a few weeks after he had split up with this girl giving her no closure, his new girlfriend ended up going on a night out with his son's baby mum, his cousin, and the heartbroken one also went, she didn't realise til she got to the house that his new girlfriend had also been invited. Awkward!!!!
He has a regular pattern of this behaviour, so yes by all accounts I think I am far better of out of it, we have a party in a few weeks and I wouldn't be surprised if he tries to bring someone to the party, if he can get a date that quick, he isn't an oil painting as most Libra's are, I am fully aware of this, and now that I have a bit more insight into his behaviour it won't bother me, I certainly won't be found in the toilet crying.
My male friend came to pick me up on saturday night after seeing our mutual friends and his family, good job he is good looking, 6ft tall, very muscley and fit, the girls were certainly impressed, as were the guys, with his muscles lol. My friend has also invited him to the party as well, but not sure if I should go down this route as don't want it to seem like i'm rubbing his nose in it, but then again we have moved on, so what is the worry??
In a way I do think that maybe if he does see me with someone else it will stop him feeling so uncomfortable, as I get the feeling the uncomfortableness is stemming from him thinking I want him back, so maybe it would be best for him to see me moved on and happy.
Any ideas fellow
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Any idea's fellow Libran's. I have also found out he is a first decan Libran if that is any help and is always in and out of relationships, his cousin did say to him that he should be honest with people as he leads us girls on rather than telling us he doesn't want a serious relationship, he by all accounts I think actually prefers the friends with benefits rather than a relationship, but never tells anyone this, I don't understand why he can't just be honest it would save a lot of heartache, as at least if girls knew where they stood with him it wouldn't lead to all this, as we could make the decision in the beginning to walk away if this isn't what we want, I just don't get why he puts himself through it, if it isn't what he wants.
I know for one I will be certainly be looking at his next girlfriend with pity as the poor thing isn't going to have a clue what she is setting herself up for.
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You need to understand that an apostrophe does not go at the end of any word that ends in an S. Only in possessive form and when it's a contraction.
That shit seriously makes me headdesk...

In regard to all of this and this "update," it's all trivial. Just like the last post. I get why you'd find it interesting, because it helps you piece things together, but don't make it a habit.
As far as you bringing someone along? Who knows. I want to say that my ex seemed to act a bit more "normal" when I saw him a few weeks back, as word has probably gotten around that I'm seeing someone (they're a gossipy bunch). However, just before I started seeing the current guy, I also had noticed that the ex was acting a bit better then as well. *shrugs*
In your situation, it's a little early to be determining which is which. Do whatever the hell you want. I don't know why you want approval. If you feel that taking this guy out is your way of showing that you're moving on, fine. However, I'm willing to bet that deep down you just want to do it to make the ex feel crappy. The way you went on about how good looking and "muscley" he is tells me that you're into showing this guy off to "prove" that you're moving on when you really aren't. You're 39 years old, not 15. Start acting like it.
How about you be single for awhile? Libra guys fuck with your head when things get to this point, whether it's intentional or not. You need a time out to regain your bearings.
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Ahh, no the guy is just a friend that I have known ages, my ex has heard me talk about him, and he also has a girlfriend as well, and I have made no secret of that fact, I am not trying to pretend to the world that he is my boyfriend, if that was the case I definitely would not be going to the party with him, as definitely do not feel ready to date anyone, quite enjoying being single at the moment, so that is definitely not my intention.
I do find it interesting what I have found out as it kind of makes it easier for me to move on as I now no that in his eyes I was nothing special apart from a fling, it's just a shame he didn't tell me that at the time, his words and actions are totally different things, after all we'd only just started seeing each other he went on holiday and came back with gifts for me whilst I was still trying to figure out if we were together or not.
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One thing I do know for sure is that I do not want to get back with him, as I know it wouldn't work and no way would I let my heart go through the last few weeks again. It is encouraging that you say he stopped acting so crappy that is what I want, not to get back with him but just doth at things aren't so awkward, personally I didn't think it was awkward apart from initially the last time I saw him, but I have obviously now been gold he found it uncomfortable. I have had no contact with him since that last time, I have also changed my number so that contact has been totally cut, and yes the bigee I have stopped writing anything about what I am doing on FB. What is also interesting is since I have stopped doing it he has stopped getting girls to tag him in posts, so it kind of feels like it was a bit tit for tat. The only thing he has done is posted a silly photo of him in some new hat saying it has personality, which did make me laugh as I had brought him a jacket and hat for Xmas as well as other stuff when we were together, so it felt like maybe he was having a little dig but it didn't bother me.
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I like to analyse everything it is what I do for a living and also not sure but think this is a cancers an trait as well we like to understand people's behaviour, we love people studying.
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Lol @ "he has stopped getting girls to tag him". This is ridiculous, sorry but hahahaha. Good luck
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Yeah precisely which just goes to show its all been a bit of a game!
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@Leeeebra that is the problem though, he does take it seriously at the time, and this is apparently what he always does, I don't know if it's maybe because at the time he does think they are the one, so he just goes with the flow, or if he goes into it with the intention that it won't last. I'm not sure I will ever figure out why he does what he does. He was the one pursuing me, as tbh at the beginning I wasn't that into him, he wasn't my usual type, but he kind of grew on me as I got to know him better, he was a good guy, always willing to do anything for me, and I was the same with him, he was always saying about spending time together and we saw each other most nights, we were even looking at booking a holiday together in the summer. The sunday before he dumped me he was telling me how happy he was and how he loved me etc, they usually say Libra will weigh up the pro's and con's of a relationship to get the right balance, but to be honest him dumping me came totally out of the blue, there was no build up. Things had been going great, and see this is apparently what he does, he just dumps people out of the blue. In my personal opinion now I have had time to reflect on it, I think he panicked as we had got past 6 months lol, he's only ever had one long relationship that lasted 4 years, but he did say they argued alot, all his other relationships have ranged from days to 10 months maximum, he never sticks around long. One girl was buying him stuff for when he stayed over like toiletries and stuff, and he just dumped her, as he felt she was getting too much, but then he said the same thing to me, he was gonna buy me stuff for his place to save me having to bring it over all the time, so how do you work that one out?
His Dad has never really settled in a relationship and I think alot of his relationship issues stem from there. But he's 36 and not going to be able to meet people all the time, as his looks arn't going to last forever are they?
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Posted by rockyroadicecream
You need to understand that an apostrophe does not go at the end of any word that ends in an S. Only in possessive form and when it's a contraction.
That shit seriously makes me headdesk...

In regard to all of this and this "update," it's all trivial. Just like the last post. I get why you'd find it interesting, because it helps you piece things together, but don't make it a habit.
As far as you bringing someone along? Who knows. I want to say that my ex seemed to act a bit more "normal" when I saw him a few weeks back, as word has probably gotten around that I'm seeing someone (they're a gossipy bunch). However, just before I started seeing the current guy, I also had noticed that the ex was acting a bit better then as well. *shrugs*
In your situation, it's a little early to be determining which is which. Do whatever the hell you want. I don't know why you want approval. If you feel that taking this guy out is your way of showing that you're moving on, fine. However, I'm willing to bet that deep down you just want to do it to make the ex feel crappy. The way you went on about how good looking and "muscley" he is tells me that you're into showing this guy off to "prove" that you're moving on when you really aren't. You're 39 years old, not 15. Start acting like it.
How about you be single for awhile? Libra guys fuck with your head when things get to this point, whether it's intentional or not. You need a time out to regain your bearings.



+1
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Your best bet is to stop giving a fuck, tbh. In my situation, I had almost two years away from the guy to do my own thing, so it was a tad easier when I did finally see him for the first time. I wanted the same thing- non awkwardness. Was fine the first time that I saw him, but then after that he acted like an idiot. I got stuck in the loop of wondering wtf is going on and finally stopped caring because it was clear he had no idea wtf was going on with himself, tbh. Don't have time for that. I've had to deal with guys like him before and it's nothing but a headache. Instant turn off from even giving him anymore thought. I was tired of not enjoying myself when he was around because he made things that awkward.
I saw him on NYE- still the usual awkward behavior from him, again a few weeks later- more normal acting, and then like 2 weeks ago- probably the most "normal" I've seen him so far.
It was 3.5 years ago that we dated, and it's spotty when we see eachother- just to give you an idea how long it took to get to this point.
That said, as I've said before, you're allowed to go through the stages at this point, since it's still pretty fresh, but do your best to stop worrying. I know it's hard since water placements are so damned ridiculous like that, but you gotta kick your own ass to get a move on. I'm only telling you this because I had way too many tards here telling me the opposite of what I needed to hear, and all they did was give me fairytale false hope. I have a cancer moon, so I get where you're coming from though.
Have you considered keeping a journal to write all this in? Your thoughts are going to continue to do this until you feel like you've figured things out, but you're eventually not going to get many responses here anymore with the way you've been posting.
Also, stop putting so much stock in Facebook. It tells me where your maturity lies. Block him from your news feed and protect your posts so he can't see them. That's what I did in my situation. I dunno about you, but I left him on mine because if the situation of all the mutual friends. Other than that, I would have taken him off of mine in a heart beat. Instead, I did the block without taking him off- newsfeed block and protected posts. Made life easy. Not sure why you don't do the same- other than wanting to keep tabs on him.
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That said, this is the last I'll have to say on the matter.
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@Leeeebra, that sounds like being inspired by love. I love what you wrote there. A good thing to compare how your relationship is adding to your life or extracting from it.
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