Getting things back on track with Libra man

Hi everyone, this is my first post here…found this site when I was doing some reading about Libras last night. Seems like most people here are trying to figure out the people they are in relationships with. I am no different. I hope the Libras out there and the people who have insight into them can give me some advice. It is MUCH needed!

I have been seeing a Libra man for a few weeks. Not long at all. It was amazing in the beginning, and he was almost perfect. I was swept off my feet and felt like he could be “the one”. We met on Tinder, and almost immediately we both deleted our accounts and said that we were going to be exclusive. I am not quick to open up about my feelings as I have been hurt so many times in the past. But Libra man was affectionate, sweet, and prodded me a bit to tell him how I felt. I am a Leo, and I am extremely passionate and when I do say how I feel, I am 100% open and honest. I told Libra man that I was “kinda in love” with him. To me, loving someone is different than being in love, and being in love is different than “kinda in love”. And I meant it in a somewhat facetious way. I have feelings of the beginning stage of falling in love, but I am not in love with him. Libra man freaked out, saying he couldn’t believe I felt that after only seeing each other such a short time.
Long story short, things have been different between us since then. We are still talking, still seeing each other, but there has been a lot of game playing on both of our ends. After arguing nonstop and with things starting to sour, I told Libra man that I was going to take a step back and see other people. I had no intention of being into anyone except him, it was more about keeping myself busy and slowing things down between us after he pulled back. So I went on a date, and I was upfront and honest about it. Libra man then followed suit, going out with a woman he had met around the same time as me. He has been talking to this woman ever since then.
This past weekend, we didn’t see each other at all. He went out with her on Friday night, I went out with other men on Friday and Saturday. Libra man was not happy about that. On Sunday, I asked him to spend the day with me watching football. He declined my offer. Yesterday we got together to talk and decide if we want to try to work things out or go our separate ways. We decided that we want to give this another shot, but he did say that he is not ready to say he wants to be exclusive with me yet. I think seeing other people just adds additional complications between us that we don’t need, but I understood his feelings.
My issue now is that I found out he lied to me about seeing the other girl. When we were talking yesterday, he told me he was only with her on Friday, and was alone the rest of the weekend. I saw pictures of him at a party with her on Sunday, watching football. I was super hurt that he chose to hang out with her instead of me (but that could be because of m

Typical behavior. Move on.

Why the games if you both like each other?JSMH

Whoops....didn't realize it cut off the end of my post, here it is......

I was super hurt that he chose to hang out with her instead of me (but that could be because of my dates), and I am upset that he lied to me. I want this guy, and I do feel like I have contributed to the state of where we are- him not wanting to be exclusive. But the lie is eating away at me, and now doubt creeps into my head…am I now the backup girl, or is he simply reacting in turn to my behavior? My question is, how do I handle this?? Should I confront him? Should I let it go? And how do I proceed with him, to get things back on track? How do I get him to commit? I have been readily available, and continually let him know this is what I want. Should I back off and make him chase me a bit, or continue to try to show him this is what I want? Please help!

How do you get him to commit? Don't tell him you love him when you're weeks into the relationship, oh wait too late.......and to top it off, your take on taking it slow means seeing other people.....

Can you see how he's surprised that you say that you love him that he can't believe you said that so quick then you decide to see other people because you're insecure that he hasn't developed the same feelings as you.

I think you should bring up the lie to him and just break up with him, you're not gonna have a good relationship.

It doesn't matter. Why should she have to wait if he isn't serious about committing to her? He isn't doing it, makes him no better. OP, have you slept with him?

Posted by whodeymama
Whoops....didn't realize it cut off the end of my post, here it is......

I was super hurt that he chose to hang out with her instead of me (but that could be because of my dates), and I am upset that he lied to me. I want this guy, and I do feel like I have contributed to the state of where we are- him not wanting to be exclusive. But the lie is eating away at me, and now doubt creeps into my head…am I now the backup girl, or is he simply reacting in turn to my behavior? My question is, how do I handle this?? Should I confront him? Should I let it go? And how do I proceed with him, to get things back on track? How do I get him to commit? I have been readily available, and continually let him know this is what I want. Should I back off and make him chase me a bit, or continue to try to show him this is what I want? Please help!

You want something where it seems he doesn't know what he wants. The last thing you want is for him to make the decision to make things that much more serious, then dump you after three months. Will just make it that much harder to get over.

yep, I slept with him. And actually right now at this moment I'm getting some feedback from him that suggests I may now be the backup plan. I'm done with it.

Posted by whodeymama
yep, I slept with him. And actually right now at this moment I'm getting some feedback from him that suggests I may now be the backup plan. I'm done with it.

That's exactly what I thought. He took you for a test drive, got what he wanted out of it. Not to say you also didn't serve a part in it but this seems to be commonplace.

Why would he tell me yesterday that he wants us to work things out then? I don't understand people who aren't straightforward.

Posted by whodeymama
Why would he tell me yesterday that he wants us to work things out then? I don't understand people who aren't straightforward.

Because he wants to leave it at peace. He wants to be in control, regardless of what the fate of the 'relationship' is.

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/libra/what-is-my-libra-ex-boyfriend-actually-thinking-and-feeling-5788799/

You were the first one to tell him,, lets begin to see each other. I am sure he took it seriously. So it did it. I think you really like him but are exhausted with the arguments and bad stuff happening. This is so natural in relationships. No wonder it is always good to say at the begining stage that " you are getting feelings " rather than saying the "love", unless ofcourse the guy asks you "do you love me?"

You actually ended up getting hurt because you were the one at the first place to tell him we need to take a step back. So the guy now is doing what is needed. Seeing someone else and lying to you just so that you dont end up getting hurt. Its becomes complicated like any other relationship. You just need to relax now and think before you say anything to him. I am a libra. We libra's are light-hearted unlike earth signs.

In short you need to give him and yourself time. I would say, begin seeing others that way your mind will be diverted from him. But keep in touch with him.

you were the first one to tell him "lets begin to see others".............. *

Posted by shuba
You were the first one to tell him,, lets begin to see each other. I am sure he took it seriously. So it did it. I think you really like him but are exhausted with the arguments and bad stuff happening. This is so natural in relationships. No wonder it is always good to say at the begining stage that " you are getting feelings " rather than saying the "love", unless ofcourse the guy asks you "do you love me?"

You actually ended up getting hurt because you were the one at the first place to tell him we need to take a step back. So the guy now is doing what is needed. Seeing someone else and lying to you just so that you dont end up getting hurt. Its becomes complicated like any other relationship. You just need to relax now and think before you say anything to him. I am a libra. We libra's are light-hearted unlike earth signs.

In short you need to give him and yourself time. I would say, begin seeing others that way your mind will be diverted from him. But keep in touch with him.

Sorry typing error " lets begin to see others"

Posted by gemguyaz34
https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/libra/what-is-my-libra-ex-boyfriend-actually-thinking-and-feeling-5788799/

Whoa!!! I'm the typical Leo who fell for the Libra's game!

Posted by whodeymama

Posted by gemguyaz34
https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/libra/what-is-my-libra-ex-boyfriend-actually-thinking-and-feeling-5788799/

Whoa!!! I'm the typical Leo who fell for the Libra's game!

click to expand

They chase after the leo and leo moons I notice. I am a Gem but have a Leo moon.

What'd you expect for meeting someone on Tinder?

So many silly bitches coming in here, stating they met a guy on Tinder, and then are amazed when things don't work out.


...—?


Women seriously need to stop being so fucking delusional and making up shit in their heads. It's ridiculous. I had a friend who was just in town from out of country. Her main motivation for coming here was a guy she met online. She had built up so much about him in her head via the email contact they'd had (many of the messages had some romantic/sexual innuendo according to her), she ended up being disappointed that it didn't turn into the fling she'd been hoping for. He burst her bubble when he said he really didn't want to make this a thing and was fine with just being friends (and of course, this is after he got sex from her).

Meanwhile, I'd warned her not to move so fast and sleep with the guy because I know how she gets. Cue to me getting 22 text messages the next morning about her first night out with the guy and how disappointed she was in everything, including sleeping with him. Lo and behold, it also set the tone for the rest of her trip- he half assed plans with her and even just suggested coming over to "hang out" because he had work in the am (aka I want to fuck).

I seriously do not get why women do this to themselves. They flat out LIE and create this fantasy like life is a romantic comedy, but it's not. Maybe if you started living in reality more you'd have less issues when it comes to dating and how guys actually work.

Nvm, I see that you're also a Leo.

...'splains everything. *sigh* You women are such lost causes.

Posted by RainDancer

Posted by whodeymama
Whoops....didn't realize it cut off the end of my post, here it is......

I was super hurt that he chose to hang out with her instead of me (but that could be because of my dates), and I am upset that he lied to me. I want this guy, and I do feel like I have contributed to the state of where we are- him not wanting to be exclusive. But the lie is eating away at me, and now doubt creeps into my head…am I now the backup girl, or is he simply reacting in turn to my behavior? My question is, how do I handle this?? Should I confront him? Should I let it go? And how do I proceed with him, to get things back on track? How do I get him to commit? I have been readily available, and continually let him know this is what I want. Should I back off and make him chase me a bit, or continue to try to show him this is what I want? Please help!

Can you just tell him exactly what you told us?

Be open and frank.

" hey, I made a mistake going on a date with someone else, the whole time I thought about you. Let's give it another shot, are you in?"

click to expand

Yes this. Put your cards on the table and be very straight forward and direct. Also make it very clear that neither of you can date someone else whilst giving it another shot with each other.

From a book titled "The Power of the Yssup" Last word spell it backwards otherwise system will translate it to butter.

I interviewed ten single men, ages 18-43, and asked a very specific question, “Why do guys act like they want a girl to give it up, but then treat her badly when she does?” Their answers were brutally honest. They simply said, “Men don’t love sluts.”Read more at location 661

The woman they really want is the one who rejects them. They want to get the girl that’s a challenge and doesn’t give it up easily. The girl that makes him wait for it, work for it, and chase after it. The woman he falls in love with is the exact opposite of a slut, because men don’t fall in love with sluts.Read more at location 676

Men fall in love with ladies. Ladies who are mature enough to know they don’t have to have sex. Ladies who don’t even want to have sex quickly, because it’s an unladylike thing to do. The type of woman a man will love gives off a vibe that says loud and clear: “I’m not an easy girl and you’re going to have to put in some effort if you want a girl like me, because I’m very special.

Make them wait, make them work, make them pay, and then they will love you, appreciate you, and take good care of you.

If he is seeing someone else, and you already gave up the goods, it's a wrap.

Posted by whodeymama
yep, I slept with him. And actually right now at this moment I'm getting some feedback from him that suggests I may now be the backup plan. I'm done with it.

Women stop sleeping with the guy you want to make a commitment to you. Get a guy you don't like fucks his brains out, but hold out on the one you love. Especially if you are dealing with indecisive Libra men. Look I am drooling over this hideous I mean hideous Aquarius female. She likes me, but for the past 8 months she only gives me a little. When she calls or texts back i drop all women, all activities, all family and give my funny looking Valentine whatever she wants. She thinks I am "fine" and I think she is hideous, but my nose is wide open why? 1) She let's me pursue her 2) She will not give it up, yet we gradually move closer 3) She is very busy. As long as you don't give it up, you have the power. Wait until you get everything you want then open the legs. We will do anything for sex with a girl we like.. even marriage.

The sleeping with a man right away topic goes both ways. If I have any interest in a man long term I won't sleep with him for a long time (waited 4 months with my last bf, but keep in mind I'm in my late thirties). But there are some guys that you may be physically attracted to, but don't see long term potential. Those guys I may chose to have fun with, not caring if we ever talk again or not.
Libra man was just a fun for the night guy in my mind. But then he kept coming back around and I got to know him more. He pursued me heavily, and swept me off my feet. I don't think us having sex early was the cause...I think it was more when I told him that we needed to take a step back and slow down. When I went on a date with someone else, that's where I took a big misstep with him, I believe. We're still talking, but I think both of us are moving on.

Posted by Arielle83
I thought tinder was for slu.ts to get sex. Not for "I kinda love you" and commitment.

No wonder you two both had backup plans. I bet you both banged other ppl on hiatus from your "couple of week long relationship".

Tinder is for dating. At least the people I know and have met are utilizing it for dating/finding a relationship, not for sex.

Posted by whodeymama
The sleeping with a man right away topic goes both ways. If I have any interest in a man long term I won't sleep with him for a long time (waited 4 months with my last bf, but keep in mind I'm in my late thirties). But there are some guys that you may be physically attracted to, but don't see long term potential. Those guys I may chose to have fun with, not caring if we ever talk again or not.
Libra man was just a fun for the night guy in my mind. But then he kept coming back around and I got to know him more. He pursued me heavily, and swept me off my feet. I don't think us having sex early was the cause...I think it was more when I told him that we needed to take a step back and slow down. When I went on a date with someone else, that's where I took a big misstep with him, I believe. We're still talking, but I think both of us are moving on.

So what was the point of telling him that you made a mistake going out on a date with another dude!!—?
Any insecure person..man or woman is going to take that and run with it, and apparently he did.
If you all were on a hiatus from each other, it really wasn't any of his business who you went out with, therefore, you shared too much info...JSMH