Help with Libra guy

Hello all, could use some advice . I'm a Sag and having been dating a Libra a few months. We were getting along wonderfully spending at least 4 days a week together and talking everyday . He was doing 90 percent of the initiating and I was very happy . I met his sister , cousins and friends and things seem to be great .. No red flags . I was introduced to him from a friend of mine. Well a few weeks ago he started to become distant in the sense we were seeing each other less but still talking everyday but not as much . Two weeks ago I tried to reach him and heard nothing from him for 4 days . We are not exclusive , but agreed that's the direction we wanted to go but just letting things happen naturally . He said he was not interested in anyone else and I told him I was not either. After 4 days of silence he sends me a text saying he he has a lot going on and is trying to get some things together as it relates to his and life and sanity . And that it's nothing he wanted to drag me into . He tells me that I don't deserve to be ignored and he really likes me and thinks I'm a total sweetheart but to believe him when he is says he is doing me a favor by staying away lately . He then says he will call me soon and he is so sorry for his lack of communication and for being so closed off.. I tell him if he needs anything to call I'm here for him and to take care of himself . Well a week goes by and I calk and he finally calls back and he won't tell me what's going on and says he is not trying to talk to me like I'm Dr. Phil and he is just trying to get some things together and he just needs some time. I asked flat out if he just didn't want to date anymore , if he just doesn't want me in his life and he said that was not the case. I explained I feel he has completely shut me out and that this is really has been going on for weeks . He said that it wasn't me but that he just needs to get some things together and needs time. I really like this guy and I have not tried to reach him since our last conversation which was 4 days ago . I have many Libra male friends but haven't had a chance to speak to them about this . I am just so confused but it's hard not to take his distance personal . He said on his own that it has nothing to do with anyone else( I was thinking it but didn't ask because we had this conversation already ) His bday is the 15 th and we our suppose to got to dinner Thursday because he said he will be with his family Wednesday but should I still ta

Sorry got cut off, should I still take him to dinner ? I want to still have hope but to be honest I know how flaky he can be and I'm afraid he may cancel . It's been 3 weeks since we have seen each other . He had canceled on me a few times weeks ago before he told me he was dealing with some things . I'm so confused ..

i agree. leave him alone. when he comes back you can take him out for the birthday dinner that never was. hopefully by that point, things will have passed and he can fill you in on everything that has been happening.

So .. Should I just wish him happy birthday and leave it at that ? Not mention anything about dinner ?

I just want to handle this right , never had someone be so into to me and pull away like he has ? Is normal Libra stuff ? None of my guy friends have I ever dated so I was just curious . Do you think he would just come out and say he didn't want to date anymore if that was the case ?

I would send him a very brief text on his birthday to say that you hope he is maintaining a firm grip on his sanity and has a nice birthday and that's it. don't mention the dinner.

he might not come out and say he doesn't want to date any more but i don't think this is the case. you have really pressed on him on this issue. you have to trust him at his word that this is not about you. he's told you that repeatedly.

i would advise you to go about your thing. be happy in yourself and when he is ready he'll hit you up. if you continue to hassle him and he might just think it's just one more thing he doesn't need.

I can give him time , I guess I'm just hoping that he is being honest . Will take the advice about his birthday as well, I I'll let him mention it if he really wants to go .

Thank you

I've never pulled away that much. She gave him 3 weeks and they ain't seen each other. They only been together a "few months". When does "space" become a cowards break up?

I understand privacy and space but where's his respect for her? You can't just ignore someone for weeks and not even tell them why. Saying "it's personal" doesn't count, that just means I don't want to tell YOU.

I agree with "leave him alone" and "he asked for space, give it to him", but not with the idea she should be okay with it. After months of daily contact a person deserves more than a cold shoulder. Especially if he thinks there's gonna be a relationship to come back to.

You can certainly hope he is being honest but really your actions should be the same regardless of his honesty; leave him be and get on to what you were doing before you started dating.

If he comes back, great. If he doesn't, well you didn't waste time pining over something that didn't eventuate.

i don't think she should be happy with the situation but they are only dating. dipping in and out of each other's lives when it suits is a bit of a occupational hazard at this stage.

Ok haha, I just read the first few responses with kind of a "yeah, don't worry about it" vibe.

It's just hurtful to be honest..but I have no choice like you have all stated . I realize pushing will make it worse but if he wants out , no contact why not just say it .

Posted by sag 17
It's just hurtful to be honest..but I have no choice like you have all stated . I realize pushing will make it worse but if he wants out , no contact why not just say it .

Today you say it's hurtful. But would you open a thread on dxp also when you are hungry? Ok, as a baby you may have wanted. But not now.

It hurts? well it hurts. the life goes on nevertheless!!!!!! well, you may fear you'll die from heartache. true?

"why not just say it"
Don't lose your mind for what other people can/could/should do. Accept the word.
If he needs time for one year. And by then you don't like him any more, you'll say it to him. He'll accept your word.

Simple is simply simple.

I just wanted to add one more thing don't know if this means anything . The time before last I saw him and we trying to have sex and he could not perform ( if you what I mean ) .. We tried 5 times that night and he couldn't make it happen . I was understanding of course , no big deal that was the first time . Is that mental ? He just said he wasn't his self .

No I won't die , just hurts is all. He was wanting me around everyday , it's just such a drastic change . I'll be fine , but like you said Dwelling on moving on , it's just how you go from talking everyday to nothing with no explanation ...

Switch back to simple:


wait. just wait. there's nothing you can do for him. Please don't try to help him to solve the issue. the effect is more harmful.

I won't do anything

nice

Posted by LibraSid
I've never pulled away that much. She gave him 3 weeks and they ain't seen each other. They only been together a "few months". When does "space" become a cowards break up?

I understand privacy and space but where's his respect for her? You can't just ignore someone for weeks and not even tell them why. Saying "it's personal" doesn't count, that just means I don't want to tell YOU.

I agree with "leave him alone" and "he asked for space, give it to him", but not with the idea she should be okay with it. After months of daily contact a person deserves more than a cold shoulder. Especially if he thinks there's gonna be a relationship to come back to.

This.

Honey, welcome to the world of an immature, imbalanced Libra male. This is the classic "he lost interest/isn't sure if you're THE one" bit that they do. Because they do that. They jump in all fast and passionate, and then back off because "omgz, what am I doing?? Is she the one?? I DON'T KNOW OMG I'M HIDING UNDER THE BED UNTIL I KNOW."

Again, agreed with the distancing yourself. Do you and stop bothering with the guy. He'll come around when he's done being a dipshit. He might have personal stuff going on, but he clearly isn't that into you if he's allowing this to keep THIS much distance between you two. Even the ones I dated still managed to find time to keep in touch no matter what their schedules were like.

But when they behaved like this dude? They were losing interest and things ended shortly after. It's definitely the cowards way to break up- "fading out."

Just keep yourself busy doing you and try not to allow him to take up your head space.

Do they tend to go back to ex's ? I guess I'm wondering if it is someone , would he buy time to see more so for someone new or old ..

They do if they feel that they have "unfinished" business, but it doesn't really mean things will work out the second time. They just see the same issues arise and then cut it off themselves. When THEY cut the ties, then they feel it's all "done" and over with and won't look back.

Do your best to not think about the guy. Keep busy doing something so you can't dwell. It's bullshit and pure wtfery to have to deal with, but you'll have a hard time trying to understand because some people who are air signs are just such fucking messes. It's not worth trying to figure out. I learned that with a Libra ex. I just wanted some understanding to what the hell happened. I never got any sort of closure of the sorts or understanding, so I did my best to move along.

It took me hearing about/seeing him in a group of mutual friends to really understand that the dude just has some serious insecurity problems and probably has no idea what the hell he really wants in life. It was then that I was like wow, I have better understanding, but I now know that it's so not worth wondering about. Some people are just ridiculous by default and you just have to write them off as lost causes.

However, in your case, you just need to do you and see if he bothers coming around/what kind of shit that he wants to feed you to excuse his flaky, shitty behavior. From there, you can better judge what you should do to remedy the situation in what's best for YOU. Don't even worry about him because I highly doubt he's considering you or your well-being. Most immature guys don't think about anyone but themselves with this type of thing.

One more thing- if he comes back around and starts feeding you more "too busy" excuses, dude is NOT into you and has lost interest. Write the prick off and move along. ANY guy who keeps feeding you "too busy" excuses usually translates to "I'm not making time for you because I'm not that into you and I'm too pussy to do so."

Posted by rockyroadicecream
They do if they feel that they have "unfinished" business, but it doesn't really mean things will work out the second time. They just see the same issues arise and then cut it off themselves. When THEY cut the ties, then they feel it's all "done" and over with and won't look back.

Do your best to not think about the guy. Keep busy doing something so you can't dwell. It's bullshit and pure wtfery to have to deal with, but you'll have a hard time trying to understand because some people who are air signs are just such fucking messes. It's not worth trying to figure out. I learned that with a Libra ex. I just wanted some understanding to what the hell happened. I never got any sort of closure of the sorts or understanding, so I did my best to move along.

It took me hearing about/seeing him in a group of mutual friends to really understand that the dude just has some serious insecurity problems and probably has no idea what the hell he really wants in life. It was then that I was like wow, I have better understanding, but I now know that it's so not worth wondering about. Some people are just ridiculous by default and you just have to write them off as lost causes.

However, in your case, you just need to do you and see if he bothers coming around/what kind of shit that he wants to feed you to excuse his flaky, shitty behavior. From there, you can better judge what you should do to remedy the situation in what's best for YOU. Don't even worry about him because I highly doubt he's considering you or your well-being. Most immature guys don't think about anyone but themselves with this type of thing.

One more thing- if he comes back around and starts feeding you more "too busy" excuses, dude is NOT into you and has lost interest. Write the prick off and move along. ANY guy who keeps feeding you "too busy" excuses usually translates to "I'm not making time for you because I'm not that into you and I'm too pussy to do so."

Perfect.

Posted by Sugarfoot
A client of mine just told me that her libra bf of 4 years just did this. They were looking at houses the week before. They never argued and they were getting along very well. There were no signs that anything was wrong. So I guess just be glad that he figured out he doesn't need to be dating now before things progressed any further.

Technically, you guys weren't exclusive and its only been a few months. You were dating. More than likely things will not work out with whoever you're dating. Does it suck? Yes. But that's life and its something you and everyone else who is dating will go through over and over again.

Sags have a hard time coping with the fact that bad shit happens to them, too. When it does, it's like some enormous injustice has happened.

"HOW could anyone do this to ME??"

I get her confusion, but I just hope she can manage dealing with all of the emotional clusterfuck involved and not be like some of the other Sags here who just refuse to accept that the guy changed his mind with that "HOW DARE YOU?"mentality.

Also, your poor client. That's some pure bullshit to drag someone along for 4 years only to go "JUST KIDDING LOL."

Posted by size zero superhero
Sounds as though he's making a genuine effort to avoid burdening you with his struggles, which seemingly don't involve you directly.

Might appear that he's backing off in order to push you away yet it's likely the complete opposite--that is to say, ultimately he might be cooling off to tend to unrelated obstacles right now, so it won't interfere with your budding relationship.

Perhaps he's worried that by involving you in said messes, he could sabotage things early on thus making it seem like HIS personal problems have become the new theme in this developing union. Few want to be with someone that displays severe baggage from the getgo & maybe he's self-conscious of that matter.

(None of which implies that his hiatus will be permanent BTW. He may come around once the turbulence has died down a bit & some of his difficulties have been resolved)

BUT

If you don't appreciate him placing you on hold, as though everything must go according *his* ideal terms, then say so. Make it clear that this sudden silent streak is unfair to you & you no longer wish to be kept waiting indefinitely. Basically either he can open up a bit more, or you're done.

Point being; he may not realize that ultimately, he's pushing you away with his course of action rather than saving the relationship by sparing you the details of his woes. Let him know he needs to handle things differently if there's any hope of this working out--that's my only advice.

TOTALLY AGREE!

Thank you so much for all the advice. Though it's been hard , I haven't reached out . I didn't expect him to just go silent on me completely but I guess it is what it is because it's not for me to control. I get stuck in the "whys" of things but I am making peace with the fact that we will only talk if he reaches out . Sigh .. Smh it's weird when you're use to talking to someone everyday ...

Posted by sag 17
Thank you so much for all the advice. Though it's been hard , I haven't reached out . I didn't expect him to just go silent on me completely but I guess it is what it is because it's not for me to control. I get stuck in the "whys" of things but I am making peace with the fact that we will only talk if he reaches out . Sigh .. Smh it's weird when you're use to talking to someone everyday ...

That might be the hardest part for me. I just broke up with my ex wife again and fight the urge to talk daily. When someone gets to be part of your daily life like that, it sucks when they're suddenly gone.

Posted by Sugarfoot

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Also, your poor client. That's some pure bullshit to drag someone along for 4 years only to go "JUST KIDDING LOL."

Omg. It's bad. She looks like a skeleton and her hair was shedding. She's trying to act like she's ok with the break up and internalizing everything. There is no explaining something like what he did. All I can think it's that things became REAL for him once they started looking at houses. He must have decided he liked his single life better. But it was his idea to live together soOoo.. Idk wtf. And he's a 45 yro man too so can't use youth as an excuse. It's scary out here.

click to expand

Oh good lord, she needs to calm down. It's just dick.

And I agree. The guy sounds like he hasn't grown up and wants to stay a perpetual bachelor.

Posted by sag 17
Thank you so much for all the advice. Though it's been hard , I haven't reached out . I didn't expect him to just go silent on me completely but I guess it is what it is because it's not for me to control. I get stuck in the "whys" of things but I am making peace with the fact that we will only talk if he reaches out . Sigh .. Smh it's weird when you're use to talking to someone everyday ...

Been there, done that. I know where you're coming from. Just do your best to keep your mind preoccupied with something else. It usually helps me out when I don't want to overthink some asshat's behavior.

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by sag 17
Thank you so much for all the advice. Though it's been hard , I haven't reached out . I didn't expect him to just go silent on me completely but I guess it is what it is because it's not for me to control. I get stuck in the "whys" of things but I am making peace with the fact that we will only talk if he reaches out . Sigh .. Smh it's weird when you're use to talking to someone everyday ...

That might be the hardest part for me. I just broke up with my ex wife again and fight the urge to talk daily. When someone gets to be part of your daily life like that, it sucks when they're suddenly gone.

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JUST?

Come on, Sid. You can do better than her. Find someone who deserves your time/emotions.

Lol at that picture.

I'm good with everything though. I reached my limit and I ended it last weekend. The whole things has been a train wreck, but you all know that lol. We started talking again early this summer. A couple good months then back to the same old crap.

Yeah it sucks, but I'm not distraught like I was the first time. I'm well versed in feeling better after a breakup now, exercising more, eating better, having fun with kids and friends, all that good crap.

Posted by Sugarfoot

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by Sugarfoot

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Also, your poor client. That's some pure bullshit to drag someone along for 4 years only to go "JUST KIDDING LOL."

Omg. It's bad. She looks like a skeleton and her hair was shedding. She's trying to act like she's ok with the break up and internalizing everything. There is no explaining something like what he did. All I can think it's that things became REAL for him once they started looking at houses. He must have decided he liked his single life better. But it was his idea to live together soOoo.. Idk wtf. And he's a 45 yro man too so can't use youth as an excuse. It's scary out here.

Oh good lord, she needs to calm down. It's just dick.

And I agree. The guy sounds like he hasn't grown up and wants to stay a perpetual bachelor.

LOL. I can't say anything cause I've lost weight and a patch of hair over some dick too 😆

Well its deeper than that. She thought she was being so careful. She waited for 3 years to let him meet her son. So he was involved too. Apparently all the stress kicked off what might be Crohns disease.

I think the perpetual bachelor thing is it. She said his longest relationship before her was 6 weeks @_@. That says a lot right there.

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Aw, poor thing.

And wtf, that means he was, what, like 41 when she met him and he said that?

I would have run the other way.

Posted by tiziani

Posted by LibraSid
Lol at that picture.

I'm good with everything though. I reached my limit and I ended it last weekend. The whole things has been a train wreck, but you all know that lol. We started talking again early this summer. A couple good months then back to the same old crap.

Yeah it sucks, but I'm not distraught like I was the first time. I'm well versed in feeling better after a breakup now, exercising more, eating better, having fun with kids and friends, all that good crap.

"Keep going back until you can't take no more"

Best advice I ever read.

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I was joking with a friend the other day. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me this many damn times and I must be retarded.

So I found out through a mutual friend that it's someone else , a women from his past . I don't know all details but how should I proceed ? Of course, I'm not going to put myself in some love triangle but i guess I was put on hold because he is trying to figure this out . I'm just very upset that he wasn't honest with me because we weren't in a relationship and he could have just let me know .

It's quite interesting actually. Ever post I read involving a libra always starts off and ends the same way. They're there in the beginning and distant in the end. I'm wondering if that is a libra trait to start off strong and fizzle out when they lose interest or are they just incapable of being composed with their feelings because they're libra scales never seem to be balanced.

Just stringing you along for his own selfish needs ..

And there's always someone from the past involved eh. I'm dealing with a libra who started off so into me and now I'm thinking he's seeing his ex again.. I've asked, he says no but you begin to wonder if libras are really the good people they're suppose to be or have any intelligence at all. Because they don't want to hurt people's feeling I've read many times, yet they do the most ridiculous things to avoid doing so which makes things even worse..

I think you should leave this guy alone and I'll do the same. You don't deserve to be treated so poorly. And it doesn't seem like he's treating you well or even interested anymore.

He has unresolved feelings for her , and likes me a lot but I don't know .. This hurts because I'm where I'm at with these feelings because he contributed .. He pressured the hell out of me to let me in .

He likes you a lot but it doesn't seem he likes you enough to leave the past in the past and look towards the future it seems. He used his charm to get you in that position and I know it's difficult for you.. How long ago did they end whatever they had that they need to be reconciling now when he's was already involved with?

I'm not sure how long ago it ended . I know that his x he was with for 3 1/2 years ended last year in the summer . But he admitted that he was having a fling with a married women for two months that was separated .. A couple months before I met him .

Maybe it's her . The married one and maybe she is available now .. Should I let him know that I know —?

I think it may be a libra trait to also see if we can catch our prey. It's selfish to toy with people's emotions but sometimes getting someone to fancy us is all we are interested in. i know when i was younger i got a kick out of being able to switch on affections.

i have to admit, if i am honest, i still like the flirt where i can make guys a bit nervous or begin to get affected by me. i never push it too far but knowing you have that power can be a bit of a thrill.

Posted by size zero superhero

Posted by Sugarfoot
I think the perpetual bachelor thing is it. She said his longest relationship before her was 6 weeks @_@. That says a lot right there.

Seriously, in what way could someone possibly be desirable after hearing that revelation...and at his age?! NO

I suppose some misguided women would interpret that as a challenge, rather than seeing it as the monumental fail it generally is.

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"BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. I CAN FIX HIM!!!! I WILL BE THE WOMAN TO MAKE HIM SETTLE DOWN!!"

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by tiziani

Posted by LibraSid
Lol at that picture.

I'm good with everything though. I reached my limit and I ended it last weekend. The whole things has been a train wreck, but you all know that lol. We started talking again early this summer. A couple good months then back to the same old crap.

Yeah it sucks, but I'm not distraught like I was the first time. I'm well versed in feeling better after a breakup now, exercising more, eating better, having fun with kids and friends, all that good crap.

"Keep going back until you can't take no more"

Best advice I ever read.

I was joking with a friend the other day. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me this many damn times and I must be retarded.

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+1

A trend I've noticed with a lot of Libra guys when it comes to dealing with women.

To date, the bartender I worked with and the ex take the cake when it comes to total retardation with women.

Bartender- Knocked up some chick within a few dates, which makes her baby mama #2. They decide to continue dating/whatever. Things were clearly already a problem early on and he always complained about her crazy. He marries her anyway and wonders why his marriage is a trainwreck.

The ex- Puts the girlfriend title on a chick who's rep is the town bicycle. She's also a 21 year old recovering addict. She relapsed, cheated on him, and caught gonorrhoea from her dealer, so the libra had to get tested as well. Oh, and the reason she cheated was because she uses sex to pay for drugs. ...as well as selling all the expensive gifts he got her (he's an idiot).

...I love karma. It may be slow to work but when it kicks in, holy jebus haha.

Both are really nice guys and could do so much better/deserve better. But THIS is who they choose for women. It's mind boggling.

Hope all works out for you though, dude. You seem like a cool guy and deserve a non crazy bitch of a woman to be in a relationship with.

Posted by sag 17
He has unresolved feelings for her , and likes me a lot but I don't know .. This hurts because I'm where I'm at with these feelings because he contributed .. He pressured the hell out of me to let me in .

This is classic immature guy here. They think they know what they want, but they don't.

It's maddening that someone has so little regard for your feelings and is only concerned about THEIR wants and needs. This type of guy just treats you as if you're an old toy and tosses you into the toy box, never to be played with again.

These guys always have options around. I'm not surprised that this panned out like it did, tbh. It should help you move on, tbh. He's treating you like an option? What the hell is up with that shit? Why would you want to continue pining over someone like that? It's total bs and you have every right to be pissy and upset and wonder wtf his problem is. BUT why would you want to keep someone like that around that treats you like an option when you want something more serious from them?

Dude isn't relationship material for you at all.

Posted by Smerrose
And there's always someone from the past involved eh. I'm dealing with a libra who started off so into me and now I'm thinking he's seeing his ex again.. I've asked, he says no but you begin to wonder if libras are really the good people they're suppose to be or have any intelligence at all. Because they don't want to hurt people's feeling I've read many times, yet they do the most ridiculous things to avoid doing so which makes things even worse..

I think you should leave this guy alone and I'll do the same. You don't deserve to be treated so poorly. And it doesn't seem like he's treating you well or even interested anymore.

You're learning!

Posted by jeane
I think it may be a libra trait to also see if we can catch our prey. It's selfish to toy with people's emotions but sometimes getting someone to fancy us is all we are interested in. i know when i was younger i got a kick out of being able to switch on affections.

i have to admit, if i am honest, i still like the flirt where i can make guys a bit nervous or begin to get affected by me. i never push it too far but knowing you have that power can be a bit of a thrill.

Weren't you one of the ones in the "misunderstood" thread where the bad traits were brought up and you were making it out to be that being nice and flirting was just "innocent" fun?

...yet here you are, admitting to using this tactic as a form of manipulation for your own selfish needs.

You just proved AQ09's point beautifully.

Posted by sag 17
I'm not sure how long ago it ended . I know that his x he was with for 3 1/2 years ended last year in the summer . But he admitted that he was having a fling with a married women for two months that was separated .. A couple months before I met him .

Wait, so you decided to start dating a guy who was willingly in a questionable relationship?

Honey, you're stupid. You saw red flags but ignored them.

Posted by sag 17
Maybe it's her . The married one and maybe she is available now .. Should I let him know that I know —?

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No.

I don't think you should bother saying anything. Confrontation will make him push you away even faster that's how libras are they try to avoid conflict. It's very unlikely that he will say anything to you. It seems he wants you and whomever both present because he's still deciding who he wants more. But it's just really unfair and not a lot of people can handle situations like that without giving up or getting furious with the person.

Posted by sag 17
So I found out through a mutual friend that it's someone else , a women from his past . I don't know all details but how should I proceed ? Of course, I'm not going to put myself in some love triangle but i guess I was put on hold because he is trying to figure this out . I'm just very upset that he wasn't honest with me because we weren't in a relationship and he could have just let me know .

Honestly, I feel like he was as honest as he needed to be. He told you he needed time to work through some things, and he'd acknowledged being distant towards you. That is more than enough of an explanation for someone you are not in a committed relationship with, I think your gripe is that the "thing" he needs to work through is in fact another woman. He probably does like you, but is vacillating bc he has love/history whatev, with this other woman.

The only way you can proceed is how everyone has been telling you to before you found out it was another woman, STAY AWAY. Do not confront him on this issue, bc you'll look kinda crazy imo & technically he didn't lie. He didn't have to offer the little information that he did, seeing as how you all are not in a relationship, most of the men I know wouldn't have said a thing. However, I do know that it hurts the same, even if there was no title on what you had.

This kind of thing happens all the time, you break things off with someone thinking it's for good & meet someone else. Then you rekindle things with the ex, nobody plans this, it just happens. & if you're just seeing someone but not in a relationship "no harm no foul". So I don't get why people are making him out to be a bad guy bc of this.

You can only control your actions & your actions need to be to proceed with life & move on. He may come back around, whether or not you'll still want him is something only time will tell. IF he does come around, & you're interested in making things work, you need to make him jump through hoops to gain your affections again. You're not some toy he can pick up and put down at random, you're a person with feelings. Let him know that. Make him work!

I just read the part about the married woman. OH MY, this is a horse of a different color...
Maybe you should forget about him & fast!