How Can I Get My Libra Ex Back?
This topic was created in the Libra forum by GeminiGal on Saturday, March 10, 2012 and has 18 replies.
I posted this in another forum, but I feel like it fits better here. I apologize for reposting. Anyway, I'll copy and paste what I already wrote:
I dated a Libra for 2.5 years. Things moved very quickly, and we now have one child together...and another one on the way.
The beginning was perfect...seriously, completely perfect. It was like no other relationship I had ever been in. As soon as things got serious, he changed a lot. He would become cold and distant at times. A week after he told me he loved me, he said he needed a break. The day we moved in together, he stopped saying "I love you" again and didn't say it for 5 months -in fact, he insisted he no longer loved me but still said we had a great relationship and wanted to stay together. When he finally said it again, he told me that he had loved me the whole time and didn't know why he kept saying he didn't.
I'm a Gemini. I understand that people can unintentionally be fickle and flaky. That's why I was able to put up with this for so long. He was really a jerk at times, though - and it literally took him months to admit he was wrong and apologize for things that he did throughout the relationship.
Anyway, we had a very bad breakup. Very, very bad and full of drama. The police even got involved because he was so angry and loud that somebody called.
After the breakup, we didn't talk for 3 months and became involved in a big legal mess for custody. He made it his mission to make my life very stressful, spying on me online and literally sending every little thing I did to his lawyer to use against me in court. I'm talking super small stuff. I testified against him at one point in time, which was hard (regarding the night the police came). I just felt that I had to because he was fighting so hard against me. During this time, I still cared very much and wanted him back - I can handle a lot of drama in relationships and if I care about you, I will forgive easily. If I don't, watch out. Ha.
I dated a Libra for 2.5 years. Things moved very quickly, and we now have one child together...and another one on the way.
The beginning was perfect...seriously, completely perfect. It was like no other relationship I had ever been in. As soon as things got serious, he changed a lot. He would become cold and distant at times. A week after he told me he loved me, he said he needed a break. The day we moved in together, he stopped saying "I love you" again and didn't say it for 5 months -in fact, he insisted he no longer loved me but still said we had a great relationship and wanted to stay together. When he finally said it again, he told me that he had loved me the whole time and didn't know why he kept saying he didn't.
I'm a Gemini. I understand that people can unintentionally be fickle and flaky. That's why I was able to put up with this for so long. He was really a jerk at times, though - and it literally took him months to admit he was wrong and apologize for things that he did throughout the relationship.
Anyway, we had a very bad breakup. Very, very bad and full of drama. The police even got involved because he was so angry and loud that somebody called.
After the breakup, we didn't talk for 3 months and became involved in a big legal mess for custody. He made it his mission to make my life very stressful, spying on me online and literally sending every little thing I did to his lawyer to use against me in court. I'm talking super small stuff. I testified against him at one point in time, which was hard (regarding the night the police came). I just felt that I had to because he was fighting so hard against me. During this time, I still cared very much and wanted him back - I can handle a lot of drama in relationships and if I care about you, I will forgive easily. If I don't, watch out. Ha.
We saw each other for the first time in 3 months yesterday, at an event for our child. We sat together and began talking as if nothing had happened - very surprising, considering how quickly this man had erased me from his life after he left and how cruel he had been during the court stuff (some of which is still going on). He was very nice and walked me to my car, even offering to help carry some of our child's stuff. When we got there, he noticed I had some trash in my trunk. He took the trash without being asked and said goodbye.
I texted him shortly after with a question about our child. He responded, and I kept it brief and thanked him. A few minutes after that, he texted and asked if I had his game. I told him he had taken all the video games with him when he moved out. He said, "No, it's a computer game". Okay...my ex NEVER played computer games...and I didn't even know he owned this game. I told him he could come get it whenever. He said, "Okay, I'll come soon" (I assumed "soon" meant in a week or so". He was literally at my house 5 minutes later.
We talked for 45 minutes and then he left for work. We were texting shortly after that, and then I called him (because I knew he was driving to work and couldn't text). On the phone, he said, "I'd like to sit down and have a talk about the last few months and how we both feel about everything". I said, "Okay, with our counselor?" (we had seen a counselor a couple times, though it didn't help at all). He said, "No, I want to have a candid talk with you one on one and put everything on the table so we're all on the same page". I agreed, but I was shocked...because my Libra NEVER EVER EVER wanted to discuss important issues. That's part of what caused so many problems in our relationship. And I told him that. He said, "Yes, but this situation constitutes a sit down talk so we're on the same page".
That was yesterday. We are supposed to meet up and talk soon when our child is with a babysitter or family member (so we won't be interrupted). I really miss my ex, even though he was a total jerk at times. We are about to have 2 children together, so I would really like to fix this. Is it a good sign that he wants to talk about stuff? Is this fixable? Any specific things I should ask during our talk, and is it okay to say that I hope we can reconcile one day?
I texted him shortly after with a question about our child. He responded, and I kept it brief and thanked him. A few minutes after that, he texted and asked if I had his game. I told him he had taken all the video games with him when he moved out. He said, "No, it's a computer game". Okay...my ex NEVER played computer games...and I didn't even know he owned this game. I told him he could come get it whenever. He said, "Okay, I'll come soon" (I assumed "soon" meant in a week or so". He was literally at my house 5 minutes later.
We talked for 45 minutes and then he left for work. We were texting shortly after that, and then I called him (because I knew he was driving to work and couldn't text). On the phone, he said, "I'd like to sit down and have a talk about the last few months and how we both feel about everything". I said, "Okay, with our counselor?" (we had seen a counselor a couple times, though it didn't help at all). He said, "No, I want to have a candid talk with you one on one and put everything on the table so we're all on the same page". I agreed, but I was shocked...because my Libra NEVER EVER EVER wanted to discuss important issues. That's part of what caused so many problems in our relationship. And I told him that. He said, "Yes, but this situation constitutes a sit down talk so we're on the same page".
That was yesterday. We are supposed to meet up and talk soon when our child is with a babysitter or family member (so we won't be interrupted). I really miss my ex, even though he was a total jerk at times. We are about to have 2 children together, so I would really like to fix this. Is it a good sign that he wants to talk about stuff? Is this fixable? Any specific things I should ask during our talk, and is it okay to say that I hope we can reconcile one day?
Ahhhh, now he is "poking" me on Facebook even though we aren't friends on there - I didn't even know you could do that. Here we go again. I have been playing this game with him for long enough that I shouldn't even need the advice of this forum. Sigh. Those Libras, they're something else. It's hard not to love them.
Sorry you are going through this, and I wish I could advise you to try to make it work since
there are kids involved. Of course only you know all the ends and outs but I would highly
recommend that you be very very careful. Does he have any scorpio in his chart? Especially
venus?
"...the police even got involved..." "...big legal mess..." "...spying on me online, and literally sending
every little thing I did to his lawyer to use against me in court..." "...how cruel he had been during the
court stuff (some of which is still going on..."
Now he wants to have a sit down talk - with no else, like a mediator, present????? And he is poking you
on facebook even though you two are not FB friends????? Did he actually retrieve a computer game?
You two have 2 children together which makes it vitally important to have a cordial, drama free, unselfish
relationship for their sake. I would just recommend to keep in in the forefront of your mind that he may use
any information he can against you. He has already shown you this. What does your attorney advise about
this private talk your ex wants to have??
Try to step back from your emotions a bit and see if you can look at him and y'alls past from a clearer
perspective. I realize this is not easy, but do your best. The way you described the overall picture of when
you were a couple sounds not at all like love to me. I am sorry if this makes you more sad. That is not my
intention, at all!! I hope you can be happy and content very soon! Please just be careful!!
there are kids involved. Of course only you know all the ends and outs but I would highly
recommend that you be very very careful. Does he have any scorpio in his chart? Especially
venus?
"...the police even got involved..." "...big legal mess..." "...spying on me online, and literally sending
every little thing I did to his lawyer to use against me in court..." "...how cruel he had been during the
court stuff (some of which is still going on..."
Now he wants to have a sit down talk - with no else, like a mediator, present????? And he is poking you
on facebook even though you two are not FB friends????? Did he actually retrieve a computer game?
You two have 2 children together which makes it vitally important to have a cordial, drama free, unselfish
relationship for their sake. I would just recommend to keep in in the forefront of your mind that he may use
any information he can against you. He has already shown you this. What does your attorney advise about
this private talk your ex wants to have??
Try to step back from your emotions a bit and see if you can look at him and y'alls past from a clearer
perspective. I realize this is not easy, but do your best. The way you described the overall picture of when
you were a couple sounds not at all like love to me. I am sorry if this makes you more sad. That is not my
intention, at all!! I hope you can be happy and content very soon! Please just be careful!!
Your question should be "Will this guy change?"
Don't think so and even if you got back together for a few more months or even another year. He'll repeat what has happened previously in your relationship.
Has he owned up to his wrongdoings? Or has he conveniently just ignored because it's just too damned hard to talk about it and resolve and fix it?
These are some of the questions you should be asking yourself. It's almost predictable what's going to happen and you will by then have 2 children and will be back to square 1. Hurting and having to heal all over again.
Stay on good terms for the children but severe him from your heart!
Don't think so and even if you got back together for a few more months or even another year. He'll repeat what has happened previously in your relationship.
Has he owned up to his wrongdoings? Or has he conveniently just ignored because it's just too damned hard to talk about it and resolve and fix it?
These are some of the questions you should be asking yourself. It's almost predictable what's going to happen and you will by then have 2 children and will be back to square 1. Hurting and having to heal all over again.
Stay on good terms for the children but severe him from your heart!
Hi There!
Of course its okay to say you would like to reconcile one day. The problem is, he is not ready yet. Im sorry hun but people don??t change over night, especially Libra's. We take ages, even decades to make up our mind about the simplest things, sadly that includes relationships which explains why he's hot one minute and ice cold the next. If you have this talk with your Libra stay on your p's and queues, and watch him. They are notoriously clever with the words, and very good at buttering up the partners and using it to their advantage once we know your weakness. So pay more attention to his action, they will mostly likely tell you true lining of his words. If your weakness is us, well that could be a good thing or bad thing, it all depends on the person outside of their sign, and the basis of the relationship. Your situation sort of soars above this whole zodiac thing. Zodiac is based off the position of stars, planets, the moon and the stars when you were born. God created all of that so I'm not sure what your religion is, but I strongly suggest you get God involved especially since there are innocent children in the mix as well. A relationship in my opinion is dead without him anyway. If it's not meant and not in his plan, it will never EVER work you can bet your last on that. If you and your ex are serious then you need to pray together. See what's up with the bigger plan outside of you two plans. Go to church get the kids involved. It may teach you things about your partner as well as the relationship that you never noticed before. It sort of puts a pair of glasses on you, when you're blinded by emotions and feelings. Think about it, and mention it to your Libra. Be one another's friends, and support system before trying a relationship again. I mean really, just because you have child on the way doesn't mean you have to force a relationship only for it to be another failed attempt, and your kids get hurt by seeing you fight or argue. You need to try being just friends. No sex, none of that, just try being there for the other. When he's weak you be his back bone, and vise versa. This is fixable, but you have a lot of things you need to take into effect. And I can assure you, jumping back into a relationship with him just because you want it so bad, is not going to do it. It WILL fail. Love is not always enough to make a relationship last. You can love someone and not be together.
Of course its okay to say you would like to reconcile one day. The problem is, he is not ready yet. Im sorry hun but people don??t change over night, especially Libra's. We take ages, even decades to make up our mind about the simplest things, sadly that includes relationships which explains why he's hot one minute and ice cold the next. If you have this talk with your Libra stay on your p's and queues, and watch him. They are notoriously clever with the words, and very good at buttering up the partners and using it to their advantage once we know your weakness. So pay more attention to his action, they will mostly likely tell you true lining of his words. If your weakness is us, well that could be a good thing or bad thing, it all depends on the person outside of their sign, and the basis of the relationship. Your situation sort of soars above this whole zodiac thing. Zodiac is based off the position of stars, planets, the moon and the stars when you were born. God created all of that so I'm not sure what your religion is, but I strongly suggest you get God involved especially since there are innocent children in the mix as well. A relationship in my opinion is dead without him anyway. If it's not meant and not in his plan, it will never EVER work you can bet your last on that. If you and your ex are serious then you need to pray together. See what's up with the bigger plan outside of you two plans. Go to church get the kids involved. It may teach you things about your partner as well as the relationship that you never noticed before. It sort of puts a pair of glasses on you, when you're blinded by emotions and feelings. Think about it, and mention it to your Libra. Be one another's friends, and support system before trying a relationship again. I mean really, just because you have child on the way doesn't mean you have to force a relationship only for it to be another failed attempt, and your kids get hurt by seeing you fight or argue. You need to try being just friends. No sex, none of that, just try being there for the other. When he's weak you be his back bone, and vise versa. This is fixable, but you have a lot of things you need to take into effect. And I can assure you, jumping back into a relationship with him just because you want it so bad, is not going to do it. It WILL fail. Love is not always enough to make a relationship last. You can love someone and not be together.
@ Alibra
can you pls add paragraphs to your answers so they are easier to read Always enjoy reading your answers but find it difficult to focus and not read sentences twice over. Ta
can you pls add paragraphs to your answers so they are easier to read
Always enjoy reading your answers but find it difficult to focus and not read sentences twice over. Ta@Sweethearts, HA! Its funny you should say that, In my other post, i started putting paragraphs. lol, They were even getting hard for me to read. LOL!
Well. He says he wants to fix things, which did kind of surprise me. Not because I think he doesn't care, but because it's hard to get him to ever make up his mind about wanting to do anything.
The plan is to take it very slowly and work out all of the issues...and there are a lot of them. He has apologized for some of the things, but not all of them. We haven't made it to all of the topics yet, though, and we've been talking for hours each day. We have a lot of talking to do over the next few months.
He said that he "secretly thinks it was a good thing" (regarding all the drama we went through) and that things are much better between us now. I agree that they are better - he finally communicates. He's said more to me in one week about his thoughts and feelings than he did in the years we were together.
I've noticed he uses the word "fair" a lot. I mentally laugh every time, because I learned that Libras love that word after reading this forum for awhile.
And ALibra, it's so hard not to jump back into things. I know the only way we'll have a good relationship is if we fix our problems and move veryyyyyyyy slowly, but it's so hard when emotions are involved. I'm a very emotional person. I am jealous of how easily Libras seem to hide theirs.
The plan is to take it very slowly and work out all of the issues...and there are a lot of them. He has apologized for some of the things, but not all of them. We haven't made it to all of the topics yet, though, and we've been talking for hours each day. We have a lot of talking to do over the next few months.
He said that he "secretly thinks it was a good thing" (regarding all the drama we went through) and that things are much better between us now. I agree that they are better - he finally communicates. He's said more to me in one week about his thoughts and feelings than he did in the years we were together.
I've noticed he uses the word "fair" a lot. I mentally laugh every time, because I learned that Libras love that word after reading this forum for awhile.
And ALibra, it's so hard not to jump back into things. I know the only way we'll have a good relationship is if we fix our problems and move veryyyyyyyy slowly, but it's so hard when emotions are involved. I'm a very emotional person. I am jealous of how easily Libras seem to hide theirs.
^^what Alibra said!
Umm did she just say easy? Lol. Girl it is not easy for us to hide our feelings that why we disappear to avoid showing them if we feel that are not mutual or will be used against us, hence our flighty. Airy attitude towards things. If we don??t get the reaction we felt we deserve or wanted we "Act" as though we don??t care, but if you truly know your libra you will be able to sense that something is not right with them. My Aries does this all the time, even when I don??t want him to. It's like he see's straight through me with those sexy eyes of his (oops getting off topic.lol) back to you,
I completely understand that it's hard not to jump back into things, but you need to look at your history with this guy and see how jumping into things has worked out for you two in the past. From what I read, it's not good. Sound like to me you two are doing very good, communication is key and getting a better understanding of the other person. You both get so excited about the other that you snatch each other up, but answer me this??_if you love each other so much and want each other that bad, then what's the rush?? You're obviously not going anywhere and neither is he. Not to mention you have kids together, you have time and in my opinion you need to take advantage of that time.
Try this though, you both should list out the things you can't do without in a relationship no matter what. But be truly honest while doing this. Then list out the things you know you could compromise and do without. Remember in a relationship no one is perfect, and you're never going to get 100% of what you want.
I completely understand that it's hard not to jump back into things, but you need to look at your history with this guy and see how jumping into things has worked out for you two in the past. From what I read, it's not good. Sound like to me you two are doing very good, communication is key and getting a better understanding of the other person. You both get so excited about the other that you snatch each other up, but answer me this??_if you love each other so much and want each other that bad, then what's the rush?? You're obviously not going anywhere and neither is he. Not to mention you have kids together, you have time and in my opinion you need to take advantage of that time.
Try this though, you both should list out the things you can't do without in a relationship no matter what. But be truly honest while doing this. Then list out the things you know you could compromise and do without. Remember in a relationship no one is perfect, and you're never going to get 100% of what you want.
Leave !!!! Just leave! He wont Change they lie
Look the best advice I can give u cuz u have kids is to forget him n NEVER ASK HIM FOR MONEY OR ANYTHING ! look n I noe alot of girls think like well he's the father he has to get this NO pick up ur fucken pride where he stepped all over it then do what's necessary for ur children with out him u can get child support along ass u have no contact with him n u personally don't ask for it ur a gemini women u r strong and independent ! It's in ur nature but leave him behind n move on he won't change forever he's either one way from the start or nuthin at all dont ask him for advice keep it short n simple he will throw u under the bus to save his own ass take ur kids n move on !
It's been almost exactly a year since I posted this, so I thought I'd come back and update. He hasn't changed at all, and the last year has been a depressing mix of ups and downs.
He plays so many games. SO. MANY. GAMES. We haven't went on a date in 8 months yet he insists that he cares about me and wants to get back together. He goes out at least 3 times a week with his friends, so it's not like he's just a broke guy who hates going places.
We have been having sex once or twice a week for almost a year now because I'm an idiot. I thought we were an item. He deletes and blocks me on Facebook without warning constantly. I am deleted right now, actually. He does this every time I bring up an issue. For example, last night I told him that 8 months with no alone time other than sitting at my house and having sex is not enough if he truly wants a relationship with me. I woke up to find that I was deleted on Facebook. (Note: The Facebook thing is actually a big deal because he's very into social networking). It hurts me deeply when he does things like this, and he does them all the time.
He sucks with being there for the kids. We made a custody agreement and had a court make it official so that we'd each have time with our children while we worked on getting back together. He only shows up for 1 of his 3 scheduled days with them and then usually drops them off early or ditches them with Grandma.
You might be reading all of this and wondering why I still bother to try. Trust me, I often wonder the same thing. I'm usually so confident and independent, but I let this "relationship" turn me into a wreck.
Oh, and he texts/calls/emails all day, every day. I'd say I get at least 200 messages a day from him. Tells me good morning and good night. Acts all sweet on the phone. I'm so confused by his behavior. Why spend your entire day talking to me nonstop and then refuse to take me out in public? Why claim you want to fix our relationship but refuse to discuss our issues or work on changing? I just don't get it. If you're in love with a Libra and thinking about leaving, do it. Go now. It's not worth it.
He plays so many games. SO. MANY. GAMES. We haven't went on a date in 8 months yet he insists that he cares about me and wants to get back together. He goes out at least 3 times a week with his friends, so it's not like he's just a broke guy who hates going places.
We have been having sex once or twice a week for almost a year now because I'm an idiot. I thought we were an item. He deletes and blocks me on Facebook without warning constantly. I am deleted right now, actually. He does this every time I bring up an issue. For example, last night I told him that 8 months with no alone time other than sitting at my house and having sex is not enough if he truly wants a relationship with me. I woke up to find that I was deleted on Facebook. (Note: The Facebook thing is actually a big deal because he's very into social networking). It hurts me deeply when he does things like this, and he does them all the time.
He sucks with being there for the kids. We made a custody agreement and had a court make it official so that we'd each have time with our children while we worked on getting back together. He only shows up for 1 of his 3 scheduled days with them and then usually drops them off early or ditches them with Grandma.
You might be reading all of this and wondering why I still bother to try. Trust me, I often wonder the same thing. I'm usually so confident and independent, but I let this "relationship" turn me into a wreck.
Oh, and he texts/calls/emails all day, every day. I'd say I get at least 200 messages a day from him. Tells me good morning and good night. Acts all sweet on the phone. I'm so confused by his behavior. Why spend your entire day talking to me nonstop and then refuse to take me out in public? Why claim you want to fix our relationship but refuse to discuss our issues or work on changing? I just don't get it. If you're in love with a Libra and thinking about leaving, do it. Go now. It's not worth it.
Also, he says he feels "pressured" when I tell him that he needs to take me out alone. I could understand that if I brought it up all the time, but I don't. I think that sitting at home for 8 months while somebody who supposedly cares about you goes out with his friends is just ridiculous. What a waste of 2012/2013. I'm very angry and bitter now, yes. And when we were "officially" together, let me tell you that this man could not do ANYTHING alone. He HATED going places alone. We went on multiple dates each month, plus I went with him to register for classes, get groceries, visit the doctor, etc. Now suddenly he claims that he sees a weekly movie alone and that he never goes out, yet I see him tagged on Facebook at different places almost every night.
Sometimes I wish he'd just go away. As I stated in my last post, I don't get why he talks to me all day...like literally nonstop texts/calls from morning to night...yet refuses to take me out in public. I have suspected that he's dating other girls but he swears that I'm the only girl he even talks to. He says that there's nobody else he wants and that he wants to fix our relationship, so why isn't he fixing it? I'm frustrated and confused and depressed.
Sometimes I wish he'd just go away. As I stated in my last post, I don't get why he talks to me all day...like literally nonstop texts/calls from morning to night...yet refuses to take me out in public. I have suspected that he's dating other girls but he swears that I'm the only girl he even talks to. He says that there's nobody else he wants and that he wants to fix our relationship, so why isn't he fixing it? I'm frustrated and confused and depressed.
Signed Up: Mar 30, 2012
Comments: 1243 · Posts: 16617 · Topics: 170
Comments: 1243 · Posts: 16617 · Topics: 170
He's got other girls on the side. The signs are classic
What are the signs, RockyRoad? I'm so confused by his actions that I can't pinpoint which signs actually mean he has girls on the side.
Signed Up: Mar 30, 2012
Comments: 1243 · Posts: 16617 · Topics: 170
Comments: 1243 · Posts: 16617 · Topics: 170
Never going out and keeping everything at home.
The asshole behavior.
The whole "omgz pressure" when asking legitimate questions about you two. All evasive and shit. Lies about where he is.
The fact that you've stuck around this long has told him that he can do this to you and get away with it.
The asshole behavior.
The whole "omgz pressure" when asking legitimate questions about you two. All evasive and shit. Lies about where he is.
The fact that you've stuck around this long has told him that he can do this to you and get away with it.
Leave Your Feedback
We'd love to hear your thoughts! If you're not logged in, you can still share your feedback below. Your input helps us improve the experience for everyone. To post your own content or join the conversation, please log in or create an account.
Related Topics
hi what's up?
@ShahBano
Joined: Mar 01, 2012 · Topics: 16 · Posts: 637
got chatting with a second man from this dating site i reluctantly joined, the first man turning out to be my colleague
@R1g0rM0rT1s
Joined: Feb 04, 2012 · Topics: 111 · Posts: 3039
This gets long, and I apologize. I dated a Libra for 2.5 years. Things moved very quickly, and we now have one child tog
@GeminiGal
Joined: Mar 10, 2012 · Topics: 3 · Posts: 14
So i was looking at extended charts and such and it says that my Juno is in Capricorn.. Does that mean that sign is what
@CancerianGoddess
Joined: May 17, 2008 · Topics: 279 · Posts: 1963
So we all know generally a what Mercury Retro brings...communication breakdowns, misunderstandings, problems with transp
@MissPirate
Joined: Aug 05, 2008 · Topics: 108 · Posts: 3918
i need a laugh. a seriously long hard laugh (in the absence of other long hard matter, lol). any suggestions for movie
@R1g0rM0rT1s
Joined: Feb 04, 2012 · Topics: 111 · Posts: 3039
I should of listened leave her alone! Now she's telling immates when she get out she gonna kill me or herself wow! I got
@v s o p
Joined: Oct 03, 2008 · Topics: 165 · Posts: 502
Was always wondering what the MC on my chart meant, today looked up in wiki and found this really interesting and smth t
@Springmood
Joined: Feb 22, 2012 · Topics: 12 · Posts: 216
Was always wondering what the MC on my chart meant, today looked up in wiki and found this really interesting and smth t
@Springmood
Joined: Feb 22, 2012 · Topics: 12 · Posts: 216
What else can I say to this sagittarius friend of mine to get it through to him that I will never be interested in him
@SillyFilly
Joined: Feb 29, 2012 · Topics: 1 · Posts: 93