I think I screwed up with my Libra friend
This topic was created in the Libra forum by gemini16 on Wednesday, January 9, 2008 and has 6 replies.
My Libra friend and I have known each other for 4 years, been good friends for 1. I had a huge crush on him, which he is aware of... but he's not interested.
Early in the week I made an off-the-cuff remark that he'll end up with a 'plain' girl (after he commented that he doesn't like girls in makeup and that my new red heels were too much). He was seriously insulted and has brought it up twice since. Last night I tried to defend myself, and realised I was just digging myself further. Crying as I drove home, I realised that I probably said plan because I was bitter that perhaps I need time away from him.
So I sent him a text message saying "I keep screwing up around you, and I keep thinking the only remedy to that is to see you less. As for my comment, please disregard it, and put it down to bitterness on my end". I've since emailed him to try to explain how much he means to me, and that I admire him so much, but that being his friend is sometimes hard.
I haven't heard back from him yet. I honestly hope we can still be friends, but perhaps not as close as we have been.
Early in the week I made an off-the-cuff remark that he'll end up with a 'plain' girl (after he commented that he doesn't like girls in makeup and that my new red heels were too much). He was seriously insulted and has brought it up twice since. Last night I tried to defend myself, and realised I was just digging myself further. Crying as I drove home, I realised that I probably said plan because I was bitter that perhaps I need time away from him.
So I sent him a text message saying "I keep screwing up around you, and I keep thinking the only remedy to that is to see you less. As for my comment, please disregard it, and put it down to bitterness on my end". I've since emailed him to try to explain how much he means to me, and that I admire him so much, but that being his friend is sometimes hard.
I haven't heard back from him yet. I honestly hope we can still be friends, but perhaps not as close as we have been.
I don't know why ending up with a plain girl bothers him so much. Does it really matter?
Perhaps it's some other underlying reason.
"after he commented that he doesn't like girls in makeup and that my new red heels were too much"
He's trying to tell you he likes you the way you are, natural. And perhaps doesn't like you dressing over the top. He was probably hurt because you not only missed the point but "cursed" him (apparently taking away beauty in a mate is saddening).
Libras are really sensitive and a cutting remark or sarcasm can cut deep especially coming from someone they trust not to hurt them. But don't worry, he'll heal and be back to you.
You did not screw up around him - just saying what you feel. I don't think you should apologize for that as much as he should for telling you about your heels being over the top.
You see, if you play into this, you're going to be the apologizer everytime. You're going to be the one at fault everytime. Apologize once and leave it. Don't dwell upon it. Afterall it was a slip of the tongue.
Perhaps it's some other underlying reason.
"after he commented that he doesn't like girls in makeup and that my new red heels were too much"
He's trying to tell you he likes you the way you are, natural. And perhaps doesn't like you dressing over the top. He was probably hurt because you not only missed the point but "cursed" him (apparently taking away beauty in a mate is saddening).
Libras are really sensitive and a cutting remark or sarcasm can cut deep especially coming from someone they trust not to hurt them. But don't worry, he'll heal and be back to you.
You did not screw up around him - just saying what you feel. I don't think you should apologize for that as much as he should for telling you about your heels being over the top.
You see, if you play into this, you're going to be the apologizer everytime. You're going to be the one at fault everytime. Apologize once and leave it. Don't dwell upon it. Afterall it was a slip of the tongue.
Thanks, Spica. Good point. I think he does trust me deeply, so perhaps that is why he was offended... he keeps telling me (the past couple of days) that he's realised I don't know him that well, and that I have been offending him. So maybe some distance is just what we need before the friendship is ruined for good.
I upset my dear libra friend and haven't heard from him in over a month... Sigh. However, they always seem to come back around when you least expect it.
Thanks VirgoLibra - I have a tendency to apologise too much.
Queenscorpio - sorry to hear that. I hope that you're soon seeing each other once again. If I've got the friendship right, you guys seem to have a very deep connection.
Queenscorpio - sorry to hear that. I hope that you're soon seeing each other once again. If I've got the friendship right, you guys seem to have a very deep connection.
* I think you're being way too nice about this!
Yeah. I agree. I think he was being a bit of an ass for cutting you down about your appearance. That was a low blow and he knows it.
(angry on your behalf. lol!)
Yeah. I agree. I think he was being a bit of an ass for cutting you down about your appearance. That was a low blow and he knows it.
(angry on your behalf. lol!)
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