I want to attract a Libran male

One of my closest friends is a Libran. We met about 5 years ago, but I was married, so we were just friendly. I wouldn't even call us friends. When my marriage ended, I started seeing him one-on-one and we became friends, and now he's one of my closest friends. I could have sworn he was interested, but I told him upfront that I wasn't dating for a while.

Now I'm ready to date, and have fallen deeply for this man. I respect him more than I've ever respected any man before. I asked him if he was interested in dating, and he said we should just stay friends. We see each other 4 - 5 times a week, have many interests in common and the same friends. It just makes so much sense for us to date, but he says he's not interested in persuing things.

He told a mutual friend that he thought I wasn't his 'type'. His type is quiet (I'm not quiet- I'm a typical Gemini girl!) and he also is worried about the implications of a break up because we have mutual friends. I wasn't thinking of breaking up, I was thinking of staying with him forever! We can spend hours on end together and never run out of things to say. I've talked to him again and told him I think he's amazing, but that I respect his decision. I did say that if he ever was to change his mind, I would be interested. I don't want him to think I'll be waiting for him, but honestly, I've never felt this way about a man before now, so in reality I probably would be!

I can't get him out of my mind. I haven't even kissed this man. I'm used to being the girl that got together with a guy who liked me slightly more than I liked him. For the first time in my life, though, I've allowed myself to fall completely and it's resulting in nothing. It's heartbreaking.

Any advice or insights?

Gemini,

How long ago did you bring up the romantic suggestion with Libra man?

regards,
Libra

Libra,

It was in May that we first had our conversation. He's flirted with me loads since then, so at the end of June, I had the 2nd conversation with him. Started it by saying "I know we've had our converstaion, and I know you don't often change your mind" (because despite being Libran, he makes a decision and sticks to it - at least I thought so).

He replied "I often change my mind, and could easily change my mind about you".

But nothing's happened. He did tell me he'd never be friends with benefits (damn!) but we're going away for a weekend in a group and he's asked me to share a room. I keep telling myself not be hopeful, but there's a little bit of hope in the back of my mind.

And we flirt loads :-)

Gemini

Oh, and as a timeline, my marriage ended in September 06 (to a Scorpian, who Libran is also friends with).

We became close in December - January, and had the conversation in May.

I won't be divorced till September, because I'm Australian and it takes 12 months here. Libran has told me a few times that I'm still a married woman. I wonder if that has anything to do with it....

***my marriage ended in September 06 (to a Scorpian, who Libran is also friends with).***

I can see a possible mental block there.. If he is close to this scorpio, then it will be hard for him. Scorpio always has a teacher/mentor role for libra men(dunno abt women).. So he wont find it ethically acceptable to start a relationship with you. Still chances are more that he do likes u more than he wish to accept. How u think you can find out??

When you share the room, you just might find out how much he really likes you. If he is friends with the Scorp. I dunno, because scorps are loyal friends (women anyway) so he might feel compelled to be a loyal friend back to him at least until the two of you are divorced. The marriage thing might be a block and the fact that your ex is his friend and it can get confusing. Librans hate confusion.

Gem, also Librans cannot be forced or tricked into a relationship. If they decide they want one, then they do. If they don't then they don't for that moment, not that it is entirely impossible for them to change their minds.

The friendship with your Ex is the bigist factor here IMO. Like Libran mentioned above, when Libra and Scorpio guys are friends, first of all it's not a likely combo for a deep friendship, so if there is one it is going to be really strong, and the Scorpio is not only going to be very convicted and have high expectations for their Libra friend, they are also going to look up to the Libra A LOT in their friendship. So there is a double sense of betrayal there, on the normal friendship level, but also because of the respect your EX has for him. Not to put us on a pedastal, that kind of looking up to does go both ways but in 99.9% likelyhood the scorpio likes the libran friendship because of the Libras mental, objective and idealistic approach to life and the scorpio sees things differently through the Libran friendship in ways that they don't usually see things on their own. The opposite will be true, but Librans are pretty assured and confident on their approach to life and it's matters and so the Libran probably sees himself as much as anything as a mentor/teacher like libran said to the scorpio. Not to mention he has probably been your ex's biggest confidant in the situation between you two. We are usually the natural choice for that role in a friendship.


So....there is your biggest problem, though in all likelyhood this Libran does have feelings for you this is the reason he is not going to show them. Form what you said he is being very strong in the area of objective reasoning which is actually a sign that he is gaurding feelings for you. Also the fact that he asked to share a room for you tells me that inside he does have feelings for you and a lot of times, when we feel like we shouldn't become romantic with someone we will set up, or allow ourselves to be put in a position where it can "just happen" but in such a way that to everyone outside we can still say it wasn't expected. This kind of personal selfishness comes out in us when we feel strongly about something that we think we shouldn't, or if in getting it it goes against the grain of our character. We have AMAZING self control in regards to comming on to someone or initiating passion, but we have little to none in the area of resisting it if it is on our mind as well.

So, he could lay in the same bed with you and not touch you romantically, but if you touch him romantically and under the surface he desires you he will not have the willpower to stop it. That is the situation your faci

Thank you all for your advice. I wondered whether the friendship was a barrier. A few months back my ex (who I am friendly with still) told the Libran he was cool if we started to date. The Libran thanked the Scorpian for telling him so. I was not meant to know this (Scorpian told me, Libran doesn't think I know). Libran has since said to me that despite appearances, he believes Scorpian is still possessive and jealous.... which makes me wonder what really went on in that conversation! hehe.

Libran is much closer to me than he is to Scorpian - their friendship is more chatting about sports and current events friendship. Libran is just lovely to everyone.

Anyway, thanks for the feedback. I think I'll just let it go, and if it happens, it happens.

Based off of what you said it sounds to me like he wants to get closer to you but feels like he shouldn't or doing so would be "wrong". In the end we do what we want, but we try everything to keep it from making waves. If he really does have a lot of desire for you it will happen in a big way no matter how much he thinks he shouldn't or wrong it would be.

Thanks Nicodemus. He did tell me once that it took him 6 years to get together with a friend because he was waiting to be sure it was right. My spontaneous Gemini nature was amazed at that, and I told him so. I said "I'd just jump in head first and deal with the consequences later". He asked "but what if it wasn't right?".

haha. That's why I find him endearing. He's a thinker, I'm a doer.

He also told me he likes girls that are a bit emotionally distant. I'm not and he acknowledged that. I wear my heart on my sleeve - I didn't used to, but the Libran brings it out in me.

I think he used the wrong word. I think he wants a girl who is emotionally reserved rather than distant. Reserved is the cause, distand would be the apparent affect. Just to clarify the root of what he is trying to convey.

Libras see emotional reservation and control as a virtue. Again because we hold a higher value to the objective than the subjective, the reasonable than the emotional. We see emotional control as virtuous, because they are only one persons and they are unreasonable we believe on should have reservation and responsibility with them as to not put the weight of them on other people. Those who wear their heart on their sleeve to us is symbolic of a lack of strength. The only reason one would want to do that, in our mind, is to get a reaction from others to validate something that only the person who ones them can. It is good to have strong feeling and to express feeling, but not so much to express strong emotion. We see a distinct difference between feeling and emotion. From what I understand, though I am not sure this is more relative to Libra men than women. I could be wrong but I don't think I am.

Hmmm, interesting. Good to know....

I made a decision not to play any games, which is why I told him I liked him. But I can let it be because I can't play games. I'm not going to change my nature. It was funny... I said to my Mum

Me: He likes quiet girls. And I can be quiet
Mum, laughing : You're not quiet, love. That's one word I'd never use to describe you
Me: Yeah, but I'm quiet at home, and he just doesn't see that side of me
Mum: Well, just let it go. You're not quiet for the most part.

Oh, my family all live interstate. When they visited, he was determined to meet them all and he did. He told our mutual friends that night all about the conversation and everything...... he was all excited. My friends reported it was like Christmas Day, he was so excited to have met them, and kept talking about them that night.

Frustrating! 😉

I'm so glad i read this post as it really gives me some insight in to my problem. This really relates to my post "Did I mess it up beyond repair" I'm a Taurus but also wear my heart on my sleeve and to not express how I feel some how feels like game playing. The things I can relate to are that our "relationship" for lack of a better word started out kinda confusing because my Libras best friend has had a crush on me sence childhood, even though this man is now married, my Libra knows how his friend feels about me & I think didn't want to cause problems between the two of them, That being said he seemes to have gotten over that & just a few days ago told me "We can do whatever WE want, it's nobodys business" Also another thing that jumped out at me is the word reserve, It is true that we can lay in the same bed together and he will keep his arms folded over his chest wich is definatley not something I'm used too. With the exception of the very 1st time we made out I've started everything and then he goes with it. He also said he liked me but was keeping himself restricted, I would have loved an explination for that but i didn't want to force anything so i let it go

Hi it's not difficult to attract a libra male..just smile and show some skin ...doesn'
t take much lol!!

SS, true, Libra men love "women" in general. A few specifics and that may change after the initial meeting, but yes, they love women in general.