If only they knew!!!

Thought I'd start a new topic....bit tiring going through umpteen pages LOL.....anyway thought I'd head it up "If only they knew"....and yup, if only they knew how they drive us crazy!!

Can't say they quite have a clue.

wonder what would happen if they got a clue?? nah, maybe not.....its probably better not knowing.

Maybe the saying "Silence is Golden" is a good thing after all 😉

no no no silence isn't golden. i must have communication. must must must

Okay, TRY the silence is golden routine. Just have a lull in the conversation and see how long it takes for Libra to talk again (you'll only need the second hand on a stop watch).

true

If we have a strong connection with you then silence really is golden.

Good to HEAR from you nic', ol' bud!

why is it golden, nic? does it show your comfort level with the person?

Sometimes if we really like someone the beginning of a relationship is really passionate and deep and as we grow closer together with someone it becomes more comfortable and serene. The passion and depth never leaves but laying ourselves out on the table allows us to know that the other person gets the real us, allowing us to just be us. Which is what we really want. It seems most libra guys are afraid to do this. I would rather come on stronger and have peace of mind throughout than do a tap dance and have to keep doing a tap dance.

"why is it golden, nic? does it show your comfort level with the person?"

Because you don't feel like you are having to continuously keep someone focused where you want them too. You feel like they just get you which allows us to let our guard down and feel like we don't need to please everyone. That one person understanding allows us to drop the need for everyone to understand and we can open up and focus on the stuff that being people focused holds us back from. If that makes any sense, I just woke up and haven't done the cofee and a cigarette thing so my minds a little muddy.

Affectionate silence is a sign that we are comfortable enough with you to fall for you in short.

awwww.....i wish Nic was a little older or I was a little younger.

Me too HP...

I can relate to that Nic, don't know if it is a Scorp girl/Libra man thing again, but my friend as well as my ex and I can communicate thoroughly through silence. Touch look expression etc. Even if we aren't intimate, we just sort of know what the other one is thinking or feeling in the moment. Sometimes that gives me more peace (only w/Libra men though)than having a discussion. My ex and I could just look at eachother and smile and we both know what was just communicated.. On the other hand, like you said before, we can become confused with misunderstanding eachother. Yeah, to others this might sound like a load of bull or very confusing.

Nic, I know you get it though.

I kind find the same with mine....sometimes we can just sit there or lay there 😉 and say nothing and be fine with it....other times?? omg do we talk LOL...but I don't have a problem with silence with him - its comfortable enough, unlike with other guys *shrugs*

Whoah, wonder if he's into me if he's being silent for a week?? LMAO

Chatz, he could be just doing the battle of the brain thing.

what does that mean though? enlighten me

You know, although they can be frustrating the hell out of us. I having dealt with their kind can really get where Wysdom is coming from... It is OK to back off when they are not responding. It actually has helped me when dealing with them. They ust disappear and we don't like it. They need to battle things out in their head. I am going to post an email I sent to my Libra friend today. At some point we must tell them how we feel exactly and let them ponder with it and make up their own mind, which could take awhile and could have them going back and forth a couple times, again depending what space they are in at the moment. Yours seem to be in a similar space as mine.

yeah....I hear ya 🙂

I have just spent 1/2 hour chatting with my Libra...OMG reeled in again!!!! How do they do that— that freaking charm!!!! and that's only on chat for Godsake!!! bugger though....he asked "did you get many valentines day cards and pressies?"....I said "yeah, loads, how about you?" he just came back and wrote "did you get MY Valentines Day present"...as a joke - grrrrrrrrrr@him....I just answered "yes, yours was the biggest and best of course, thank you".....joking back!! I guess he'll appreciate that I didn't get grumpy coz he didn't even text me!!! He'll never know he disappointed me damnit...what is wrong with me— I should be jumping up and down and screaming but nah LOL

Anyway he asked when we could catch up again and I said "whenever you can fit me into your busy schedule" as a joke.....he did harp on that for a while though...perhaps that will make him think though....anyway we have a date tomorrow - yippeeeee!!!!! I need to prepare my "speech" though as I really want him to know that I need more out of our r/ship....yikes!!!!

But it was a nice chat and he's sent me a sweet text since...awwwwww but man those times between?? a killer!!! He did say "you've been hard to catch for a while.....everything ok?"...hahehehehehe...he did miss me afterall 🙂 🙂 🙂

Okay, that is great Chatz.... When you do talk to him tomorrow,keep it light an honest and make sure you compliment the good things about what you have. Don't make it like you are complaining... Good for you... Can't wait to hear about the outcome... Remember the manner in which I wrote my email. I couldn't wait to do that in person... I don't know when I will see him. He has really been distance since I expressed how I feel, except for the V-day text (which was sweet)but I took as just that sweet.

Chatz, did he call you— Also, have you been ignoring his calls? You have been hard to catch up with...

Yes I really do have to think long and hard today/tonight about how/what Im going to say and I don't intend to complain at all...just lay it out as to what I really want - I think he is slowly coming round, I don't know - he keeps surprising me every time!! its so slow but yeah, he seems to be able to detect when Im a little lost with things re: us.....then he makes me feel like everythings ok again but its not really when there are so many quiet in betweens!! I can't keep deluding myself there LOL.

re: calling? well he texted me a couple of times earlier in the week and I didn't answer his last one, nor have I been on msn to chat at nights (he likes that)....guess he must have wondered what was up coz when I came on today, and I was surprised he was online at this time of the day on a Saturday, he got my attention immediately and I was relieved at the same time - I don't do the quiet thing too well and am quite proud of myself for having done it for a WHOLE week - wooohoooo!!!! *sigh* I don't think he likes it that I've done it now LOL...hence, the getting together tomorrow - normally he'd plan for a few days time...he has his daughter tonight so we can't catch up tonight - Im going out anyway 🙂....He made a mention of that perfume again (I texted him last Sunday to say I'd tried it and it was yummy)...he really wants me to have it but little does he know I've gone out and gotten it - won't he be surprised tomorrow?? LOL. One good thing from knowing him is that I have a wonderful new perfume - OMG it is yummy!!!!! even I want me when Im wearing that!!!! LOL

QS I am ALWAYS complimenting the good things....I probably give him way too many compliments and he rarely gives them back but when he does?? I know they are sincere...but mine are too damnit!!!

Just rememeber. Have fun, and do talk to him, you must get this stuff off your chest. That way there will be no guessing. He may ponder about making a move and being more serious but no confusion... It has gotten to you and you want to know. So ask... You can only tip toe around them for so long. Enough time has passed. Ask what is up... In a light way though, no pushing. Just honest and light. I can't wait to hear about it. Good luck...

Chatz, you are my heroine. Reading your post took my frustration away (cuz I would have written something similar). ONE WEEK? You have much more self-control than I do. I DID call Libra Girl to ask her out for lunch today (it was sunny! And we haven't had sunshine for awhile). BUT she said she was too busy and rattled off everything she was doing today and tomorrow---she'll be gone Sunday and Monday, so I wanted to see her before he left. BUT it doesn't look like that's going to work. And it surprised her when I said, "Well, I guess I'll see you when you get back." I shrugged it off some. ANYWAY I certainly didn't wait a week. I am so proud of you.

Then checking e-mails tonight, she sent me a story forward from someone about how we're all inter-connected and need one another etc. (I guess that is considered foreplay? *ow* Er, sorry about that to my Libra friends er. Maybe).

And, yes, girl, I can tell from here that perfume is yummy on you!

thanks Atom.....he's going to love it and me? self-control?? OMG do you know how long i has taken me to be this strong— and no, its still hard but I did it this time....no sneaking onto msn, no texts, no emails, no calls, no nothing and he's taken note.

QS I will keep it light but yeah I have to tell him that's for sure 🙂

don't get too disillusioned Atom!! I'd say go and enjoy the sunshine regardless - its there to be enjoyed....want me to send some over to you?? OMG its hot here 😢....when will summer end—

Atom, test yourself. Try a week and go out with the aqua....

QS, Libra Girl's leaving town and Aqua Girl came on to me this morning (nice conversation for about 45 minutes---very shuggly body language). LG is trying to draw me in, thanking me for V Day, BUT I'm takin' my time.

Yes, Chatz, I basically played hookey, enjoying the sun. It helped.

good Atom, good 🙂....nice going.

Hmmmm well I did have a wonderful time with the man again...OMG does he know how to charm and he doesnt even have to remotely try - grrrrrrrr. He made mention of me not being around over the past week and he particularly made mention that I didn't answer his last text message so obviously he does think of me a little more than I realise he does...he was probably analysing it all week as to why I hadn't but it was a strategic move LOL.

The conversation didnt flow as well as it normally does but we still laughed a lot...I dunno what to think but he did mention he'd like to see me again on Wednesday or Thursday so that's a breakthrough - twice in a week?? woohoo LOL.....again, I dunno...I wanted to tell him how I felt about where we were heading (which is nowhere LOL) but it just didnt feel right...perhaps he had an inkling? I don't know but we just kept it light and amusing and whoah those kisses!!! yummmmmmmmm. He kept saying things like "I guess you'll be seeing your other boyfriend during the week" and stuff like that.....why?? he surely knows Im not seeing anybody else and its hardly like anybody would be my "other boyfriend"...its not like he's my boyfriend!! I just played along though....dunno *shrugs*

Awesome, Chatz! Sort of... Haha! Good in some ways, freaking confusing in others from the sounds of it.

"I guess you'll be seeing your other boyfriend during the week"

Might be wrong, but I would say that is being jealous and trying not to show it... Fishing... Jealousy can be a good thing in small proportions (not psychotic jealousy, but a small amount shows they care)...

I dunno... Haha! Sounds like the Libran "I dunno" is contagious to all those around them (and those hearing about them). They don't know, you don't know, I don't know, nobody knows when it comes to Libras (except other Libras, haha!)...

"Good in some ways, freaking confusing in others from the sounds of it."

Yep, sounds like a Libra.

Chatz, he's not jealous yet. He's fishing---wants to know where he stands. KEEP HIM GUESSING, girl! ALOOF is a power technique you can use with these guys (even while giving him that seductive Leo stare).

alcheme...yeah I thought it might be him fishing as well...I don't think he's worked me out yet, especially when I made myself disappear for a week - I don't think he's used to that and he brought up Valentines Day again last night and the fact "I" didn't send him a text!!!....I think there may be a little bit of insecurity but again, I dunno....there's that I dunno again LOL

Ahhhh, but fishing can be a form of jealousy... I can remember saying similar stuff in my day (not that I was ever the jealous type 😉).

Granted, Scorp's are predisposed to jealousy (large scale) and Libras aren't (or at the very least small scale), so you are probably right..

He doesnt seem like the jealous type but insecure— I think there's quite a bit of that actually but hey he keeps wanting to see me - that's got to be something *shrugs*

MIght have to disappear for a week again LOL....nah, I have a date later this week so it'll be next week I disappear....actually I'll be a good girl and send him a mushy text re: last night....let him know Im thinking of him - awwwwww LOL

Insecure seems to describe most Libras I know. 'Don't buy into him being jealous at this time. After all that takes EMOTION. LOL!

that's true....that's so true!!

LOL!!!

oooooh no reply to my text yet - maybe he's doing what I did last week and not answer LOL....normally a reply within 2 minutes!!! yikes!!!

Either he's playing my game or he's actually working for a change LOL.....gawd ya should have all heard him whinge this morning when he had to get up.....what's with Librans and being ummm...*coughs*...lazy??

Maybe he's thinking about me calling him horrid and mean and yada yada....I told him he was the meanest person I'd ever met - just kidding!!! He did seem to take everything a bit hard last night - he wasn't quite himself in that way - a little more serious than normal *shrugs*

"Insecure seems to describe most Libras I know. 'Don't buy into him being jealous at this time."

I don't know. Jealousy is a form of insecurity. Insecurities in relationships invariably lead in some form or fashion to jealousy.

The guys asked about an "other boyfriend"... He may not be to the point of full scale jealousy, but I would have called it "teetering on the edge"... Being a guy, and having a different perspective, I would love to hear your response. I love learning new points of view...


"what's with Librans and being ummm...*coughs*...lazy??"

Hahaha!

thing is he has no need to be jealous...he knows Im there for him and I never taunt him with other guys....HE's the one who ALWAYS brings it up, although the last two times some guy who has been wanting to hook up with me has messaged me at some ridiculous time during the night - guess that could be a worry to him but I just shrugged it off both times and assured him that I wasn't seeing anybody else (in a light way - I don't make a big deal of it)...this guy was trying way before I met Mr Libra. I dunno...maybe he has had time to think that one over re: the texts from somebody else.....but still, it might be a good thing for him to worry coz he might realise I won't hang around for him forever.

"hing is he has no need to be jealous...he knows Im there for him and I never taunt him with other guys....HE's the one who ALWAYS brings it up, although the last two times some guy who has been wanting to hook up with me has messaged me at some ridiculous time during the night - guess that could be a worry to him but I just shrugged it off both times and assured him that I wasn't seeing anybody else (in a light way - I don't make a big deal of it)...this guy was trying way before I met Mr Libra. I dunno...maybe he has had time to think that one over re: the texts from somebody else.....but still, it might be a good thing for him to worry coz he might realise I won't hang around for him forever."

Oh, no, it is entirely possible he isn't since Atom seems to think he isn't (and Atom is guy) and you also seem to think that he isn't (and you actually know him)... Which is why I wanted to hear y'all's perspectives. Granted it is entirely possible if I knew him that I wouldn't have jumped to that conclusion (everybody is different). But, for the most part, in general, I would have said it was a mild form of jealousy stemming from insecurity (especially in regards to his responses and apparent confusion about your lack of communication lately).

But, from Atom's response, my initial gut reaction might have been wrong, in which case, I would prefer to correct, rather than jump to incorrect and perhaps on some level negative conclusions about a person or their actions.

Back on topic, worry can be a good thing... Get him out of his comfort zone... 🙂

Hopefully he comes around and it doesn't turn into a power struggle of sorts, our aloofness keeps us in control, he might just be feeling the results of not being in control anymore.

He is at the point where he is contemplating what he could be losing at this point if you decide to go your own way. Which means he is weighing EVERYTHING in his head. We are not good at chasing, but he very well might want to, so be really perceptive in this and if he does come around he might need a little nudge.

wow what a response!!

Im not going to worry about it...takes up too much energy but yeah, he is getting out of that comfort zone that's for sure but damn it was hard staying away from any contact last week - sooooooo hard....and OMG he invited me to HIS place!!!! amazing stuff - sheesh, about time too!!! Must be a big step for him LOL

"and OMG he invited me to HIS place!!!! amazing stuff - sheesh, about time too!!! Must be a big step for him LOL"

Ironically yeah, it is. Unless I feel considerable emotions for a girl I keep it all at her place. Two reasons, one...I am don't know if I like her all that much yet and am not really open to being analyzed in the natural way that occurs when you let someone in "your space" and two...girls are a lot more likely to "get comfortable" and by comfortable I mean horny when they are in their comfort zone. So yeah, the fact that he wants you to come to his place is a bit of a deal for libra guys.

Nic...I "hear" what you say and yup he acted a little different last night, certainly wasn't as "cool" and confident as normal but it would do him good to weigh everything in his head too....let's face it, I spend way too much weighing things in my head - he should suffer too LOL. I think he knows what he'd be missing but he just won't commit to anything further than seeing me adhoc but putting those little barbs in (i.e. the boyfriend comments or "have you been out with anybody else lately"...that kinda stuff)...its VERY confusing to know what to say and a nudge— hmmmmm any ideas— Im out of ideas and all I know is I will see him later this week and no doubt we'll keep seeing eachother for months like this if I let it be that way. He NEEDS a nudge that's for sure

Really?? but he's told me about the women he's had one nighters with in the past at his place which of course upset me in the last few weeks as he hadn't invited me ever....strange!!

and what signs are there he might be chasing?? I mean really?? they should be obvious yeah??

sheesh this is so hard *sigh*

"Really?? but he's told me about the women he's had one nighters with in the past at his place which of course upset me in the last few weeks as he hadn't invited me ever....strange!!"

Probably becuase he is actually interrested in you. You wouldn't be there for a hump and a dump so you would be actually taking in his comfort zone.