I have been friends with a Libra man for over 10 years. He is in a band and we first met by him just comming over and striking up a conversation with me and telling me how beautiful I was. I told him I was married. But we hit it off as friends and exchanged numbers. He lives far away but would come here roughly 2 times per year. We would always get so very excited to see each other. We would text each other all the time talking about random things. He ended up telling me he began dating a girl shortly after we met. I was super happy for him and told him how I would love to meet her. He was always telling me how I needed to come visit him and her. I loved our friendship. It was so fun and care free. We always talked about how we missed each other and Loved each other and couldnt wait to hang out when his band came to play. We were always together for whatever short times we had each year to see each other. I remember my friend had a small convo with him when I wasnt around and he kept saying to her how awesome I was. She told me he said this and I just brushed it off thinking he had his girlfriend now for a few years so it didnt mean anything to me that way. We loved each other as such good friends. Last summer he came to play. We hung out throughout sets and after the show went to the bar the whole band. I would hand with him and chat with the others as I was friends with them all really. We ended up having quite a bit to drink. I dont know how drunk he was be he seemed to be ok I guess. Walked back the the hotel and waited outside as I called a cab. We were talking and he was just staring into my eyes and grabbed me and kissed me. Kinda shocked I didnt know what to do but then pulled away. I said to him you know I cant do this. He understood. We parted ways and I texted to let him know I got home ok.
A few days later I texted him and didnt bring it up at all. We chatted as usual. Later on in the day it hit me that perhaps this whole time he did still have feelings for me and it wasnt just an act of being drunk. I decided to mention it to him. I felt we needed to clear anything up. He absolutely did not want to talk about it. And said he would call me later as he didnt want his girlfriend to see this conversation. I told him it was not a big deal and we should just disregard it and not let anything ruin our friendship. He phoned me later on and we started the convo as if nothing happened. He then started talking different. Asking me what I wanted for the future and how we should just move on. I was very confused. He would say things on how much he liked his girlfriend and how him and her were working towards a future together. I was happy for him always was always have been. He then said we should tone down our convos and just be casual acquaintances. I was shocked. I didnt know what to say or how to understand what I did wrong. After we got off the phone it took a while to fully collect and understand my thoughts but I sent him a text explaining that it was just a kiss nothing had happened and in no way should I have to be demoted in a friendship. To suddenly go to a casual friendship when we have had for years (what I thought) was such an awesome plutonic relationship literally kills me inside. All because of one night where nothing happened!!!!. At all!! But you feel so guilty and are so scared so to further prevent any remote possibility of something happening again you just decide it's better to walk away from our friendship. Either that or you are a coward for not saying what's really going on. He replied by saying
Yes we are friends. Yes i have enjoyed spending time with you.
But you frame this as ALL OR NOTHING!!!
Your interpretation of casual friendship is not the same as me. To me casual friendship is enjoying each others company, being open and honest with each other, and not putting ridiculous demands on one another.
I will gladly end this friendship to avoid any further over dramatizing over spilt milk. That was pretty much the last of it. For months I have been feeling so very much like shit. I miss our friendship. I think about him and all the good times we had. I miss him. He hadn't tried to contact me at all so I decided to reach out. I messaged him just saying I need to swallow my pride and that I miss our friendship. I saw that he received the message and read it. It stayed like that for a day or 2. Then suddenly he became unavailable on messenger. He blocked me. I feel gutted. I dont know what I did to deserve this. I dont know what happened or why. Please anybody help me to understand this
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Nov 05, 2015Comments: 1312 · Posts: 6942 · Topics: 124
First of all maybe it happened because you don’t know how to type paragraphs !!
Second of all you are freaking married and he has a gf and you both ended up “accidentally” kissing... clearly one of you is developing more feelings for the other and it’s just best to not dabble with fire at all.
Get over it if you don’t want to further hurt your marriage and his relationships.
What’s your sign?
Yes you are right it is hard to have feelings for someone and be a friend at the same time. I have been there as well. This hurts a lot. I cherished our friendship so very much. 20 years ago I lost my best male friend to cancer. My world ended. I was lost ever since. I found my libra and he helped fill that deep void in my heart. He gave me life again. He truly did. I dont think he realizes how much he meant to me. I miss him. Why did he take that chance and kiss me only to just completely unwind everything we had? Why?
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Jan 05, 2020Comments: 514 · Posts: 454 · Topics: 6
Only logical thing to do is kill your friend and console him for his loss
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Oct 21, 2015Comments: 11066 · Posts: 36034 · Topics: 110
Its not fair of you to dictate the definition of what your friendship should look like.
You set your boundaries of not kissing, and rightly so.
He is setting his boundaries of gaining some distance to gain control and respect his current partner.
Its obvious that there is some feelings there on his side. If you truly love him as a friend you'll put your needs aside and try to understand and compromise so that the friendship can be salvaged.
How does you husband/partner feel about this relationship? Did you tell him about the kiss?
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Mar 24, 2006Comments: 163 · Posts: 6615 · Topics: 326
It wasn’t the one act that made him block you.. think a little harder. I’m betting you’ve ignored his feelings/advances/looks at least 5 times. We hang in there and hope for a better outcome and give ourselves reasons to hang on until it finally dawns on us that we are better off cutting all ties with friends/loved ones.
Then you’re cut and we don’t look back until we’ve moved on completely and you don’t even factor in our minds. Favourite saying “their loss”