Laid All My Cards on the Table

Like a fool, I cracked and started communicating with the Scorp again. I posted about the new job and she texted me to say congrats along with asking about the job. I was going to ignore it (as I should have), but I responded. Tonight I was at a play (friend's girlfriend was in it and it was awesome!). During the play my phone vibrated and during intermission I took a look. The Scorp texted me to say she was in town and was hoping to meet up. Again, like a fool I responded and asked how long she'd be out since I was at a play. She said at least till 12 am and I knew I'd be done around 10. She said text her when I was leaving and she'd let me know if they were still out. So at 10 I send the text, I could be where she was at the latest 11:15. 30 minutes to drive home, no response. I had plans to meet some friends for their birthday, so I went there. Over an hour later she finally texts me back saying she was dancing. I told her I was 30 minutes away, so if they were staying I'd come. She said she'd check with her group, a few minutes later she says most were leaving at 12 and she'd hate for me to drive that far, but she'd love to see me. I said alright and she said she'd contact me tomorrow if she was around. I told her I'd be busy so it wouldn't work. She followed with have fun.

At this point, I cracked and just couldn't take it anymore (and I literally hadn't drank anything). So I told her, I care about you a lot and I know the feelings aren't mutual, but I can't continue with this back and forth. She followed with she cared about me and that the flaking was never malicious. She said the typical, you're a good guy and an honest friend. That she was sorry if she wasn't holding up her end of the bargin. But then the excuses began. The leggings had no pockets thus the no response to my text and she was easily distracted by people she hadn't see in awhile.

She was clearly not reading what I said. So I told her, I see you as more then a friend and I know the feelings aren't mutual. But it makes the flaking 10 times worse and while I do my best to handle it, it seems I always get the short end of the stick. I added that obviously she can't control my feelings, but since I was putting my cards on the table I asked why she blocked me last week. Her reply was that she had disabled Facebook and then realized she couldn't use the music sharing software we have without. She completely pretended like I hadn't said anything else.

I replied saying ok and that I had told her everything that I needed to. You're all going to kill me for the next part, but it was the honest truth. I told her I was glad she found someone who made her happy and that she was the standard I'd hold all women to as I do think she's an amazing person. She is, flaws she does have, but I don't believe her intent was vindictive. She said that I was the sweetest, she was sorry if she hurt me, but it was not intentional. She added she thought I was a doll, but someone else had stolen her heart.

She then said that she still hoped I would visit and that they would show me a good time. I told her I didn't think that was for the best, but I appreciated the invitation.

I am glad I said my peace, but it didn't bring me the closure I thought I would get. I am definitely taking a break from anything dating related. I just don't know anymore as I can't seem to do anything right. Come on too strong, move too slow, too much of a jerk, too nice of a guy. I've heard it all in the past year and honestly what little balance I did have has been destroyed.

So the whole point of this interaction with her was to:
1. see her again
2. get the closure you needed from this relationship?

I've read this post and the story from your other post. Unfortunately you put yourself in a situation where your heart got involved. Although you knew this relationship with this woman was a risk. You went along with it anyway. There is no fault there, we cannot judge you on your choice and you should not be hit over the head with the facts. You know what they are and you are living them.

But I dont understand why you think this is the type of woman you deserve? I dont know her and neither does anyone else on this site. But the fact that she did not woman up and tell you to your face or directly that things were over between the two of you is not only a fault of character but a total disrespect for your feelings.

You will have to make closure on your own. Realize that you are worth more that what she offered and find someone that is 100% into you.

You may have feelings for her now, but like my father always told me, " there will always be someone else".

@theGrinch-check my post please! 🙂

I did really just want to say my peace. I got about what I expected, excuses, but I definitely felt better having said what I needed too. She did have a lot of good qualities that I admired which is why I said what I said. She of course has some crappy ones, but overall take away the flakiness and the lack of honesty...perfect girl. Funny, smart, fun, beautiful piercing eyes, a smile and laugh to die for, and beautiful to boot. Don't think I'll find that again.

Sir, how many times has your heart been broken? I also tend to put women I'm attracted to on a pedestal, as do most people. She seems to be the greatest thing ever, although she really isn't that much different from others, I just happen to find something about her extremely appealing, until something happens that leaves me disappointed and maybe dejected. In the beginning, it seems like my heart is broken, but the truth is, her image cracked and she actually fell off of the pedestal.

I started to care less about these women once I realized that, and also, while I NEVER compare people to my previous interests(I judge the individual because that's what they are), when I look in retrospect, I see the only woman equal in beauty to the the last one I was truly in love with is the one I'm interested in now. There are a lot of women with those qualities, and there is always someone better, especially because they are honest. If it were me and I saw she was bullshitting over something serious, her image will definitely crack, and she'll fall off the pedestal because I would push her off!! Dishonesty to me is the same as being disloyal.

If she's checking your posts here and texting you, like someone else said, she's trying to see if she still matters to you and the idea behind the crap she's saying about the other guy is to make you jealous. Like a bully, what she wants is a reaction. It is in your best interests to disregard her.

Okay, how naive and impractical are you being right now? Because your penis likes this chick, you're going to make her the standard? That is the worst thing you could do because you will constantly be setting yourself up for failure and disappointment. You guys already have a tendency to idealize whoever tickles your fancy, and that one little crack, as 2n3r said, will shatter your image of the female in question, and things go to shit.

Women are already on the losing side with you guys a good portion of the time because they have to compete with an unrealistic standard you guys already set in your heads. Now, you're doing that by comparing them to a specific individual, when everybody is different.

This also screams issues. "They have to be like this lame bimbo that treated me like ass!" Seriously dude? Set some better standards for yourself. Expecting all women to be like this chick is really immature of you. You're only saying this now because you can't let go of an infatuation with a dysfunctional person.

Your love life will continue to be in shambles if you keep this mentality up.

Posted by theGrinch
Don't think I'll find that again.

Really— I have to remind myself that this is still fresh.

I'd say this is the first time I've had a broken heart. I've always been a casual dater with no relationship lasting longer then a year. I've also always stayed in contact with them after so this is new territory for me. This was much more then being just physically attracted to her. I am, won't deny that, but I always felt we had some sort of connection. Getting laid is the easy part, that I can do with a lot less effort. But I was looking for something more this time. Ah, I'd take a Libra tiz! Anyhow, thanks for the advice all, very helpful indeed!

Shit... i'm in the same situation like you hahaha...

Posted by theGrinch
I did really just want to say my peace. I got about what I expected, excuses, but I definitely felt better having said what I needed too. She did have a lot of good qualities that I admired which is why I said what I said. She of course has some crappy ones, but overall take away the flakiness and the lack of honesty...perfect girl. Funny, smart, fun, beautiful piercing eyes, a smile and laugh to die for, and beautiful to boot. Don't think I'll find that again.

All those great qualities are nothing without honesty!

Haha, touche aquarius09 touche! We haven't talked too much this past week and I suspect that will continue. I've gone with the fuck it attitude and am at least happy I said everything I wanted to.

Posted by theGrinch
Haha, touche aquarius09 touche! We haven't talked too much this past week and I suspect that will continue. I've gone with the fuck it attitude and am at least happy I said everything I wanted to.

You must feel better now that you got it off your chest. Keep up with the "f it attitud3". Please don't waste anymore time with her. This time can be better allocated to a girl worthy of you.