Libra advice

This topic was created in the Libra forum by Gemineye on Saturday, June 6, 2009 and has 28 replies.
Hello all!
I was dating a Libra guy for a couple of months. We hit it off wonderfully, we had a strong mental connection and totally understood each other. It was pretty amazing to say the least. I never had experience with Libra's before prior to this, man, I think I'm hooked on them now smile. Anyhow, things were going great. He was taking it slow, communicated about every other day and we saw each other a couple times a week. Somewhere along the line I started to get confused so I decided to ask him if he liked me and if he thought this would work. I just felt the need to ask, I guess it's because he would text me I would respond and it sometimes took him until the next day to respond back the his initial question etc. Being a gemini I admit I do get impatient and have this "need to know" even though I don't necessarily want to move fast either.
Anyway, when I asked him he ended up calling me saying that he wasn't sure if it was going to work out and that I was such a great person blah blah blah. I felt hurt because I felt a really STRONG connection with him and I totally thought he was on the same page. I agreed to be friends with him. He's a fantastic person and someone I truly admire. He's almost like a dream man to me which isn't something that comes along very often in my world. smile
He called me about a week and a half ago just to check up, we chatted, laughed and just caught up on our lives. Then we started just emailing back about every other day talking about basic things etc. He told me he met a girl and he was scared because things were moving quickly and he didn't want to be hurt etc etc. I reassured him that everything would be ok and to just go with it and went on about how great of a person he is etc etc. He said the girl is pretty much into him too. He then in the same email said "we have to hang out soon". That really confused me. Why would he want to hang out if he suddenly met this wonderful girl? I guess he values my friendship even though we've only known each other for a short time but it was just an odd request. Any insight? A part of me wants to be the girl he's talking about and it kinda saddened me when I found out but being who I am I always want the best for people especially if they're "good people".
I'm just not sure whether or not to hang out with him. It would be a little tough for me so I kind of dodged his email for now.
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Oh and just to add something I did that was really immature after he first told me he didn't think it was going to work. I went on myspace and deleted him as a friend. The next day he requested me back as a friend, lol. I know it was stupid but it kinda hurt and came almost out of the blue and out of no where.
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Well one thing you have to understand about Libras is that yes, while they are constantly seeking love, they are also very picky. Some Libras (who are more in love with the concept of love ITSELF more than the person) are known for jumping the gun & getting into fast relationships w/o thinking things through (b/c of their excitement taking control over their logic) AND some Libras meet you, test you out & have to act/mimic as if they're already commited to you (all the phone calls, all the hanging out, all the sweet words in your ear) just to see if they can consider you worthy of long-term use. You may not want to hear this, but honey I think this Libra has already made up his mind that he can only see you as a friend. Somewhere a long the line he observed you, & didn't like something in you and/OR felt as if you & him weren't as good of a match as he would like. You might attach if the connection is atleast an a level 8, while he may only attach to someone with a level 9 or 10 connection rate. So it's not that he felt you 2 didn't have a connection; he just might not have felt that his connection with you was strong enough, & the way he wanted it. So what will he/did he do? He'll still do all the things he did with you before hand (hanging out, sweet words) & won't feel guilty about this b/c he knows that everyone is responsible for their own feelings.
Him telling you about another woman might be seen as a mistake in your eyes, but to him, it makes sense that he did this b/c he really didn't assume that this would ignite any jealousy or confusion in you. Maybe you didn't give him a strong enough signal that YOU were the girl you wanted him to brag about to his friends. And maybe you did, but yet he just didn't take the bait. Either way, honey when you've given & shown all you can & yet someone STILL won't consider you for long-term commitment, it's best to just let go. I know it hurts but then again, are you sure you want this man, considering he's clearly jumping from one girl to the other. This Libra is seeking something that when he finds it, he may not be able to keep b/c of his own insecurities & fears. So either way, he probably did you a FAVOR by leaving you be in the friendship category
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Alot of people get their hearts broken by Libras or feel that they have been led on by Librans b/c of a Libran's ability to make everyone around them like them & get comfortable with them. As a Gem, you may not wear your heart on your sleeve except for the people who have deserved that privelege. But Libras are almost like actors who are preparing for a role. Denzel Washington internered at a law office for 3 months to see what it'd really be like to be a lawyer, & he did this so that he'd be able to get into his character better if he decided to take the role in that particular movie. And Librans do this too. They start off charming others, making others comfortable & giving you so much of their time, energy & conversation, not realizing that they are making that person assume that they are only doing so b/c of feelings of love. But in reality, he gives all his time to most everyone he knows & only ends up with the person that he feels the "acting" can turn into the "REAL" thing with. This may confuse you, but to him, it's almost like he's "sampling" all the women in his life & seeing which one ignites his fire the most.
And hey, it's okay to still like him for more than friendship, but you're going to have to let him know how you really feel too. If you hanging out with him will harbor nothing just jealousy, confusion & resent then don't hang out with him just for the sake of having his company. You want this guy for more than just company so don't sell yourself short & assume that by hanging with him, you'll get him to change his mind about you. He as a libra ALREADY made the decision to put you into the "friendship" category after all the hanging out you guys did together so don't fool yourself into believing that one more time of hanging out will change that. If you know deep down that being his friend will be more painful than rewarding then be honest with yourself FIRST & then tell him this. If you keep giving him your time, knowing that he only sees you as a friend, then you're only FURTHER giving him the signal that you are just okay with being friends. And it seems as if you are not so be honest with him & yourself
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And you deleting him off your friend's list may have been childish but the bigger picture is you deleted him for a reason. You deleted him from Myspace b/c you wish you had the ability to delete him from your thoughts & from your mind. How you reacted on myspace symbolized how you really felt. And hey, it's understandable. You work so hard to get someone to like you & even open up to them, with the trust that they'll see you for more than "friendship." And it seems like right when you get close, they all of the sudden act as if what they had with you was just "okay." So it's normal to just want to click the "delete" button the minute you find out you wasted your time, and all for nothing. It's almost like, "If I can't have you in the way that I want you, then I don't want you at all." And hey, that's fine if that's how you really feel. It's not how you really feel that's the problem, it's how you supress or deal with those feelings in front of him that can actually lead you further away from getting what you really want.
Try to go back to thinking with your logic, instead of all emotions. Libras aren't ones to see something they can't live without & yet let it walk right past them. So the mere fact that this Libra didn't scoop you up when he had the chance (and when you were ready & willing) should show you that he LITERALLY didn't see you in the same way that you saw him. And hey, that's normal. Maybe your own emotions & fantasy land mistook his actions for him liking you alot. You might've been so evolved in your own emotions & in the "fun times" that you MISSED The signal he gave you that he wasn't feeling you that hard. Either way, I think you should let go & move on. And possibly try the friendship thing LATER. But don't try to do the impossible & be friends when you really wanted something more b/c if you stay around, it'll be mental suicide for you & it'll take all the fun out of having love & being around the person you truly want.
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krysrenee7,
Thank you so much for writing back. You really made everything click for me. As much as I think he could possibly make one of the greatest friends on earth to me, I don't think I could handle it. Do you have any advice on how to tell him? I don't want to hurt his feelings or do this in a mean way. I think I gave him plenty of opportunity and told him straight out that he drives me crazy, he knew. I'll just be honest with him but I don't want to sound like a sap, lol. I suppose the sex thing had a lot to do with it, If that didn't happen I would've been thrilled to be his friend.
It's so amazing the truth to certain signs. I've met the same type of Libra before, it's almost shocking! The thing about them is they're almost addicting to me. Looking through my past it's one of the very few men I wanted to chase like no tomorrow. I think I really have to stay away from them, lol.
so thanks again, you're very sweet for taking your time out. I'm going to message him and just tell him frankly how I feel. I think I need to move on to an Aries or Aquarius smile
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Hi Gemineye,
I read you post and would have personally said you were the girl he was talking about, infact I still do. My advice do your thang and he will be back sniffing around you. When he does come back, make him work like h.ll so he knows what he is messing about with.
Good luck.
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Posted by Nubiangirl
Hi Gemineye,
I read you post and would have personally said you were the girl he was talking about, infact I still do. My advice do your thang and he will be back sniffing around you. When he does come back, make him work like h.ll so he knows what he is messing about with.
Good luck.


Hey Nubian!
I think truly think that I'm the type of girl he really wants to be with BUT he got distracted by another girl. She's a Scorp and I swear this is the third time in my life a Scorp woman has interfered with my relationships. I'm not the type to fight for a guy but I will wait for one I think is right. I won't make it obvious to the him, but I'll wait..secretly without him knowing this. That's what I'm doing with this Libra. Of course, I'm still going to do my thing and go out on dates etc.
I know he's telling me the truth, he did meet someone else. I'm pretty sure it was still while he was dating me too(which is fine and understandable we weren't in a committed relationship). The way he described it was like he fell in love instantly with this one and he was totally scared of his feelings. I don't understand how you can fall in love within weeks of meeting someone so it's obviously infatuation with this one. I'm not going to tell him that though, lol.
Now that I know much more about Libra's, I know how to act. I have this feeling he will be back. If not then oh well smile
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Just to clarify, I recently went through my past and realized a lot of things by just going through people's signs. I found I've always adored Libra's without knowing they were Libra until now.
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u should do what gem's do best gemineye !
tease him :p
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Posted by Upheaval
u should do what gem's do best gemineye !
tease him :p


oooo good idea. Give me some good one liners that don't go "too far". hehe!
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i dunno :p just be playfull , that's what attracts me in a gemini
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Posted by Upheaval
i dunno :p just be playfull , that's what attracts me in a gemini


Thanks smile I've been playing around with him through texts, man he's never answered so fast. Now I'm gonna back off and see what happens. I'm good at being playful for sure!!
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Posted by Gemineye
Posted by Upheaval
i dunno :p just be playfull , that's what attracts me in a gemini


Thanks smile I've been playing around with him through texts, man he's never answered so fast. Now I'm gonna back off and see what happens. I'm good at being playful for sure!!
click to expand


Allright nice to hear gemineye !
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Okay so I have recently started talking to a Libra male. I am a Scorp female and I feel the chemistry between him and i very strongly. It is almost electric! We have been talking on the phone for the last few wks but we have not seen each other in person. We are gong to be going on our first date this weekend and I have been so nervous. I have to admit, reading this thread has not helped matters much. It sounds like Libra men are the "love em' and leave em'" type. Although, this moght not be their intention, it appears, that this is often the end result. I know that this Libra man that I am dealing with is a bit picky. He has told me himself. I feel some comfort in the fact that we have both seen multiple pictures of one another and he contacts me multiple times throughout the day everyday. But like Krys said he might just be doing this to try me out as if I am his gf to see if I am "worthy". Lol. Gesh! Scary!
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"But like Krys said he might just be doing this to try me out as if I am his gf to see if I am "worthy". "

We just want a soul mate , that's all smile
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Posted by Upheaval
"But like Krys said he might just be doing this to try me out as if I am his gf to see if I am "worthy". "

We just want a soul mate , that's all smile


Let's get together and mate with our souls Tongue
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Posted by 22Diddy02
haha she a gemini 100% for sure LOL haha


That's right! Tongue
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They start off charming others, making others comfortable & giving you so much of their time, energy & conversation, not realizing that they are making that person assume that they are only doing so b/c of feelings of love. But in reality, he gives all his time to most everyone he knows & only ends up with the person that he feels the "acting" can turn into the "REAL" thing with. This may confuse you, but to him, it's almost like he's "sampling" all the women in his life & seeing which one ignites his fire the most.
Soo true, I do this but it doesn't make for a commitment until I am ready and convinced that the person is for me. You know if you jump straight in with someone and give them your all and not hold back on anything....what have they got to look forward to???...Nothing...
Unveiling a little bit at a time will always intrigue and keep them around until they are well and truely hooked! The trick with a Libran is to keep it exciting and dont let them get comfortable or bored!
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In fact I'd put that down to MEN in general!
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And he came back....but not for the "right" reasons if you know what I mean. LOL
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Posted by 22Diddy02
that normal for gemini & libra .. me and my ex used to be like that LOL not for the (right) reasons.


It's like he has some kind of sixth sense. After about a week of not texting at all he texts me randomly and says "I have a feeling you're still awake". I don't drink all too often but that night I was the drunkest I've been in a long time. So of course he came over and..... you know spent the night. Man, he has such a way of smoothing things over and acting all worried it's going to ruin our friendship etc. This man has an impression in my brain so deep I don't know if I can even talk to him anymore. I think I have to cut him off completely. There's VERY few men that have EVER made me feel this way. I'm deleting him from my contacts as we speak, ugh...LOL.
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Posted by natural25
Okay so I have recently started talking to a Libra male. I am a Scorp female and I feel the chemistry between him and i very strongly. It is almost electric! We have been talking on the phone for the last few wks but we have not seen each other in person. We are gong to be going on our first date this weekend and I have been so nervous. I have to admit, reading this thread has not helped matters much. It sounds like Libra men are the "love em' and leave em'" type. Although, this moght not be their intention, it appears, that this is often the end result. I know that this Libra man that I am dealing with is a bit picky. He has told me himself. I feel some comfort in the fact that we have both seen multiple pictures of one another and he contacts me multiple times throughout the day everyday. But like Krys said he might just be doing this to try me out as if I am his gf to see if I am "worthy". Lol. Gesh! Scary!


How did this work out for you? If I can offer you one piece of advice it's this....play HARD TO GET. I know most men like woman who are hard to get but ESPECIALLY Libra's. They'll chase you like no tomorrow the less attention you give them. I'm not saying that once he gets you you'll be "his" but that's what you have to do esp. in the beginning.
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Posted by 22Diddy02
at 1st i really like her and want our relationship to work, my gemini ex treat me like shit and dont give a crap about me so i broke it off with her after awhile she start callin me again but that time i'm still single so i play that little game she playing and see what she want from me.. end up she is serious about me.. nomore feeling g2g.


I'm sorry she treated you like shit, ugh. I really don't understand how this guy still and CAN remain friends even after great sex. I mean seriously, I cannot picture hanging out with this guy and not having sex. It's not just sex either don't get me wrong we talked for over 6 hours, and our talking leads to kissing etc etc. He's so amazing yet gets treated like crap by all these woman that he meets. He has no problem paying for everything and I'm very fair about it. If he drives over I'll cook dinner, if he pays for dinner I'll pay for the movies. He could literally get robbed blind and not even realize it, yet he CONTINUES to put himself into this bear trap of woman who step all over him. I just don't understand sometimes.
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Posted by 22Diddy02
good lord for 6 hours LOL i only hit 5hours and that my records haha seem like hes a big spender eh i used to be like that till peoples take advantage of me over and over so i stop hanging out with them and focus more on my career..he learn somehow.


I hope he learns quick, he's 36. Maybe one day he'll realize how good I really am. I already know how good he is. He's so kind and gentle and something I've always been looking for in a guy. Eh, whatcha gonna do. I guess I'm off to find another Libra!
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Posted by 22Diddy02
good lord for 6 hours LOL i only hit 5hours and that my records haha seem like hes a big spender eh i used to be like that till peoples take advantage of me over and over so i stop hanging out with them and focus more on my career..he learn somehow.


Oh LOL yeah 6 hours. We talked about everything from our fantasies, our skeletons etc. He's just so easy to talk to and so am I. I think maybe all my talking turned him off, lol. We Gemini's can talk talk talk talk.
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Posted by 22Diddy02
that is good to hear a gemini is serious about libra.. if my ex could think like you while we are dating, things wouldnt be this bad LOL everything too late now anyway.


Once a Gemini woman matures she will make the best wife there is smile
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Posted by 22Diddy02
but they still young and want to enjoy life more i guess LOL as for me i'm a workaholic so not many girls find that attractive but my arie LOL


There's no doubt about it, we gem's are young at heart. We'll always be this way too, but we are and can be very mature after we hit our 30's. smile
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