Libra male/ Aries chick
This topic was created in the Libra forum by firegirl on Tuesday, April 1, 2008 and has 14 replies.
Been dating my libra for a year, used to work w/ him so saw him everyday plus 2xs a week outside of work. No longer work with him so usually see him two times a week. Not dealing w/ the typical libra issues as he calls, texts, etc. on a regular basis.
Love the casualness of our relationship (dated a Scorpio prev and WAY too much for me)but kinda feeling like it should be progressing a liitle further at this point. Any thoughts? Very confused as a few weeks ago he was a little distant (taking longer to replying to texts, not calling as much), then came back w/ a lot of talk about how it's been a year and awesome, etc. We hang out twice a week, have lots of fun, he's been making plans w/ me for this summer, but for instance I suggested hanging out next fri & sat for my bday and now hes only avail on Sat but can hang out during the week. I am his longest relationship. Libra males, what do you make of this?
Love the casualness of our relationship (dated a Scorpio prev and WAY too much for me)but kinda feeling like it should be progressing a liitle further at this point. Any thoughts? Very confused as a few weeks ago he was a little distant (taking longer to replying to texts, not calling as much), then came back w/ a lot of talk about how it's been a year and awesome, etc. We hang out twice a week, have lots of fun, he's been making plans w/ me for this summer, but for instance I suggested hanging out next fri & sat for my bday and now hes only avail on Sat but can hang out during the week. I am his longest relationship. Libra males, what do you make of this?
Thanks thinktank, I'm not looking for a long-term commitment from him, it's odd because we get along great, it just doesn't seem like the relationship is progressing. With any other sign I would just casually bring it up but I feel like he would FREAK out or just hang out w/ me one more time a week to make me happy, not b/c he wants to (which is NOT what I want) Also I have a crazy job and sometimes 2 times a week is perfect, other weeks it would be nice to see him more.
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More than anything I am just trying to figure out where he is coming from. He doesn't have a lot of relationship experience and in his last she was very demanding and insisted they hang out every day which he did but w/ bitterness so this is likely a sensitive topic for him. He has been making plans w/ me for later this spring/summer/fall so I don't see him breaking up with me soon or anything. Occasionally he makes comments like "what am I going to do when you stop liking me" but this is rare and more of a self-esteem thing.
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Libra men are so difficult for Aries to figure out! Either way I'll probably give it a few more months and see what happens as he's fun to hang out w/ and does keep it touch w/ me in some form everyday. Just trying to figure out if he's just keeping me around to hang out w/ a few times a week until he finds someone better or if he's just not sure or something else.
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More than anything I am just trying to figure out where he is coming from. He doesn't have a lot of relationship experience and in his last she was very demanding and insisted they hang out every day which he did but w/ bitterness so this is likely a sensitive topic for him. He has been making plans w/ me for later this spring/summer/fall so I don't see him breaking up with me soon or anything. Occasionally he makes comments like "what am I going to do when you stop liking me" but this is rare and more of a self-esteem thing.
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Libra men are so difficult for Aries to figure out! Either way I'll probably give it a few more months and see what happens as he's fun to hang out w/ and does keep it touch w/ me in some form everyday. Just trying to figure out if he's just keeping me around to hang out w/ a few times a week until he finds someone better or if he's just not sure or something else.
in my experience it will not progress---keep it as a good friendship.
***Thanks thinktank, I'm not looking for a long-term commitment from him, it's odd because we get along great, it just doesn't seem like the relationship is progressing. With any other sign I would just casually bring it up but I feel like he would FREAK out or just hang out w/ me one more time a week to make me happy, not b/c he wants to***
If you don't want a long-term commitment then why would you expect it to progress? To what? If this is casual then that is what it is. Getting mixed messages and I think he is picking up on it.
If you don't want a long-term commitment then why would you expect it to progress? To what? If this is casual then that is what it is. Getting mixed messages and I think he is picking up on it.
"If you don't want a long-term commitment then why would you expect it to progress? To what? If this is casual then that is what it is. Getting mixed messages and I think he is picking up on it."
- I should clarify, more that I am not looking to move in together/marriage, etc at this time or anytime soon, not that I never would want that, but their is a lot of room to grow between hanging out twice a week and living w/ someone! I guess what I am confused about is that in all of my other relationships after awhile we just did more things together the longer we were dating, it was a natural progression each time and I'm just not sure what to think about my current situation. Maybe I do give mixed signals because as an Aries I am very independent and love my freedom as well as the closeness.
- I should clarify, more that I am not looking to move in together/marriage, etc at this time or anytime soon, not that I never would want that, but their is a lot of room to grow between hanging out twice a week and living w/ someone! I guess what I am confused about is that in all of my other relationships after awhile we just did more things together the longer we were dating, it was a natural progression each time and I'm just not sure what to think about my current situation. Maybe I do give mixed signals because as an Aries I am very independent and love my freedom as well as the closeness.
"Also I have a crazy job and sometimes 2 times a week is perfect, other weeks it would be nice to see him more. "
I would bring it up to him casually and say what you just did to us. That you would like to see him more but sometimes that would be hard for both of you. Include that you don't want to make him feel obligated.
Bring it up like your trying to get his advice on it. As you probably know by now Libras like giving advice and improving situations. He will get a chance to respond without feeling like your confronting him.
I would bring it up to him casually and say what you just did to us. That you would like to see him more but sometimes that would be hard for both of you. Include that you don't want to make him feel obligated.
Bring it up like your trying to get his advice on it. As you probably know by now Libras like giving advice and improving situations. He will get a chance to respond without feeling like your confronting him.
Thanks Angeleyes. great advice!
oops, angeleyes was me. I need to turn off the auto remember stuff on this computer.
Your welcome lol.
Your welcome lol.
As a Libra girlie dating an Aries man, one of many I have dated, I find there is a different feel to the Aries/Libra relationship. It feels more casual. It feels like a comfortable place to crash with a really good friend. I think this is where the confusion come in. It is such a healing combination. But passion? excitement? drama? You won't find it with this combo.
Firegirl,
I have the keys to my partner's place and sometimes if he is really busy, I will just go over (with his permission) and wait for him to finish his other stuff. Perhaps you and your libra might consider something like this.
We probably only spend 2-3 nights a week together cause we are both really busy. Could this be part of the problem?
Firegirl,
I have the keys to my partner's place and sometimes if he is really busy, I will just go over (with his permission) and wait for him to finish his other stuff. Perhaps you and your libra might consider something like this.
We probably only spend 2-3 nights a week together cause we are both really busy. Could this be part of the problem?
Thanks LS, I think I was just confused by the casualness, if it meant that he wasn't that into me vs. just the nature of our relationship. To be honest, I love this site but it kinda makes me paranoid! As ppl say that Libras are super sweet/cuddly/etc with everyone, can make anyone feel like their the only person in the room, etc I was starting to question things that intuitively I didn't before.
Either way he actually brought it up first this weekend, I gave my opinion and asked his advice and all is good now. Kinda nice to be able to come to an agreement without it becoming super emotional, just confusion and a problem that needed a solution.
Either way he actually brought it up first this weekend, I gave my opinion and asked his advice and all is good now. Kinda nice to be able to come to an agreement without it becoming super emotional, just confusion and a problem that needed a solution.
Don't be confused over the casualness of him. I've been dating my boyfriend for 16 months and I've been through this. I still go through this! It could be related to his sign, but I really think it could also be tied to his past with other relationships. My boyfriend was married for 7 years and he still has a hard time realizing that someone gave up on him in that marriage and when he thinks about this, he back pedals a little bit. My boyfriend also makes plans well into the future "We should go to New York City for New Year's Eve" or "You've never been to France? Sounds like we need to take a vacation"...but when I ask him if he wants to go see a movie this Friday, he will reply with "I don't know my plans yet". It's frustrating, but I've been teaching myself to accept that that's part of him and if I'm going to love him, I love all of him - good and bad.
I like LS's advice about the key. I have my boyfriend's key and he has mine. With each other's permission, we do over to the other's place if either of us has to work late. It also helps that we live 10 minutes away from each other. In Houston or any other large city, that's rare!
Are you and him exclusive? Have you guys progressed to at least that step? I assume you have.
Here's a suggestion. If you've met some of his friends and he's met yours, then I would throw him a party/get together in his honor...kinda like a Spring bar be que. Either do it at his place or yours, or have it outside at a park, but invite his friends and yours. Although I am not a huge advocate of astrology, I have read that Libras value their friends. If you incorporate his friends into this, I believe he would really enjoy that.
I like LS's advice about the key. I have my boyfriend's key and he has mine. With each other's permission, we do over to the other's place if either of us has to work late. It also helps that we live 10 minutes away from each other. In Houston or any other large city, that's rare!
Are you and him exclusive? Have you guys progressed to at least that step? I assume you have.
Here's a suggestion. If you've met some of his friends and he's met yours, then I would throw him a party/get together in his honor...kinda like a Spring bar be que. Either do it at his place or yours, or have it outside at a park, but invite his friends and yours. Although I am not a huge advocate of astrology, I have read that Libras value their friends. If you incorporate his friends into this, I believe he would really enjoy that.
I just read that he was in a relationship with a clingy girl who was demanding and insisted they saw each other everyday. If he shared this with you and expressed he stayed with her but was bitter, I would take that as him dropping you a hint. I would say his hint is "I like you but don't become like her". If she had to see him everyday and it drained him and you know this information, use it to your advantage!
Interesting HP, I DEFINATELY took his ex thing as a hint, tho he airs a lot of issues he had with her and how their different w/ me. We are exclusive, he refers to me as his gf, couldnt do the whole seeing someone/dating other people for more than a few months personally.
Things are going well now. Funny, I think the indecision about what to do on Fri nite vs. easily deciding to go to France in a few months boils down to not having to make a decision right on the spot. For ex, if he wants to go to France he doesnt have to officially make the decision until you book it vs. Fri is a few days away and I know mine doesnt like to break plans. Also mine seems to struggle more with the little decisions, i.e, what to order or make for dinner vs. changing jobs. I find it amusing though, as Iam quite the opposite.
Things are going well now. Funny, I think the indecision about what to do on Fri nite vs. easily deciding to go to France in a few months boils down to not having to make a decision right on the spot. For ex, if he wants to go to France he doesnt have to officially make the decision until you book it vs. Fri is a few days away and I know mine doesnt like to break plans. Also mine seems to struggle more with the little decisions, i.e, what to order or make for dinner vs. changing jobs. I find it amusing though, as Iam quite the opposite.
That's a point I hadn't thought about....his future decisions aren't on the spot. 2-3 days in advance is different. He still does not lock in decisions for last minute (2-3 days out) things, but he plans things several months out. He has a 150 mile bike ride this weekend and he committed to it last November. He has another 150 mile bike ride coming up in July that he committed to (bought the plane ticket to Colorado already) in January.
As far as the little decisions....mine is like that, but I think it's just because he's just not that picky about what he eats or what we do. I've gotten to the point where I just say "I'm making spaghetti for dinner" and leave it at that and he's content with that. But if I give him options "Do you want spaghetti, steak, or salad for dinner", he struggles.
As far as the little decisions....mine is like that, but I think it's just because he's just not that picky about what he eats or what we do. I've gotten to the point where I just say "I'm making spaghetti for dinner" and leave it at that and he's content with that. But if I give him options "Do you want spaghetti, steak, or salad for dinner", he struggles.
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