Libra Man and Virgo Woman - Libra lost interest or just preoccupied?

This topic was created in the Libra forum by MilaniKisses on Tuesday, March 7, 2017 and has 29 replies.
Hi all, I am a Virgo woman dating a Libra man. I use the word dating lightly because we are not exclusive and new. I've been on 4 dates with him so far and I understand that Libra men also need their personal time and space. Well we are going on day 3 of not seeing each other, and being a Virgo, when I want something, I want it now or if not, I'll begin to lose interests. My Libra man has been the most sincere, sweet and tender gentleman that I have ever met and I do like him a lot. Seeing that we're new, I feel its important that we build something strong at the beginning. My Libra man recently had a friend come in town and surprise him. I'm cool that he wants to hang with his friend, but I feel that he hasn't been as talkative or preoccupied with his personal time to text/call me or even miss me.

I know that he is into me because he ended his subscription to the dating site we met on, and he kissed me first and when we went to the zoo a few days ago, he held my hand the whole time. I just am terrified I'm losing him/his interest because his buddy has over welcomed his stay and we couldn't see each other.

Am I just over analyzing the situation or do you think his interest is still the same, its just he has been preoccupied with his friend? I want to ask him if he even misses me, but I don't know if that'll be a "negative" in a Libra man's book...
Have you spoken or texted during the last 3 days?
Posted by MilaniKisses
Hi all, I am a Virgo woman dating a Libra man. I use the word dating lightly because we are not exclusive and new. I've been on 4 dates with him so far and I understand that Libra men also need their personal time and space. Well we are going on day 3 of not seeing each other, and being a Virgo, when I want something, I want it now or if not, I'll begin to lose interests. My Libra man has been the most sincere, sweet and tender gentleman that I have ever met and I do like him a lot. Seeing that we're new, I feel its important that we build something strong at the beginning. My Libra man recently had a friend come in town and surprise him. I'm cool that he wants to hang with his friend, but I feel that he hasn't been as talkative or preoccupied with his personal time to text/call me or even miss me.

I know that he is into me because he ended his subscription to the dating site we met on, and he kissed me first and when we went to the zoo a few days ago, he held my hand the whole time. I just am terrified I'm losing him/his interest because his buddy has over welcomed his stay and we couldn't see each other.

Am I just over analyzing the situation or do you think his interest is still the same, its just he has been preoccupied with his friend? I want to ask him if he even misses me, but I don't know if that'll be a "negative" in a Libra man's book...
wow you are way too analyzing the situation - let him have fun with his friend - have you texted at all or had contact ? just tell him you miss him and don't expect so much - it's all still so new ...

3 days? Calm down or you'll ruin things.

I don't like people demanding things of me. If it's a case of now or not at all, then it's going to be a case of not at all.
Hi all, yeah the dude went cold... I texted him several times but he hasn't replied. I'm going to leave him alone until he reaches out to me. We met on a dating site and he has not been on there since the day he told me he cancelled his subscription because he "met me"... Not seeing him on there still gives me hope. But like I said, I am going to just leave him be. I've heard this happens with Libra men... they go cold/ rogue.
Before you said he didn't reply much for those three days... if he's replying at all, I don't think you have anything to worry about. How long did he not reply after you messaged him "several times"--- which is way too much by the way--- once is enough because Libras like to chase. We like you to show interest but we also don't want to feel like we're your only option and without us you'll get nervous. It would lower your market value in our eyes and that's a problem when a relationship is starting.
I can't speak for All Libras but many, again not all, many Libra man need to feel verbally adored, complimented and praised. Whomever does that best is usually who I want to be around the most. I want tell a woman this though. If I am not getting the love and adoration verbally relatively soon I get bored.
Posted by hardtolovelibra
Before you said he didn't reply much for those three days... if he's replying at all, I don't think you have anything to worry about. How long did he not reply after you messaged him "several times"--- which is way too much by the way--- once is enough because Libras like to chase. We like you to show interest but we also don't want to feel like we're your only option and without us you'll get nervous. It would lower your market value in our eyes and that's a problem when a relationship is starting.
I haven't heard from him in two full days now... My last text to him was yesterday morning. If he is doing the typical "libra" thing of going cold so he can analyze things > I think its childish and mean. If he needed to think about things, who could have given me the respect of letting me know he needs time to think. I'm not waiting on him, I've already been on two dates with other guys since he went rogue.
Posted by Goodtimes
I can't speak for All Libras but many, again not all, many Libra man need to feel verbally adored, complimented and praised. Whomever does that best is usually who I want to be around the most. I want tell a woman this though. If I am not getting the love and adoration verbally relatively soon I get bored.
Hi GoodTimes...

Yes, I gave him this admiration constantly... Even when I took us to the zoo and paid for it, I still thanked him for coming with me.
Posted by MilaniKisses
Posted by hardtolovelibra
Before you said he didn't reply much for those three days... if he's replying at all, I don't think you have anything to worry about. How long did he not reply after you messaged him "several times"--- which is way too much by the way--- once is enough because Libras like to chase. We like you to show interest but we also don't want to feel like we're your only option and without us you'll get nervous. It would lower your market value in our eyes and that's a problem when a relationship is starting.
I haven't heard from him in two full days now... My last text to him was yesterday morning. If he is doing the typical "libra" thing of going cold so he can analyze things > I think its childish and mean. If he needed to think about things, who could have given me the respect of letting me know he needs time to think. I'm not waiting on him, I've already been on two dates with other guys since he went rogue.
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Atta girl.

LibraLotus..

Yeah... But I miss him and hope he contacts me soon. He was a total sweetheart and gentleman...really everything I want in a man.
Posted by MilaniKisses
LibraLotus..

Yeah... But I miss him and hope he contacts me soon. He was a total sweetheart and gentleman...really everything I want in a man.
I'm talking to a libra guy right now.. if you can even call it that. We've texted for a few weeks now. I bailed on him twice and he bailed on me last night which I'm not upset about. He usually texts me in the morning but I haven't gotten a response yet and I'm not going to double text him.

I don't think he will stay silent for long. Is he posting on social media?
He's definitely not interested, I think he's getting a clingy vibe from you, I'm getting it even over the internet. Sorry!
OP, I'm going to give you some advice and what I am going say to has nothing to do with the fact that this boy is a libra...it's simply the dating game in today's society.

The holding hands, the canceling his subscription(as if it's the only way to find dates lol) the showering with attention is an illusion used in the service of getting you emotionally invested(which you already are) in order to get the befits of you(entertainment, sex) with out giving the stability of an actual commitment.

If a man(key word is man) finds a woman special, he's not gonna "want space" simply because "a friend" is coming into town...and your intuition is telling you this. Listen to it. It's why you're texting him and you're not clingy at all. Saying you are is disengenous at best. Que the player comments if it was you doing this. The elephant in the room is people are gonna have expectations of consistency after they've been bombarded with attention but no sooner than you say something about the manipulation(and that's what it is) then they'll flip it on you and indicate in some fashion that the two of you are not committed...but will damn sure expect you to act that way when it comes to giving them what they want and will either guilt trip you about by speaking you out or giving some charming excuse as to why you haven't heard from them. It's bullshit lol. People make time for those they care about and will find a way to constantly keep in touch.

The solution? Drop him. Now. Before it gets worse. And next time, if you truly want a healthy commitment? Establish a solid friendship first and be patient. Take your time. Let someone show you they're worthy of you. Not just charm and illusions of seriousness and superficial affection and texts and "dates." I'm talking about emotional investment that's backed up with real actions. See past the fluff. People will be who they are but you have to protect yourself. I'm not saying be closer off. But live your life and any many who wants to be in it, needs to prove that hes serious first...and only first. No negotiation. Good luck.
lol silly bitches are silly.
Posted by Sola
He's definitely not interested, I think he's getting a clingy vibe from you, I'm getting it even over the internet. Sorry!


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Posted by beautifulsoul74
OP, I'm going to give you some advice and what I am going say to has nothing to do with the fact that this boy is a libra...it's simply the dating game in today's society.

The holding hands, the canceling his subscription(as if it's the only way to find dates lol) the showering with attention is an illusion used in the service of getting you emotionally invested(which you already are) in order to get the befits of you(entertainment, sex) with out giving the stability of an actual commitment.

If a man(key word is man) finds a woman special, he's not gonna "want space" simply because "a friend" is coming into town...and your intuition is telling you this. Listen to it. It's why you're texting him and you're not clingy at all. Saying you are is disengenous at best. Que the player comments if it was you doing this. The elephant in the room is people are gonna have expectations of consistency after they've been bombarded with attention but no sooner than you say something about the manipulation(and that's what it is) then they'll flip it on you and indicate in some fashion that the two of you are not committed...but will damn sure expect you to act that way when it comes to giving them what they want and will either guilt trip you about by speaking you out or giving some charming excuse as to why you haven't heard from them. It's bullshit lol. People make time for those they care about and will find a way to constantly keep in touch.

The solution? Drop him. Now. Before it gets worse. And next time, if you truly want a healthy commitment? Establish a solid friendship first and be patient. Take your time. Let someone show you they're worthy of you. Not just charm and illusions of seriousness and superficial affection and texts and "dates." I'm talking about emotional investment that's backed up with real actions. See past the fluff. People will be who they are but you have to protect yourself. I'm not saying be closer off. But live your life and any many who wants to be in it, needs to prove that hes serious first...and only first. No negotiation. Good luck.
beautifulsoul74 - Thank you for your words of advice and outlook on the situation. Its been very uplifting.
Posted by MilaniKisses
Posted by beautifulsoul74
OP, I'm going to give you some advice and what I am going say to has nothing to do with the fact that this boy is a libra...it's simply the dating game in today's society.

The holding hands, the canceling his subscription(as if it's the only way to find dates lol) the showering with attention is an illusion used in the service of getting you emotionally invested(which you already are) in order to get the befits of you(entertainment, sex) with out giving the stability of an actual commitment.

If a man(key word is man) finds a woman special, he's not gonna "want space" simply because "a friend" is coming into town...and your intuition is telling you this. Listen to it. It's why you're texting him and you're not clingy at all. Saying you are is disengenous at best. Que the player comments if it was you doing this. The elephant in the room is people are gonna have expectations of consistency after they've been bombarded with attention but no sooner than you say something about the manipulation(and that's what it is) then they'll flip it on you and indicate in some fashion that the two of you are not committed...but will damn sure expect you to act that way when it comes to giving them what they want and will either guilt trip you about by speaking you out or giving some charming excuse as to why you haven't heard from them. It's bullshit lol. People make time for those they care about and will find a way to constantly keep in touch.

The solution? Drop him. Now. Before it gets worse. And next time, if you truly want a healthy commitment? Establish a solid friendship first and be patient. Take your time. Let someone show you they're worthy of you. Not just charm and illusions of seriousness and superficial affection and texts and "dates." I'm talking about emotional investment that's backed up with real actions. See past the fluff. People will be who they are but you have to protect yourself. I'm not saying be closer off. But live your life and any many who wants to be in it, needs to prove that hes serious first...and only first. No negotiation. Good luck.
beautifulsoul74 - Thank you for your words of advice and outlook on the situation. Its been very uplifting.
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Stop letting another person, who you BARELY KNOW, have so much power over your feelings and emotions. You'll live a lot happier life as opposed to this neuroses you've shown us.
Posted by MilaniKisses
Posted by Goodtimes
I can't speak for All Libras but many, again not all, many Libra man need to feel verbally adored, complimented and praised. Whomever does that best is usually who I want to be around the most. I want tell a woman this though. If I am not getting the love and adoration verbally relatively soon I get bored.
Hi GoodTimes...

Yes, I gave him this admiration constantly... Even when I took us to the zoo and paid for it, I still thanked him for coming with me.
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What's the update? Have you heard from our guy yet?

Libra male here. How did you leave things at the end of your date? If he didn't specifically say he was looking forward to seeing you again, he wasn't. Two days of no response would be unacceptable to me. If it would help you with closure, send a message along the lines of "It was really nice meeting you, best of luck going forward." If he responded with some sort of excuse or apology, and I were willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, I'd make it clear that brief, daily communication isn't "clinging".

Posted by LibraCodger
Libra male here. How did you leave things at the end of your date? If he didn't specifically say he was looking forward to seeing you again, he wasn't. Two days of no response would be unacceptable to me. If it would help you with closure, send a message along the lines of "It was really nice meeting you, best of luck going forward." If he responded with some sort of excuse or apology, and I were willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, I'd make it clear that brief, daily communication isn't "clinging".

LibraCodger - Thank you, I am going to try out the quote you suggested since I still haven't heard from him. I will let you all know how it goes...
*UPDATE*

So I heard back from him... It ended up not being me at all, but rather his past "high school sweetheart" got in contact with him. Still hurt that he didn't give me a chance, but oh well! We still continued to chat after he told me the truth... But I don't want to interfere with his decision. If things don't work out between them both, I hope he still thinks of me and tries to pursue 'us' if I'm still single by then but I'm not going to chase the man.

Though I'm not happy about what happened, its a huge relief to finally get closure. He agreed to keep in contact, and I dunno... maybe that's what we need right now - to build a friendship first. :-)
Even if he breaks up with her, you don't need to be his rebound "go to" gal.
Well... I plan to be friends with him... But being a Virgo, there is always two reasons for what we do. Winking Being friends with him to me means 1) building a genuine friendship with him 2) which then solidifies a foundation for us to move to the next step for when they do break up. Would I be a 'go-to' gal if I had always been there the whole time? :-)

They were together when they were teens. Sure a lot of things may seem the same for them, but is it really? It had been 22+ years since they dated in high school. A lot of things change in a person from when they were a teenager to an adult. To me its almost as if they are complete strangers starting something new. Am I wrong? Also he told me they are 'together' already which was fast!

Anyways, I told him Im happy for him and I hope the best for them. And I do... But I'll be waiting...

Bahaha jk about the waiting thing... Going on a date tonight with someone new!
Aquarius_beauty .... He did contact me. :-) Post before yours. And thank you for your advice.
Posted by MilaniKisses
Well... I plan to be friends with him... But being a Virgo, there is always two reasons for what we do. Winking Being friends with him to me means 1) building a genuine friendship with him 2) which then solidifies a foundation for us to move to the next step for when they do break up. Would I be a 'go-to' gal if I had always been there the whole time? :-)

They were together when they were teens. Sure a lot of things may seem the same for them, but is it really? It had been 22+ years since they dated in high school. A lot of things change in a person from when they were a teenager to an adult. To me its almost as if they are complete strangers starting something new. Am I wrong? Also he told me they are 'together' already which was fast!

Anyways, I told him Im happy for him and I hope the best for them. And I do... But I'll be waiting...

Bahaha jk about the waiting thing... Going on a date tonight with someone new!
So yeah you definitely were a bit too clingy for him. You'd be GREAT for another earth, water, or even fire sign though. Air signs though lover their freedom to come and go. Libra men really hold to that. One of my best friends is a Libra and he can be so flighty, but he's always in contact at the same time (Libra balance I suppose). I've also watched him ping pong between women before.

I'm going to recommend that if you have ulterior motives to be his "friend", don't do that. Libras can sense and HATE manipulation, even if they do it themselves. If you truly want to be his platonic buddy, that's fine. However if you have a burning in your loins for this man, don't lie to him (or yourself). Just simply let him know, "Hey no problem, let me know if you ever change your mind and we'll set get together then. I'd love to see you." and walk away. Then stay away and pursue other interests. This will give him the space (which Libras love) to balance out his mind and feelings. Over time he may even forget that you seemed clingy and contact you later. If he does reach out it will be his choice and you can naturally assume he wants to see you and make plans.

What I don't want you to fall into is the "friendship" situation that slowly becomes resentful over time. Trying to be close to a Libra who is backing away is like trying to catch the wind. It's not going to happen. As I mentioned Libras can be a little manipulative as well, he may use you if you choose to stick around until you get tired and walk away anyway.
Hi Chuckcem, Thank you got you for you response... You're right, he did sense a form of manipulation from me because he called me Manipulative! Yikes... I don't think I am though - I just think my straight forwardness by being a Virgo is something he couldn't handle... Then at the sametime when I noticed I was quick at the tongue, I soon regret it and then try to soften the conversation. I think that's where he misread me and my intentions. Anyways, his fiery Dragon side came out and he promptly told me not to text him anymore. I feel bad because I really liked the man. Blah, on to the next!
Posted by LibraCodger
Even if he breaks up with her, you don't need to be his rebound "go to" gal.
Oh, but she will be. You can already tell by how she's responding to the situation.

"Friends" with a Libra in this aspect is usually a chick in waiting when/if things go south with the current fling.

Posted by MilaniKisses
Hi Chuckcem, Thank you got you for you response... You're right, he did sense a form of manipulation from me because he called me Manipulative! Yikes... I don't think I am though - I just think my straight forwardness by being a Virgo is something he couldn't handle... Then at the sametime when I noticed I was quick at the tongue, I soon regret it and then try to soften the conversation. I think that's where he misread me and my intentions. Anyways, his fiery Dragon side came out and he promptly told me not to text him anymore. I feel bad because I really liked the man. Blah, on to the next!
A Libra has a one in three chance of having a Venus in Virgo... also as a Libra man a Virgo caught me from being my friend. She became my indispensable friend who I couldn't function without. Virgos genuinely can offer a genuine friendship. It catches the Libra by surprise, and when a Virgo leaves a Libra it's a pain that is remembered for a very long time.