Libra Man - Friend Zone - Dating - Friend Zone
This topic was created in the Libra forum by TaurusSPiscesMAriesR on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 and has 4 replies.
We met at work he was my boss at the time, we flirted with each other a lot. His Moon is Capricorn and his Rising is Scorpio, his Venus is Virgo. He wouldn't ask me out until after I was laid off - it was a big corporation - it was just for a coffee that turned into lunch, afterwards I found out that he had meant it as a just friends thing. Our next hang out was rescheduled constantly, and consequently I was late. He was incredibly upset but wouldn't directly say it. I wrote a harsh email about how he was acting, because at this point I thought he was done. He cleaned up, we had an agreement no rescheduling, no tardiness. Next hang out went well, so I asked if we could try dating. He picked me up paid for everything and offered a movie I'd enjoy. Always during the day time and the next hang outs he wouldn't pick me up, he wanted to meet there, and he started rescheduling again. Our next hang out and he wants to meet me at Best Buy, so he can look at computers and then we can go out to lunch. Lame.
He asked what I wanted to do, and I offered other things I'd like to do. But it's always what he wants to do. At this juncture I wanted to straighten some things out, because I was completely flummoxed at his back and forth. He said that he was feeling better, he was really ill for a while, and that he thinks he's ready to start dating, not with me, obviously. When I asked why not he said that we had a lot of differences in our relationships that he is more spontaneous, and that I'm too snarky. Then later in the conversation he purposefully goads me into witty banter and smiles, and says how much he enjoys that. When we first hung out he said he was very traditional in the way he dated and was very chivalrous. He also said he couldn't help flirting and that it was difficult to draw a friend line with me, but then would always want to hang out. I've caught him lying about various little things, which he shrugs off. He maintains that he wants to be friends, but every time he wants to hang out it's just the two of us in a date like setting, and now lately running errands.
I'm completely confused and hurt by this. What kind of friendship is this? Is he testing me?
He asked what I wanted to do, and I offered other things I'd like to do. But it's always what he wants to do. At this juncture I wanted to straighten some things out, because I was completely flummoxed at his back and forth. He said that he was feeling better, he was really ill for a while, and that he thinks he's ready to start dating, not with me, obviously. When I asked why not he said that we had a lot of differences in our relationships that he is more spontaneous, and that I'm too snarky. Then later in the conversation he purposefully goads me into witty banter and smiles, and says how much he enjoys that. When we first hung out he said he was very traditional in the way he dated and was very chivalrous. He also said he couldn't help flirting and that it was difficult to draw a friend line with me, but then would always want to hang out. I've caught him lying about various little things, which he shrugs off. He maintains that he wants to be friends, but every time he wants to hang out it's just the two of us in a date like setting, and now lately running errands.
I'm completely confused and hurt by this. What kind of friendship is this? Is he testing me?
Lol, I did like him, but now I'm angry.
Men test & size up women too
At one point he was taking you out & "dating" you b/c he was testing compatibility in the long run. For some reason, he decided that you 2 wouldn't be compatible as lovers.
That's the conclusion he drew from hanging out with you & I think his conclusion was fair b/c he at least gave it a good amount of time before he finally said ok, we're probably best as just friends.
He doesn't want to lose you as a friend, nor does he want to progress to a relationship with you. He probably knows that women have a hard time being platonic with the men that they like as more than a friend, so he's trying to be respectful of that wisdom & tread lightly while at the same time giving you constant reminders that you're just his "friend" so that you don't feel led on OR that you stop yourself anytime you feel yourself starting to get too close again
Understand that a man can handle being around someone he considers attractive & has good chemistry with w/o having the urge to be in a serious relationship with her. Women aren't so simple. He can handle this, but you can't. And if you can't, it's not his fault nor is he suddenly a bad guy. If you can't handle it, then stop hanging out with him.
This man has been very honest with you about where you 2 stand. He's not only left clues via his actions, he's told you also So now it's up to you. He did his part. If you can't handle it or if you don't want his friendship since you can't have him in a deeper way, that's fine, but cut things off for your own sake.
At one point he was taking you out & "dating" you b/c he was testing compatibility in the long run. For some reason, he decided that you 2 wouldn't be compatible as lovers.
That's the conclusion he drew from hanging out with you & I think his conclusion was fair b/c he at least gave it a good amount of time before he finally said ok, we're probably best as just friends.
He doesn't want to lose you as a friend, nor does he want to progress to a relationship with you. He probably knows that women have a hard time being platonic with the men that they like as more than a friend, so he's trying to be respectful of that wisdom & tread lightly while at the same time giving you constant reminders that you're just his "friend" so that you don't feel led on OR that you stop yourself anytime you feel yourself starting to get too close again
Understand that a man can handle being around someone he considers attractive & has good chemistry with w/o having the urge to be in a serious relationship with her. Women aren't so simple. He can handle this, but you can't. And if you can't, it's not his fault nor is he suddenly a bad guy. If you can't handle it, then stop hanging out with him.
This man has been very honest with you about where you 2 stand. He's not only left clues via his actions, he's told you also So now it's up to you. He did his part. If you can't handle it or if you don't want his friendship since you can't have him in a deeper way, that's fine, but cut things off for your own sake.
Thank you for your input. It's really helped get me out of this funk. I don't think he's a bad guy. I'm just bummed.
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