libra wife dosn't care

This topic was created in the Libra forum by libra male on Monday, April 27, 2009 and has 5 replies.
as a libra male i find myself drawn to these forums i have been married for 20 years, i just had a conversation with her about when we met, it was through a mutual friend over cb radio i went round for an i ball the same night as talking to her i found the conversation interesting and her attractive so i thought i better ask her out. the next day we went out and so on after a while i found her demanding repressive and violent, she said today that she would not have been bothered if i had not asked her out and would not have tried to get in touch after that day, the marriage has not been good we have a daughter who is now twenty she had problems with her since she was nine, so did my best to take the heat for her it has made me ill the stress etc, we have not had a love life for 15 years I'm afraid to say she shut me down big time. i stayed with her as i thought i needed to stay close to my daughter. i know my wife has had a bad upbringing due to her mother being violent and having lovers. i did love her and can't say i do now nor she me, she considered me to a walk over to begin with a proceeded to toughen me up by being confrontation with me which in the end led to me defending my self against her pushing slapping wielding knives's smashing plates throwing things etc. the fact is i want out when my daughter leaves home i will and my will be happy with that. more to follow.
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hey, that sounds like it must be tough to deal with. I think you should leave, for the sake of your daughter. it's nice to have two parent figures, but not when one of them is so destructive. you said your wife had a bad upbringing and that is how you're rationalising her behaviour. it seems as though your daughter has had a very similar upbringing to her mother.
you should atleast teach your daughter that it is better to walk away from a bad situation then stay in it or she's probably going to end up being the victim of a bad relationship too.
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your daughter is 20...how about the two of you move out together?
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Good advice somechick.
Leave, it's the best thing you can do. When a relationship has gotten to this level it is more damaging to the kids to stay. Neither of you are happy so why are you staying, if you leave now both will be able to find happiness again.
Sometimes we stay because we are scared of change and use the children as our excuse. It is scary going back out there all alone but trust me (I've been through it) within a month or 2 you will know that it was the best thing in the world for YOU and although the kids do initially have a problem, with love and understanding they do get by. One thing though, dont ever put your wife down to your daughter, if you have nothing good to say then dont say a thing!
Another thing, check yourself into counselling to enable you to sort through your feelings on the breakdown of your marriage and allow yourself to move on without the baggage.
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I have some Ideas but I have to ask, do you want to end your marriage and move on or do you want to find happiness with her. You stated that you would be happy with moving out after your daughter does but the way your post reads there really isn't a question in there and I get the sense ideally you want happiness with your wife.
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