Libra Women... if you were *not* interested?

This topic was created in the Libra forum by apex on Tuesday, December 31, 2013 and has 32 replies.
Hey guys,
Just wondering how you would treat a guy who you were not interested in, in a potentially romantic sense?
I know a girl who is born on the first day of the Libra sign and sometimes we're awesome. Like she will text me all the way til she goes to sleep (always replies to me), will receive my compliments, and at the zenith of our current friendship we flirted very obviously. However I'm not perfect because at times I slightly shun her when I shouldn't have, and she's definitely been flakey with me. She'll chat and hang out with everyone at our work but with me she keeps reserved... almost as if she's afraid of talking to me.
Thing is, she invited me over to her place on xmas (and we only knew each other for a couple of months), and assured me she wanted me there. Nothing ended up happening on xmas, and I was really upset. Other people assumed that I would be at her place for new years... but she never invited me.
So I wanted to ask what do you libra women do when you are actually not interested in romantic involvement? Because with the deep convos, deep questioning (on her part), I think she's open to a more romantic involvement, and maybe I just gotta make a move.
Anyway, hope you guys have a good new year!
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p.s i'm asking this because if i'm reading the signs right, the window of opportunity is closing very soon. If she really is into me, I've got one last shot left.
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What is your sign?
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sun is cancer... but i've got lots of gemini in my chart
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Sounds to me like you are going to have to be more direct with her. Make the first bold move. Libras are all about communication. Be direct, honest, and open. She may be mirroring your behavior toward her to see if you're words and actions will match. She sounds interested. If she weren't, she wouldn't waste her time giving you attention. One more thing to keep in mind....cancers and Libras seem to have a different "clock". Cancers take time to think and mull over things to be able to feel their feelings. Libras have a much faster time system. Though decisions are sometimes hard for us to make, we know what we want, but we don't have a lot of patience to wait and wait.
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Is she on the cusp? If she's got virgo traits, the virgo women i know love playing as hard to get as possible sometimes so that might be a factor. Libra women can be the same way and maybe your own mixed signals made her nervous. And what do you mean by "Nothing ended up happening on xmas, and I was really upset?" If you mean sexually, if she sensed your annoyance that nothing happened after only a couple of months of knowing her, she's likely turned off...i would be. If you mean emotionally, like a declaration of her feelings, you'll probably have to make the first move. I agree with the two libras who posted here; go for it and tell her exactly how you feel now!
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Okay guys so.... update. Saw her in the new year, took her to the side, and told her how I felt. She melted.... and then she started being more touchy-feely with me and complimented me on the smallest, funniest things I KNEW no one else would bother to compliment me on.
We've been on fire since, I'm very direct now in my approach. However, again something weird happened. Yesterday we made a spontaneous plan to go to lunch today after work. She flip-flopped a bit (she was busy working somewhere else), but after a bit of persevering she said she was keen and would come. Later that night I texted her saying she looked super great, and she immediately replied (during work) and gushed.
Today rolls up, and she ends up not coming. I asked her what's up and she texted me that that she was just going to hang around work on the other side of town and that I should go on without her. Should mention that that's her original place of work that she hasn't been to in awhile, so maybe that's why she stayed there (it was her original plan anyway). Furthermore, our thing today was gonna be with me, her, and our friend (that I was working with). So the atmosphere would have been different.
I suppose I'm not top priority yet (not like I think I should be just yet)... however... how would you libras perceive what just happened? And yes, she is on the virgo cusp... I've notice she is fun and flirty like a libra, but also has a deep, quiet side to her (that she says is her 'real' side). Sorta like my Gem-Cancer thing: I'm easily distractible and talkative like a Gemini, but I'm worrying on here like a Cancer LOL. And that Gemini Moon/Aries Mars in me is being super impatient.... I didn't even know I would like Libras but wow is this frustrating. Kinda fun though lol.
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Oh but please ladies tell me how *you* would act if someone was trying to woo you and you just weren't interested!
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Posted by apex
Oh but please ladies tell me how *you* would act if someone was trying to woo you and you just weren't interested!


I try to treat all my peers with respect and courtesy because it's the right thing to do. So, yeah, sometimes I think males believe I'm interested in them when I'm treating them as I'd treat anyone. I tend to show love to my loved ones more privately.
That said, if a male told me he was interested -- and he HAS to tell me because, without being told, I just assume he's being nice to me because he's a nice guy -- and I didn't return his feelings, I would thank him and tell him the truth as respectfully as I could.
However, I live in the Deep South and manners matter here, so I can't vouch for how Libras in other regions might behave.
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Thanks guys, that's what I thought. It's just that I dunno now if she's intentionally avoiding any chance to spend time with me outside work, or whether we've just always met unfortunate circumstances. She did invite me over for Xmas after all, and I know she doesn't say or do thigns without meaning them.
But boy oh boy she looks a helluva lot like the girl in Sweetz's profile pic!
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Honestly, and this sounds horrible, but I would start to make excuses for why I couldn't see the guy or avoid contact altogether. I hate hurting someones feelings and I guess I just assume that if I'm too "busy" to see them or hang out with them, it will give them the hint they need to know I'm not interested. Also, if I don't return a phone call or a text in less than a few hours, it's not a good sign for the guy--especially since I live with my phone by my side. I am big on communication and when I stop communicating or find ways/reasons to avoid it, I'm not interested.
Good Luck!
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Posted by apex
Okay guys so.... update. Saw her in the new year, took her to the side, and told her how I felt. She melted.... and then she started being more touchy-feely with me and complimented me on the smallest, funniest things I KNEW no one else would bother to compliment me on.
We've been on fire since, I'm very direct now in my approach. However, again something weird happened. Yesterday we made a spontaneous plan to go to lunch today after work. She flip-flopped a bit (she was busy working somewhere else), but after a bit of persevering she said she was keen and would come. Later that night I texted her saying she looked super great, and she immediately replied (during work) and gushed.
Today rolls up, and she ends up not coming. I asked her what's up and she texted me that that she was just going to hang around work on the other side of town and that I should go on without her. Should mention that that's her original place of work that she hasn't been to in awhile, so maybe that's why she stayed there (it was her original plan anyway). Furthermore, our thing today was gonna be with me, her, and our friend (that I was working with). So the atmosphere would have been different.
I suppose I'm not top priority yet (not like I think I should be just yet)... however... how would you libras perceive what just happened? And yes, she is on the virgo cusp... I've notice she is fun and flirty like a libra, but also has a deep, quiet side to her (that she says is her 'real' side). Sorta like my Gem-Cancer thing: I'm easily distractible and talkative like a Gemini, but I'm worrying on here like a Cancer LOL. And that Gemini Moon/Aries Mars in me is being super impatient.... I didn't even know I would like Libras but wow is this frustrating. Kinda fun though lol.


If it wasn't a one-on-one date anyway i wouldn't take that too personally, and unfortunately us libras can be a little flakey, but she's definitely showing you that she is interested and cares. Yes, we can be frustrating lol. As a libra woman, if i don't care, i wouldn't respond to compliments with more than a thank you, and i certainly wouldn't invite you over for christmas. If a guy is trying to pursue me and i'm not interested, i make it known.
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Posted by Sweeetz
Posted by apex
Thanks guys, that's what I thought. It's just that I dunno now if she's intentionally avoiding any chance to spend time with me outside work, or whether we've just always met unfortunate circumstances. She did invite me over for Xmas after all, and I know she doesn't say or do thigns without meaning them.
But boy oh boy she looks a helluva lot like the girl in Sweetz's profile pic!


Haha. What a coincidence. I'm not her but wouldn't that be funny? Anyway, you got a Christmas invite? That's kind of big. I know I wouldn't want to spend my holiday with just anybody. Hang in there. Things sound promising.
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Yeah that Christmas thing was really forward of her... but here's the thing... it never eventuated. I waited all Christmas day for her to text me and nothing happened. And I wasn't invited for New Years either, which I thought would've been the better option weeks ago.
I have a theory though, can you libras give your opinion? Both Christmas and New Years were at her place. Both times super close friends were invited (she shares an apartment with roommates/bffs), and I obviously was the odd one out. Is it possible that she flaked out because she got cold feet at me peering into her 'world' ? Just like how you guys apparently keep it light and superficial with a lot of people, might she have bitten off more than she could chew, decided it was too soon, and just let it slide?
All this stuff has only happened in the just over two weeks from the first invite to Christmas. To me that's like a million years. I'm not sure how you Libras perceive that amount of time. And mind you she's closer to the Virgo spectrum of Libra.
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Posted by sweetlibra34
Honestly, and this sounds horrible, but I would start to make excuses for why I couldn't see the guy or avoid contact altogether. I hate hurting someones feelings and I guess I just assume that if I'm too "busy" to see them or hang out with them, it will give them the hint they need to know I'm not interested. Also, if I don't return a phone call or a text in less than a few hours, it's not a good sign for the guy--especially since I live with my phone by my side. I am big on communication and when I stop communicating or find ways/reasons to avoid it, I'm not interested.
Good Luck!


On Friday when I asked her to hang out with me, I texted her later that she looked super gorgeous. She was still at work and in three minutes flat she texted back gushing. This is why I'm so confused as to why she didn't turn up the next day.
In terms of texting, she's the number one texter of all the people I know. Not even my longest standing friends or best friends text as quick and as much as she does. Here's an example: I was texting her the other day, making random small talk (I take ages to reply back to texting). Her average time to text me back was 15 minutes, despite me taking up to an hour at times to get back to her. Later on I found out that she was having a party with all her close friends doing all sorts of summer activities. I thought to myself: what kind of woman is texting me in the middle of having all that fun?
So the reason I'm talking to you ladies (and dudes) now is I'm confused as to why there always seems to be a missed opportunity to spend some decent quality time, away from work and other people. Gosh it would be so beautiful if the real reason was that if she did find herself alone with me she just wouldn't be able to help herself... all those emotions would spiral out of control. Dreams are free, right? hahaha
Thanks guys for your help so far!
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Posted by ANRivas2

If it wasn't a one-on-one date anyway i wouldn't take that too personally, and unfortunately us libras can be a little flakey, but she's definitely showing you that she is interested and cares. Yes, we can be frustrating lol. As a libra woman, if i don't care, i wouldn't respond to compliments with more than a thank you, and i certainly wouldn't invite you over for christmas. If a guy is trying to pursue me and i'm not interested, i make it known.


Flakiness is frustrating for sure, but it's a challenge all the same and I'm all game for challenges....
Would I be correct in saying that the flipside to all this flakiness is that when we do eventually find our way into your hearts, we become your unshakeable priority? I mean I hate clinginess, but there's something very attractive about being someone's undivided attention!
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Posted by apex
Posted by ANRivas2

If it wasn't a one-on-one date anyway i wouldn't take that too personally, and unfortunately us libras can be a little flakey, but she's definitely showing you that she is interested and cares. Yes, we can be frustrating lol. As a libra woman, if i don't care, i wouldn't respond to compliments with more than a thank you, and i certainly wouldn't invite you over for christmas. If a guy is trying to pursue me and i'm not interested, i make it known.


Flakiness is frustrating for sure, but it's a challenge all the same and I'm all game for challenges....
Would I be correct in saying that the flipside to all this flakiness is that when we do eventually find our way into your hearts, we become your unshakeable priority? I mean I hate clinginess, but there's something very attractive about being someone's undivided attention!
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Some libras are that way even with loved ones because it's not always about how we feel about other people, but generally the more we care the harder we will try not to be flakey. I don't think libra women typically make guys they're seeing the center of their lives but we'll make them high-priority. For your girl that might be different depending on her other placements, past relationships, and other factors.
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Posted by apex
Posted by Sweeetz
Posted by apex
Thanks guys, that's what I thought. It's just that I dunno now if she's intentionally avoiding any chance to spend time with me outside work, or whether we've just always met unfortunate circumstances. She did invite me over for Xmas after all, and I know she doesn't say or do thigns without meaning them.
But boy oh boy she looks a helluva lot like the girl in Sweetz's profile pic!


Haha. What a coincidence. I'm not her but wouldn't that be funny? Anyway, you got a Christmas invite? That's kind of big. I know I wouldn't want to spend my holiday with just anybody. Hang in there. Things sound promising.


Yeah that Christmas thing was really forward of her... but here's the thing... it never eventuated. I waited all Christmas day for her to text me and nothing happened. And I wasn't invited for New Years either, which I thought would've been the better option weeks ago.
I have a theory though, can you libras give your opinion? Both Christmas and New Years were at her place. Both times super close friends were invited (she shares an apartment with roommates/bffs), and I obviously was the odd one out. Is it possible that she flaked out because she got cold feet at me peering into her 'world' ? Just like how you guys apparently keep it light and superficial with a lot of people, might she have bitten off more than she could chew, decided it was too soon, and just let it slide?
All this stuff has only happened in the just over two weeks from the first invite to Christmas. To me that's like a million years. I'm not sure how you Libras perceive that amount of time. And mind you she's closer to the Virgo spectrum of Libra.
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The bolded is very possible! I thought that was a bit much for two people who are not yet in a serious relationship. But if she's more virgo, I know my virgo girl friend can move pretty quickly with guys despite how cautious she is.
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Cool to see I'm not the only one who thinks that!
Hmm... on the subject of texting/communicating, in general how long can you Libras tolerate not being talked to until you start getting anxious about their whereabouts/what they're thinking? I mean, a see this girl every week, and I initiate all the text convos (and she always texts back)... and while I don't play games, I do wanna know if she'll miss me if she doesn't see me or hear from me for a bit.
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Sweeetz, thanks for going back and re-reading the beginning of the thread. Was very much appreciated =).
It's not because I'm passive per se (I am a Mars in Aries), it's more that.... she's essentially my boss at work. That's where the awkwardness comes in. I think I'm not going to let that get in the way from here on out.
Anyway, all the times we've missed an opportunity, it's either been an event too soon (Xmas), or I really didn't ask her out on a date (more like a work hangout). Now, I'm not one to mistake the superficial Libra charm others have fallen for... I've seen her do it to me and to others. What confuses me is that she shows genuine interest at work (asks me pretty deep questions, makes herself available to talk all the time, crazy eye contact/looks at me when I'm not looking etc), and then seems to elude me when there's an opportunity to capitalize on that interest. That being said, I'm just going to make an actual date/flat out ask her if she's interested, like you said.
As for the flakiness part, I'm not a doormat, and I have little tolerance for it. I don't think she's playing me, but I do think if anything she's feeling a bit insecure and indecisive about where I stand, which is why she doesn't find herself committing. I suppose just being direct with her will make her feel more secure about everything.
Can you do chart readings yourself though? If so, I can PM you the details.
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Cheers Sweetz. Glad you didn't post the location and stuff though! =)
If someone could give me a quick run down on what the Houses mean though?
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Posted by sweetlibra34
Honestly, and this sounds horrible, but I would start to make excuses for why I couldn't see the guy or avoid contact altogether. I hate hurting someones feelings and I guess I just assume that if I'm too "busy" to see them or hang out with them, it will give them the hint they need to know I'm not interested. Also, if I don't return a phone call or a text in less than a few hours, it's not a good sign for the guy--especially since I live with my phone by my side. I am big on communication and when I stop communicating or find ways/reasons to avoid it, I'm not interested.
Good Luck!


Is this our sweetlibra back?
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Hey sweethearts I'm from New Zealand too!
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Posted by Sweeetz
Posted by apex
Oh but please ladies tell me how *you* would act if someone was trying to woo you and you just weren't interested!


Personally I wouldn't entertain someone I wasn't interested in. It's unfair to them and to me. It's also a waste of both of our time. It would make me uncomfortable to be pursued by someone I wasn't interested in so I would politely decline any advances. If she's entertaining your advances she probably likes you. Libras are passive though. You'll have to be the aggressor.
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^^^^
I won't bother with someone I'm not interested In other than light flirty how are you etc... I certainly wouldn't invite them over on a holiday or any day unless I thought you were alone on holiday. I have alot of Virgo placements also...we libra girls tend to weigh things back and forth and you know we are famous for indecision because of that!
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So... update.
Posted by apex
We've been on fire since, I'm very direct now in my approach. However, again something weird happened. Yesterday we made a spontaneous plan to go to lunch today after work. She flip-flopped a bit (she was busy working somewhere else), but after a bit of persevering she said she was keen and would come. Later that night I texted her saying she looked super great, and she immediately replied (during work) and gushed.
Today rolls up, and she ends up not coming. I asked her what's up and she texted me that that she was just going to hang around work on the other side of town and that I should go on without her. Should mention that that's her original place of work that she hasn't been to in awhile, so maybe that's why she stayed there (it was her original plan anyway). Furthermore, our thing today was gonna be with me, her, and our friend (that I was working with). So the atmosphere would have been different.



The bold was the last bit of good contact (from my perspective) I have had with her. That was on Friday.
Now, several days later, she still texts me back when I text her, but it's one word replies, and when I saw her at work today... well, she wasn't making herself entirely available. There was a Bye (and a Hi lol), an off-the-cuff smile, and that was it. In fact, it seems that she was avoiding me altogether.
Sweeetz mentioned an Aqua Moon would be the reason all this drama is happening, but I'm not sure. One thing I know for sure: I'm giving her space. Remember, this rollercoaster was done in a span of two and a half weeks, constant communication and whatnot. I'm cool with that, but I think it's taken a toll on her.
Anyone got an opinion on what's going on inside her head?
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sweetlibra34 hit the nail on the head!!!! When the return calls and texts cease, it pretty much means we're no longer interested or pretty tee'd off about something you've done~~one or the other. We generally don't abruptly stop communicating with someone we like unless something ugly went down..lol And...Oh, if pushed, we will still be nice to you because that is our nature, but as far as being romantically interested...probably not. However, if you push to hard, all communication will come to a screeching halt and probably forever. With all that said, I do think she's very interested in you, but she may have some other things going on. Yes, sometimes we do get busy and may not be able to keep our plans so I wouldn't read to much into her throwing you a curve ball kinda at the last minute. If she's still communicating with you, then she still has some interest. I will admit, we can be complicated creatures emotionally until we are SURE you are the one..sorry..that's just the way we're made.
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Is this our sweetlibra back?



LOL Sweethearts. That's my doppleganger. I'm the original SweetLibra. It confused me the first time I saw her screen name too. I had to do a double take. Us Libras and our creativity, sigh.


Oh...now that's confusing! I would have talked to you all along back then and then thought it was still you and it wasn't... Welcome back anyway smile
Your names would have been slightly different though wouldn't they?
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Posted by apex
Hey sweethearts I'm from New Zealand too!


Welcome to this crazy site.... I think...you'll work it out, real eye opener for us small town folk! lol
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Guys, to be honest, it all crashed and burned. You wanna know the story? here goes:
So basically, she was cold to me after last weekend. In all our communication. I wasn't exactly happy with it. And then yesterday, when I met her, I could almost SMELL her ultra cold attitude towards me. It was so bad. When I came in, saw her, did our greetings, I asked her if she wanted to come help me out on a project. She said she was too busy doing something else. So I go off to do my own thing, and wouldn't you believe, this girl spends the next 20 mins mucking around with other colleagues. In front of me.
Anyway, we pass each other here and there, keeping the conversation light and brief. She tells me her plan of attack for the day, and this is where I wanted to make myself known: I was going to essentially be around the area she would be at later on in the day. Guess what happens. Instead of doing her plan of attack, she goes off and heads out the door, again chatting to everybody else for five minutes on the way out. I throw my arms up in the air and run after her, and just tell her how I feel about her, and apologized if she felt uncomfortable. She said she wasn't feeling uncomfortable (lol Bullshit), but then asked what was I expecting since I worked under her. I said okay, no biggie, and to be honest a huge sense of relief swept over me, maybe coz I'm Gemini Moon so I just got over it the minute we ended that conversation.
Ten minutes later, she texts me saying that it's probably best if we don't work together again, reiterating that I was above my head thinking could have had something.
Here's the thing: for a couple of hours I thought to myself, "Did I really try and read into everything this past month and a half?". I don't do that kinda stuff, especially because I can see through superficial niceties. But I doubted myself.... until I realized something: I knew she was dead cold to me these last few days. Absolutely dead cold. And I KNEW it was not going to end well that day if I went in for the kill (which I did). I just did it anyway because I've got my own life to attend to.
So my conclusion is this: I wasn't seeing anything I wanted to see these last couple of months. What I saw was a genuine attraction which she could not come to terms with, flip-flopped, and fucked up. It's unfortunate it had to end this way because in all honesty we worked like crazy together, but yeah...
But because I'm a good guy, I'll say this: she genuinely is on
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Oh, shit my original post was too long as well... here's the last sentence
But because I'm a good guy, I'll say this: she genuinely is one of the most wonderful people I've ever met. Super gorgeous with no ego, and always willing to help people. Very level headed, and determined. Apparently I was not going to mess up that mojo of hers LOL
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Posted by jennycodehero
this is so interesting. i find myself somewhat in the same situation, except the roles are reversed. i have always been drawn to cancers, they drive me crazy. from personal experience, i always have a strong desire to get into the heads of cancer men. i can't stand not being able to figure out how you think. personally, i will never ever put myself out there too far. feeling vulnerable is not something i deal with very well. i tend to make small movements and expect the man i'm interested in to automatically catch on to the fact that i'm into him and then allow him to pursue me. cancers are intuitive and it seems you are rather observant, so that's good. i feel overwhelmed really easily. even with guys that i'm interested in. i'm always self-conscious and terrified that i'm going to hurt them or disappoint them. so i can take an hour to respond to a text from a guy i'm very interested in. we are very critical of ourselves. be patient with her. i've been into the same cancer for over a year without anything happening. i could be the exception. but i don't think she's going anywhere if she has feelings for you. things will progress. just possibly not as quickly as you'd wish


That's quite fascinating. I think she initially was attracted to me because she wanted to figure me out. And I was hitting all the right spots. But I"m hasty, and she isn't.
I hope you Libras do not have a tendency to try worm your way back in lol. Remember, I didn't hurt or or cause her any offencse, I just went pretty forward with saying I apologize for the awkwardness, but I like you. If she does try get back, she's going to be pretty disappointed lol
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Posted by tiziani
I'm actually not sure if I can remember seeing a chart with that many difficult aspects going for it lol


LOL she is one of a kind. From the ground level, it seems to be the case. Could you however give me the down low as to why that chart looks difficult?
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I'm sorry it didn't work out for you Apex. I know I'm not a Libra but I do have a Libra moon which governs a lot of my emotional aspect and I am currently seeing a Cancer guy. As a person who always gives unsolicited advice, I'd like to say take it more slow next time. It is definitely good that you told her you like her, as you should be honest, my cancer did that off the bat and it didn't hinder our relationship. Just know that if she hasn't spoken her feelings to you it's because she might still be indecisive so it's best to take it slow... my Cancer did and it's only made me care for him more and more each day. He still shows me he cares with sweet romantic things but he has definitely taken control by going at his pace which is slow (he has Taurus moon). Good luck in your future endeavors! I wish you the best!
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