libran confused about libran!...yes it does happen

This topic was created in the Libra forum by egyptianeyes77 on Monday, April 18, 2011 and has 13 replies.
no reply, no call??_of course a million things darting around in my head now:
- That??s two messages he didn??t reply to, nor acknowledge in a phone call
- He was acting MUCH different than before??_like he discovered something about me that I don??t know about myself??_I promise u all that I saw it in his eyes??_there was a different look
- he??s told me that he??s extra busy with work & I respect that so I text him so as to not interrupt business, nor come off as clingy, but also let him know I??m thinking about him & haven??t forgotten him...but at the same time he??s mentioned he wants to be spoiled like a baby & one point in time he called & said (convo not here cuz this post is ALREADY way too long) ???it would be nice to have u call & say I miss u from time to time????_
I have to admit??_DAMN!...librans are confusing!...& I know this post is ridiculously long, but I know that u guys know that librans are VERY detail-oriented &, probably, somewhat paranoid...
So after all this very ???unbalanced?? rambling??_is he just weighing stuff out & should I give him his space (remember we don??t like clinginess)??_or do I take matters into my own hands & surprise him? (but risk being too clingy, if he??s weighing stuff out & needs space)??_DAMN LIBRAN INDECISION!
I honestly don??t want to lose this one??_but something u should know about me in particular??_I??ve been hurt VERY bad by someone before who was equally as charming & serious (even proposed to me) a Taurus??_so I??m also overly cautious now with the entire male species??_
I would just give him space...
even if that #3 sounds like the fool is full of himself a tad...But...he may just be telling you that he wants to have constant assurances that he is IT for you. He could have been in some messed up relationship where he was under appreciated. I can tell you that that my Libra loves to be buttered up once in a while. I think it's a guy thing.
Find out what's hiding behind that request and go from there. If it makes sense to you, than that's ok, but if it sounds like madness for the sake of just being mad, than run away or he will be a controlling freak in the end.
just my 2 cents.
LOL @ #3 flaw, how BALLSY!... I'd have probably said something like, "Oh, that's very interesting, and I feel amused.. I must have that FLAW too... because *I* certainly expect a man to 'go out of his way' to prove he's WORTHY of my everything. What do you think?"
Other than that, sounds like a double-dose of mutual Libra indecision and over-analyzing to me, but more YOU than HIM!
You texted to compliment him and say you were thinking of him (scent still on you).. but you .. what? Texted with this neediness, this EXPECTATION of him to reply back and validate your feelings.. you were attached to the outcome of a text? Aww :c What did you EXPECT him to answer? Besides, let HIM reach out to you, don't set the tone for YOU being the one to always initiate.
my reply: ???I would be lying if I said otherwise??_thanks 4 being who u r????_
no reply, no call??_of course a million things darting around in my head now:

As gently as possible.. he DID answer your long, caring text.. what was he supposed to say to that last part? You're welcome? I mean, not every text goes through or is received, not every one NEEDS an answer, sometimes you're busy, sometimes you don't feel like answering... and it just seems to me THAT text wouldn't require an answer, and texting is NOT really the place to continue an emotional, personal convo. You're feeling on edge and oversensitive and LOOKING for problems or issues... this could end up making you act out of character, like a basket case.. make you start acting all twisted up and weird around him.. which will then turn him off or confuse him and make him pull back to re-evaluate.. and making YOU mistakenly think that the "little bit" of sexual gratification was all he wanted, and THAT'S why he's pulling back.
Deep breath, honey. Reeeelax. Don't drive yourself nuts and start acting like someone YOU don't even like.. stay centered and happy, not acting or feeling needy or dependent on HIM to make you feel good. Just stay the lovely Libra lady he's been attracted to.. one day at a time, don't get in a rush and don't make yourself crazy yet. Give the man a chance to prove HE will contribute something worthwhile to YOUR life.
I think he is just a silly boy talking out his ass. Let him miss you for a few days. If he likes you, he'll come find you.
#3 doesn't seem like a huge deal to me. Everyone wants to feel special. He may have been expecting a response, when you didn't give him the response he wanted, he went cold. He'll warm up again. Probably when he looks up and realizes he hasn't heard from you for a few days.
Posted by Nefer

Deep breath, honey. Reeeelax. Don't drive yourself nuts and start acting like someone YOU don't even like.. stay centered and happy, not acting or feeling needy or dependent on HIM to make you feel good. Just stay the lovely Libra lady he's been attracted to.. one day at a time, don't get in a rush and don't make yourself crazy yet. Give the man a chance to prove HE will contribute something worthwhile to YOUR life.



good advice. I think this one should be given to all women. I'm taking it too - I have a habit of jumping both feet in when it feels good, when a simple stroll would be more adequate.
I think it's best to just give him a breather - he will come back. smile
Being a libra, i don??t really seek out relationship advice??_I tend to give it out & it works for others??_when it comes to myself & I??m the one in the relationship, my scales are out of whack so I tend to lose any sensibility I have??_
I have to admit, I wasn??t even going to post, but SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO glad I did??_seriously u guys??_u have tipped my scales back to normal again! : )
@libraluv:
Flaw #3 -- yeah??_I was shocked & wanted to scream out & be like r u kidding me?! An ULTIMATUM?!, but being so very libra-like, I gave him a very toned down subtle version & hence the ???that puts a lot of stress on me??
@roamingfree:
he did mention he was married & now recently divorced??_I didn??t want to pry into his private life just yet & come out & ask why?...that little by little I could get the answer out of him when he??s fully opened up to me & come out & say it himself without my having to ask him??_he did however mention that his ex was very moody & guilt-tripped him a lot??_so that was enough of a cue for me to back down a bit & give him space (which I myself enjoy as I had disclosed to him that i had been in unhappy in a relationship where the guy was overly suffocating, calling me ten times overseas telling me he missed me & I was like seriously give me some time to miss you??_of course didn??t tell that ex that either, I just would answer 1 or 2 calls out of his 10)??_but def agree that he needs to be buttered up (like almost EVERY male out there)??_only with libra it??s more difficult??_too much buttering, u start wondering if they??re for real or too good to be true + they??re too clingy??_too little, u question if they??re into u or not??_u need to find a balance??_& so I??m adopting my very own ???IV drip?? system with him based on what I know so far??_dosing him with sugar at different intervals??_some really big doses mixed with some little ones??_until I can gauge exactly what he??s looking for??_ayyyy! So much hard work!
& def def would NEVER even give him the chance to control me completely (against my will)??_that is a HUGE no no for a libra Winking
as for jumping both feet in??_am guilty as charged! Winking??_ when I fall??_I FALL!...wish I could learn to stroll!
@nefer:
U r soooooo right!...i have to admit I have been looking for something wrong (perhaps because of my last relationship with the taurean where everything was mind-blowing & ???perfect??, then turned sour) & have def had the thought of him wanting a little bit of sexual gratification pop up??_we weigh things out & try to see all different possibilities in any given situation to make as good a decision as possible??_can??t help it??_
As for the text??_thanks for helping me see how silly I can be at times! Winking couldn??t agree with u more! smile
Loved this:
Deep breath, honey. Reeeelax. Don't drive yourself nuts and start acting like someone YOU don't even like.. stay centered and happy, not acting or feeling needy or dependent on HIM to make you feel good. Just stay the lovely Libra lady he's been attracted to.. one day at a time, don't get in a rush and don't make yourself crazy yet. Give the man a chance to prove HE will contribute something worthwhile to YOUR life.
Absolutely BRILLIANT!! smile & def agree with roaming free that this should be given to all women??_totally pointed out something i always abide by, but lost when my scales tipped??_thanks for helping me center them again Winking
@little_sparrow:
Agree x million!...Thanks for the reality check! Winking
@aquagirl24:
Sarcasm? Winking
In the end??_am VERY grateful for having come across this forum & for having posted...u guys have seriously helped me get my scales in gear...thanks a million smile
FINAL DECISION (hahahaha??_what?!...A LIBRA actually made their mind up?! Winking): give him space??_if he loves me as he says, he??ll come back??_he knows where to find me??_when he does come around will start ???IV dripping?? sugar into his system ; )
* he did mention he was married & now recently divorced??_I didn??t want to pry into his private life just yet & come out & ask why?.
How recently divorced?
I'm dating a divorced guy. He was really forth right about the whole thing. I asked the questions cause ultimately, if it works out and if they are have a kid, you are marrying her as well. You need to know what happened, why, how he feels about it, where he lays blame, and where HE takes responsibility for the demise.
You have to find out where his baggage is. You can't see it as prying (I have the same thing. Think it is a libra thing. I don't like pushing for the personal details of someone's life. I feel it is rude or something. But you can't look at it this way. You have to find out if he is a good partner FOR YOU.
You see YOU have to be looking at him and asking is he what *I* want? Is he good enough for me?
*until I can gauge exactly what he??s looking for
You need to gauge is he exactly what YOU are looking for? Is your way of loving one he can appreciate? Is his way of loving one YOU can appreciate? If you have turn yourself inside out, he aint it.
That being said, go with the flow. RElationships are dances sometimes coming together, sometimes back off. Not getting too hung up if someone does the wrong step or getting too upset if they squash your toe. Laughing when you fall down. All good stuff. Sometimes, when we focus to much on HE we forget us and then we cling. So keep doing your own thing. Don't give up your life. Let your light shine.
*gives you a quick shoulder rub, gives you the bucket to spit into, pats your but, and throws you back into the ring*
* @little_sparrow:
Agree x million!...Thanks for the reality check!
Anytime!
just go with what FEELs good. I am. The sugaring - I don't think you could do the fake buttering up, just do what you would like to do. I jump in too, and seems my Libra did as well - so maybe you will find yourself in similar predicament?
I wish you very well and hope this will be a great relationship for you. smile
So since I last wrote, he??s called a couple of times & with each time he calls, I feel I should continue on smile??_but being that I??m free & not working yet & he??s working like crazy (I know I??d do the same if I was)??_I??m overanalyzing a lot of things??_a bit too much free time on my hands, in addition to the fact that I??m highly attracted to him (which doesn??t come easily to me)??_that tends to drive me crazy! Winking
@little_sparrow:
>How recently divorced?
He really didn??t mention how recently??_he just said he was divorced & left at that??_I, however, did some ???FBI?? work on my own & found a couple of pics of him with his ring still on up until mid 2010 so I assume it has to be recent??_still need to ask him about that??_but like u said ???I have the same thing. Think it is a libra thing. I don't like pushing for the personal details of someone's life. I feel it is rude or something.??
I tend to also not ask for personal details??_maybe it is a libra thing Winking??_but totally agree that I can??t look at it being rude ??_the way I think about it is the more he gets to know me better, the more he??s willing to ???spill the beans?? on himself??_if that doesn??t happen, then I will take matters into my own hands...I owe it to myself & I know that
>You need to know what happened, why, how he feels about it, where he lays blame, and where HE takes responsibility for >the demise.
What I know so far is that she nagged him a lot & was very demanding??_he also blames himself in that he works a lot & that she didn??t like??_he asked me if that was going to be a problem??_I personally don??t think it is, because I know how demanding work can be especially if u own the business (I??m a dentist & plan on having my own clinic soon so I know how much time being self-employed takes up??_he knows that about me too & is in fact encouraging me to start it up??_he??s found a place nearby that would make a perfect one??_so who knows? Winking)
>You need to gauge is he exactly what YOU are looking for? Is your way of loving one he can appreciate? Is his way of >loving one YOU can appreciate? If you have turn yourself inside out, he aint it.
Honestly??_it??s too soon to really tell??_all I know now is that he fits the basic criteria I??m looking for in a man & then some Winking??_the chemistry is definitely there??_just need to know him more & I??m sure I will the more I get to see him??_it??s been a little less than week since I last saw him??_I??d luv to see him more often, but obviously everyone has their own obligations to attend to??_I??m just going to go along with it because I see massive potential (something which I haven??t found in about 5 years or so!...sure I??ve gone thru those time-killing types of relationships, but haven??t found anything really worth pursuing until I found him)
>That being said, go with the flow. RElationships are dances sometimes coming together, sometimes back off. Not getting >too hung up if someone does the wrong step or getting too upset if they squash your toe. Laughing when you fall down. >All good stuff. Sometimes, when we focus to much on HE we forget us and then we cling. So keep doing your own thing. >Don't give up your life. Let your light shine.
Very beautifully put! smile
*gives you a quick shoulder rub, gives you the bucket to spit into, pats your but, and throws you back into the ring*
Thanks for the encouragement! I totally needed that! Winking
@Roamingfree:
just go with what FEELs good. I am. The sugaring - I don't think you could do the fake buttering up, just do what you would like to do. I jump in too, and seems my Libra did as well - so maybe you will find yourself in similar predicament?
most def not! Winking??_my feelings tend to show, no matter how diplomatic I try to be??_so fake buttering no??_but doing what comes to my mind (& heart)??_YES! smile
I wish you very well and hope this will be a great relationship for you.
Thanks smile I really hope so too!
In the end, I??m very confident of myself & know what I??m looking for??_& though I know that I can??t always get what I want, I know what I am willing to & what I will not accept??_(he had asked me what 3 things I will never be able to accept & are deal/relationship breakers; my reply: dishonesty, cheating & thinking ur above someone & if any of those occurs, I would appreciate his telling me flat out, instead of hiding them, because I have the capacity to forgive, but instead of a full-blow relationship, I would maintain a friendship, nothing more though)
So two songs very expressive of how I view relationships in general, though NOT to be understood that I think I??m above everyone else Winking:

Mary J. Blige??s ???The One??
Lyrics: http://www.metrolyrics.com/im-the-one-lyrics-mary-j-blige.html
Video:

Ne Yo ??? I Come First
Lyrics: http://www.metrolyrics.com/i-come-first-lyrics-neyo.html
Video:

do u know how long it takes 2 libras to break up? idk my damn self thats why im askin u

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