Libran Mind
This topic was created in the Libra forum by makeupfan16 on Saturday, April 25, 2009 and has 30 replies.
I'm a Gemini woman married to a Libra man and now he doesn't want to be with me. It all happened so suddenly, we had a fight a couple days before he told me to go stay at my mom's and like a good girl I did, because I love him so much. When he told me to go to my mom's he told me to give him time until he knew what he wanted to do. After I left for my mom's he went to N.Y. for a week. So I held onto hope that after he got back, we could talk. But after getting back he didn't call me, so I went to talk to him, but he wouldn't listen to me.... he already made up his mind and now is telling me to move on. From my point of view, he's not being fair with me, or this marriage. How do I get through to him? I feel like anything I say doesn't matter to him. Is he confused, or has he made up his mind already and won't change his mind? Is there a way to get a Libra to see things from my point of view? Because I know a Libra person can't make up their mind sometimes like Geminis, but I don't know their mind THAT well.... so I need help!
No no, he didn't say 'go to your mom's house like a good girl' he said 'go to your mom's house, until I figure out the situation' and I, like a good girl obeyed because I love him way too much for my own good. No, he wasn't being sarcastic, he said it very calmly as if he thought it through, or needed time to think it through, which is why I wanted to give him space, because I know a person needs their space.
This is pretty serious. Have you had problems? Why would you just off to your mom's like that. I'm thinking he is very serious and you just played into his plan. Didn't you see this coming? Good Luck this is going take a good Lawyer and if I were you I would get on it immediately.
This is difficult about what to say maybe he wanted to have a coersive (but gentle and kind and considerate) leadership oriented marriage is just my random longshot.
Yes it is pretty serious thairis.... and no, I did not see it coming.... life was boring, droning for us but at least it was normal. I didn't know what was going on beneath the surface. Well, I'm very gentle with him, I would do anything he asked me for.
The problem is that we only dated for 4 months after which I ran away from home to be with him (I'm indian and he's white). After I left home he seemed so much into me that I forgot about my friends (also because he was insecure, so to make him feel secure I gradually let them go, which was my mistake) and started going everywhere with him, and doing everything with him. But after being married we've had a couple of serious fights and during or right after those fights, each time he told me that he felt like he got pushed into this marriage, and he's not sure if he can handle it. I didn't give his words much importance because I thought those words came out of out of anger, but I guess I was wrong. After I left for my mom's house he even went away to N.Y. to see some friends, sightseeing, and to clear his mind (because he said he was suffocating at home) and I don't know who he talked to over there, and what kindda advice the people gave him, but after he got back from there, he was a changed man. He didn't call me once while there, or after coming back, and he doesn't want to hear me out or even talk about what went wrong. From my point of view, everything was ok, and even if there were issues that we needed to work out, we could talk about it and resolve them. What makes a Libra man run away from talking about commitment?
As much as I would love to drop this bastard, and move on, I can't because he's my husband, and I love him unconditionally.... so I was wondering, is there anyway I can get through to him? Or should I just give up hope?
The problem is that we only dated for 4 months after which I ran away from home to be with him (I'm indian and he's white). After I left home he seemed so much into me that I forgot about my friends (also because he was insecure, so to make him feel secure I gradually let them go, which was my mistake) and started going everywhere with him, and doing everything with him. But after being married we've had a couple of serious fights and during or right after those fights, each time he told me that he felt like he got pushed into this marriage, and he's not sure if he can handle it. I didn't give his words much importance because I thought those words came out of out of anger, but I guess I was wrong. After I left for my mom's house he even went away to N.Y. to see some friends, sightseeing, and to clear his mind (because he said he was suffocating at home) and I don't know who he talked to over there, and what kindda advice the people gave him, but after he got back from there, he was a changed man. He didn't call me once while there, or after coming back, and he doesn't want to hear me out or even talk about what went wrong. From my point of view, everything was ok, and even if there were issues that we needed to work out, we could talk about it and resolve them. What makes a Libra man run away from talking about commitment?
As much as I would love to drop this bastard, and move on, I can't because he's my husband, and I love him unconditionally.... so I was wondering, is there anyway I can get through to him? Or should I just give up hope?
dear makeupfan this is terrible the way has left you feeling you deserve the right to know what is going on, your his wife you have the right to know. my first thought is his age is this a male menopause sorry i cant think of a better word, is he pure libran i'm 1st october right in the middle of the sign, has he always treated you like this ?. if it were me this would have taken a long time for it to come to this it would have to do with the way i was treated then i would tell you, if it was something i had done then i would tell you and except the consequences of my actions he should listen to you your side of the argument he's stubborn i am stubborn but its because of love. telling you to move out noway accept that go back fight your corner, was it a bad row ! a series of on going rows about the same problem ? when met my wife other men were attracted to her but she reassured me she only wanted me. i can tell you only want him i wish i could speak to him give a piece of my mind "english expression" but you would need to tell me more about the rows which personal between you both, i feel i have not helped you. your such a doting wife to him he doesn't deserve you are far to good for him there's thousands of men out there who would think world of you. there's plenty more fish in the sea as they say but i now do do not want to go fishing just yet, get your self respect back make him regret what he has done to you. all the best wishes paul.
Hey Paul, I tried Private Messaging you, but the message didn't go through....
Well they don't start off as arguments, but as I know, Libra's are VERY stubborn, and so are Gemini's.... hence it starts off with him wanting to do one thing, and me the exact opposite.... and then it goes on to becoming an argument because he wants it his way, and I want it my way.... So it's more about control, not arguing. Although we argue a lot, I let him have it his way most of the time, unless it has to do with me, like if he says I 'MUST' wear bathing suit just because we're going to sit by the pool, and I say if I'm not going swimming then why bother.... and that erupts into an argument, lol. Really stupid now that I think about it, but I can't give into his wishes every time something like that happens, then I feel like I have no free will.
You say that you let it get to a point where you get fed up with everything, and then walk away (did you try talking to the person, and let them know or just gave up and walked away?) I gave into most of his wishes and needs just so we wouldn't argue or let the situation blow out of proportion. The worst thing out of it all is that, I kept my mouth shut as much as I could, but I sometimes felt like I had to stand my ground. Now to see this outcome, I feel like I've wasted my time, energy, and my love on nothing.
You say that you let it get to a point where you get fed up with everything, and then walk away (did you try talking to the person, and let them know or just gave up and walked away?) I gave into most of his wishes and needs just so we wouldn't argue or let the situation blow out of proportion. The worst thing out of it all is that, I kept my mouth shut as much as I could, but I sometimes felt like I had to stand my ground. Now to see this outcome, I feel like I've wasted my time, energy, and my love on nothing.
I'm a libra woman, and have gone through a similar process as you both do now. I'm sorry to say that in advance, but for me your case seem to have an end now. 
Here's my story, where I behaved just like your Libra man:
For years things didn't go good with my husband, and in the end I asked him to go home to his parents for 1 or 2 weeks, and we both should think about our relationship. Telling the truth right at that moment I knew subconsciously, what I wanted: to finish our marriage, but I needed reassurance by spending some time apart from him. I never let him back to live with me and finally we divorced.
You wrote your life was boring, and he felt suffocating. I had the same problem at that time. I tryed to shake up things, but it didn't work and in the end I gave up.
I guess after you leaving to your mum's house, he went to N.Y. to feel the freedom of meeting his friends, being in an other city, what would kill his feelings of suffocation. He didn't change because he'd met someone there, or because others' advice. He just felt free.
Here's my story, where I behaved just like your Libra man:
For years things didn't go good with my husband, and in the end I asked him to go home to his parents for 1 or 2 weeks, and we both should think about our relationship. Telling the truth right at that moment I knew subconsciously, what I wanted: to finish our marriage, but I needed reassurance by spending some time apart from him. I never let him back to live with me and finally we divorced.
You wrote your life was boring, and he felt suffocating. I had the same problem at that time. I tryed to shake up things, but it didn't work and in the end I gave up.
I guess after you leaving to your mum's house, he went to N.Y. to feel the freedom of meeting his friends, being in an other city, what would kill his feelings of suffocation. He didn't change because he'd met someone there, or because others' advice. He just felt free.
The way he has treated you sounds as if he has made up his mind and wants out of the marriage and the reason why he wont respond to your wishes of talking is because he doesnt want to confront the problems with you. It's messy and he just wants to go on and not have to deal with the guilt of how he is treating you.
You say your life together was boring and he felt suffocated, on top of all that you constantly fought over little things. This I believe is why he has given up and wants to move on, Librans dont like confrontaion. I give in even when I'm wrong if the other person is persistant or at least I drop the subject or change it, especially if I can see it's not worth getting heated up about. If I was constantly fighting with someone I wouldn't want to be around them either!
Of course you want to try and work things out but from my own personal experience, once I had made up my mind I didnt want to talk about it. I said what I wanted to say but didnt want to discuss it, the fact is it was over and I had given in my mind enough reason.(I wouldn't even consider counselling because nothing would change my mind) You see this decision hasn't just appeared out of nowhere, I would think more months of thought.
When my husband did corner me into talking, I would sit there for the hour(it felt like it) and unemotionally answer only with definite confirmations of there's no going back for me. Even through his tears (which would normally upset me if anyone is crying) I showed NO emotion! It was a defence mechanism for me.
The only thing I would suggest is give him some time but dont sit around moping, go on with your life in the meantime. Then when he is ready he may give you some of the answers you need, Yes it's unfair of him but he's only looking out for himself which everyone does. I dont think anything you say is going to "Get through to him" the balls in his court...Sorry
You say your life together was boring and he felt suffocated, on top of all that you constantly fought over little things. This I believe is why he has given up and wants to move on, Librans dont like confrontaion. I give in even when I'm wrong if the other person is persistant or at least I drop the subject or change it, especially if I can see it's not worth getting heated up about. If I was constantly fighting with someone I wouldn't want to be around them either!
Of course you want to try and work things out but from my own personal experience, once I had made up my mind I didnt want to talk about it. I said what I wanted to say but didnt want to discuss it, the fact is it was over and I had given in my mind enough reason.(I wouldn't even consider counselling because nothing would change my mind) You see this decision hasn't just appeared out of nowhere, I would think more months of thought.
When my husband did corner me into talking, I would sit there for the hour(it felt like it) and unemotionally answer only with definite confirmations of there's no going back for me. Even through his tears (which would normally upset me if anyone is crying) I showed NO emotion! It was a defence mechanism for me.
The only thing I would suggest is give him some time but dont sit around moping, go on with your life in the meantime. Then when he is ready he may give you some of the answers you need, Yes it's unfair of him but he's only looking out for himself which everyone does. I dont think anything you say is going to "Get through to him" the balls in his court...Sorry
i think the key problem here is your notion of marriage. maybe you should see a counselor and talk this out.
1) marriage is not about doing everything for someone lese
2) you sound like yoy lost all your own identity being with this man
and as a result of that...you became nothing..you became boring. why? because you were not being you...you were obeying..trying to be a good wife or whatever....but most importanly you were not being an individual...at all. and who wants to be married to a shadow of a person for the rest of their life? to have a boring life of walk up...go to work...come home...repeat.
dating for 4 months was the problem. you thowing your whole life away for this man was the problem.
and now...now your problem is you have NOTHING when he walks away...because you forgot about you the whole time. what life do you have without him> none...and so you will desparately cling in a ope he will return.
he is not returning. never. get a lawyer. and next time....after you find you again...try not to lose you in a relationship.
1) marriage is not about doing everything for someone lese
2) you sound like yoy lost all your own identity being with this man
and as a result of that...you became nothing..you became boring. why? because you were not being you...you were obeying..trying to be a good wife or whatever....but most importanly you were not being an individual...at all. and who wants to be married to a shadow of a person for the rest of their life? to have a boring life of walk up...go to work...come home...repeat.
dating for 4 months was the problem. you thowing your whole life away for this man was the problem.
and now...now your problem is you have NOTHING when he walks away...because you forgot about you the whole time. what life do you have without him> none...and so you will desparately cling in a ope he will return.
he is not returning. never. get a lawyer. and next time....after you find you again...try not to lose you in a relationship.
i think the key problem here is your notion of marriage. maybe you should see a counselor and talk this out.
1) marriage is not about doing everything for someone lese
2) you sound like yoy lost all your own identity being with this man
and as a result of that...you became nothing..you became boring. why? because you were not being you...you were obeying..trying to be a good wife or whatever....but most importanly you were not being an individual...at all. and who wants to be married to a shadow of a person for the rest of their life? to have a boring life of walk up...go to work...come home...repeat.
dating for 4 months was the problem. you thowing your whole life away for this man was the problem.
and now...now your problem is you have NOTHING when he walks away...because you forgot about you the whole time. what life do you have without him> none...and so you will desparately cling in a ope he will return.
he is not returning. never. get a lawyer. and next time....after you find you again...try not to lose you in a relationship.
1) marriage is not about doing everything for someone lese
2) you sound like yoy lost all your own identity being with this man
and as a result of that...you became nothing..you became boring. why? because you were not being you...you were obeying..trying to be a good wife or whatever....but most importanly you were not being an individual...at all. and who wants to be married to a shadow of a person for the rest of their life? to have a boring life of walk up...go to work...come home...repeat.
dating for 4 months was the problem. you thowing your whole life away for this man was the problem.
and now...now your problem is you have NOTHING when he walks away...because you forgot about you the whole time. what life do you have without him> none...and so you will desparately cling in a ope he will return.
he is not returning. never. get a lawyer. and next time....after you find you again...try not to lose you in a relationship.
Wow Librany I'm so sorry to hear that you had to go through this. I know this is tough on him too (as you say it was tough on you) but I just feel like that he didn't do the right thing by securing his feelings first and then tell me to move out, that was a one sided decision. I'm a Gemini, I can change in a snap so I feel like we could work this out, but knowing a Libra they don't like to discuss matters, they just make up their mind and then walk away, is what I see.
sweethearts the way you described your feelings when you were going through your mess is exactly how my husband's acting right now. As much as I'd like cling onto hope, I've been trying my best to move on, and so far it hasn't been bad, but the progression isn't that fast either. Well I know it will end, but I feel like as a woman I should do my best to salvage my marriage. I know he won't come back because I talk to him, I know my words won't affect him, but at least when I look back in the past I'll be able to tell myself that I tried my best. I feel like my husband isn't trying his best, he's just being selfish (but most Libra's usually are, no offense).
leokitten2 reading what you wrote made me realize as to why it hurts more than I would've been hurt. I'd like to believe that I'm a strong woman, and that I can forget him, move on, and find a better person in life (wayyyy later in life). I've been hurting more is because of the fact that I became his shadow, and lost myself in this marriage.... You're right, I made HIM my whole life, so I have nothing left now that he's left, so now I try to hope that he'll return, which I know he won't. Well I've started to re-discover myself, and I hope to do so until I know I'm ready to be in a relationship again.... until then I will do what it takes to become myself again.
All of your opinions have helped me so much, I really appreciate it. If there's more insight to my situation, I'll be happy to read them.
sweethearts the way you described your feelings when you were going through your mess is exactly how my husband's acting right now. As much as I'd like cling onto hope, I've been trying my best to move on, and so far it hasn't been bad, but the progression isn't that fast either. Well I know it will end, but I feel like as a woman I should do my best to salvage my marriage. I know he won't come back because I talk to him, I know my words won't affect him, but at least when I look back in the past I'll be able to tell myself that I tried my best. I feel like my husband isn't trying his best, he's just being selfish (but most Libra's usually are, no offense).
leokitten2 reading what you wrote made me realize as to why it hurts more than I would've been hurt. I'd like to believe that I'm a strong woman, and that I can forget him, move on, and find a better person in life (wayyyy later in life). I've been hurting more is because of the fact that I became his shadow, and lost myself in this marriage.... You're right, I made HIM my whole life, so I have nothing left now that he's left, so now I try to hope that he'll return, which I know he won't. Well I've started to re-discover myself, and I hope to do so until I know I'm ready to be in a relationship again.... until then I will do what it takes to become myself again.
All of your opinions have helped me so much, I really appreciate it. If there's more insight to my situation, I'll be happy to read them.
well truthfully, part of your rediscovery should be a stop at a lawyer...the person who files first wins more. get your half of the hosue etc....
how long have you been married> that factors into alimony.
you think that is cold? well stop it. what is cold is a man walking out on a marriage without trying. he could give two shits about you. so you better start watching out for yourself.
and seriously, schedule some counseling. that and a week away somewhere quiet. preferably with no tv. by yourelf. all alone. get in touch with you.
oh and stop talking to him. seriously. try it for a week. you will see. do not call, email or text and do not answer any of the same. for 7 days. see how you feel.
how long have you been married> that factors into alimony.
you think that is cold? well stop it. what is cold is a man walking out on a marriage without trying. he could give two shits about you. so you better start watching out for yourself.
and seriously, schedule some counseling. that and a week away somewhere quiet. preferably with no tv. by yourelf. all alone. get in touch with you.
oh and stop talking to him. seriously. try it for a week. you will see. do not call, email or text and do not answer any of the same. for 7 days. see how you feel.
one last thing. get yourself tested. this has all the hallmarks of a man who has cheated, being quite frank.
Posted by leokitten2
well truthfully, part of your rediscovery should be a stop at a lawyer...the person who files first wins more. get your half of the hosue etc....
how long have you been married> that factors into alimony.
you think that is cold? well stop it. what is cold is a man walking out on a marriage without trying. he could give two shits about you. so you better start watching out for yourself.
and seriously, schedule some counseling. that and a week away somewhere quiet. preferably with no tv. by yourelf. all alone. get in touch with you.
oh and stop talking to him. seriously. try it for a week. you will see. do not call, email or text and do not answer any of the same. for 7 days. see how you feel.
Well, I don't want his money, car, house, whatever he has. A lot of people have been telling me that I'm being stupid for not getting half of what he has, but to me money doesn't matter, it comes and goes out of life. So I don't care about winning anything.... I want to start fresh, with no memories of him attached to my life.
Yes, I am definitely planning on going on a road trip with some girlfriends (because I need to reconnect with my friends, who I let go because of that jerk), and if that doesn't work out, then I might do it myself.
I don't talk to him, or text him or anything, unless it's necessary. I have good self control when it comes to making snap decisions (it took a lot of practice, since I'm a Gemini and all, lol). So I don't give into my emotions, I think before I act. And now, after talking to all of you, I don't even wanna deal with him. The only way I can act with him is to be as cold, or colder than he has been acting with me. I've been wayyyyyyyyyy too nice to him, and I think this is where it needs to stop.
Posted by 22Diddy02
(did you try talking to the person, and let them know or just gave up and walked away?)
really.. my ex gemini is a party freak she care less of what going on with her life LOL.. when i told her it's over cause i'm tired of all the bullcrap we put each other thru.. i admit she got more game than me so she run the relationship (Dayme Gemini) witty LOL spoil her rotten.. after 4 months of NOT talkin to each other she decide to call me up again but i'm dating an arie right now.. i talk to her as friend but after awhile i notice she start flirting with me like she used to when we first dated and textin me some message like this -_- (How was work baby) (i miss you babe) (you miss me) (Talkin about our past together) that the past I'm OVER IT..Nope can't do it i cut her off after posting my problem on DXP.
Oh dude, then you had an immature Gemini for and ex, lol. As much as I hate to bash my own Zodiac sign, Gemini's can fickle and be mature too, and understanding. One of the the best traits of a mature Gemini is that they love to listen, and talk about things, but your ex sounds like the perfect example of someone who doesn't know what type of guy she wants, it sounds like she's still testing the waters, and she was chatting you up either, because she was bored, she didn't know whether she REALLY wanted you or not, or because she had competition (with the Aries girl). Don't judge every Gemini for their fickleness, not every Gemini is like that, lol. Sorry you had such bad experience.
dont be stupid. you are his wife. what was the point of marriage? why get married if not for the legalityof it...otherwise you can date forever.
get your half of the house. period.
do not be a dumbass. that has been what you have been thru the whole marriage...a dumbass doormat that he takes advantage of left and right.
so guess what you are doing...making divorce easy for him too. get some friggin backbone already.
get your half of the house. period.
do not be a dumbass. that has been what you have been thru the whole marriage...a dumbass doormat that he takes advantage of left and right.
so guess what you are doing...making divorce easy for him too. get some friggin backbone already.
Posted by leokitten2
dont be stupid. you are his wife. what was the point of marriage? why get married if not for the legalityof it...otherwise you can date forever.
get your half of the house. period.
do not be a dumbass. that has been what you have been thru the whole marriage...a dumbass doormat that he takes advantage of left and right.
so guess what you are doing...making divorce easy for him too. get some friggin backbone already.
Umm I would keep the house if we HAD a house dude. We moved in with his mom and his step dad could rent got too expensive. He makes just enough money to support 2 people so no savings, and the car that I thought was his all along, is under his mom's name. I don't care what I'm making easy or hard for him, all I know is that I want him out of my mind and my life, and I'm gonna work on that, not go after money. I'm sure everyone has a different point of view when it comes to marriage, and his definitions was TOTALLY different from mine, lol. I got married to him thinking that he'll be there for me forever, through thick and thin, and work out problems when needed, and a lot of love, none of which he could fulfill. All I know is that I need to be moving on, and take care of myself, on my own, I don't need a person to do that for me. I don't want to cause him any pain, I'm not spiteful, he's like that, but I'm better then that.
You are angry right now but not angry enough, to heal a broken heart you need to go through 4 emotions:
Anger, Sadness, Fear & Sorrow. This will take time but processing these emotions will help you to move on and be open to find love again.
I also would make him face up to what he has done by claiming what you are intitled to, even if it is purely to teach him a lesson. The choice is yours though.
Good luck
Anger, Sadness, Fear & Sorrow. This will take time but processing these emotions will help you to move on and be open to find love again.
I also would make him face up to what he has done by claiming what you are intitled to, even if it is purely to teach him a lesson. The choice is yours though.
Good luck
Well I'm a Gemini, so it's in our sun sign to be be dramatic, and when he first met me, I gave him myself as I was and he used to love that. Once we got married though, he kept telling me to change my tone with him, and be more calm, so I became as calm as I could.... and I think that's where I started changing myself for that jerk, which was the worst mistake of my life! Well anyway, I have learned my lesson, and I know NEVER to settle for anything less than what I want in life.
Makeupfan.... You can say you want nothing now, but are you going to be a burden upon your parents? Can you support yourself.. You need to step back.... Going on a road trip with girlfriends is an escape adventure. You need to get a Lawyer and you need to do it rite away.
Don't stick your head in the sand I am sure your Libra has his mind made up and is playing you for the fool you are.
If you get mad at me so be it... You need to think... he is not coming back and a road trip is silly. This is your life and your future. He owes you something for your time. Now if you are wealthy that makes things so different. If your daddy can support why does he need to? Get a grip and get it right now.
Don't stick your head in the sand I am sure your Libra has his mind made up and is playing you for the fool you are.
If you get mad at me so be it... You need to think... he is not coming back and a road trip is silly. This is your life and your future. He owes you something for your time. Now if you are wealthy that makes things so different. If your daddy can support why does he need to? Get a grip and get it right now.
He doesn't own anything but a car she said and he even has that in his parents name!! They were living at his parents place. Plus trying to get blood out of a stone would be a waste of time, solicitors for separation cost over $ 200.00 an hour in my country and they would end up with it all!
it really all depends on how long they have been married. if they have not been married long enough, she cnnot get alimony.
however, you can get half of whatever possessions there are. tvs etc. if you do not want them, get them and sell them.
get a mediator, it is a cheaper option and the divorce will be done in 10 weeks or so.
however, you can get half of whatever possessions there are. tvs etc. if you do not want them, get them and sell them.
get a mediator, it is a cheaper option and the divorce will be done in 10 weeks or so.
WOW that's quick, 2 years in NZ & 1 in Australia. And to legally end it you have to have a solicitor involved and they try and drag it out as long as possible so they can get as much as they can!
in the us...if no kids..you can get done in under 6 months...especially if there are no assets. here...no assets...no kids...all they need is some quick paperwork. a mediator here is a lawyer...but they pay for one person, split equally..a lot cheaper for a divorce. cannot do if there are asset and custody issues.
Well there you have it...we had too much money and kids! lol
ARE YOU SUBMISSIVE? Lol, seriously. It sounded like you married an a**h***. People don't change overnight. Its like he's just decided you were an old pair of shoes he wanted to throw out. He's done this to you and you still love him. I would have pulled a serious "waiting to exhale" out on him! He just told you to move on? Did he even love you because thats some messed up s*** right there. If you were my friend he would have had his ungreatful little butt handed to him...on a silver platter. I think he was cheating on you. YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING HE ASKED YOU TO DO? you ran away from home, you ditched your friends because he is insecure? You need to be dominant. White men are used to having women throw themselves at them. You all might say I am racist but I am not, I am mixed with white myself and I see how they act (most not all let me make that clear). He knew you ran away from home, he knows from a cultural standpoint the position you put yourself in because you LOVE him. AND THIS IS HOW HE TREATS YOUR UNCONDITIONAL LOVE? You lost who you were by letting him have that much power of you, THAT ISN'T LOVE THATS CONTROL. Understand the difference. Men (western) don't want a woman who will give up everything, HER very self just to be with him. They will not respect you. He cut you off from everyone KNOWING you would go along with it. If I were in your shoes I would spit in his face and then slap it. He has dishonored and disgraced you...DON'T EVER TOLERATE THAT FROM ANY ONE.
makeup, this situation sounds all too familiar. I'm sorry this has happened to you. You must feel like you are in hell.
Now this is my take on it. It sounds to me like, as leokitten2 says, "this has all the hallmarks of a man who has cheated". This explains the sudden cut off (His heart has gone to another. That's why he won't discuss it because he's made up his mind), the way it took you by surprise (He has hidden the deceit away from you), the way you have been constantly arguing (He's trying to make you hate him, start arguments, make you be the one to blame), the little or no contact you've had from him (Because he has someone else to focus on. You can't go from being married and living with someone to NOTHING, without someone else being invloved).
Now Librany may be right, and it could just be the boring, suffocating syndrome, but if he loved you, then he would at least discuss his issues with you and try and work things out.
So you gave your all to a man. There's nothing you can do about that now. Just try to learn from that and move on. At least you know you gave absolutely everything you could in that relationship and you can't question that - that will make you heal quicker, that fact that you couldn't have done or given anymore.
It's hard, but you will move on. It takes time, which is a pain, but it does. You have only lost somebody that never truly cared for you, and who doesn't give a butter that you're going through so much hurt. He on the other hand, has lost someone who would have given him the world. You will see, in time, that you are so much better off without him.
Now this is my take on it. It sounds to me like, as leokitten2 says, "this has all the hallmarks of a man who has cheated". This explains the sudden cut off (His heart has gone to another. That's why he won't discuss it because he's made up his mind), the way it took you by surprise (He has hidden the deceit away from you), the way you have been constantly arguing (He's trying to make you hate him, start arguments, make you be the one to blame), the little or no contact you've had from him (Because he has someone else to focus on. You can't go from being married and living with someone to NOTHING, without someone else being invloved).
Now Librany may be right, and it could just be the boring, suffocating syndrome, but if he loved you, then he would at least discuss his issues with you and try and work things out.
So you gave your all to a man. There's nothing you can do about that now. Just try to learn from that and move on. At least you know you gave absolutely everything you could in that relationship and you can't question that - that will make you heal quicker, that fact that you couldn't have done or given anymore.
It's hard, but you will move on. It takes time, which is a pain, but it does. You have only lost somebody that never truly cared for you, and who doesn't give a butter that you're going through so much hurt. He on the other hand, has lost someone who would have given him the world. You will see, in time, that you are so much better off without him.
Thank you guys for the insight. Getting through this has been easier for me since I've been talking about my pain, and sharing them with people. I appreciate each and everyone of your opinions, because I realize new things from them. The more I read how much of a stupid person I was to love him so crazily and for him to be such a bastard and walk about the easier it becomes for me to let go of him. Now I'm looking for a good Divorce Lawyer, and since I won't be getting anything out of this marriage financially, the least he can do is pay for my legal fees, because I can't afford it.
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