Libra's and cutting people off

This topic was created in the Libra forum by sweethearts on Friday, October 29, 2010 and has 21 replies.
This year I have had ZERO tolerance with people and I have cut a few people off for reasons I think are important. The people I have been to bat for that havnt stepped up when I really needed them...not just that, but they never made any apologies or acknowkledgment of what was going on. So after lengthy thoughts about each situation I just ended all communication.
Even though I have no regrets there ^^^^^ as these were family members...I have noticed it's hardened me, thickened my skin to people/friends in general and I am mirroring people more and more. I guess it's just a defence as I've realised alot of people are takers but not givers and I need the balance for it to be worthy.
Am I being unrealistic? It's not that I want everything to be evenly give and take...well that would be my perfect world... but I go out of my way to help my friends/family out and would like to know that when I need them they are there for me too.
I know there are other Libras going through this sort of thing here, so how have you evaluated your situations? Is it working with you or do you feel a little like me and unbalanced?
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That's exactly how I'm feeling KL...how do I shift myself from this?? I cant change other people so how does one re-balance in this situation.
I'm not the depressed type and if I start sliding that way I lift myself quickly but I am sadder than my normal self.
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Ws..that is the attitude that I have also adopted but no it doesnt work with me...that's what makes me feel sad as a person!
Finding a partner is a great idea...I am now ready for that but not an easy task!
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Posted by wsigaf
I'm a changed libra.. I now go by 2 rules:
1) give less and take more
2) don't expect much from others,
especially when you really need their support
it seems to work so far..



This is how I try to be be but it really makes me unhappy Sad
It's so true though I drop everything for the people I care about yet they can not seem to return the favour. I know that I will continue to be there for them if I keep them around so have no choice but to cut them off. All I seem to do is give to others, but I have decided that since my birthday, this year is going to be all about me smile
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I've been dropped, but not this year. Winking
She did give me a chance, though.
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I've cut of one Aqua "friend" who was manipulative and a mind messer, cut off the Aries betraying bitch. Two major ones. I still have a pisces and an aqua who are hanging on my fb and am thinking of whether to delete them. I have considered our friendship to be over after they've trespassed what I call basic friendship values.
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I tend to give up too much ground in order to "keep the peace." This seems to put me at a disadvantage in both friendships and love. I had one girl recently say I was like a "little brother." It definitely didnt start that way but listening to her problems when she was having a bad day....sigh. I always struggle with when to cut off love interests especially. Personally I agree that the going cold is when we just have nothing else to give. Maybe its just me but when ive given and given and then back off for a couple days, if someone cant understand that, well that puts them a major step closer to the cut off phase.
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This year I've cut off 2 cancers, 2 Leos completely and an Aries & Pisces temporarily til I get me head around it....
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Posted by KingofLibras
We are givers.. and it turns us into cynics as people keep using us, abusing our friendship and our love, friendzoning us just to have a shoulder to cry on. It takes a toll on you eventually, and you start to change, become an asshole and rude and abrasive at times, sometimes your thought patterns change as well making you a very cold person, but as a balance this makes you sad and the sadness resonates into the depths of your soul


Absolute truth. It does take a toll on you to be THAT person after awhile. When ya reach a boiling point, something's gotta give.
I know exactly what "cold, rude, and abrasive" persona that you're speaking of. Even though this is the easiest defense strategy, it makes you feel like piss-shit. There's only so long you can keep this attitude. I've tried it. It's fun for a bit, but doesn't work for the long haul.
If you've got a naturally giving nature, people will be compelled to take advantage. Fact. It's sad to admit that not all, but a huge percentage of this world is a bunch of selfish dick bags. It's my nature to be caring and honest with those around me. This can lead to my frustration and disappointment.
It's funny. Being a Libra, you'd expect a little more balance... but there seems to be a lot more giving and little to no taking if you don't learn to put your foot down. Don't make this a negative thing. It's important to strengthen from experience. A little strengthening of the backbone never hurt anyone. It's good to be able to cut out of your life, those who only know how to leech.
Really though. It's good to be a little cold and hardened as it will surely come in handy. Nothing wrong with being able to take charge. However, use this mindset to better appreciate those who actually have genuine worth. There's a lot of good souls to meet, just takes a lot of patience. Don't let it get the best of you. It's hard work, so don't be surprised at toughening up a bit in the process. Don't stress too much. Just learn from the past and try and have some fun.

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Cutting off my nose despite my face...Yes I can relate to that... feels like I would rather do that than go through more hurt which is evident in most cases!
But I cant change the generous loving person/friend that I am, which is why I've resulted to cutting these people out...Ignorance is Bliss! This solves the Doormat issue and helping people out even though they dont deserve it because if they were still in my day to day life that's what I would be doing. And I know that I would get burnt again and again.
Awww Mr Nice...you are a real life Hero smile
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Thanks TOC, that info is helpful as I dont understand heaps about astrology but slowly through you guys I'm learning more and more!
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i haven't cut out anyone recently, but i pruned several out a while back. just disappeared. stopped going the places i used to, stopped logging on to myspace. haven't friended any of them on facebook. haven't emailed. didn't hear from them, then got a new number.
basically, it felt like i was calling people friends who weren't really friends. i was willing to be there for them, but it wasn't mutual. so i walked away.
dropped em. moved on. done.
no biggie.
been kinda lonely since, since it can be hard to meet new people as an adult. but it's better to be lonely and alone than lonely surrounded by fake friends.
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Posted by spica
I've cut of one Aqua "friend" who was manipulative and a mind messer, cut off the Aries betraying bitch. Two major ones. I still have a pisces and an aqua who are hanging on my fb and am thinking of whether to delete them. I have considered our friendship to be over after they've trespassed what I call basic friendship values.

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I'm courious....I would like to know if I'm interpreting you correctly, when you use the term "trespass". I think that the libra and leo have alot of the same traits (quality people, too sensitive at times and hide the truth very well) and we put so many expectation on others that the slightest imperfection or crap causes us to dismiss QUICKLY. What's sad is that we are both so deep but our behavior sometimes is so superficial.
What do you mean by the term "trespassed".

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Posted by TheVenusSun
I'm courious....I would like to know if I'm interpreting you correctly, when you use the term "trespass". I think that the libra and leo have alot of the same traits (quality people, too sensitive at times and hide the truth very well) and we put so many expectation on others that the slightest imperfection or crap causes us to dismiss QUICKLY. What's sad is that we are both so deep but our behavior sometimes is so superficial.
What do you mean by the term "trespassed".




Are you a Leo or Lib?
Trespass means to go across certain rules/ boundaries that are almost illegal. Just like how when someone trespasses properties they can get tried.
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Oh yeah, and I loooooooove my Leo friend the mostest. She's da best and I agree with you we display superficiality but are very deep thinkers.
I like how my Leo girlfriend shoots her mouth off then when she realises her mistake, she reverses her speech, it's funny! And Leo optimism is higher than Libra's, although there is cynicism lurking beneath.
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Maybe it is the Libra in Saturn thing but I am finding out how "close" friends really perceive me and the stories they are telling themselves about me. I am just sitting here going "what? what are you even talking about?" I am not really angry about it, just disappointed that people have thought things that were untrue about me, sometimes for years, instead of clearing things up. Regardless, the line up of people leaving my life because I just can't take the drama they have created around me and about me grows longer. Oddly, I am still feeling happy and content.
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When I have to cut people off, I actually gain something positive is life. Because usually I take something from myself to give to others. But once they are gone, I can give more to myself and it's very rewarding. Don't look at it as something lost but something gained.
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Posted by spica
Posted by TheVenusSun
I'm courious....I would like to know if I'm interpreting you correctly, when you use the term "trespass". I think that the libra and leo have alot of the same traits (quality people, too sensitive at times and hide the truth very well) and we put so many expectation on others that the slightest imperfection or crap causes us to dismiss QUICKLY. What's sad is that we are both so deep but our behavior sometimes is so superficial.
What do you mean by the term "trespassed".




Are you a Leo or Lib?
Trespass means to go across certain rules/ boundaries that are almost illegal. Just like how when someone trespasses properties they can get tried.
click to expand


I thought I was interpreting you correctly. I know libra's are deep thinkers as are us leos. I just wanted to make sure. But, I'm a leo who doesn't like spectacles or public DRAMA at all. I know it's rare....lol. Although, it could creep up if I have to defend those that are close to me, simply out of honor and respect if they are blantantly being disrespected or mistreated. If the BS is directed at me I just tend to recognize the trespass and give the person a "Do Not Get Out of Jail" card. Seriously though I can't stand public BS, unfairness or disrespect (Argh). It may be because I have libra in my chart (Dunno).
I am a newcomer here, and I have been very intrigued with the Libra forum. I will soon have a topic that I will post so I want all the Libras to elaborate. I've enjoyed many of you guys thoughts and a I have a few (FAV's) already. I'll give shout outs later (LOL). But, seriously I want to share a DOOSEY...Peace for now.
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I was actually starting to feel maybe it was ME, I was starting to get to critical and impatient of others as there have been a few this year...
however thinking of the ones I have cut out it is without regret...so maybe not~!
My life is still full and I am still happy smile

I did say a few years ago (as I have attended a few funerals in the last 5 years and seen people's hypocricy) that I would have a list of people that wouldn't be able to attend mine...that list has grown from 1 or 2 to about 6 now!!!!
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Posted by sweethearts
This year I have had ZERO tolerance with people and I have cut a few people off for reasons I think are important. The people I have been to bat for that havnt stepped up when I really needed them...not just that, but they never made any apologies or acknowkledgment of what was going on. So after lengthy thoughts about each situation I just ended all communication.
Even though I have no regrets there ^^^^^ as these were family members...I have noticed it's hardened me, thickened my skin to people/friends in general and I am mirroring people more and more. I guess it's just a defence as I've realised alot of people are takers but not givers and I need the balance for it to be worthy.
Am I being unrealistic? It's not that I want everything to be evenly give and take...well that would be my perfect world... but I go out of my way to help my friends/family out and would like to know that when I need them they are there for me too.


That's not ZERO tolerance. That's recognizing when you have been used or, at a bare minimum, been in a lopsided friendship/relationship. I have had to cut out people this year too. I finally reached a point this week with an ex that is further off the "going cold charts" than I think I have ever been.
When people who were once really close cross that line and you cut them out, it is hard. I know just what you mean here, I have noticed myself hardening to everyone too. I don't like it but I can't help it right now. And I do not think it's unrealistic or unreasonable to expect friends to be there when you need them.

Posted by sweethearts

I know there are other Libras going through this sort of thing here, so how have you evaluated your situations? Is it working with you or do you feel a little like me and unbalanced?
click to expand


This is just a time of change. I have been re-evaluating everything for months and months now. Making new plans. Testing some of the things I believe in. Letting go of how things should be and trying to just see how they are. I don't know if it's the return of saturn thing that's was mentioned, I just know I am a different person than I was at the beginning of this year and I know the changes aren't over yet.
I like to think things will work out. I have thought this stuff through... a LOT. I have ma
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