Long-Distance with a Libra
This topic was created in the Libra forum by oneluv77 on Tuesday, December 12, 2006 and has 48 replies.
What is the best way to go about a long distance rel;ationship with a Libra?
What do I do?
What should I not do?
How do I entice him to visit while still being nonchalant and aloof?
What kinds of things will make him think about me more>?
What do I do?
What should I not do?
How do I entice him to visit while still being nonchalant and aloof?
What kinds of things will make him think about me more>?
So the guy from the album release party said he wants a relationship or are you jumping ahead?
I would start by finding someone real in your area instead of pursuing a fantasy relationship.
No judgement, girls...
Just keep the communication going, and let him do the leg work. He wants to do the leg work anyway. Let him make suggestions, etc. But always respond, but do not be sticky. But let him come to you...
Just keep the communication going, and let him do the leg work. He wants to do the leg work anyway. Let him make suggestions, etc. But always respond, but do not be sticky. But let him come to you...
I'm not judging - just trying to figure out if this is the same guy whom she met once at an album release party or if it's a new distant guy. Just seems really early to be in relationship with the guy whom she's only met once.
ok, yeah...that's a tad bid of judgement, but it's not harsh.
"Just seems really early to be in relationship with the guy whom she's only met once."
Let Oneluv dream. What's better than fancying a handsome man!?
Let Oneluv dream. What's better than fancying a handsome man!?
Finding one you can see everyday and share your life with?
I know. I know.
I worry!
(shrugs)
I know. I know.
I worry!
(shrugs)
thanks for the worrying, but I am - how do i say it - special. i know we all are, but I guess this is just me.
if i met this guy here in ATlanta - that would be great!!! i wouldn't want anything more, but I didn't.
i meet many, many men who annoyingly want to share my everyday with me. they're great i guess, but NOT FOR ME.
this is the first one in years that is (seemingly) on my level, and who I want to share my days with. i'm really picky - and why shouldn't i be??
i'm not just looking for a man - those are easy. i'm looking for 'the one'. all while we talk and get to know eachother, i want to make the most of out a LDR.
i believe that if its right (it is**) time, space etc. have no play in the matter.
**okay i know that sounds weird, but, we will see huh? it could be fun.
if i met this guy here in ATlanta - that would be great!!! i wouldn't want anything more, but I didn't.
i meet many, many men who annoyingly want to share my everyday with me. they're great i guess, but NOT FOR ME.
this is the first one in years that is (seemingly) on my level, and who I want to share my days with. i'm really picky - and why shouldn't i be??
i'm not just looking for a man - those are easy. i'm looking for 'the one'. all while we talk and get to know eachother, i want to make the most of out a LDR.
i believe that if its right (it is**) time, space etc. have no play in the matter.
**okay i know that sounds weird, but, we will see huh? it could be fun.
*** this is the first one in years that is (seemingly) on my level, and who I want to share my days with. i'm really picky - and why shouldn't i be??
I hear you!
It is hard to find someone at your level. I am a bit frustrated in this regard as well.
I hear you!
It is hard to find someone at your level. I am a bit frustrated in this regard as well.
Just know that you may never know him and what he is up too. It will all be what he says .... you have no way of knowing if he really gets up to give his seat to old ladies on the bus or if he just says it.
That being said, one of my best friends is about to marry her long distance boyfriend.
That being said, one of my best friends is about to marry her long distance boyfriend.
lol - then you, LS, tell me about your friend' experience.
Well .... my best friend had a VERY bad experience with a long distance libra but I won't tell you about that.
My other friend met a guy on an Affrican Saffari. They spoke everyday for hours via phone. She went to see him and stayed with him for a couple of months and now they are getting married. They have known each other just under a year. Maybe 9 month.
My other friend met a guy on an Affrican Saffari. They spoke everyday for hours via phone. She went to see him and stayed with him for a couple of months and now they are getting married. They have known each other just under a year. Maybe 9 month.
wow that is a quick marriage!!! Hope they know what they're doing!!
Well I have a long distance relationship with a Libra and till now things are going fine..I think dependes of what both want at the end of the day, We are getting married next year so is working if u really want.
Well I have a long distance relationship with a Libra and till now things are going fine..I think dependes of what both want at the end of the day, We are getting married next year so is working if u really want.
if u know how to play with a libran brain, distance doesnt matter.
so it seems....you LIbrans love the mental games - tis hard for us others LOL
Well I think this keep his interest in a relationship, like this u keep his mind busy ..
))
))Garfieldro...
how do i polay these games you say?
how do i keep him interested?
gimme examples.
how do i polay these games you say?
how do i keep him interested?
gimme examples.
I can't imagine being in a long distance relationship. I want to see the person and share everyday life with them. Long distance? Not for me.
oneluv77...
...long distance with a libra is very hard.. I would advise against it.
...long distance with a libra is very hard.. I would advise against it.
***how do i polay these games you say?***
I don't know if got this right, but what i do is ( as a gem, i am naturally playful) I play hide and seek, sometimes. I am different all the time too as I have different personalities depending on my mood which as I had been told is very interesting to a libra because, they want to solve the puzzle that is YOU. If you are predictable then you are easy and boring. If today you are a bit sweet to him/her and tomorrow play a little aloof. And just make his brain work, puzzle him but always be nice. Praise him and then contradict him. Give him some interesting info and fact and argue withg him sometimes, or should i say try to debate him about some topic and then he'll go on the other side of te boat, then contradict yourself and take his side hahahah
I don't know if got this right, but what i do is ( as a gem, i am naturally playful) I play hide and seek, sometimes. I am different all the time too as I have different personalities depending on my mood which as I had been told is very interesting to a libra because, they want to solve the puzzle that is YOU. If you are predictable then you are easy and boring. If today you are a bit sweet to him/her and tomorrow play a little aloof. And just make his brain work, puzzle him but always be nice. Praise him and then contradict him. Give him some interesting info and fact and argue withg him sometimes, or should i say try to debate him about some topic and then he'll go on the other side of te boat, then contradict yourself and take his side hahahah
get him where you want him by telling him he is what is opposite to what you want.
Like if you want him to be sweet today: Tell him he's not sweet and stuff..(but this is just an example) and he will prove to you that he is sweet! so you got him where you want him, and play another game next time....but as to where this games end? I do not know and If you are ever gonna get to where your going with him..but this keeps him there for the moment..
correct me if i am wrong you experts!
Like if you want him to be sweet today: Tell him he's not sweet and stuff..(but this is just an example) and he will prove to you that he is sweet! so you got him where you want him, and play another game next time....but as to where this games end? I do not know and If you are ever gonna get to where your going with him..but this keeps him there for the moment..
correct me if i am wrong you experts!
Get him wher eyou want him by telling him he is what is opposite to what you want?
No, I don't agree. Wouldn't that hurt his self-esteem? Almost to the point of him thinking that if he can't make her happy, then he'll find someone who's perfectly OK with him...
No, I don't agree. Wouldn't that hurt his self-esteem? Almost to the point of him thinking that if he can't make her happy, then he'll find someone who's perfectly OK with him...
hmmm...but maybe not to the extent of hurting him...some game not going to far maybe
okay i' ve been back on the board after a busy week or so. i have a new update on my long-distance libra.
i need some advice as how to proceed ESPECIALLY from you thelibran (muahh! we looove you!)
okay, so i live in atlanta, and he lives far away. we've been sedning messages back and forth for about 2 weeks now.
so he asked my if i wanted to be the one to bring his band here to atlanta (he's a musician remember - the cutest bass player yall ever seen!!)
okay, so i said, i would love to (would I.) but i have a conference in th midwest that week.
he immediaely responded ' "let's drive there".
but then he said that i should pick him up in his city and then drive him back. this is out of the way, people.
shouldn't he have known this.?? it seems so immature and cheap, really?
so, i need some insight on that.
so,,,moving along with the story, i didn't quite know how to respond to that since it sounds so cheap and careless, so i didn't respond for 1 day and a half. then, while i am a little drunk, i want to give him the message that i am thinking about him, yet i don't want to broach the travel topic. so i just text him "hmmmm."
no reply.
then 2 days after that, i sent him a compliment that someone have him that i let listen to his new album.
again, NO RESPONSE.
it's been 3 days since i left that message.
the thing is, my trip is coming up in a few weeks, and i really would love for him to come.
help!
i need some advice as how to proceed ESPECIALLY from you thelibran (muahh! we looove you!)
okay, so i live in atlanta, and he lives far away. we've been sedning messages back and forth for about 2 weeks now.
so he asked my if i wanted to be the one to bring his band here to atlanta (he's a musician remember - the cutest bass player yall ever seen!!)
okay, so i said, i would love to (would I.) but i have a conference in th midwest that week.
he immediaely responded ' "let's drive there".
but then he said that i should pick him up in his city and then drive him back. this is out of the way, people.
shouldn't he have known this.?? it seems so immature and cheap, really?
so, i need some insight on that.
so,,,moving along with the story, i didn't quite know how to respond to that since it sounds so cheap and careless, so i didn't respond for 1 day and a half. then, while i am a little drunk, i want to give him the message that i am thinking about him, yet i don't want to broach the travel topic. so i just text him "hmmmm."
no reply.
then 2 days after that, i sent him a compliment that someone have him that i let listen to his new album.
again, NO RESPONSE.
it's been 3 days since i left that message.
the thing is, my trip is coming up in a few weeks, and i really would love for him to come.
help!
There are wo things going on here, love and business...
As for love, I would pull back and see if he will go out of his way to see you.
Business - is for you to decide...
As for love, I would pull back and see if he will go out of his way to see you.
Business - is for you to decide...
Oneluv 77
Sounds a lot like something me and my libra went through about a month ago.. I had to travel on bus. and I asked him to come.. drive to my city and we would go together. I asked 2 times, and told him to let me know.. as the time approached he started calling more, I was wondering if he would say something.. but he did not.. so I did not. I actually went and did not call him or anything.. when I got back I did not mention it.. later I did, because this is one of our issues.. long-distance stuff must be completely talked about. So both parties get a good understanding of what the other wants and how it will be expedited. Clear directions. Otherwise you all will keep going around and around in circles and you will still not get to see him...
Sounds a lot like something me and my libra went through about a month ago.. I had to travel on bus. and I asked him to come.. drive to my city and we would go together. I asked 2 times, and told him to let me know.. as the time approached he started calling more, I was wondering if he would say something.. but he did not.. so I did not. I actually went and did not call him or anything.. when I got back I did not mention it.. later I did, because this is one of our issues.. long-distance stuff must be completely talked about. So both parties get a good understanding of what the other wants and how it will be expedited. Clear directions. Otherwise you all will keep going around and around in circles and you will still not get to see him...
aquabrat (i love you name btw) - what's you're advice on what i should do?
aquabrat (i love you name btw) - what's you're advice on what i should do?
i mean, should i call? wait for him to call me?
Well it sounds to me like you have the right mindset to make it work. Long distance with a Libra is tricky but very possible and very rewarding. I lived in another state for a year when I was with my scorp girl and I never strayed.
My suggestion is that first if you guys have to have a strong foundation, the desire to be with each other weather or not you are in the same local is key.
From there the trick is to simply play off of that desire. Make it known what your expectaions are and make sure you are both on the level as far as what you both expect for a long distance relationship to work, if that matches up fine, the rest is easy.
Make sure you remind him how much he turns you on even at such a distance, and how not having him there to satisfy you is unbearable, but not nearly as unbearable as loosing him. You accomplish the ego stroke and conveying how much desire he inspires for you which kills two huge birds with one stone when it comes to libra guys.
Be creative about being intimate. (Somehow I don't think a Gemeni needs to be told this) Seriously, webcams and steamy phone calls are your friend. trust me on this.
And the last one I can thin of for now is trust blindly. Libra guys have the "well if your going to accuse me of it I might as well be getting it" syndrome. Know that he will take an intillectual interrest in other girls, and he may even find himself in a situation or two where the "opportunity" is there, but chances are he wont cash in on it. For us, a lot of the time simply knowing we are turning someone on is more gratifying than actually getting with them, so he probably won't. Just remember it is an intillectual excersize with us and rarely ever emotional. I am not trying to wory, you may not even have to deal with this but better said now than found out later.
My Virgo girl was excellent about this when I traveled. In our conversations every couple of days I would brag about my feats of courtship at the bar the night before or wherever, she would ask questions and laugh along, telling me I am a dork and it became more of sharing a funny story than an actual danger of me straying from her. She alwayse had guys chasing her so I would tease her about that. Something like this.
Her: "so and so who has been hounding me for a while finally got me to go get drinks with him last night."
Me: "Lucky guy, does he know what he is getting into?"
.....
My suggestion is that first if you guys have to have a strong foundation, the desire to be with each other weather or not you are in the same local is key.
From there the trick is to simply play off of that desire. Make it known what your expectaions are and make sure you are both on the level as far as what you both expect for a long distance relationship to work, if that matches up fine, the rest is easy.
Make sure you remind him how much he turns you on even at such a distance, and how not having him there to satisfy you is unbearable, but not nearly as unbearable as loosing him. You accomplish the ego stroke and conveying how much desire he inspires for you which kills two huge birds with one stone when it comes to libra guys.
Be creative about being intimate. (Somehow I don't think a Gemeni needs to be told this
) Seriously, webcams and steamy phone calls are your friend. trust me on this. And the last one I can thin of for now is trust blindly. Libra guys have the "well if your going to accuse me of it I might as well be getting it" syndrome. Know that he will take an intillectual interrest in other girls, and he may even find himself in a situation or two where the "opportunity" is there, but chances are he wont cash in on it. For us, a lot of the time simply knowing we are turning someone on is more gratifying than actually getting with them, so he probably won't. Just remember it is an intillectual excersize with us and rarely ever emotional. I am not trying to wory, you may not even have to deal with this but better said now than found out later.
My Virgo girl was excellent about this when I traveled. In our conversations every couple of days I would brag about my feats of courtship at the bar the night before or wherever, she would ask questions and laugh along, telling me I am a dork and it became more of sharing a funny story than an actual danger of me straying from her. She alwayse had guys chasing her so I would tease her about that. Something like this.
Her: "so and so who has been hounding me for a while finally got me to go get drinks with him last night."
Me: "Lucky guy, does he know what he is getting into?"
.....
Her: "He wasn't that easy, I had to hit him over the head and drag him back to my house."
Me: "Did you steal his pants, I need a new nice pair of pants?"
Her: '' You wouldn't want em, you have better taste than he does, so how many of these girls were at your table at the club last night."
Me: "Four, only one of them lives in town, the rest were staying with her, the house was buetiful, Iv'e decided though I prefer I thread count cotton to silk sheets. No worries though, not even the four of em could get it all out of me."
Her: "I don't think anyone can."
Eventually when it got to out of hand we both just ended up laughing. We never strayed from each other and we were obviously just screwing with each other but joking about it in an ironic way highlighted the pointlessness of jealousy.
Me: "Did you steal his pants, I need a new nice pair of pants?"
Her: '' You wouldn't want em, you have better taste than he does, so how many of these girls were at your table at the club last night."
Me: "Four, only one of them lives in town, the rest were staying with her, the house was buetiful, Iv'e decided though I prefer I thread count cotton to silk sheets. No worries though, not even the four of em could get it all out of me."
Her: "I don't think anyone can."
Eventually when it got to out of hand we both just ended up laughing. We never strayed from each other and we were obviously just screwing with each other but joking about it in an ironic way highlighted the pointlessness of jealousy.
Nico.. Good advice, I really can't touch you on your advice here on DXP.. your a pro, if I must say so myself.. Wish my libra was more like you, we would probably be a lot further than we are, I am not sure how intouch with his emotions he is.. you seem to be able to converse with people more on a realist level(maybe that is not a good term) if he allows me to lead the convo, which he usually does, it's going to be about politics, religion or some theory about love I made up that morning.. nothing relevant to us. You seem to be able to pull women into your mind almost and share yourself. That's cool..
Oneluv77.. what happened?
Well I do have murcury in Scorpio, I think that might be why I can come acrossed as a realist when I need to in communication.
oneluv. i just saw this post. sorry for not replying. now since nic has mentioned enuf and the travel date is over, am curious to know what happened.
there is one line which may help a libran when u plan to travel - "forget everything, you just take ur stuff and come with me. I will be arranging everything else." he will do it on the run but he may avoid travelling when he gets messed up with planning and timing.
there is one line which may help a libran when u plan to travel - "forget everything, you just take ur stuff and come with me. I will be arranging everything else." he will do it on the run but he may avoid travelling when he gets messed up with planning and timing.
BTW ... I met my aqua friends fiance. He is a Libra.
I hate to say it but I don't think it will last. She puts him down a lot and I can see him cringe on the inside each time.
I hate to say it but I don't think it will last. She puts him down a lot and I can see him cringe on the inside each time.
grrrrrr I don't like people who put others down...especially in public - that's the worst!!!
Is she outright insulting him or is it more condescending?
LS.. I don't do that.. I would never put my libra or anyone down in public or anywhere else.. I love and respect him too much. However, a friend has told me that aqua's often times build one up then cut them at the knees by contradicting or disproving what a libra is trying to say.. the libra then has a bruised ego afterward.. I know I do this, but for different reasons not intending to hurt, just trying to get his attention and I do it very diplomatically. It was never brought to my attention before so now I have to work on this.. LS, maybe no one has brought it to your friends attention, maybe you could gingerly?
Does he ever get you back. A Libra/Aquarius argument can go from dangerous to hilarious. My mom and I would go from fierce to silly.
They seemed better at lunch today. Maybe they had a fight before hand? She was just saying how his job was a good job for being single but not appropriate for a married man. She kept going on about how he needed a haircut.
It was almost passive aggressive but not.
Oooohhhh Nic ... my MOM is an aqua. What is your dad? He isn't cancer is he? (cue scary music)
It was almost passive aggressive but not.
Oooohhhh Nic ... my MOM is an aqua. What is your dad? He isn't cancer is he? (cue scary music)
No, actually my mom and dad were both Aquas. We gotta have one odd one out or that would just be too freaky.
Nic.. I never noticed myself doing it in a negative light.. he usually gets quiet or says "yeah, whatever", and I think.. I got him... but now I am concerned that maybe I didn't, maybe he is upset and does not know how to tell me.
I always comment on his terrible taste in women and inability to get what he really needs and wants out of a relationship. He never has any substantial rebuttal, and if he says.. "well what about.. Sherry".. then I can come up with 25 reasons why she was the worst one yet.. and then.. once again... he is like a deer in headlights! freezes.. I think he forgets he tells me everything.. I try not to use it against him.. but sometimes, I just want to strangle him..(Chatz there it is again)..he just does not take subtle hints well...
I always comment on his terrible taste in women and inability to get what he really needs and wants out of a relationship. He never has any substantial rebuttal, and if he says.. "well what about.. Sherry".. then I can come up with 25 reasons why she was the worst one yet.. and then.. once again... he is like a deer in headlights! freezes.. I think he forgets he tells me everything.. I try not to use it against him.. but sometimes, I just want to strangle him..(Chatz there it is again)..he just does not take subtle hints well...
Aqua,
That is the wrong way to go with a Libra telling him he has horrible taste in women. As good as we are at judging people ourselves, we just want to be accepted for who we are and it's not that we don't ever want to, but it is one of our ingrained virtues to not make apologies for who we are or what we have done. At most just tell him you didn't like them if it gets brought up, and that you respect who he is enough understand however odd his choices may seem he must have his reasons and you can accept that. I mean, really, what are you trying to accomplish. Do these women change who YOU feel about HIM at all, I don't think so either, so it really isn't relevent except to preassure him into living up to someone elses standards which we are very resenting of. We like to please EVERYONE but do not feel we need to justify ourselves to ANYONE. Not trying to come down on you, I figured it would be good to be direct so that the importance of the concept didn't get lost.
No worries, he probably doesn't hold it against you, just make sure that in the future you don't come accross as needing him to justify anything in his past or even his present regarding to how he feels. This is one area that almost ended my mothers and my relationship.
That is the wrong way to go with a Libra telling him he has horrible taste in women. As good as we are at judging people ourselves, we just want to be accepted for who we are and it's not that we don't ever want to, but it is one of our ingrained virtues to not make apologies for who we are or what we have done. At most just tell him you didn't like them if it gets brought up, and that you respect who he is enough understand however odd his choices may seem he must have his reasons and you can accept that. I mean, really, what are you trying to accomplish. Do these women change who YOU feel about HIM at all, I don't think so either, so it really isn't relevent except to preassure him into living up to someone elses standards which we are very resenting of. We like to please EVERYONE but do not feel we need to justify ourselves to ANYONE. Not trying to come down on you, I figured it would be good to be direct so that the importance of the concept didn't get lost.
No worries, he probably doesn't hold it against you, just make sure that in the future you don't come accross as needing him to justify anything in his past or even his present regarding to how he feels. This is one area that almost ended my mothers and my relationship.
Nic.. Will not do it again.. I do enjoy learning and making situations better. Some things I just don't know and I can't correct until I know it is a problem, so I thank you all for your help. Maybe he will start feeling more comfortable around me if he does not feel he has to justify himself and his decisions.
sounds like a good lesson learnt
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