Looking for that Clarity

This topic was created in the Libra forum by ReinaDelMar23 on Saturday, July 13, 2013 and has 6 replies.
A long time back, I have posted a topic about a Libra male that I had a past with, that I still care about, but I have back away from due to his actions. We have been back and forth for a few years now, never making any headway in one direction or another so I have come to the habit of going about my business when he blows through, kind of hurt that nothing goes any further but not letting him take over my life. I don't know where to fully start in this sordid affair but I am going to cut to current events and I will fill in details if needed.
For a couple of months now, he has been requesting that I come visit him in his state. I have thought it over, and when I try to ask him when he would like for me to come, he is extremely wishy washy about it. In the back of my mind, I would assume that he was having other girls over because I would bust out and say that I plan to be up there in a couple of months and he would tell me things like it was "too soon" and the like. To test the water, I would even tell him I would come down in a couple of weeks. Just for him to kind of freak out about it. I figured he was blowing smoke up my ass so I just dropped the subject all the while he was blowing hot and cold.Come to find out, he was asking one of his other exes to come down as well.......from Africa. She asks me if it was alright and if so, how would she get there.......The whole conversation between she and I was very fishy, and it felt like he was behind it and was digging for information (he has done this so many times with me before that if one of our mutual acquaintances comes up and talks to me after a long while, i feel something is up). He texted me a day later in the middle of the night with a "hey" I don't respond to it. My logical mind is screaming "RED FLAG", and I am usually very keen on staying away from any guy exhibiting even a fourth of the craziness I see from him. Emotionally (stupidity more like it), I feel that I should figure out what the hell his game is. I'm frustrated about it because I have to hear everything about his supposed feelings for me second-hand or find out he has been lurking around on my Facebook or asking people about me. I'm too old for this and so is he. What are you all's thoughts on this so far?
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In regards to the travel, pick a date and say I'm coming this day. If he says it won't work then go no contact and leave it at that. I'm in a similar situation, though I'm the Libra and she's a Scorpio. Told me I should meet her in New Orleans (she's there this weekend) or I could always come visit her (mind you she is seeing someone and lives with them). I said I'd be down for that, but she didn't mention again. So one day we were talking and I said if the invite was still open I was thinking of coming a weekend in August. Five minutes later she said that would be fine and we hashed out a few details (this was a month ago so you can't really plan a whole lot and I don't really care what we do). Now two weeks ago I actually booked the flight and again I contacted her to say I got the ticket. She joked quickly and then asked what the dates were, also to email my itinerary.
The whole point of the story is you need to be specific. I'm not saying your the cause of the problem, he obviously has some other issues going on, but with us you need to be specific. If you say "we should hangout" we just get confused. When should we hang out? We are better with a "let's go to x on Tuesday at 6 pm." That tells us you do actually want to see us because you were specific with your times. Sounds to me he's shy and perhaps not 100% sure on how he feels about you. I'd say he likes you, especially if he has people checking up on you, but he's just not a 100% on the situation. All that being said, time to go big or go home. Dealing with this for years is healthy or enjoyable and sometimes he have to just say you'd be better off without someone such as this in your life.
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Amen to a million reasons to second guess something! I immediately assume the worst and about 98% of the time I am wrong...
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Yeah but that means 98% of the time it goes better than you thought it would, giving you something to be excited about... Winking
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Haha ah sometimes, most times I just worry about the next thing coming Sad oh the life of a Libra
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You all, thank you for your input. I appreciate it. I have just been frustrated about the whole situation. He is a good person deep down but he has so many barriers, boobie traps, land mines, and an over hyper, hypersensitive, extremely suspicious mind that laser zooms on everything. Normally I am one proud Leo that doesn't put up with any butter but I feel a bit helpless, not just because I am in my feelings about him but because this whole situation is easy to pick apart by the casual glance. I have my barriers up as well on this song and dance at this point but I feel as though I want to move forward. I think what I want more than anything is to clear the air about all of our misgivings. Whenever the cold spell comes in, I go about my business but he comes back and acts as though nothing happened and as much as I try to be carefree about it, I have internalized a lot of my past feelings and thoughts on things to make a fresh start. I care for him but I don't know what to do at this point.
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