My Libra man is driving me nuts

Posted by DiwaDewi
Disclaimer: Sorry if this post will be a bit of a long read.

Quick background: I'm a Cancer and my boyfriend is a Libra. We've known each for years and had a thing before (online) but have only been together this year. We have been a couple since February.

Things are really great between us and so intense! Our connection is unbelievably intuitive, almost pyschic sometimes. Sex is beyond amazing. BUT (heh!) two months after and things have started to get a lil wonky.

As intense as our love is for each other, that's also how spicy our fights get. And boy did it become frequent.

Anyway, I'm not gonna go into much details. Just think that we really didn't get a long most of the time anymore on that third month onwards to the point that the littlest things gets blown up and we argue almost every single effing day. We do get calm at the end of the day and still have that amazing sex (gosh, that one is just hard to say no to! It's just that good despite whatever shit had happened).

So well, I got pregnant. I thought he'd mellow down, but no. Still the same! And he is good at turning the table around and place all the blame on me saying I provoke him all the time and make him angry and that I have all these drama (yeah, sometimes okay when I get sad). Like whutt? I'm peace loving, dude! I don't like fights. Duuh.

Long story short, our relationship is turning toxic so I decided to go home to my grandparents and spend the early part of my pregnancy there 'cause I don't want to be surrounded by all this negativity and be stressed by him. He didn't want to of course but I persisted. We talk everyday until now (still away from him) but he still stresses me out. There's just always something to argue about and he can go hours just ranting to me. There was a time it took us two freaking days talking about issues and he's blaming me he couldn't work 'coz he feels bad. That was so draining.

Okay, Ima try to get to my concern. Our relationship seems to be on the toxic side now but we both can't seem to let go of each other because we still do care and love each other (and well, we're still very very much sexually attracted to each other). He's been very clingy and insecure and would want all my attention to him even if I'm on family events or socializing with friends. Part of me wants to keep this relationship 'cause well, we both want to build a family together especially now that I'm carrying his child. But another part of me is telling me I should end this because of all his red flags (plus he always tries to get me jealous saying he's suddenly surrounded with girls).

I am torn! One day he seems cheerful and loving and sweet, then the next he has issues with me again. So confusing! I just want a normal relationship. Not like this where we fight on the daily (oh god, that guy needs to chill!). Any thoughts or advice?

Posted by LordComplexity

Posted by boxcarmirnta
Is your boyfriend @LordComplexity??

Lmao, none of my relations have ever had a real "fighting" problem.

My ex Melody would berate me and got physically abusive. She had Cancer Sun, Sag Moon. Pretty close to OP's set up. I was passive to her enough to let her wail on me. To observers they thought I was abusive but only because how manipulative she was. There was no real fighting. Just me confronting her about shit completely calmly and civilly(or otherwise breaking down emotionally, not getting angry), particularly when I had explicit evidence or I was just repeating things she herself said.

If you call fighting her constantly flipping around and telling me how worthless I was, especially compared to her ex and her friends. Me simply confronting her lies like claiming she didn't have phone service when she did, or claiming she hadn't been with anyone else after us separating for a short bit, etc. Her whackin me in the head demanding I leave. Etc.

But I never really took a tone that was against her. Only when she was completely insensitive to my emotions and overreacted to me confrontin shit, and it was always very short lived on my end as I ended up resorting more so to sad emotions, hurt, etc and trying to get her to see why I was hurt.

That's just one example. Relationships can be dysfunctional without couples constantly fighting. Especially if things really are 1 sided. Because in abusive situations, that's usually how it goes. So I won't say that my relationships have been all that great and healthy. But stop with the assumptions.

Hell I didn't even abandon the chick I /allegedly/ knocked up. I mean never mind that Melody conveniently had a miscarriage, and someone I met predicted that, that would happen. Which kinda proves said person knew what they were talking about and knew all about that kind of crazy bitch. He was right, she was just bullshit. Stop making me out to be the villain. I was the one manipulated into believing I had a child, and how did I ultimately react to that idea despite being financially rock bottom and never having wanted children beforehand?

By wanting to stick by Melody's side and raise it together. As well in the long term, 6 more kids that she already had with other guys. I was literally the exact opposite of guys who actually do shirk responsibility and run from that shit. Anyone with a brain knows that if I was as you guys suggest, I would have claimed I was going to the store never to return. Herpderp.

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Posted by LordComplexity

Posted by boxcarmirnta
Yea it was all her fault. MEHHH WRONG. I am grateful there is no longer a kid involved though.

Abusive situations are almost always one sided. There are a rare few exceptions like my sister and her girlfriend. But usually abusers only pick on weak and vulnerable prey. They usually don't like a taste of their own medicine so they usually don't try to get with other abusers.

Victims are victims, end of story. Stop fucking blaming victims for what their abusers do you sick fuck.

There's a reason my ex kept making note of "how innocent I looked and seemed". I always thought it was weird at the time. But only now do I know why she put so much stock in it. I rationalized that she cherished that I wouldn't hurt her. But that was only half the picture. What she really cherished was that I most probably wouldn't fight back if she abused me. Which is exactly what ended up happening. She just didn't estimate that I would walk out the door.

Actually you know what. I don't know why im explaining this shit. By your response, you're obviously an abusive cunt yourself. You're literally trying to tell me that abuse isn't all the abuser's fault. You're the kind of person that rationalizes that abuse can be deserved. Go get aids or something cunt, I ain't got time fo yo retardation.

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