need advice about a Libra woman

This topic was created in the Libra forum by DennyV19 on Saturday, December 13, 2008 and has 405 replies.
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i am a 26 y/o Italian libra male who fell for a 30 y/o Columbian girl who is also a libra.
What is up with libra woman?
This girl has got me like i dont know what to do next.
I have been trying to take this girl out to a nice Italian restaurant because she said she loves italian food, and its been like 3 months and we still havent gone out. I dont text her a lot, i dont call her a lot because i dont want to be annoying. But she has to know im interested in her. I dont know what to do....my one friend told me to stay distan and let her come to me...but i dont knwo if shes gonna honestly....she seems old school and i know its the guys job to chase the girl, i know thta...and i have.
I know she had trouble finding a job so i knwo she had stuff to deal with, but now she found a job, and i just think about this girl constantly....all the time. And i dont know waht to do.
Do i stay away? If so for how long?
Do i call or text her?
Do i be honest with her and tell her how i feel? but then im always afraid if i do that then she will lose interest instantly, because i feel its a turn off when people know you like them.
The last time i talked to her was last tuesday, i sent her a text wishing her luck on her first day of her new job..and her response was "thank you"
Sometimes she gives me signs that she is interested...and other times im not so sure. She did go to Columbia about a month ago...and i was supposed to take her out the day before she left, but she canceled on me and said she was sorry but she had a lot to do but that she did want to go. So i said to myself...im not persuing this girl no more.....sure enough when she comes back from columbia, i get a text "hey how are you". So its like 1 min i feel shes not interested, and the other min i feel like she may be. I dont know what to do. But i think about her like crazy.
In fact, when she graduated in august, i couldnt find her the last dya of school, so i wrote a note saying it was nice meeting her and i said if she wanted to talk again sometime that here was my number...and i gave it to her friend to give to her. and i left it up to her to get in touch with me and she did text me like 5 days later..this was back in august.
So what is up with Libra women...should i wait....are things looking better in 09?
Should i get her a small xmas gift and ask her once more to meet up with me because i got her a gift?
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=26104173&ref=name
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no no....the last time i talked to her was last week...we have been talking SINCE august on and off....via text and occasional phone calls....the alst time i spoke to her was last week.
and yes she i think she did put a spell on me...cause i got it bad for this girl
so now what?
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You're italian and Libra. That can only mean you're absolutely charming. (I know, I'm dating one.)

I think you're obsessed with the chase now. That's why she's "got you" so bad.
She's probably the first girl who hasn't given into you right away, and you're intrigued. Maybe she's just not interested, or maybe she's trying to play hard to get because she knows the game better than you. smile Just think about it.
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ok so i made up my mind...im going to get her something for xmas...maybe two things. Any suggestions. I was thinking of getting her a nursing onrnament customized with her name on it since we did meet in nursing school. I figured its not too lovey dovey but its nice. And i also want to get her something else too.
Listen, i am a realist..sometimes i do think shes jsut not interested in me...but then again...why woudl she text me when she came back from Columbia? If she didnt want to talk to me anymore, that was her way out...to just not contact me anymore..but she did. So things like that make me think. And then i was laying in bed and i was sayign a prayer..and i mentioned her in my prayers and i asked God if its meant be just let her get in touch with me. And thats hwen i woke up the next mornign to a text from her "hey how are you" I believe in things like that
And why woudl she text me after her friend gave her the note....if she had NO interest at all, she wouldnt have texted me at all...i was never going to see her again...she graduated....so i was never going to see her again...she didnt have to text me...but she did.
And yes i am a helpless romantic...im a nice guy...i know how to treat a woman...but the thing is...im very very picky. I dont find many women that i like enough to pursue. Ive had one gf my whole life and we went out for 5 years...i dotn go out iwth girls unless i can see myself in the future with them....and this girl gives that feeling. When i think about her i just think that were supposed to be together. idk, its weird.
So any gift ideas?
any other thoughts?
should i call her before i get her a gift to say hello or just get her the gift and then call her and ask to meet up? Should i tell her i got her something i would like to give her?
come on libra women...help me out
i really dont knwo too much about astrology or horoscopes, but thats why i came on here. My friend told me about this site...so enlighten me. Give me some input. smile
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=26104173&ref=name
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"i feel its a turn off when people know you like them. " Where the hell do people get that? I would love it if someone liked me. Last time I checked that's the point of a relationship.
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You don't me like every much do virgo_librasmile FYI I did not get shot down.
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Oh got ya. My bad.
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Ya I saw that. Funny.
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(((I dont text her a lot, i dont call her a lot because i dont want to be annoying.)))
wrong move. there shud be some waves initially.
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there was waves in the beginning (septemberish octoberish)....but after asking her out a few times and still coming up empty...i kind of backed off a little...im going to get her a christmas gift...and the im going to give her a call and tell her that i got her a little something for her for christmas & if she would like to meet up and have dinner or something. I guess this is going to be my last horrah.
what else can i do?
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the thing is...our schedules are very tight...nursing school is no joke and i literally have no time to do anything...and she was lookign for a job and she was very busy too...so im not really taking it to heart taht we werent able to get together...but now school is over for me until january..and she found her self a job a couple weeks ago...so now the whole tight schedules thing s hould be over and we should finally be able to go out.
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yea...i just dont know what to do. I want so bad to tell her how special i think she is...but then im just afraid thats gonna turn her off for some reason...idk y. Its weird. Trust me...im thinking of something special i can do. but i just dont knwo waht to do
Right now, im going to get the ornament...and im going to get her a card...and maybe say a little something in the card about how i feel. but i also want to tell her in person too...im just afraid shes gonna think its too much too soon. But the truth of it is, i cant stop thinking about her...now do i tell her that? thts the question.....Am i going to tell this girl when i see her that i think about her a lot?
Who knows....thats why im trying to get different peoples feedback...especially from Libras because me and her are both Libras.
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its like...whats the cut-off between really sweet and borderline psycho.
thats what im really afraid of...if i do something to nice...shes gonna think im like obsessed with her or something.
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the thing is...when we were in school in august...we were talking and she mentioned how she loved italian food...and i know a really good Italian restaurant...so i have been asking her since september to go to this restaurant with me...i offered to pick her up...i have bragged about this restaurant so much to her cause it really is unbelievable food....first her car was getting fixed, then she was going to a concert, then she went to Columbia...then when she could go i couldnt make it that day....we just havnet had good luck with the time...but like i said before, its different now because i have a break from school, she found a job...so those are 2 big things out of the way for both of us...so my plan is....go shopping next week and get her that customized nursing ornament with her name on it...and i have to think of 1 other thing to get her...something that really hits home and really lets her know how special i think she is....i just cant think of anything. and im also going to get her a card and right a little something in there.
So hopefully i get this all done by wednesday and then i will call her wednesday and ask her to come to dinner with me...and if she starts telling me she has this to do and that to do...then im just gonna tell her..look i got you a little something for christmas that i want to give you. But im not going to tell her that first....at first i want to see if she will just meet me for dinner..and then right before we leave, Im gonna give her her gifts.
But what can i get her?...something thats will take her breath away...something really thoughtful.
And also, what do i write in the card..
Again, there is always the fear that she thinks im obsessed with her or something...thats the one thing i defenetly dont want to happen. Thats why i have to choose my gifts and words for her carefully.
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we have a tendency to fall in love with our good friend. may be u shud be a friend to her to begin with.
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Dating a libra women is going to burn a hole in your pocket. My cousin is one, they want to be treated like princesses. Have fun with that..
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thats what i want to do...
when i ask her to dinner...i dont want it to be a "date" ....i mean it will be just without the title. I do want to get ot know her better and i do want us to be friends to start...but then there are times where this is just dragging and i want to tell her how i feel in a nice subtle way....
idk what to do...this girl has me so confused...i just dont knwo what to do
i dont knwo if i should call her, leave her a vm, txt her, ask her to dinner again, talk to her and not ask her out....i just dont know anymore
but i do know im defenetly going to get her something for xmas and that should let her know that i think about her.
i just have to think of a good gift.
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well its funny you say that about burning a hole in my pocket..
because she is 30, she bought a house with her mother...she loves to shop...she likes stores like Guess and stuff like that...
but heres the thing....idc...i would drop 200 dollars on a dinner for us in a heartbeat if i knew she would show up...i walk 20 miles to her house just to see her...i cant help that i like this girl...i cant control how i feel...i wish i didnt like her...but i do...and i think about this girl a lot...i just dont knwo what to F'n do anymore.
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Well that's good than. Lol man, your such a libra, so back and forth. She is too tho right? I bet she thinks the same way too. You two love birds will figure it out. I hear that libra + libra= perfection. Best of luck to yousmile
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haha...you have no idea how indecisive I am...i mean with EVERYTHING. And i usually wind up making the wrong decision and second guessing myself.
I dont know if she is as indecisive as me. I dont what shes thinking about...i hope she thinks of me at least a little.
F ...my mind is so tired thinking about this girl and thinking of what I should do next
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dennyV, do you have any aries friend? they'll kick you into a decision swiftly Tongue
The whole thing you write reminds me of my Libra friend - 26 too...
he recently went through this cycle you're going through...at least you got to dxp, he used to come to my house to ask me if he should make a phonecall...and talk about it for over 3hrs

Bottom line is, you have to be you...even if she agrees to go out with you, isn't it better she knows the real you?
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virgo-libra
i have been very patient up to this point...i havent put any pressure on her or make her feel guitly in anyway. All i have done was invite her to dinner a few times, but we both had stuff to do. Im going to get her a xmas gift or 2 next week, and im goign to call her one last time on wednesday and ask her to come out with me for dinner sometime during the weekend. And there i will give her her xmas gifts and not do anything to lovey dovey extreme, but at the same time letting her know taht i am interested in her. and i know i shouldnt think too much into the texts, but i still think that if she had NO interst in me at all, she would have never sent them. She seems the type that if she doesnt want to bother with you, she wont. IDk i could be wrong.

Zenalchemy
I understand what your saying...but i would never alter my personality or change who I am for any girl. I am who I am, love me or hate me. I think this girl is interested to a point, but just skeptical for some reason. Maybe she got dicked over by a guy in the past, i mean who knows. Shes 30 years old, beautiful, and single. Maybe something happend in the past with another guy that makes her skeptical of all guys..idk...i just want to take her out once so she can see im different than most guys.
The only thing is, i have been told that i look like a player, and people have told me this time and time again. but the truth is im ont...so maybe she thinks i just want to hook up with her, but its not the case at all. but maybe she doesnt know that.
I just need to go out with her so she will see who i really am. Sometimes i think about when we were both in school before she graduated, and we used to talk, and we had such good conversations...and now its been 3 months and i havent seen her yet. I guess next week is my last horrah...what else can i do?
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ive been doing a lof of thinking about the situation...sometimes i feel like getting her a xmas gift because i want to and asking out to dinner, again. But then there is a part of me that feels like a puppy dog whos making a fool of himself...and that makes me want to stay away and see if she contacts me. IDK what to do.
I have no idea what shes thinking...or if shes even thinkign of me at all. How do i know taht she doesnt roll her eyes when she sees my number...or how do i know she doesnt smile from ear to ear when she sees my number.
This situation sucks...its not supposed to be like this w/ all these F'n head games...im probably just gonna wind up getting disappointed in the end....thats why i want to stay away...but is that really waht i want?

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i dont know..cause im a libra and im indecissive about every decision. i Just wished she contacted me a little more. I havnet spoke to her in 2 weeks. Last thing that was said was i sent her a text wishing her luck on her new job...and she replied with just a 'thank u'...thats it. that was 2 weeks ago.
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Geez if I met a guy like you..I'd for you asap! lol
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*go
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libraeyes;
Thank you for that compliment...if only that girl thought the same as you, everything would be ok and i probably would never have been on here.
But who knows what shes thinking.
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You're welcome hun, if she's not intrested give me a call lol Winking
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lol !
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hahaha....if only my mind wasnt strictly on this girl.
I was going to call her today...but I decided not too. I still dont knwo if im going to get her an xmas gift and pretty much make it known in some way how i feel about her...or if im just going to stay distant and see if she gets in touch with me. This whole thing is just F'ed.
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I mean whats the deal with you Libra women? what does a guy have to do? Im convinced girls dont like nice guys....i used to think it was bullshit that nice guys finish last...but as time goes on, im starting to see it gets more true by the day.
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You're not doing anything wrong. She's just not really realizing it. The best thing to do is to just tell her how you feel, that's great that your getting her gifts but don't get too caught up on it. just focus on what you really need to say to her and when you do she might feel the same way the worst thing she can say is no. You're a sweet guy and libra women like that, just use your libra charm and just tell her. You're building yourself an obstacle course thinking of what to buy her for xmas,then you give her the gifts she likes them but then what?.... you know? Idk that's the best advice I can give at the moment because is so early in the morning for me lol. =)
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Denny, give her the ornament and take her to dinner. It is the perfect plan. Trust me.
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I think you have your answer, Denny! Dinner and ornament! Now go, and report back to us all the details smile
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Denny
How close are you with her as a friend at this stage? If both of you are friend, perhaps you get to know her more like what type of guys she like. Cause I felt that you don't really understand what she is thinking at the moment and is doing a lot of guessing. From what I see, I think you hold back too much to show her that you really love her ! You are deeply in love with her, but you didn't show it to her clear enough. smile
My suggestion:
1. Text her more often. Create conversation with her. Libra is very good in conversation and communication right? Show that you care about her in your message, try to make her laugh.
2. Get to know her more. From there, you will know what to do.
3. Try to let her know you more too ! Have you ever hints her that you are crazy in love with her? Tongue I don't know, sometimes, women just enjoyed to be loved by someone. If she doesn't feel your 'LOVE', maybe she thought you are not into her as much as you do.
As for your Xmas gift, I don't really think renting a limo or going to expensive restaurant would be a good idea...I personally will think that 'Are you treating me as a materialistic girl'? I think just a comfortable restaurant (Italian restaurant like you suggested) is good enough, since this is your very first move. Making her comfortable during the dine is most important i guess, that's the chance you get to know her more !
Good luck my friend!

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We are friends...its not like in never spoke to her before...we were in the same school for 1 semester, and we talked a good amount of times during that semester. And the crazy thing is, when i was talking to her, i didnt realize i liked her until 2 weeks before the semester ended, thats when i realized im not going to see this girl again...and then it started to bother me....then abotu a few days before the end of the semester it was like a wake up call...im like "Wow, im gonna miss this girl.....wait, I like this girl!" So we were friends...its not like a gave a stranger my number you know.
Alright heres the deal...im going to the mall maybe today or tommorrow...im going to get a cusomized nursing onrmanet for her with ner name on it...and the im going to call her wednesday night and ask her if she would like to get dinner with me on the weekend. If she throws out an excuse...i know myself...im going to be so tempted to say something like "look, ive been trying to take you out for 3 months and all you did was give me excuses, yet tell me that you did want to go" but if she gives me a stupid excuse...she can forget about me calling or texting...but if she sais, "sure il go" I'l be floating on a cloud
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Maybe cause im Italian and not Columbian
My friend was telling me that a girl like that is looking for something better
In other words..she graduated from school already and has a job, shes 30...so he said that shes lookign for somebody who is like 33-35 with an established career etc...and me, im still in nursing school (will be done in August), im younger (26)...so hes like thats all going against me right there.
IDK why this girl dont like me...im a nice guy, i dont jump from girl to girl, im loyal, im very family oriented ...whoever i marry, if i ever do get married, im going to love the heck out of my wife...i think shes probably just not physically attracted to me. Thats really all that I can come up with...she cant be like "oh hes an A-hole"...cause im not
She either thinks im a player, dont like me cause im Italian and not Columbian, or isnt phsycially attracted to me.
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'im a nice guy, i dont jump from girl to girl, im loyal, im very family oriented ...whoever i marry, if i ever do get married, im going to love the heck out of my wife...'
You should SHOW her this. Yeah, she probably won't attracted to you because you are younger than her, and she is looking someone who already has certain kind of status or career. But you have to prove your love to her with consistency...Libra is indecisive right? So maybe she needs some time on her time during the process..just be patient...
I just felt that there is no reason for her to dislike you. smile Since you are a nice guy...
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its thursday night and i havent done anything...i havent called her, texted her. I saw the ornament i want to get her but they only have it in a mall taht is 45 min from my house...now dont get me wrong i have no problem driving there to get the ornament...its just, ive been doing a lot of thinking and my one friend is telling me that im crazy for getting her something because she doesnt deserve anything from me.
I dont know if i agree with him, i mean...its been two weeks and she hasnt called or texted at all....and I really have no idea what im going to do. I have no clue at all. I dont knwo if im gonna call her tommmorrow and ask ehr if she woudl like to get some dinner for the weekend or early next week (whenever she is free)...i dont know if im goign to get her the nursing ornament..or if im just going to do nothing
as much as i think about her, i also dont want to seem desperate or like some puppy dog you know...Id rather be alone forever than feel like that...
I have no clue what Im going to do.
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im not letting anybody influence me...its just Im starting to think and its very complicated
at times, she make sme seem like shes interested...right before she left for Columbia, she blew me off for dinner, but then sent me a text saying "im sorry i just have a lot to do but I do want to go"...so that tells me that she does want to go
but then on the other hand....whenever I text her she takes a day to get back to me....i havent heard from her in 2 weeks...i mean are these all signs taht shes not interested? It seems like it.
Bottom line is, she gives me some signs that she MAY be interested, but actions speak louder than words and her actions are kind of telling me shes not that interested. That is why I dont know what to do. Maybe I will call her one last time and if she doesnt answer Il leave a VM asking her about dinner this weekend...but im still not sure about what to do. I know im a Libra and all...but man this indecisive stuff sux...i feel like I contimplate every decision i make and it always winds up being the wrong one.
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I dont know....I've never known a libra girl to be interested in someone and not take action. But who knows what she's thinking. I don't think those "signs" are enough to determine she's absolutely not interested. It sounds more like she's maybe involved with another guy to me? Do you have any mutual friends or anything? Have you hung out with her before - besides school?
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Irish libra:
I think the same as you...that is why i did back off and I did let the chips fall...and the result is i havent spoke to her in over 2 weeks...no call from her or texts or anything. Now I know she is probably old school, doesnt want to make any moves, she is 30 and bought a house with her mother so her mother probably instilled it in her head to let the guys chase you....and that is fine, I will do the chasing...,i believe the guy always goes to the girl, but come on, give me a little soemthing in return.

Brianafay,
I dont think she is dating somebody else...trust me..she is not the type to be juggling two guys...if she had a bf, she woudl have told me from the start. We have no mutual friends, and we have not hung out once outside of school. Its so weird, when we were talking in school, i didnt even knew i liked her like that, we would talk like it was nothing at all...but now its all F-ed up.
Trust me, im not saying she has to be calling me everyday or texting me everyday...but its been two weeks and nothing. And we went through this in October. I backed off for 3 weeks, but then her bday came up and i couldnt in good concsious not wish her a happy bday...tahts just the way I am, so when i texted her happy bday, she was all excited that i remembered.
and the thing of it is...i truly just want to take this girl out...idc if we "hook up", seriously i really just want to take her to this restaurant...and then maybe go to a musuem with her in NYC (i live 5 min from Manhattan), the maybe take her to the zoo one day...fun stuff...and i could care less if we hook up or not...idk if this girl is thinking i just want to get in her pants...but the thing is....she really will not know who I am or what im about until we actualy hang out just me and her...and thats why im asking for 1 date...if she dont like me after 1 time hanging out, then hey, it is what it is...but give me that chance.
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I think you should buy her the gift and just give it to her.
Then after Christmas, you should ask her to MEET after work 4 a coffee.
Then I think you should ask her to dinner.
In between all of that.. she should have shown you in some small way that she is interested.
If she does not, then you have given her a gift that she will remember you by.
Us Libra's have conflicts, you should know that as you are one as well??
The Leebra
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Denny look up the word seduction. It isn't used as much as it should be by Libra's!!smilesmile
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ok...its saturday night and i still havent called her...it snowed here last night (north jersey) and its going to snow again tommorrow...the roads are terrible...very icy and snowy...if i call her and invite her to dinner within the next few days, i have a pretty good feelign that conditions of the roads will be the reason for not wanting to meet up..and i cant blame her because the roads are TERRIBLE and its going to get worse.
There is my luck. Probably wont get a chance to ask her before xmas...unless we make it on a tuesday but then shes going to tell me she has to wrap gifts and prepare the dinner...and yada yada yada (for the seinfeld nuts like myself)...so do i ask her out again almost knowing that she is going to give me some holiday excuse like wrappign gifts, dinner, food shopping etc etc..?? what do i do? Because if i ask her out and shes like "i want to go but i have a lot to do for xmas?" then what do i do? I cant really take it to heart because im sure she does have a lot to do for the holidays, and il be right back in the EXACT spot im in now.
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Why dont you try the direct approach and ask her if she is interested in going out with you? One way or the other you're going to know whether it's the real deal or you're just wasting time!!!! What's up with people these days? Too much beating around the bush playing stupid texting games, (men & women text in different languages too) pick up the phone ring her and get you answer straight fromt he horses mouth!!!!
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now thats good advice!!!
Stupid texts...I couldnt agree more smile
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Amen...i agree 100% ....its been 4 months since i saw her...if i ask her straight out, she may say "No i still want to go"...but how do i know shes not saying that just to be nice you know....she texted me when she bailed on me before she went to Columbia that shes sorry but she does want to go....that was 2 months ago...maybe il just call her tommorrow idk.
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OMG you really are a LIbra arent you??? LOL.....stop analyzing, stop thinking too hard about it.....just call her and ask her straight out. That way you'll know either way and if she says No? then you know and you can move on - simple smile How do you know she's not just being nice? I know first hand that a LIbra can be VERY honest and direct. Tell her how you feel for Godsake so you can have peace...you're turning yourself inside out for what?
Good luck
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Amen to Chatz. Be a man lol. Just be direct and go for it. If she doesn't feel the same way back, it's not the end of the world libra! Your world won't come crashing down. You guys can think really black and white like that sometimes. There will be lots of others. And if she does, than how wonderful, but you'll never get to know if you don't try. The games in your head have got to stop. Don't think just DO that's the only way to get somewhere in life. JUST DO IT BOY!!! smile
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