OMG WHAT THE????

This topic was created in the Libra forum by Chatz on Saturday, April 7, 2007 and has 28 replies.
Ok you all know about my story (ok don't move to the next topic ok?? LOL)....well I thought things were going really well but yesterday afternoon my LIbran sends me a text re: a jealousy issue.....now i have NEVER given him any reason to be jealous about anything and it is HIM who scours the singles sites day in day out.
Anyway long story short I've figured he doesnt really want me, not in a real r/ship as such (not yet anyway, maybe not ever), yet he can't stand the thought there may be other guys vying for my attention....what the????
So my heart is racing at a million miles an hour and I reply and yada yada. He was visiting his mother with his little girl so I understood he couldn't get into it but 10.30 last night he comes onto messenger and we hash it out - OMG is all I can say, then he acted as if there was nothing in it and then starts getting all naughty again.....argghhhhh!!!!
Our first misunderstanding!!! gawd
Not sure I like the jealousy thing at all.....let's face it, I have to put up with him chatting to all and sundry every freaking night and always wonder if tonight or tomorrow or next weekend he'll hook up with one of them!! So far so good but sheesh!!!
Im not sure whether jealousy is a good thing with these guys but it worries me that he can cause so much havoc in my day with one simple text. He's starting to check up on what I do, he asks about other guys, yet he won't commit to us.....what the???
when we realize we are getting jealous, we also realize we are slowly falling in love beyond the sexual attraction. I think its something positive..
I think thelibran is right, especially in this case. Half of his emotional side is capable, the other isn't. I think this means he is comming around but I think you need to snap the reigns a little bit. Tell him that his behavior is confusing and the simple truth is you will not allow him to hold you to a double standard, possibly chatting with other women all night, then acting suspicious about your behavior.
While I think he is comming around I do think you need to confront him on it. Focus on the principle, the idea behind what is bothering you, not the actions specifically because unfortunately you guys "know" what each other is doing away from the other but you don't really "know" if that makes any sense. Just make it clear that you feel you are getting the short end of the stick here and if he wants you to keep yourself open to only him that is fine but he has to come around on his end or no deal.
Remind him of how much you like him, and while this bothers you, you aren't really mad because you know what you are getting yourself into and you feel that he is worth it, but he is has to meet you in the middle.

Approaching it like that re affirms how much you like and want to be with him without comming out as demanding or possesive, showing you understand where he is comming from and all that your really asking is he have the same understanding from where you are comming from.
I concur with Nic
Very insightful Nicodemus. I agree completely. Took the words out of my mouth.
Great minds think alike Winking
Thank you again...appreciate it. I've actually just pulled away over the past 2 days and intend to keep it that way for a few more days....its just too confusing and I know for a fact he'd be pretty upset that I've just disappeared and that he did actually upset me, but what he does lately is unfair....he's been going out of his way to do things that impress me (and whoah at those things), then he does this? when he knows that he couldn't have anybody more loyal? I had a feeling he was getting a little more attached than he'd like to admit or that I'd be game enough to even hope for but now it seems he's playing a completely different game. I'd be more than happy to give him exclusive, damnit, he's got it but he could give something back so yeah, I really do have to face the fact I have to kinda have it out with him in one way or another (in a nice way of course) and just giving myself that space to think long and hard. Not sure whether the space is a good thing but right now, I am finding it hard to understand his ways....maybe he's even more confused, I dunno but sheesh, talk about causing havoc by one simple text from absolutely nowhere!!!
Anyway thank you for giving me hope again that there could be more....just hope I don't get a crazed jealous guy in the long run. *rolls eyes*
Happy Easter by the way smile
Chatz, let's see: the confrontation thing HAS worked with him. Yes, he's jealous because he doesn't want any possible risk of losing you to someone else---but he probably doesn't know how to tell you. You've got his heart and boy is he confused!
thanks Atom, yeah he is confused....chatted with him last night and it seems he's turning himself inside out - nice change LOL, and even stayed home all weekend (apart from the family commitments for Easter) because he was upset that he had given me his flu and all my plans had to be changed *sigh* Awwwww how sweet LOL. Oh and I never blamed him - it was at my own risk seeing him when he was sick.
Time will tell now....Im not working so hard anymore though....I know he's not going anywhere but its up to him to make the next move/s coz Im a tad exhausted from it all. I think the 2 days without communication was good for us both, it certainly gave me time to calm down and him time to think....can only be good.
Anyway...we will see smile
I'm not working so hard either. Had a BLAST with Libra Girl by basically ignoring her and being aloof when we were together over the weekend. I think she's "broken" 'cause she just doesn't seem romantically interested AT ALL. BUT she loves my company and how I treat her and loves to share everything ELSE in her life(!) but no *mmmmmmm*? 'Not used to that.
*sneezes*...thank goodness that's out!!! Grrrrr@sick librans spreading lurgies LOL.
Atom, I dunno...but a blast sounds pretty darned good to me - but you know your answer in what you wrote.....I think you have a wonderful friend in her and that's pretty awesome...enjoy that but keep swimming South smile

Focused on the South, f'sure!
Winking
I was thinking perhaps 3 days is all I had to wait....but just got through a 4 day weekend and no Atom Sad......the weather is utterly gorgeous here - come on already!!! Actually its perfect weather for the next 2 weeks so it may seem smile And stuck indoors at work - grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
awwww I just got the sweetest text "I feel so bad that you have my germs, why don't you put your feet up and relax"...pffftttt!!!! He had all weekend to look after me but nup, not even an offer but yeah he feels bad - but feeling bad isn't enough....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Men!!!!
At least I offered to make chicken soup and yada yada...but no such luck....grrrrrrrr again!!!
"He had all weekend to look after me but nup, not even an offer "
After your offer of chicken soup and everything?!? Pfft... That boy obviously does not feel bad enough.
Is it starting to get better, or still getting worse?
Nah he doesnt - Im getting over it, oops him!! I really do deserve better so yeah...its time. This time Im walking (when I feel better LOL). I think 6 months (this Friday - OMG Friday the 13th I met him - must have been a sign I didn't see) is enough to have put into this r/ship...I think Im done.
oh the cold?? ummm...yeah its ok but its only in the early stages....we'll see *sigh*
Anyway almost bedtime. xx
p-p-paddling for chicken soup. . .
gem he DEFINITELY cares and I know he's scared.....Im just going to get on with my life and maybe one day he'll fit me in a little more than once or twice a week/fortnight...I can only hang onto that hope...in the meantime, Im keeping busy smile
Chatz - a truly vague Libra is best left alone. Sorry to be so blunt but if I look at myself, I think it's applicable.
Once or twice a week is not bad though!!
once or twice a week or fortnight and its only on his terms....over 6 months this has not changed...he's kept it this way all along....you'd think there'd be an improvement over time.
I dont think he's vague, he's just very elusive and spends most of his nights sitting at home along....sad but obviously he thinks that's better than giving me more of his time so yes, you're right, he's best left alone. He knows where I am.
along = alone
And blunt??? I need blunt....my eyes are opening up slowly LOL
Then get out before you get scarred and as a result you change emotionally. Be a little selfish. He is...
"Once or twice a week is not bad though!!"
For a relationship?!? I am sorry, but I tend to prefer HP's non-broken Libra. Every damn day (and 10x on Sunday) is sooooo much more my style .
No, really...? I don't get it.
oh yes, 10x on Sunday.
mmmmmmmm
Umm, no. Six months of once or twice a fortnight is not OK.
nope and yes Im leaving him be...I give up and no Im not going to let Libra 2 in either.....Im now at the stage Libra 1 is....emotionally detached and just cant do it right now.
Thanks for all your help everybody...just trying to stay focussed on home/work, etc....lets face it, Ive let those aspects of my life take 2nd place for somebody who never appreciated it....up and on Tongue
Proud of you, Chatz.

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