Platonic Friendship With Ex Or Just Another FWB
This topic was created in the Libra forum by PiecesOf Pisces on Saturday, June 28, 2008 and has 6 replies.
Hey Venutians 
I figured the Libra board would be the best and most obvious place to post my question.
My Libra ex and I have finally decided to be friends. I say "finally" in the context that I, more than him, didn't want to be b/c of fear he hasn't lost his attraction to me therefore making it impossible to develop a friend with benefit-free friendship. So as Libras, and knowing your flirtatious ways lol, do you think that you could have a strictly platonic friendship with an ex you're still attracted to?
I figured the Libra board would be the best and most obvious place to post my question.My Libra ex and I have finally decided to be friends. I say "finally" in the context that I, more than him, didn't want to be b/c of fear he hasn't lost his attraction to me therefore making it impossible to develop a friend with benefit-free friendship. So as Libras, and knowing your flirtatious ways lol, do you think that you could have a strictly platonic friendship with an ex you're still attracted to?
My Libra ex refused to keep in contact/remain friends after a year of what I understand now was only a FWB situation to him (but of course I wanted more). He said "it'd be hard to go back to being friends after our past" and "I dont want to keep hurting you"....so it would seem he either:
a) wouldn't have been able to control himself
b) Never considered me a friend in the first place
c) Felt more than he let on
d) Couldnt stand me
LOL
The only advice I can give: Let it go, if he truly cared and wants to be your friend, he'll come back "in time"...this could be weeks, months or even years but from all accounts they always do come back eventually. When you least expect it (normally when you've moved on with somebody else) LOL
a) wouldn't have been able to control himself
b) Never considered me a friend in the first place
c) Felt more than he let on
d) Couldnt stand me
LOL
The only advice I can give: Let it go, if he truly cared and wants to be your friend, he'll come back "in time"...this could be weeks, months or even years but from all accounts they always do come back eventually. When you least expect it (normally when you've moved on with somebody else) LOL
"IMO, platonic male-female friendships depend on how mature the male-female are."
Hi Virgo-Libra
I couldn't agree more. We're both mature, I just think sometimes he sees not being sexually involved with me anymore as a challenge. After reading alot of other posts about how "Libras like a challenge" it makes me wonder if that is why he wants to be friends in the 1st place. Oh well...
"The only advice I can give: Let it go, if he truly cared and wants to be your friend, he'll come back "in time"...this could be weeks, months or even years but from all accounts they always do come back eventually. When you least expect it (normally when you've moved on with somebody else) LOL"
Hey Chatz
Well we're already in friendship mode so it's not like he ever left. However I do agree with that same scenario in a sense bc he's done it so many times! Its like he goes away to recuperate his feelings or regenerate them and then he wants me again. This why I didn't want to be friends. But When I think of our relationship without the emotions, I feel like being friends couldn't be THAT bad. We usually have a great time when we're just chilling and talking. It's when he flirts that it makes my head cock to the side LOL
Hi Virgo-Libra
I couldn't agree more. We're both mature, I just think sometimes he sees not being sexually involved with me anymore as a challenge. After reading alot of other posts about how "Libras like a challenge" it makes me wonder if that is why he wants to be friends in the 1st place. Oh well...
"The only advice I can give: Let it go, if he truly cared and wants to be your friend, he'll come back "in time"...this could be weeks, months or even years but from all accounts they always do come back eventually. When you least expect it (normally when you've moved on with somebody else) LOL"
Hey Chatz
Well we're already in friendship mode so it's not like he ever left. However I do agree with that same scenario in a sense bc he's done it so many times! Its like he goes away to recuperate his feelings or regenerate them and then he wants me again. This why I didn't want to be friends. But When I think of our relationship without the emotions, I feel like being friends couldn't be THAT bad. We usually have a great time when we're just chilling and talking. It's when he flirts that it makes my head cock to the side LOL
My libra and I were friends for 2 years after we broke up the first time. But.......we remained friends via email only the entire time due to his and my traveling schedule not being compatible. It was hard to accept the first few weeks after the break-up but I met someone new and THAT was the catalyst for helping me "move on". But my ex and I never talked to one another about new gf or bf to each other during that 2 year time off. Being respectful not to hurt one another. Not seeing one another in person helped too because we both still had an attraction for one another.
Then after that 2 year break HE made it very clear he was still romantically interested and began flirting like crazy. I ignored him for 8-9 months when he did because i figured he must be going thru some kind of break up and was looking for someone on his rebound. IT WASN'T GOING TO BE ME !!! The more I ignored his flirtations, I think you are right, it seemed more of a challenge and when he finally got the chance to see me in person the 2nd year apart he just blurted out he wanted a committed/exclusive relationship with me again and wanted me back.
In short, I finally fell for it and we got back together only to have him chronically disappear and when I caught on he was just trying to make a FWB arrangement I ended it. He begged to have another chance and swore it would be better. After two weeks it was the same. His rudeness and lack of consideration has really turned me OFF romantically towards him.
Once again I have put him back in the FRIENDS ONLY category and he can flirt all he wants to try to get me back but he's ruined the trust for me with him it won't work. I think he'll always have an attraction for me and want something more. Men usually always want what they can't have. But he'll be ok with being friends simply because one of us (ME) isn't willing to fall for his bs (ie: charm) any more. The chemistry has changed in that way.
He's a nice guy and I enjoy talking to him and hanging out and yes I'm attracted to him still but he makes for a lousy bf. So he is going to have to accept being Friends. Afterall, if I can all the things I do like about him without the sex or the romance, why not? We were friends before and we're emotionally mature enough to go back to being friends again. Why have ill will? Will HE accept it when I have a new bf? This time around...probably not. I expect he'll do the libra thing and vanish again.
Then after that 2 year break HE made it very clear he was still romantically interested and began flirting like crazy. I ignored him for 8-9 months when he did because i figured he must be going thru some kind of break up and was looking for someone on his rebound. IT WASN'T GOING TO BE ME !!! The more I ignored his flirtations, I think you are right, it seemed more of a challenge and when he finally got the chance to see me in person the 2nd year apart he just blurted out he wanted a committed/exclusive relationship with me again and wanted me back.
In short, I finally fell for it and we got back together only to have him chronically disappear and when I caught on he was just trying to make a FWB arrangement I ended it. He begged to have another chance and swore it would be better. After two weeks it was the same. His rudeness and lack of consideration has really turned me OFF romantically towards him.
Once again I have put him back in the FRIENDS ONLY category and he can flirt all he wants to try to get me back but he's ruined the trust for me with him it won't work. I think he'll always have an attraction for me and want something more. Men usually always want what they can't have. But he'll be ok with being friends simply because one of us (ME) isn't willing to fall for his bs (ie: charm) any more. The chemistry has changed in that way.
He's a nice guy and I enjoy talking to him and hanging out and yes I'm attracted to him still but he makes for a lousy bf. So he is going to have to accept being Friends. Afterall, if I can all the things I do like about him without the sex or the romance, why not? We were friends before and we're emotionally mature enough to go back to being friends again. Why have ill will? Will HE accept it when I have a new bf? This time around...probably not. I expect he'll do the libra thing and vanish again.
Wow great story Temple .....*gives high five* Way to handle the situation.
There is a libra I played with for a while earlier this summer and soon to find he was leaving our fun to go back to his ex. The sex was amazing and his charm is so inticing .....but here he comes again ....looking for the rebound girl ......n it ain't going to be me either. I am astonished that Libra men have this characteristic ....as if we sit around waiting for them to come along again. The nerve. I am glad I read this post.
Thank you,
PD
There is a libra I played with for a while earlier this summer and soon to find he was leaving our fun to go back to his ex. The sex was amazing and his charm is so inticing .....but here he comes again ....looking for the rebound girl ......n it ain't going to be me either. I am astonished that Libra men have this characteristic ....as if we sit around waiting for them to come along again. The nerve. I am glad I read this post.
Thank you,
PD
"He's a nice guy and I enjoy talking to him and hanging out and yes I'm attracted to him still but he makes for a lousy bf. So he is going to have to accept being Friends. Afterall, if I can all the things I do like about him without the sex or the romance, why not? We were friends before and we're emotionally mature enough to go back to being friends again. Why have ill will? Will HE accept it when I have a new bf? This time around...probably not. I expect he'll do the libra thing and vanish again."
Temple that is SOOOOOOO friggin true! More power. Why oh why do they do the vanishing act sooo much? Does it mean in order for them to stay they have to be treated like crap? I read somewhere that Librans are attracted to rebelliousness and rudeness LOL. Anyway Temple thank you for speaking out on your experience, it's helped me prepare! One question though, do you think if you had never dated you would've never really moved on and kept on with the FWB?
PD and Temple, I think they go back and forth b/c they see how great things can be with both choices, what they don't know is that it's selfish. Like I've asked in a previous post, "do Librans balance for themselves or others?" I still think it's for themselves LOL
I just want to be friends with no more drama, I really still enjoy his company but he's stepped all over my hopes for us romantically with his wishy washy ways that I just rather be friends and not let his decisions be about us anymore, and let him worry only about his own decisions.
Temple that is SOOOOOOO friggin true! More power. Why oh why do they do the vanishing act sooo much? Does it mean in order for them to stay they have to be treated like crap? I read somewhere that Librans are attracted to rebelliousness and rudeness LOL. Anyway Temple thank you for speaking out on your experience, it's helped me prepare! One question though, do you think if you had never dated you would've never really moved on and kept on with the FWB?
PD and Temple, I think they go back and forth b/c they see how great things can be with both choices, what they don't know is that it's selfish. Like I've asked in a previous post, "do Librans balance for themselves or others?" I still think it's for themselves LOL
I just want to be friends with no more drama, I really still enjoy his company but he's stepped all over my hopes for us romantically with his wishy washy ways that I just rather be friends and not let his decisions be about us anymore, and let him worry only about his own decisions.
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