Problem with a libra man

This topic was created in the Libra forum by Creamcheese113 on Friday, September 8, 2023 and has 22 replies.
hello everyone,

I am a cancer woman (moon in Leo) and I have met a wonderful man back in May. It was love at first sight for both of us and we couldn't stay apart. Right after we met, he had to travel to Brazil for 3 weeks (he is brazilian). We started to talk everyday and both of us had the same feeling: it feels so natural between us. We both live in France and we decided to meet in Italy to spend the Week end there.

We had a wonderful weekend but I found him a bit different, slightly more distant.

Right after we came back, he became more and more distant and he told me he was not ready to commit and did not want to lose me.

We kept seeing each other several times a week and texted every day but mid-July, he went on holidays with his friend and did not text me. When he came back, he told me he really missed me and he really likes me but cannot be in a relationship at the moment. On the side note he is going through a divorce.

He then went three weeks in Portugal to visit family and we barely texted and when he came back, we had a huge argument and he told me the same thing, he loves me in many ways, I am really important to him but he cannot be in a relationship at the moment. He then confessed that the reason why he was confused when he came back from Brazil is that he me a woman there and although nothing really happened, the fact that he felt something strong for her made him doubt he was ready for a relationship...

His schedule is also hectic until end of December and that's also one of the reason he said he want a bit more distance. Being away from me from mid-september to November (includind 3 weeks in Brazil for work) and going back 4 weeks in Brazil as usual in December.

We are planning to meet up and text each other but I am really worried because I feel like he really hesitates between me and her although he told me that she is dating someone and that they only talk from time to time on Instagram... He doesn't deny the fact that he won't see her while there but then again, we are not in a relationship...

I can tell that I am in love with him and I think he kind of love me but is not ready and confused... I feel like I need to wait and have my life until November and from there see where he stands...

He kept telling me that a relationship with her was out of question because she lives way too far but what he feels for her was enough to question us... Even though we barely knew each other at that time...

He is not a liar for sure and tends to be brutally honest... He told me for now he can't be in a relationship and it may change but not now... On my side I am a very independant woman, I naturally give a lot of space to the men I m dating and I m not really the clingy type... As I told him, I also doubt he is ready and that's the reason why I am not sure I would love to be in a relationship with him right now... Not while he his travelling 3 months on 4...

Then there is the divorce question that is a huge question mark in his life as she doesn't want to divorce plus he is changing his job... Lots of thing going on at the moment in his life

Not sure what to do... not sure if this woman is a real threat...
Why does he keep telling you he doesn't want a relationship? Are you asking him for one all of those times and that's why? If so, stop it. You say he's going through a divorce but she doesn't want it. How do you know he's actually going through a divorce? Have you seen the documents. It's doubtful that Libra will ever enter a relationship with you if he hasn't by now. Libras know right away if they want to be with someone or not and this guy seems to be playing. At least he isn't leading you on and told you he doesn't want a relationship so hanging around waiting on him is up to you. Yes that other woman is very much a threat.
Posted by DonnaLibra
Why does he keep telling you he doesn't want a relationship? Are you asking him for one all of those times and that's why? If so, stop it. You say he's going through a divorce but she doesn't want it. How do you know he's actually going through a divorce? Have you seen the documents. It's doubtful that Libra will ever enter a relationship with you if he hasn't by now. Libras know right away if they want to be with someone or not and this guy seems to be playing. At least he isn't leading you on and told you he doesn't want a relationship so hanging around waiting on him is up to you. Yes that other woman is very much a threat.
No he told me that twice and I never asked for a relationship... Why do you say she is a threat?
Posted by DonnaLibra
Why does he keep telling you he doesn't want a relationship? Are you asking him for one all of those times and that's why? If so, stop it. You say he's going through a divorce but she doesn't want it. How do you know he's actually going through a divorce? Have you seen the documents. It's doubtful that Libra will ever enter a relationship with you if he hasn't by now. Libras know right away if they want to be with someone or not and this guy seems to be playing. At least he isn't leading you on and told you he doesn't want a relationship so hanging around waiting on him is up to you. Yes that other woman is very much a threat.
I know he is divorcing because he asked me for a lawyer and my best friend is dealing with the case...
-it’s kinda admirable that this libra guy was honest with you about having met someone else and not knowing what to do at the moment. many people would hide things like that.

-all you can really do now is wait it out. he is going through a divorce plus a change of employment.

-no one can ever be a threat and take anything from you that’s meant to be yours. you can be up against the most beautiful, smart, kind hearted woman but if he wants to choose you and is meant to choose you over her, he will. and if he doesn’t choose you, then that just means god has someone better for you. someone who will be more aligned with you.

you also don’t know what will happen with her (the other woman) and the person she’s dating.

-as you can see, many things have to first fall into place before any relationship between you and him can happen.

Posted by serenidad
-it’s kinda admirable that this libra guy was honest with you about having met someone else and not knowing what to do at the moment. many people would hide things like that.
-all you can really do now is wait it out. he is going through a divorce plus a change of employment.
-no one can ever be a threat and take anything from you that’s meant to be yours. you can be up against the most beautiful, smart, kind hearted woman but if he wants to choose you and is meant to choose you over her, he will. and if he doesn’t choose you, then that just means god has someone better for you. someone who will be more aligned with you.
you also don’t know what will happen with her (the other woman) and the person she’s dating.
-as you can see, many things have to first fall into place before any relationship between you and him can happen.

Thank you for your answer... I feel the same thing: he has to sort many things out....
Posted by Creamcheese113
Posted by DonnaLibra
Why does he keep telling you he doesn't want a relationship? Are you asking him for one all of those times and that's why? If so, stop it. You say he's going through a divorce but she doesn't want it. How do you know he's actually going through a divorce? Have you seen the documents. It's doubtful that Libra will ever enter a relationship with you if he hasn't by now. Libras know right away if they want to be with someone or not and this guy seems to be playing. At least he isn't leading you on and told you he doesn't want a relationship so hanging around waiting on him is up to you. Yes that other woman is very much a threat.


No he told me that twice and I never asked for a relationship... Why do you say she is a threat?
click to expand


Because he told you he had strong feelings for the girl he met in Brazil. More than likely they are still communicating. If he was with you, yet could go to Brazil and fall for someone else so fast says his connection to you is not that strong. IMHO.

Posted by Creamcheese113
Posted by DonnaLibra
Why does he keep telling you he doesn't want a relationship? Are you asking him for one all of those times and that's why? If so, stop it. You say he's going through a divorce but she doesn't want it. How do you know he's actually going through a divorce? Have you seen the documents. It's doubtful that Libra will ever enter a relationship with you if he hasn't by now. Libras know right away if they want to be with someone or not and this guy seems to be playing. At least he isn't leading you on and told you he doesn't want a relationship so hanging around waiting on him is up to you. Yes that other woman is very much a threat.


No he told me that twice and I never asked for a relationship... Why do you say she is a threat?
click to expand
Well the next time he tells you he doesn't want a relationship tell him, "Okay, but I never asked you for one so why do you keep telling me that?"
Posted by DonnaLibra
Posted by Creamcheese113
Posted by DonnaLibra
Why does he keep telling you he doesn't want a relationship? Are you asking him for one all of those times and that's why? If so, stop it. You say he's going through a divorce but she doesn't want it. How do you know he's actually going through a divorce? Have you seen the documents. It's doubtful that Libra will ever enter a relationship with you if he hasn't by now. Libras know right away if they want to be with someone or not and this guy seems to be playing. At least he isn't leading you on and told you he doesn't want a relationship so hanging around waiting on him is up to you. Yes that other woman is very much a threat.


No he told me that twice and I never asked for a relationship... Why do you say she is a threat?
click to expand


Because he told you e had strong feelings for the girl he met in Brazil. More than likely they are still communicating. If he was with you, yet could go to Brazil and fall for someone else so fast says his connection to you is not that strong. IMHO.

click to expand


Actually we were not together, we had known each other for 2 weeks max at the time… he told me he is still talking to her on insta from time to time
Posted by Creamcheese113
Posted by DonnaLibra
Why does he keep telling you he doesn't want a relationship? Are you asking him for one all of those times and that's why? If so, stop it. You say he's going through a divorce but she doesn't want it. How do you know he's actually going through a divorce? Have you seen the documents. It's doubtful that Libra will ever enter a relationship with you if he hasn't by now. Libras know right away if they want to be with someone or not and this guy seems to be playing. At least he isn't leading you on and told you he doesn't want a relationship so hanging around waiting on him is up to you. Yes that other woman is very much a threat.


I know he is divorcing because he asked me for a lawyer and my best friend is dealing with the case...
click to expand


Why is the divorce a big question mark in his mind and she doesn't want a divorce? Yet he's already filed the paperwork to divorce? Why is your best friend dealing with the divorce instead of handling the divorce?

dude's already rejected you twice... unprovoked

things aren't looking good imo
Posted by Creamcheese113
Posted by DonnaLibra
Posted by Creamcheese113
Posted by DonnaLibra
Why does he keep telling you he doesn't want a relationship? Are you asking him for one all of those times and that's why? If so, stop it. You say he's going through a divorce but she doesn't want it. How do you know he's actually going through a divorce? Have you seen the documents. It's doubtful that Libra will ever enter a relationship with you if he hasn't by now. Libras know right away if they want to be with someone or not and this guy seems to be playing. At least he isn't leading you on and told you he doesn't want a relationship so hanging around waiting on him is up to you. Yes that other woman is very much a threat.


No he told me that twice and I never asked for a relationship... Why do you say she is a threat?
click to expand


Because he told you e had strong feelings for the girl he met in Brazil. More than likely they are still communicating. If he was with you, yet could go to Brazil and fall for someone else so fast says his connection to you is not that strong. IMHO.
click to expand


Actually we were not together, we had known each other for 2 weeks max at the time… he told me he is still talking to her on insta from time to time
click to expand


But at first you said it was "love at first sight" for both of you. Well not for him if he went to Brazil and quickly fell for someone else..

Yes probably not… but I have difficulties to reject him
You have to stand up to Libra men or they will run over you. Don't make him think you can't be without him or he'll use it to his advantage and continue to keep you in a holding block.
Posted by DonnaLibra
You have to stand up to Libra men or they will run over you. Don't make him think you can't be without him or he'll use it to his advantage and continue to keep you in a holding block.
Thanks

Well I told I didn’t want a relationship and he pulled a face… Now I need to stand up for myself a bit more
Take him with a grain of salt.

Sounds like he wanna be a hoe.

You gots to let people be hoes.

Don’t fight them.
Posted by Creamcheese113
Posted by DonnaLibra
You have to stand up to Libra men or they will run over you. Don't make him think you can't be without him or he'll use it to his advantage and continue to keep you in a holding block.


Thanks
Well I told I didn’t want a relationship and he pulled a face… Now I need to stand up for myself a bit more
click to expand
Look if you just want to be this guys f-buddy or FWB that's fine. He isn't offering you anything. Men who are newly separated or divorced don't want to be locked down again. They want to play so don't be afraid to be clear with him about what you want and if he can't give it, bounce.
You always have to go by what you want. If you want a relationship and he’s not willing to offer that, then kiss him good bye. Yes, your feelings are involved but take it as a blessing that it happened now rather than much later.

Now, time for an astrological insult, this is standard Libra and Cancer quixotic approach to love: come on quick and strong and then fizzle out just as fast.”It was love at first sight for both of us and we couldn't stay apart. Right after we met, he had to travel to Brazil for 3 weeks (he is brazilian). We started to talk everyday and both of us had the same feeling: it feels so natural between us. We both live in France and we decided to meet in Italy to spend the Week end there.” Your words quoted.

Perhaps pace yourself next time especially when dealing with another fantasist sign.
Posted by aquarius09
You always have to go by what you want. If you want a relationship and he’s not willing to offer that, then kiss him good bye. Yes, your feelings are involved but take it as a blessing that it happened now rather than much later.



Now, time for an astrological insult, this is standard Libra and Cancer quixotic approach to love: come on quick and strong and then fizzle out just as fast.”It was love at first sight for both of us and we couldn't stay apart. Right after we met, he had to travel to Brazil for 3 weeks (he is brazilian). We started to talk everyday and both of us had the same feeling: it feels so natural between us. We both live in France and we decided to meet in Italy to spend the Week end there.” Your words quoted.



Perhaps pace yourself next time especially when dealing with another fantasist sign.
Thank you for your message…

We both rushed into something and I believed him… After that I thought he needed more time because I haven’t met a man in years that I actually like

It killed me when he said he met someone else because I realized that during this WE in Italy he already knew he wanted nothing with me and he was thinking about someone else while I was on cloud 9 thinking that I finally met someone special…

Now I feel incredibly stupid and to be honest I don’t think I want to meet anyone or have a family… it’s too hard and heartbreaking… yea I was silly as sone of you pointed out but it’s my dream to have someone in my life but I think it’s stupid now,maybe I am meant to remain single and alone all my life

Posted by Creamcheese113
Posted by aquarius09
You always have to go by what you want. If you want a relationship and he’s not willing to offer that, then kiss him good bye. Yes, your feelings are involved but take it as a blessing that it happened now rather than much later.




Now, time for an astrological insult, this is standard Libra and Cancer quixotic approach to love: come on quick and strong and then fizzle out just as fast.”It was love at first sight for both of us and we couldn't stay apart. Right after we met, he had to travel to Brazil for 3 weeks (he is brazilian). We started to talk everyday and both of us had the same feeling: it feels so natural between us. We both live in France and we decided to meet in Italy to spend the Week end there.” Your words quoted.




Perhaps pace yourself next time especially when dealing with another fantasist sign.





Thank you for your message…



We both rushed into something and I believed him… After that I thought he needed more time because I haven’t met a man in years that I actually like



It killed me when he said he met someone else because I realized that during this WE in Italy he already knew he wanted nothing with me and he was thinking about someone else while I was on cloud 9 thinking that I finally met someone special…



Now I feel incredibly stupid and to be honest I don’t think I want to meet anyone or have a family… it’s too hard and heartbreaking… yea I was silly as sone of you pointed out but it’s my dream to have someone in my life but I think it’s stupid now,maybe I am meant to remain single and alone all my life



click to expand
Reserve the cloud nine feeling if someone is consistent and present within the 6 month mark. People who come on strong at the very beginning have issues (lovebombing, thinking they found the one etc) and biggest red flag ever. You see, they don’t know you and you don’t know them, so how is it love? At best it is lust at first sight. People have to know you to like traitd about you l, and if they do, they will stick around and only then will it lead to love.

Stop that ‘woe is me’ Cancerian nonsense. Let this be a learning lesson, not a deterrence from finding love. As I said before, stay calm, composed and pace yourself next time especially in the first six months where you are getting to know someone.
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Creamcheese113
Posted by aquarius09
You always have to go by what you want. If you want a relationship and he’s not willing to offer that, then kiss him good bye. Yes, your feelings are involved but take it as a blessing that it happened now rather than much later.





Now, time for an astrological insult, this is standard Libra and Cancer quixotic approach to love: come on quick and strong and then fizzle out just as fast.”It was love at first sight for both of us and we couldn't stay apart. Right after we met, he had to travel to Brazil for 3 weeks (he is brazilian). We started to talk everyday and both of us had the same feeling: it feels so natural between us. We both live in France and we decided to meet in Italy to spend the Week end there.” Your words quoted.





Perhaps pace yourself next time especially when dealing with another fantasist sign.





Thank you for your message…




We both rushed into something and I believed him… After that I thought he needed more time because I haven’t met a man in years that I actually like




It killed me when he said he met someone else because I realized that during this WE in Italy he already knew he wanted nothing with me and he was thinking about someone else while I was on cloud 9 thinking that I finally met someone special…




Now I feel incredibly stupid and to be honest I don’t think I want to meet anyone or have a family… it’s too hard and heartbreaking… yea I was silly as sone of you pointed out but it’s my dream to have someone in my life but I think it’s stupid now,maybe I am meant to remain single and alone all my life









Reserve the cloud nine feeling if someone is consistent and present within the 6 month mark. People who come on strong at the very beginning have issues (lovebombing, thinking they found the one etc) and biggest red flag ever. You see, they don’t know you and you don’t know them, so how is it love? At best it is lust at first sight. People have to know you to like traitd about you l, and if they do, they will stick around and only then will it lead to love.



Stop that ‘woe is me’ Cancerian nonsense. Let this be a learning lesson, not a deterrence from finding love. As I said before, stay calm, composed and pace yourself next time especially in the first six months where you are getting to know someone.
click to expand
Thank you for your words… I remembered thinking he went too fast, planning to help me move out to my new flat the day we met, writting 50 messages a day, telling me he never met someone he liked so much si ce his divorce and now, I realized that 2 weeks after, he met someone else and felt the same way… still talking to her on a daily basis because it is a fantasy I guess and it has to be consumed (they haven’t slept together)…

This is definitely a good lesson because I was way too naive and I stay there hoping he would want something more…

He is leaving on Wednesday for a 2 months trip (including 3 weeks in Brazil) so I guess he will see her and I will take this opportunity to say goodbye



Dealing with a Libra man can sometimes present challenges due to their innate desire for balance and harmony in all aspects of life. These individuals often find decision-making a bit challenging as they weigh all options meticulously, which might come across as indecisiveness. Patience is key when navigating a relationship with a Libra man.