Question to LIBRAS...on the love/hate affair
This topic was created in the Libra forum by spendaholic on Monday, April 27, 2009 and has 14 replies.
How much patience does one need. Seriously. How does a Libra and Libra work out when they are both so slow at getting things started together. EEK
So fed up. I'm an Aries btw.
Question Libras...
Clearly once we had sex it all kinda went wishy washy... or complicated. If something is sitting on my mind, is it best to talk to them about it, or leave it alone and wait it out?
I'm a little fed up he asks when he's going to see me, I suggest to hang out doing some fun sporting thing and he makes up the darnest excuses to come. We kinda got into an arguement. I said I don't care if he calls me no more. He asked in a sad way.. "you don't care? .. so you don't want me to call you anymore?" I said "whatever.. I gotta go."
What to do... WHAT to do. Or what's HE thinking period!!!!!
So fed up. I'm an Aries btw.
Question Libras...
Clearly once we had sex it all kinda went wishy washy... or complicated. If something is sitting on my mind, is it best to talk to them about it, or leave it alone and wait it out?
I'm a little fed up he asks when he's going to see me, I suggest to hang out doing some fun sporting thing and he makes up the darnest excuses to come. We kinda got into an arguement. I said I don't care if he calls me no more. He asked in a sad way.. "you don't care? .. so you don't want me to call you anymore?" I said "whatever.. I gotta go."
What to do... WHAT to do. Or what's HE thinking period!!!!!
you know what? I've read heaps on this forum... some girls are patient and wait it out. some send 10000 txt and msn and email messages. And everyone is still sooo damn confused over these guys. Obviously, none of these games are working and they never will. If he wants you, he'll want you for who you are. not because you were subtle and non-confronting! If he doesn't like you for who you are then it's not worth your time. No one can keep a sharade up for long.
Just ask him to his face. no hiding behind txts or a computer screen or a telephone. confront him. Libra can ignore the phone or a txt. But usually when you speak directly to them, they wont walk away, they'll stand their ground. They're not as fragile as you think they are. Everyone says Librans hate confrontation. maybe they do, but atleast you'll get a reaction. I'm leo, i hate being ignored, but it makes me work harder for the attention when i am. same principal.
Just ask him to his face. no hiding behind txts or a computer screen or a telephone. confront him. Libra can ignore the phone or a txt. But usually when you speak directly to them, they wont walk away, they'll stand their ground. They're not as fragile as you think they are. Everyone says Librans hate confrontation. maybe they do, but atleast you'll get a reaction. I'm leo, i hate being ignored, but it makes me work harder for the attention when i am. same principal.
The problem is with men & women is that you dont speak the same language. It's not a star sign thing at all.
You suggest some fun sporting thing and he tries to back out... I would too mostly, it's probably not something he is interested in so therefore it doesn't appeal. DO you have anything in common...go with that. It's about geting to know each other and doing the things you BOTH like together. Not just something you like the sounds of. Many times I see women dragging their spouses out shopping and they really DONT look like they are having fun. In fact I bet neither end up having a good time!
@somechick,
no we dont like being confronted about personal feelings etc but I would think that is because it's at a point where we haven't made up our minds on it. From what I've seen here you girls are wanting to know how these guys feel about you after they have been going out for a month or two and pushing for clarification of an exclusive relationship! Try not having sex with them til you get what you want!
If however it is talking about something that has come up within your realtionship then pre-warn about the topic first and give a little time so they can digest it and have some answers. I think it's being put on the spot that makes us feel like we are being cornered.
And to be honest I think I'd run from another Libra as I've worked hard on myself and making snap decisions esp on the small stuff because I found it all too frustrating!! lol
You suggest some fun sporting thing and he tries to back out... I would too mostly, it's probably not something he is interested in so therefore it doesn't appeal. DO you have anything in common...go with that. It's about geting to know each other and doing the things you BOTH like together. Not just something you like the sounds of. Many times I see women dragging their spouses out shopping and they really DONT look like they are having fun. In fact I bet neither end up having a good time!
@somechick,
no we dont like being confronted about personal feelings etc but I would think that is because it's at a point where we haven't made up our minds on it. From what I've seen here you girls are wanting to know how these guys feel about you after they have been going out for a month or two and pushing for clarification of an exclusive relationship! Try not having sex with them til you get what you want!
If however it is talking about something that has come up within your realtionship then pre-warn about the topic first and give a little time so they can digest it and have some answers. I think it's being put on the spot that makes us feel like we are being cornered.
And to be honest I think I'd run from another Libra as I've worked hard on myself and making snap decisions esp on the small stuff because I found it all too frustrating!! lol
k.. I've made posts about him before.
He and I have known each other for a year, as friends. But he's always been after me whereas I wasn't. Until couple months ago. We've only done it twice... he's always the one to call not I. I have learned to be patient, at some points I just let it be. When we get into some spat of a dissagreement, he does get off the phone quick. Like I can call him he will pick up or call back. If I call he calls right back b/c he seems to think I get mad when he doesn't call back, he said to me, so he calls back. We don't live too close..a bit of a drive and he wants to hang out at his house but we can't when his parents are up so when I'm there it's alraedy late and makes me feels like it's the "wrong' type of thing. Am I overreacting?
He and I have known each other for a year, as friends. But he's always been after me whereas I wasn't. Until couple months ago. We've only done it twice... he's always the one to call not I. I have learned to be patient, at some points I just let it be. When we get into some spat of a dissagreement, he does get off the phone quick. Like I can call him he will pick up or call back. If I call he calls right back b/c he seems to think I get mad when he doesn't call back, he said to me, so he calls back. We don't live too close..a bit of a drive and he wants to hang out at his house but we can't when his parents are up so when I'm there it's alraedy late and makes me feels like it's the "wrong' type of thing. Am I overreacting?
maybebkehbdksahbdka
itasaskdasd
bestas,dnca,sk
toasdcman
playa,sdc,sjn
alongakdcahdakli
noa,sdjnca,w
matterzcj,ashkclaw
howmzdsn,asd
frustratingawjcelewjc
ita,ncda,
getsa.jlsc .aklsac
(do u see what i mean?)
[quote]
f he wants you, he'll want you for who you are. not because you were subtle and non-confronting! If he doesn't like you for who you are then it's not worth your time. No one can keep a sharade up for long.[/quote]
And this is a big YES from me!
He bides his time because he doesnt want to make relationships the focus of his life now.
itasaskdasd
bestas,dnca,sk
toasdcman
playa,sdc,sjn
alongakdcahdakli
noa,sdjnca,w
matterzcj,ashkclaw
howmzdsn,asd
frustratingawjcelewjc
ita,ncda,
getsa.jlsc .aklsac
(do u see what i mean?)
[quote]
f he wants you, he'll want you for who you are. not because you were subtle and non-confronting! If he doesn't like you for who you are then it's not worth your time. No one can keep a sharade up for long.[/quote]
And this is a big YES from me!
He bides his time because he doesnt want to make relationships the focus of his life now.
IMO...
Libras are often heavily attracted tp Aries; but usually only in a physical sense. Libra's love strength and beauty; and Aries offers this - but it's usually only good for what its worth. (face value)
I've heard MANY Aries/Libra connections falling apart after sex. Mostly because that's all it is. Aries and Libra are direct opposites astro-speaking.... The attraction fades (ie: gets old to the Libra) and Aries often gets annoyed by Libra's finicky ways.. they rarely stay together.
Also... a Libra man is at his best when his attention is 100% devoted to you, and you only. Any other way (unless you are a stronger less dependant sign) is going to drive you nuts.
Check out the rest of this board... Libra men can drive a girl crazy. (sometimes it's not so sweet when looking behind all those good looks and charm!)
Libras are often heavily attracted tp Aries; but usually only in a physical sense. Libra's love strength and beauty; and Aries offers this - but it's usually only good for what its worth. (face value)
I've heard MANY Aries/Libra connections falling apart after sex. Mostly because that's all it is. Aries and Libra are direct opposites astro-speaking.... The attraction fades (ie: gets old to the Libra) and Aries often gets annoyed by Libra's finicky ways.. they rarely stay together.
Also... a Libra man is at his best when his attention is 100% devoted to you, and you only. Any other way (unless you are a stronger less dependant sign) is going to drive you nuts.
Check out the rest of this board... Libra men can drive a girl crazy. (sometimes it's not so sweet when looking behind all those good looks and charm!)
So you're telling me now that we've slept together that's it? Isn't that every guy? He is focused on school right now and had told me long time ago that would be his focus.
So tell me, dfor you as a Libra, how does the attraction not fade for you? Like what would you do if you made plans with a guy a to do something fun during the day and he never answers you back, then hours later calls to give you whatever reason why he coudln't come out.
Like what do LIBRA women/men do in situations post sex. If the other person doesn't call you for a while, do you always wait? Should I be less independent? Like what do Libra want in their partner?
And are you telling me, after being friends with a guy for a year.. being so unbelievable attracted to him and one night it went a little too far.. ok 2 nights..
Someone Libra tell me, how have you reacted or acted post sex. Like what is a relation with a person after you've done that.
He's still calling me, and wants to hang out. Like one day he called me 4 times in 1 day while he was out to some family event thing. Then asks when he'll see me next and I suggest something and he ok'd it.. then flaked.
like W. T. F. ??
So tell me, dfor you as a Libra, how does the attraction not fade for you? Like what would you do if you made plans with a guy a to do something fun during the day and he never answers you back, then hours later calls to give you whatever reason why he coudln't come out.
Like what do LIBRA women/men do in situations post sex. If the other person doesn't call you for a while, do you always wait? Should I be less independent? Like what do Libra want in their partner?
And are you telling me, after being friends with a guy for a year.. being so unbelievable attracted to him and one night it went a little too far.. ok 2 nights..
Someone Libra tell me, how have you reacted or acted post sex. Like what is a relation with a person after you've done that.
He's still calling me, and wants to hang out. Like one day he called me 4 times in 1 day while he was out to some family event thing. Then asks when he'll see me next and I suggest something and he ok'd it.. then flaked.
like W. T. F. ??
fyi... I did get a bit upset adn he noticed. it's been a week since we talked. Do I call or wait for him... Do I talk to him about it or do I let it go adn be as nothing next time we talk.
Spend.... I'll tell you what i learnt from my past Libras, cos yours seems to have similar behaviour. It's not going to be nice (just warning you in advance)you are going to do your head in over him. You can pretend like nothing happened, i know he probably will. And you can wait for him to call only to go through this whole circle of events and confusion over and over again the following week.
He doesn't want you on your terms, he wants you on his terms. He'll see you, when he says he will. Or when he sets the date. Never when you do. That's just the way they are. He wont get rid of you completely because a Libra man likes to keep his options open and have lots of them. They are very lonely and need to have someone there to fall on when they feel depressed or insecure. He will keep you as a back up. When a previous offer falls through...you're the next best thing. they hate making plans in advance, they just want you to be there in the middle of the night when they call you cos they have no one else.
I know this sounds really harsh, but from what i've gathered, that is just the way it works. It's their game and they set the rules which they can make or break as they go along, so you will never beat them at it. If a Libra man is 100% into you, then he will never leave you doubting the relationship. He will be there 24/7, he will want to keep you all to himself. He wont want to go anywhere unless you go with him and he wont want you going anywhere unless he can come along. He will make your relationship public so that everyone knows you are his.
The situation you are in is one of the most painfully frustrating and confusing things to deal with. It's not you, it's him...believe me. If you want to keep being patient then that is up to you, ask yourself how long you can wait, pencil it in on your calender. When the day comes and you see yourself still in the current situation, then cut the cord and move on. Or you'll be hanging there forever. I don't know what it is about them, but these ones are really hard to get over.
He doesn't want you on your terms, he wants you on his terms. He'll see you, when he says he will. Or when he sets the date. Never when you do. That's just the way they are. He wont get rid of you completely because a Libra man likes to keep his options open and have lots of them. They are very lonely and need to have someone there to fall on when they feel depressed or insecure. He will keep you as a back up. When a previous offer falls through...you're the next best thing. they hate making plans in advance, they just want you to be there in the middle of the night when they call you cos they have no one else.
I know this sounds really harsh, but from what i've gathered, that is just the way it works. It's their game and they set the rules which they can make or break as they go along, so you will never beat them at it. If a Libra man is 100% into you, then he will never leave you doubting the relationship. He will be there 24/7, he will want to keep you all to himself. He wont want to go anywhere unless you go with him and he wont want you going anywhere unless he can come along. He will make your relationship public so that everyone knows you are his.
The situation you are in is one of the most painfully frustrating and confusing things to deal with. It's not you, it's him...believe me. If you want to keep being patient then that is up to you, ask yourself how long you can wait, pencil it in on your calender. When the day comes and you see yourself still in the current situation, then cut the cord and move on. Or you'll be hanging there forever. I don't know what it is about them, but these ones are really hard to get over.
He was like that, until we had sex. Well I can't really say that because we had a fight a week later so it messed him up. Obviously since they hate arguements. When things run smoothly he's there, he calls, but I guess I get fed up. Like he's ok to hangout late at his house watching movies and making out till 3am but to do something during the day...no.
BUT I want to know HOW a *LIBRA WOMAN would handle this situation. I don't want to hear about how he is.. I want to know from a female Libra perspective what would YOU do if in this situation. What would be going through your mind. I know you Libras love to analyze things. (He told me this once too, he analyzes too much).
BUT I want to know HOW a *LIBRA WOMAN would handle this situation. I don't want to hear about how he is.. I want to know from a female Libra perspective what would YOU do if in this situation. What would be going through your mind. I know you Libras love to analyze things. (He told me this once too, he analyzes too much).
*female libra perspective:
I can't imagine myself liking an Aries male.
It blows over, and blows over too fast.
I didn't comment because I wouldn't even get there.
Libra likes it slow, aries likes it fast. its impossible to rush commitment.
"what resists persists"
works with everything in life, but is most like Libra's relationship philosophy.
We never let things run smoothly, and hate being controlled by Aries' immediate wants, demands, etc. for a long term relationship libra's not going to give in.
You're going to be very frustrated, unless he has immense respect for you.
sex doesnt make a relationship.
What libra needs is balance, which gives rise to serenity within. that is most important. they dont like stormy relationships, which is, inadvertently, what they create. oops, my bad. we attract what we most fear.
best advice? drop it like a hot coal. no point fretting.
I can't imagine myself liking an Aries male.
It blows over, and blows over too fast.
I didn't comment because I wouldn't even get there.
Libra likes it slow, aries likes it fast. its impossible to rush commitment.
"what resists persists"
works with everything in life, but is most like Libra's relationship philosophy.
We never let things run smoothly, and hate being controlled by Aries' immediate wants, demands, etc. for a long term relationship libra's not going to give in.
You're going to be very frustrated, unless he has immense respect for you.
sex doesnt make a relationship.
What libra needs is balance, which gives rise to serenity within. that is most important. they dont like stormy relationships, which is, inadvertently, what they create. oops, my bad. we attract what we most fear.
best advice? drop it like a hot coal. no point fretting.
Go back to the basics and make him chase you again, whatever made him chase after you in the beginning throw it back out there. Get him working for what he wants.
And stop with the arguements, I know you are frustrated with him because you aren't getting what you need but I bet he doesn't even know why or what these arguements are over. They are probably stupid little things which will eventually turn him off you. Some people think that the make up sex is the best thing, NOT Librans they would rather not have to go through arguing...it upsets our scales! And if it's constant then we will look for a way to escape!!!
And stop with the arguements, I know you are frustrated with him because you aren't getting what you need but I bet he doesn't even know why or what these arguements are over. They are probably stupid little things which will eventually turn him off you. Some people think that the make up sex is the best thing, NOT Librans they would rather not have to go through arguing...it upsets our scales! And if it's constant then we will look for a way to escape!!!
So I should wait for him to call me or should I? And just be as if nothing. Or is it too late?
They're usually over him making the plan and never cancelling it just it never happens. He avoids to "break" the news, but then apologizes next day... that type. But then again, I never call him. HE always calls me. It's just when I suggest something fun unless it's him and I hanging out alone.. then he's all over it. But we do talk about stuff when he calls. He asks about me.. about my friends.. just stuff. Talks about his friends.. his family.. when he;s mad t someone.. eh'll listen when I tell him my frustrations. I do know his school is his focus. He does have plans to achieve something sooo...
They're usually over him making the plan and never cancelling it just it never happens. He avoids to "break" the news, but then apologizes next day... that type. But then again, I never call him. HE always calls me. It's just when I suggest something fun unless it's him and I hanging out alone.. then he's all over it. But we do talk about stuff when he calls. He asks about me.. about my friends.. just stuff. Talks about his friends.. his family.. when he;s mad t someone.. eh'll listen when I tell him my frustrations. I do know his school is his focus. He does have plans to achieve something sooo...
Go on with your life as before you guys hooked up and stop waiting around for him period!
If he makes a plan with you, tell him that if he's still keen on whatever day it is he can call then and confirm. Sounds like he's lazy & boring if all he wants to do is hang out doing nothing... Do you want someone like that because he won't change!
The only good thing so far is that he actually talks and listens.
I think you should really assess whether you want to be with this guy or not...can you see yourself with him in 20 years and what sort of life can you see? Sometimes we can be blinded by what we think we want or having someone to love us so we feel more fulfilled.
If he makes a plan with you, tell him that if he's still keen on whatever day it is he can call then and confirm. Sounds like he's lazy & boring if all he wants to do is hang out doing nothing... Do you want someone like that because he won't change!
The only good thing so far is that he actually talks and listens.
I think you should really assess whether you want to be with this guy or not...can you see yourself with him in 20 years and what sort of life can you see? Sometimes we can be blinded by what we think we want or having someone to love us so we feel more fulfilled.
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