Read between the lines (Page 2)

"Recently he wanted not to have sex - He said he needed to do some soul searching and sex was the one thing he never had control over and wanted to try to see if he could have some control."

Given that we are not direct this is a way of saying 'Let's not have sex' but who knows why? It might be just in the moment given that he called after three days.

If you want him and you want to know where you stand, it is time to be more aloof than he is. Pull back, lose interest. Libra men are the type to pursue even in the face of rejection, so pulling back will not make you lose him if he wants you. (Unlike earth signs who will not come back if you tell them to go away.) In general he wants to be the pursuer so pulling back puts him in that position automatically...

Don't write him a letter unless you don't necessarily need a response, because you probably will not get one if he think the card is sticky. If you want answers then a chat is the way. Now you can either tell him you want to break up, then he can fight for you in the conversation (then you'll know). Or you make him answer questions to find out how HE feels.

I would not do any of this though. I would lay low for a bit...

Don't pull back with words or strong statements by the way, just pull back. Be mysterious...

Yep that works a treat...and above all, don't get all emotional!!!

So many people are saying contradicting things. HP74, you said you were going to have a direct talk with your Libra yesterday. Did you talk? Were you direct? What happened? I was wondering. He seems into you if he is calling a lot and sending flowers etc. What do you need from him?

I am afraid to have the direct talk and really don't know how to go about it. Some of you are saying, don't be direct be aloof and mysterious. Thelibran suggested direct questioning to get to the bottom of what is going on between us.

I already know he loves me, we have told each other that for years and he always initiates it first. When I saw him last week, he said it first while grabbing my hand. I said why? And he started spouting some stuff off about how he loves my hair, laugh, how much we have in common etc. Not stuff I wanted to hear. I was trying to get to the bottom of his feelings to see where we can go from here. This is not a new thing, we know each other well, but have NEVER talked about us. Talked about everything else under the sun... but when we start talking about us, we both get uncomfortable and change the subject quickly. I am tired of this. I've known him too long to lose his friendship, but he will pull away from me if he does not feel the same, but that would almost be better than me stressing about this everyday, all day. Then I can let go and when we reunite, we can just continue where we left off. He also has so many female options, I feel like I cannot compete from this distance, however, when we are around each other there is definitely chemistry. He does have a sex partner though, that he keeps telling me is just a friend nothing serious, but I know how Libras can be with their sex partners... addicted.

I love him but I can tell lately he has been saying things like..long distance relationships never work and he can tell I have controlling tendencies. I have 200 good qualities and he is searching hard for the two bad ones, I think he is trying to build a case against me, actually I know that's what he is doing. But he also KNOWS no one is going to love him like I do and no one knows him like I do. He may not realize it now, but he will one-day. That is what I am going to tell him (I think).

Talks no matter whatever way you plan, depends purely on your zodiac traits. A virgo has her way and style and so does a libran or an aqua or scorp. Some zodiacs are purely incapable for direct talks. When i mean direct - I love Aries direct nature. They say yes or no verbally without caring if they are hurting or embarrassing another person. But when its a Gemini or aqua or libra, direct talks happens more intellectually. We speak what we want to tell and if the other person is an air sign understand it fully. So far I have noticed that every sign has a pattern for communication with everyother sign and seperate frequencies for male and female. And generally a libran dont get offended by whatever comes out of an aries, gemini, libra and aqua babes. Aqua does make a slight diff since aqua know more than him at any point of time. But still he dont find it offensive even if u say it in the weirdest way possible within your zodiac boundaries.

So HP74 cannot be as direct as an aries or flirty as a libran. She can be only herself. Bit direct. Then many things are told in a wide smile. Then a shy pause. then again little bit. Scorp never talks openly. They create that spooky mysterious moment and make others dig the way down scorps in search of truth.

So being direct is more like an approach what can be recommended.

Libran kinda pegged me. I get to the point where I can only put up with so much, then I roll up my sleeves and dig into the matter. Sometimes I will use sarcasm as my weapon, but cover it up with my charming personality and winning smile.

Aquarianbrat

Just pull back a bit.

I understand that we cannot step outside ourselves and that we can only deal with issues the way we are made to deal with them but in this case, if you confront you might end up with nothing. If you pull back, he loses his grip on the situation, cannot put his finger on it and there is a good chance he'll become interested again, because we want what we cannot have. Try it for a week, ride it out for a bit and if that does not bring clarity, then do what you would normally do.

Timing is everything...

Aquabrat,

He sounds pretty clear to me. He loves you as a FRIEND. He isn't interested in a romantic relationship with you. It doesn't really matter that no one loves him the way you do. I have walked away from many men who loved me more than anyone else has ... because I didn't love them, romantically, in return.

I agree with Libra. Libras will pursue a love interest. We just will.

The Libra,

I don't know if it is that Sag. and Gimini is somewhere in my chart. But, trust every friend and family member knows I am extremely direct. I only play that mystery stuff when I am not trying to get to the bottom of something. I do hold back a minute to give people time to think (I may have learned that I needed to do that with a Libra.)Believe me when I talk I get straight to it. Sometimes my bluntness gets me in trouble. I am not rude I can sugar coat something (a little) but you will be very clear where I am coming from.

I was direct with the Libra in my life this morning. I called him before his usual wake up call to me and it was a bit awkward, but I said most of what I needed to say.

I timed it so I didn't stay on the phone too long because I had to get ready for work, so I only stayed on the phone for 20 minutes. He asked if he could call me when he got into the office and I told him that it was best he didn't.

I was rather distant and direct. It took me a while to get direct with him, but I did it. Now the ball is in his court to think about what I told him. I've accepted the fact that me being direct with him could very well lead him in the opposite direction. But I feel he'll think about the things I pointed out to him and at least call me soon to let me know how he feels.

I was not emotional or mousy. I was just calm and rational. That's how I generally am - not just because of the fact that Libras need balance.

I can't remember where, but I have Libra in my chart, too.

QueenScorp, I have Sagittarius Rising. I think that's where I get the direct, non-sugar coating attitude.

Houston

I think I missed something. What was the problem with you and your libra-fella? I thought things were going well.

Things are so-so, but there are things that don't add up. He also hurt my feelings last night that kind of put the icing on the cake for me to tell him what I was feeling.

Too bad things are only so/so. I thought you were in the clear. It sounded like he was calling all the time, being reliable and consistent. What happened? Did he intentionally hurt your feelings?

😢

Do you want me to beat him up for you? I will you know.

BTW your cat is to die for!

"BTW your cat is to die for!"
Yes, he thinks so too. LOL

He is/was calling a lot, but at his convenience. Whenever I called him, he didn't answer. That's why I stopped calling him. For instance last night he texted me telling me it was his mom's birthday and he was doing the birthday get together, so I texted him back and asked if he'd call me and he replied "of course". Well at 10 pm, instead of a phone call, I get ANOTHER text message. I am seriously tired of text messages.

The thing that hurt my feelings was this: a friend of mine invited him and me to her Christmas party so when he texted me last night (instead of calling), I told him he was invited to her party. He replied "A coworker is having a Xmas party as well that evening. Had I known about the party, I would have declined his invitation"...

well what hurt my feelings about this was I have been trying to spend time with him for the last 2 weekends, but he makes plans this Saturday to go to the party. If he uses the excuse of "had I known" about the invitation to my friend's party, he should have applied that same reasoning behind the invitation to his co-workers party and spending time with me. If he truly was thinking about me, he would declined the coworkers invitation to spend time with me since he knows I've been trying to spend time with him.

Oh and the other thing was even after he told me about his coworkers party, he didn't invite me.

So this morning, I told him that the text messages get tiring. I also told him how I felt about committing to the party when he knew that I've been trying to spend time with him. It would be one thing had he committed to this party before I brought up us spending time together, but he told his coworker he'd go to the party AFTER I brought it up.

Since that talk, I've havent' received any text messages. So yeah, I'm thinking that he's going to run.

Yup, my Libra friend missed my party b-day party as well he didn't respond to my evite, but my girl friend who threw the party talked to him and he told her he would be there. A week after not hearing from me after the party he called with a sob story and apology... I got over it but he hurts my feelings too sometime. Just not deeply, but slightly... I dunno why we hang on to them sometime. I love a challenge and I think that is what keeps me coming. When a man is in my face I am not as intrigued. I might be a little crazy huh?

The ball is in his court now. I rid myself of feelings. If he wants me in his life, friend or otherwise, it's now up to him to take the initiative. I am done with trying.

thelibran. Okay, back to the "Shape of my heart" Sting thing... What does that mean? I can usually read between lines, well sometimes... but I am completely missing this. Please explain.

Thank you to everyone for your advice. I am now pulling back, officially. I have not spoken to him since Friday, so we will see what happens. When he does call, I will be busy and distant. I did this before and it worked for about a week, he called just about everynight, but I started feeling bad, because I knew he really wanted to talk to me and I was avoiding his call. This was around the time he told his "sex partner" to stop calling him also. I guess I will just have to wait it out, if I really want him. Otherwise, I will have to find someone else to "pull my hair out over" and he and I will go back to just being best-friends again... Oah well, life is tough😢

Queenscorpio.

We are all going crazy! And getting fed up. It's time to make a change.

HP74

I thought things were going well with your Libra too. I am sorry things are not going as planned. Hopefully he will call and tell you how he really feels, SOON.

Lord knows I try.. They keep finding me. I need to start resisting. I definitely don't look for them.

Libras are weird about the phone. I rarely pick mine up. I much prefer email. I don't have a cell so I don't have the text message problem.

Give him your cell bill and make him pay for all the text charges. I would tell him nicely that if he continues to text you after you have asked him to stop then you expect him to pay the bill.

** If he uses the excuse of "had I known" about the invitation to my friend's party, he should have applied that same reasoning behind the invitation to his co-workers party and spending time with me. If he truly was thinking about me, he would declined the coworkers invitation to spend time with me since he knows I've been trying to spend time with him

Sorry Houston, I don't understand your logic here. Are you upset that he accepted the invite to coworkers after you told him you wanted to see him? Did you give him a definite date?

Libras love a party. It is almost impossible to say no to a friend's request to get together. I am sooooo overbooked right now because of the holidays. Trying to fit everyone I love in. Things might improve after the holidays.

But you have to say what are you doing Saturday December 9th? I want to get together with you that night ... then I will know we are gettting together .... otherwise, I book up.

He didn't invite you to the party because your friend is having a party that night. Obviously, you want to go to your friend's party and be with all your friends that night. (libra logic)

Also... I have a lot of Scorpio friends. They are ALL extemely blunt and have NO problem expressing what is really on their minds. I would not have it any other way. I love people, men and women, who are upfront and honest with me. It makes my life a lot easier. I hate this guessing game. Most of the guys I date are that way also... very outspoken and outgoing. It's just this dang elusive, sensitive, quiet Libra, that I did not even want to meet 6 years ago, but he pushed his way into my life and now I can't get him out of my heart!! sorry... I just had to vent for a moment...

I dunno. I think all these situations are really plain and clear. These guys have told you what they wanted ... you just aren't listening. I am sorry to say.

OK little Sparrow, what do you think about my buddy after all this?

Sparrow, mine said one thing and is doing another.

did

little_sparrow.

I think more than being about the guys, it is about how we feel about them. We are trying to get what we want from them, even through they are NOT cooperating. I know it is possible, other women have been able to turn situations and a mans head around. Our predicament is we do not understand how Libra men think and what there motivation is. That is why we are here, or that is why I am here... if it was clear he did not want me, there would be no reason to write all these posts... I have a lot of time on my hands, but not that much.

Houston

You guy is into you ... he is just a bit of a duffus.

Queen ... I would have to reread cause I am having a hard time keeping them all straight. If I stated my opinion before, I probably stand behind it.

If they keep saying they want to be your friend and don't want a relationship ... they don't want a relationship. They won't even pursue a friendship with you if they think you are emotionally attached to them. They will just back out of the friendship.

Houston ... how so? how is he doing one things and saying another?

I will respond more tomorrow. I have to run. Sorry guys.

(((EVERYONE))))

I really hope things work out for the best for everyone.

Little sparrow. My buddy stated that he was getting emotional about us and I wasn't - that could be why. I was the one who stated that niether of us was in a position to be in a relationship right now. He just got out of relationship with the Sag. I am recently divorced and a relationship is too much right now.

I love what we have the great sex and a great friendship. After these posts, I think he is either scared and protecting us both or don't know what to do. Eventually I will get the answer trust me, I am just giving a little room to breathe and think, and think and think and at some point I will put a hault on it.

"I was the one who stated that neither of us was in a position to be in a relationship right now."

Someone said something along these lines to me once, few years ago...I have not yet forgotten. My first thought was like 'then why are we here?'. Once I have confessed, I want everything. These lines put doubt in my mind e.g. can I offer myself and my enthousiasm to this person? We hear everything you say when we love you because we make that our task.

I am not so sure that we need a big break between partners. Possibly because we take a fairly long time in breaking up, are generally positive e.g. want to feel good, etc.

I know that could have worked against me, but I was being honest. He actually agreed with me that it wasn't good for us and because he stated a couple times to me that he needed to get this relationship out of his system and focus on himself before he got into another one, I was really shocked. If I had thought about it a little longer maybe I would have come up with a different answer.


Again this separation is making me want him more and yes, it is I who is also afraid of being a rebound girl and making him a possible rebound guy.

If you said it for you - then it is OK. You have to live by your standards.

I could have said it in an indirect way (see how I took it?), but if someone else does it to me: Grrr...Toast!

Libra, thanks for the insight - makes a lot of sense. Should I just tell him I miss him when I see him at the gym tomorrow? Not desperately but sweetly.

Then you might make im feel guilty e.g. he is doing something wrong.

See, we like to go into the Lion's den if we want you, even if we have nothing to say, we have to put ourselves outthere. Look an arse, but it has to be done.

If we don't want you even if we wanted you yesterday, the effort stops, talk becomes vague and indirect, we'd rather avoid you, become a little lazy, we don't take risks any longer and are less carefull overall.

You can just watch him and fill in the blanks. And hell yeah, if you miss him you tell him. I'm sure his state of mind is there now...we don't change all the time...

But don't be sticky...and check the non-verbal response!!!

* third para

= more risks - sorry - more risks are taken because less is at stake

Libra, are you suggesting he didn't want me as a friend? That is where I would like to start or continue.

My ex did a similar thing. When I stopped contacting him he came back and I just told him I changed my mind about being friends I wanted more and I did think he would blow me off - he politely said, OK I would like that.. Shocked the hell out of me!!! He has been crazy about me since.

So maybe I shouldn't be friends with him, if it might turn into something else right now. I dunno. It is all becoming a big blurr and I am running out of patience.

Sweetie, I have no idea what your friends wants.

Just watch him tomorrow when you see him. And know that he is not shy and will come for you if he wants you.

But if you pull back a little he gets a chance to miss you and realise that you are this great girl etc...

As long as he is not clear in his mind then don't be too direct. Because he also needs time to make up his mind (= feelings) about you...

* friend

(sorry, am very tired)

Libra, since I did just send the email about the talk maybe I should wait awhile... I just don't want him to think I am angry or anything. I haven't said anything to him the past two days besides a wave. For some reason he wants to be in clear sight where I can see him I catch him glancing from time to time however I just get my work out on and jet out to work. I will eventually say something, maybe not tomorrow. I am tired too... This can be exhausting. Not my natural Scorp charactor, challenges make me do these things though.

Then give yourself a break, and him, too.

Not having access to you ('cause you jet out to work) and the fact that he has no control over you anymore will drive him mad. Is very, very sexy...

But be sweet when you wave or smile or...remember he's still reading between those lines.

It's hopeless.

It is not. Just be a little patient...AND PULL BACK!!

update: it's been 12 hours since my "talk" with the Libra and no call or text message.

yeah, my instinct appears to be right so far.

What did you do HP?

Wow hasn't my first post grown?? sheesh LOL.....hmmmm well as far as things with my Libran? all your advice has worked well....we are now talking regularly, although there are still those 2-3 days between where we don't communicate and I don't instigate it (I've grown patience though and now don't worry about it) - I figured he can do the chasing as advised I should allow him to do. I keep myself busy and that seems to interest him ever so much more. the other night I went out with my girlfriends and just had a great girlie night in town and needless to say My libran friend was much more interested as to whether I had been "chatted up" by anybody else and as to what time I got home, etc. Although he hasn't actually made us "exclusive" I think he is getting more and more interested in me and what I do and like, etc so that must be a good sign. So far all the advice you guys have given has been perfect thank you and Im assuming him regularly now making the effort and when we do see one another its nothing short of awesome!!! The big smile on his face, the way he's so incredibly affectionate, etc makes me feel very secure now (although I have read in other posts that this isn't always a sign they're "attracted" as they are that way with their partners even if not in a strong relationship so that sucks!!). I do believe though, that after 2 months now and the fact he wants to keep seeing me means that Im in with a pretty good chance...well here's hoping anyway...time will tell and Im certainly giving him plenty of that, along with patience and just acting cool - its working a treat 🙂

Keep posted and thank you so much for all your advice.

Ok, he called around 10:30 and we talked for about an hour. We got serious with our conversation, but I'm still confused...ack

I normally phone or text the ones i am interested in. But when i do it for more than 3 days without a break, i start thinking if she is gonna see me as an obsessed fella. so i stop for few days. sometimes i start again, sometimes i wait for them to start. then it goes all over again. 😉

Lady M, I did nothing.