relationships and outside friends

This topic was created in the Libra forum by Pride of 0ctober on Monday, February 21, 2011 and has 22 replies.
In a relationship, if your girlfriend/boyfriend has friends of the opposite sex, how does this make you feel? does it make you question things an want to dig in for info? or do you blow it off as casual?
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Revealing question.
Not sure I wanna answer but here goes..

I only have problems when his female friend wants to break us up. Fwiw, it only happened with an Aries girl who was a mutual friend of ours. I never knew she would do this, but she told plenty lies and badmouthed me to him to try to make him dislike me. She was interested in him sexually but always used his kindness to get what she wanted. At one point I even thought forget it, let her have him smile. But he never left me anyways.
So, basically, female friends are fine, no problem.. there are only 2 sexes in this world. Plus the Lib is a female magnet.
I noticed he tended to prefer male friendship as me and him progressed. It is natural to want to maintain proper boundaries.
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To me it depends on the friend. If I'm dating someone I trust them, but I may not know their friends (esp at first). I don't have to be friends with all her friends but I want to at least meet them. Ultimately though, if the gf says it's a friend then I accept it's just a friend. I have female friends and always will, how could I have a problem with her having males friends?
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I could care less. I'd be more concerned if he didn't have any. Most of my friends happen to be male now. Hell, he's still friends with 2 of his old FWB's... and so am I. I'd only be worried if he spent excessive amounts of alone time with them. So, yeah, it's not an issue at all.
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Actually, that ram above is very similar to that Aries girl I speak of. I see her as a continuation of that person I cut off. What she did was exactly like what the other girl did, trying to badmouth at every opportunity. I am SO glad I found out early. And she follows my posts trying a defamation route. How classy. Typical Aries woman I wouldn't wish upon anyone.
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Nah, I don't want anything to do with said person, but she's always insulting me in posts that have nothing to do with her. When will this parasite go away? I'm guessing never. She hangs on the libra board because she wants to get tips on snaring a hapless libra man. Anyone interested? Clearly I'm not but she keeps disturbing me. Hope it goes away.
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Posted by amethyst2002
Seriously? Wow.


It's okay, I still like you...
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Posted by LibraLuv
Angry ...I go away for a few hours and come back to chaos. What the hell is going on in here???????


drags said tied sheep on a leash and presents it to you. Here, houston, is my problem. You can have her for free. It keeps going to my pasture and seriously, I hate it there. You can fatten it up, keep it as a pet, whatever. And keep it for roast with mint sauce. She's all yours if you're willing to take her.
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Posted by aquagirl24
Posted by spica
smile


see??/ this is the difference between libra and aqua that u asked me about.
aqua ignores them, (in fact i cant see her posts, must be cos i ignored her ages ago) i knew she/he was a dick and didnt give her a chance. u dont, because u r a libran. u rnt weak, even if u appear, u just give too much relevance. this is one of the main aqua-libra differences. i dont give a fuck what people think of me, but u do... u feel annoyed! yeah am annoyed at the beginning but then am happy they are outside my circle of friends... their loss after all! why u make ur life a shit for these people who are obviously empty and have nothing to do?
i think the less u pay attention to them, the less they give a meaning to their own existence. the less they give a meaning to their existence, the more the world has time to breathe away from them, the more the world is gonna be a better place,
smile trust the trustful ones not the untrustworthy, i dont put everyone at the same place. i discriminate between who values, and who doesnt.
this is the main libra-aqua difference.
we are called the UNORTHODOX sign for this reason. out of the rules shit bla bla bla. x
try ignore dicks and be nice to the nice ones, "hammurabi code thing" see if u feel better. Winking xxx

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You are right. However, I check dxp from my phone sometimes and it logs me out automatically. And I dont have the assword on hand. So, I have to scroll over her posts. They're usually insulting me personally. She's that tick that never goes away. I am thinking of how to get rid of Aries women. Apparently their mutated strains have moved beyond generic tick-be-gone bottles you find in stores.
When I am logged in on my laptop, she disappears though. Only when I'm on my phone because it logs me out everytime.
And no, I'm not necessarily a people pleaser. Aquas got it wrong in this respect. We only really care what those we love think about us, because we like to maintain a certain level of love in our circle. That ram o'er there.. she just comes in; I dont care what she thinks, but I'd like a tick be gone medicine especially for her.
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Posted by LibraSid
Posted by amethyst2002
Seriously? Wow.


It's okay, I still like you...
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Please drag her away to your neverland..
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Posted by amethyst2002
If that's you hugging me... wtf is wrong with my eyes??? :o


You're in lurrrrrrrrrrrve.. your eyes turned into hearts... though your mouth looks like it's screaming, seriously.. so uhh.. maybe j00 don't wanna be in love with the cuddle monster? teehee
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Posted by Pride of 0ctober
In a relationship, if your girlfriend/boyfriend has friends of the opposite sex, how does this make you feel? does it make you question things an want to dig in for info? or do you blow it off as casual?


I don't midn it.
I take who I call my "friends" very seriously & I expect my partner to be the same way.
I don't mind him having female friends as long as they're really and technically "just friends," meaning everything is platonic.
Do I investigate & ask 100 questions about his female friends? Well no, but early on, I do like learning about them & how each 1 contributes to his life. Not for the sake of being nosy or looking for trouble, but moreso b/c I expect his friends to eventually become mine as well.
Am I cool with him still trying to hold on to all his ex's & past flings & F buddies, that he's disguising as "just friends?" Heck no. If some of his "friends" just so happen to have feelings for him or are always trying to get in the middle of our relationship, I'll see that as a red flag; but not necessarily that something fishy must be going on, but mroeso instead that he needs to rethink who he truly calls his "Friend."
If I can clearly see that he has good judgment for which he considers a male OR female his "friend," then I'd have no reason to question any of his friendships with them.
Plus, it all depends on what kind of friendships he has with women. If he's taking them out on dates or spending more time courting them than me, we might have a problem. If he's leaving the house every Thursday at 2am to "be there/comfort" his friend, that's bull & I won't tolerate it nor fall for it. If he does things with females that I feel he should only do to/with me as his wife, that might be a problem also.
But no, I'm absolutely not bothered by or intimidated by him having female friends as long as they're platonic friendships. If he's doing or saying anything to/with them behind closed doors that he couldn't do/say if I was standing there, that's a problem.
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Sooo not okay with it.
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Okay now let me ask ya'll this, what if the friendship takes an intimate turn like if words like "baby and "boo" and phrases like "i miss you" are being used? do u just end the relationship-or do you tell your mate to end that friendship and what if they dont?
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Posted by everevolvingepithet
Posted by Pride of 0ctober
Okay now let me ask ya'll this, what if the friendship takes an intimate turn like if words like "baby and "boo" and phrases like "i miss you" are being used? do u just end the relationship-or do you tell your mate to end that friendship and what if they dont?


It wouldn't. Friendship is friendship. Relationship is relationship.
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Agreed. I have female friends but I don't give them 'pet names' and would have a problem if I was dating a woman and some other dude was calling her boo or baby.
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calling a female friend what?
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Posted by LibraSid
Posted by amethyst2002
Seriously? Wow.


It's okay, I still like you...
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Posted by THEKingofLibra
Posted by Nefer
Posted by LibraSid
Posted by amethyst2002
Seriously? Wow.


It's okay, I still like you...





That looks like your finger is humping your finger and giving it a reach around.. with a finger!
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Well.. it's a hug from behind and a neck kiss...
... I kinda like YOUR scenario too though. Hrm.
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Posted by THEKingofLibra
Posted by TasteOfChaos
Posted by THEKingofLibra
Posted by TasteOfChaos
Posted by THEKingofLibra
I don't see a Tubby.. you mean caligula?



Oh yeah, sorry... Caligula.



Are you fucking crazy? She has a Mars in Aries



What are you scared?




Wonderbread.. you are crazy.
You don't become the King of the Diplomatic Corps of the Zodiac by pissing off the goddess of war. Get your head checked, homeslice.
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That. Was. Awesome. And I lol'ed.
Makes me wish I could put MY hairy cojones on YOUR face!
Do you swallow?
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Posted by aquagirl24
Posted by Pride of 0ctober
calling a female friend what?


am called hunni bunny, honey pie, snuggle bum, snuggle bug... etc. and call him back other names...
by MR EL LIBRA...
so u r all lying... x

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Um.. at risk of being called a bully for picking on the mentally challenged...
HEY AQUA DUMBFUCK.. they were talking about Libras and what they call FEMALE FRIENDS.. and that the PET NAMES are generally reserved for their WOMEN, and if the Libra is tossing out those cutesy pet names to OTHER women, that's NOT A GOOD THING.
Sheesh.
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Posted by aquagirl24
Posted by everevolvingepithet
Yeah, that's because your luuurrverrss !


what does lurver mean, did you mean luver?
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Lovers
You are dating. That's not we were talking about. With MY girlfriend, sure I'll use pet names... with someone else's gf, nope.
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To answer the OP, his friends are his friends. Whether they're packing in a bra or not. I would trust my man implicitly to handle his bidness. If he could not, he'd not be my man. *snapping fingers* Just that simple.
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