Self reflecting libra

This topic was created in the Libra forum by BalancedBean on Sunday, February 24, 2019 and has 15 replies.
Hello fellow Libras,

I’m having a rough day and I want to know if any of you have shared the experience I’m about to detail below. If so, what worked for you?

I’m single and that’s my least favorite dating status but it has me wondering why a good portion of my relationships are in shambles.

I don’t like a lot of my friends and I’m partly to blame. When a friend upsets me, I used to try to keep the peace, then when they aren’t around say mean things about them. I thought I was just harmlessly venting but people talk and people get hurt. I no longer do this but it has made me into a depressed loner and ruined trust with people.

I don’t socialize the way I used to because I think of all the negative “what ifs” plus I don’t trust myself to avoid gossiping if i get upset. but I’m lonely. I want a few close friends and a relationship but I don’t want to charm them. I want to be myself but I’m sad and negative, who will want to befriend me without my charm.

I also turn into this person that’s not me in a group setting and it’s almost impossible to pull out of. Someone told me I’m either passive or aggressive. Which is exhausting because I don’t know how to process fast enough to communicate effectively without being mean or holding a grudge. I’m in therapy but I’m wondering if anyone has any insight or experience with this.

Thanks. My therapist thinks I have ASD but I just think I smoke a lot of weed, who knows.

op, how old are you?
Libras and their damn “I’m single and can’t face conflict” bullshit.

Wah!! Wah!! Wah!!
Posted by black773

Libras and their damn “I’m single and can’t face conflict” bullshit.

Wah!! Wah!! Wah!!

lol this actually made me laugh out loud. Seriously
Posted by black773

Libras and their damn “I’m single and can’t face conflict” bullshit.

Wah!! Wah!! Wah!!
What sign are you?
I feel you OP. I'm going through the same thing regarding friends. I cut off 2 friends last year because of negativity and I just didn't want to listen anymore. You know what? It's been a little over a year and I don't miss them one bit. I agree that all Libra's seem to be pulling back. I read somewhere that 2018 and 2019 are going to be bad years for Libras.
Posted by DonnaLibra

I feel you OP. I'm going through the same thing regarding friends. I cut off 2 friends last year because of negativity and I just didn't want to listen anymore. You know what? It's been a little over a year and I don't miss them one bit. I agree that all Libra's seem to be pulling back. I read somewhere that 2018 and 2019 are going to be bad years for Libras.
i don't know. i've been having a great last few years. after being stuck for a while (probably 3-4 years), things have been moving along quite nicely in all aspects of my life - career, financially, home life, matters of lurve. if anything has been problematic it's that i have recently been tussling over plans for the future but in the last week i have managed to resolve it.
Posted by BalancedBean

Hello fellow Libras,

I’m having a rough day and I want to know if any of you have shared the experience I’m about to detail below. If so, what worked for you?

I’m single and that’s my least favorite dating status but it has me wondering why a good portion of my relationships are in shambles.

I don’t like a lot of my friends and I’m partly to blame. When a friend upsets me, I used to try to keep the peace, then when they aren’t around say mean things about them. I thought I was just harmlessly venting but people talk and people get hurt. I no longer do this but it has made me into a depressed loner and ruined trust with people.

I don’t socialize the way I used to because I think of all the negative “what ifs” plus I don’t trust myself to avoid gossiping if i get upset. but I’m lonely. I want a few close friends and a relationship but I don’t want to charm them. I want to be myself but I’m sad and negative, who will want to befriend me without my charm.

I also turn into this person that’s not me in a group setting and it’s almost impossible to pull out of. Someone told me I’m either passive or aggressive. Which is exhausting because I don’t know how to process fast enough to communicate effectively without being mean or holding a grudge. I’m in therapy but I’m wondering if anyone has any insight or experience with this.

Thanks. My therapist thinks I have ASD but I just think I smoke a lot of weed, who knows.

so; after a friend upsets you - do you try to determine what actually transpired ? I ask because an old Libra friend of mine used to be great for years, then all of a sudden said I was being mean to her ? which I wasn't any different than I had ever been before but I think she changed and was taking everything personally during that period of time. I had to end the friendship because of that

of course she would still blame me because she's in denial of doing anything wrong; I'm just curious how you actually see things with your previous friendships after some time passes
Posted by DonnaLibra

I feel you OP. I'm going through the same thing regarding friends. I cut off 2 friends last year because of negativity and I just didn't want to listen anymore. You know what? It's been a little over a year and I don't miss them one bit. I agree that all Libra's seem to be pulling back. I read somewhere that 2018 and 2019 are going to be bad years for Libras.
again, this strikes me strangely - I mean if they were once friends, what makes them all of a sudden be negative to you ? I don't get this. And I wonder this because of a Libra friends I have who did this to me but I think it was her, not me ... if they were friends, I'm not sure why you couldn't work things out - could you explain a bit more ?
Posted by tctaap

Posted by DonnaLibra

I feel you OP. I'm going through the same thing regarding friends. I cut off 2 friends last year because of negativity and I just didn't want to listen anymore. You know what? It's been a little over a year and I don't miss them one bit. I agree that all Libra's seem to be pulling back. I read somewhere that 2018 and 2019 are going to be bad years for Libras.
again, this strikes me strangely - I mean if they were once friends, what makes them all of a sudden be negative to you ? I don't get this. And I wonder this because of a Libra friends I have who did this to me but I think it was her, not me ... if they were friends, I'm not sure why you couldn't work things out - could you explain a bit more ?
click to expand
it may not be negative towards her but rather just being negative people. i have very little patience for that sort of thing too.

it's like stop complaining about something if you refuse to change your behaviour. maybe it's the cardinal in me. after a while, it's either be proactive or shut the hell up.

admittedly, i will fade out as well. it's not worth the row. i feel people come in and out of your life at different times. you don't need to be close friends for the rest of your life just because you were friends for a period of time. that feels pretty stifling.
Posted by tctaap

Posted by BalancedBean

Hello fellow Libras,

I’m having a rough day and I want to know if any of you have shared the experience I’m about to detail below. If so, what worked for you?

I’m single and that’s my least favorite dating status but it has me wondering why a good portion of my relationships are in shambles.

I don’t like a lot of my friends and I’m partly to blame. When a friend upsets me, I used to try to keep the peace, then when they aren’t around say mean things about them. I thought I was just harmlessly venting but people talk and people get hurt. I no longer do this but it has made me into a depressed loner and ruined trust with people.

I don’t socialize the way I used to because I think of all the negative “what ifs” plus I don’t trust myself to avoid gossiping if i get upset. but I’m lonely. I want a few close friends and a relationship but I don’t want to charm them. I want to be myself but I’m sad and negative, who will want to befriend me without my charm.

I also turn into this person that’s not me in a group setting and it’s almost impossible to pull out of. Someone told me I’m either passive or aggressive. Which is exhausting because I don’t know how to process fast enough to communicate effectively without being mean or holding a grudge. I’m in therapy but I’m wondering if anyone has any insight or experience with this.

Thanks. My therapist thinks I have ASD but I just think I smoke a lot of weed, who knows.

so; after a friend upsets you - do you try to determine what actually transpired ? I ask because an old Libra friend of mine used to be great for years, then all of a sudden said I was being mean to her ? which I wasn't any different than I had ever been before but I think she changed and was taking everything personally during that period of time. I had to end the friendship because of that

of course she would still blame me because she's in denial of doing anything wrong; I'm just curious how you actually see things with your previous friendships after some time passes
click to expand
That's a great question and yes I do self reflect. My friends may or may not change. I accept them as they are until I feel they Don't truly accept me. One friend I had for years was always mean (her sister and bf would call her out) but she was selectively mean to people she thought she was smarter than. I knew her for years but when I had a tough breakup, no call. When I was in the hospital, no call. When her bf was talking to another woman she called me every damn day that week. I feel used and I Don't really like her. I love her but I just can't be her friend like this and I tried to talk to her but she lied to my face after ignoring and scowling at me a night.

I Didnt set proper boundaries with her and now I'm paying the price. I can't even be around her without feeling sick to my stomach.

Posted by tctaap

Posted by BalancedBean

Hello fellow Libras,

I’m having a rough day and I want to know if any of you have shared the experience I’m about to detail below. If so, what worked for you?

I’m single and that’s my least favorite dating status but it has me wondering why a good portion of my relationships are in shambles.

I don’t like a lot of my friends and I’m partly to blame. When a friend upsets me, I used to try to keep the peace, then when they aren’t around say mean things about them. I thought I was just harmlessly venting but people talk and people get hurt. I no longer do this but it has made me into a depressed loner and ruined trust with people.

I don’t socialize the way I used to because I think of all the negative “what ifs” plus I don’t trust myself to avoid gossiping if i get upset. but I’m lonely. I want a few close friends and a relationship but I don’t want to charm them. I want to be myself but I’m sad and negative, who will want to befriend me without my charm.

I also turn into this person that’s not me in a group setting and it’s almost impossible to pull out of. Someone told me I’m either passive or aggressive. Which is exhausting because I don’t know how to process fast enough to communicate effectively without being mean or holding a grudge. I’m in therapy but I’m wondering if anyone has any insight or experience with this.

Thanks. My therapist thinks I have ASD but I just think I smoke a lot of weed, who knows.

so; after a friend upsets you - do you try to determine what actually transpired ? I ask because an old Libra friend of mine used to be great for years, then all of a sudden said I was being mean to her ? which I wasn't any different than I had ever been before but I think she changed and was taking everything personally during that period of time. I had to end the friendship because of that

of course she would still blame me because she's in denial of doing anything wrong; I'm just curious how you actually see things with your previous friendships after some time passes
click to expand
Also, it sounds like both of you are in denial
Posted by BalancedBean

Posted by tctaap

Posted by BalancedBean

Hello fellow Libras,

I’m having a rough day and I want to know if any of you have shared the experience I’m about to detail below. If so, what worked for you?

I’m single and that’s my least favorite dating status but it has me wondering why a good portion of my relationships are in shambles.

I don’t like a lot of my friends and I’m partly to blame. When a friend upsets me, I used to try to keep the peace, then when they aren’t around say mean things about them. I thought I was just harmlessly venting but people talk and people get hurt. I no longer do this but it has made me into a depressed loner and ruined trust with people.

I don’t socialize the way I used to because I think of all the negative “what ifs” plus I don’t trust myself to avoid gossiping if i get upset. but I’m lonely. I want a few close friends and a relationship but I don’t want to charm them. I want to be myself but I’m sad and negative, who will want to befriend me without my charm.

I also turn into this person that’s not me in a group setting and it’s almost impossible to pull out of. Someone told me I’m either passive or aggressive. Which is exhausting because I don’t know how to process fast enough to communicate effectively without being mean or holding a grudge. I’m in therapy but I’m wondering if anyone has any insight or experience with this.

Thanks. My therapist thinks I have ASD but I just think I smoke a lot of weed, who knows.

so; after a friend upsets you - do you try to determine what actually transpired ? I ask because an old Libra friend of mine used to be great for years, then all of a sudden said I was being mean to her ? which I wasn't any different than I had ever been before but I think she changed and was taking everything personally during that period of time. I had to end the friendship because of that

of course she would still blame me because she's in denial of doing anything wrong; I'm just curious how you actually see things with your previous friendships after some time passes
Also, it sounds like both of you are in denial
click to expand
lol ok nevermind
Posted by tiziani

Posted by jeane

Posted by DonnaLibra

I feel you OP. I'm going through the same thing regarding friends. I cut off 2 friends last year because of negativity and I just didn't want to listen anymore. You know what? It's been a little over a year and I don't miss them one bit. I agree that all Libra's seem to be pulling back. I read somewhere that 2018 and 2019 are going to be bad years for Libras.
i don't know. i've been having a great last few years. after being stuck for a while (probably 3-4 years), things have been moving along quite nicely in all aspects of my life - career, financially, home life, matters of lurve. if anything has been problematic it's that i have recently been tussling over plans for the future but in the last week i have managed to resolve it.
This is great to read.
click to expand
aw, thanks tiz. yeah, i feel i'm on the ascent at the moment.

health is good - i'm the lightest and fittest i have been for decades

career - earning more money than ever before and had two promotions in the last year and getting a third in the next month

love - the bull and i have turned a real corner for us and are shaking off a lot of baggage that was holding us back.

financial - new car soon, new pet shortly, house renovations underway

socially - friends from all corners are in abundance. i'm not lacking in invitations.

family - finally i have cut the decay out of my life and not looking back

to be honest, as a chronic complainer, i have absolutely nothing to whinge about at the moment. all of this has taken place over the last 18 months.

(it's all going to turn to shit again in a month isn't it?)
Posted by tiziani

Posted by jeane

Posted by tiziani

Posted by jeane

Posted by DonnaLibra

I feel you OP. I'm going through the same thing regarding friends. I cut off 2 friends last year because of negativity and I just didn't want to listen anymore. You know what? It's been a little over a year and I don't miss them one bit. I agree that all Libra's seem to be pulling back. I read somewhere that 2018 and 2019 are going to be bad years for Libras.
i don't know. i've been having a great last few years. after being stuck for a while (probably 3-4 years), things have been moving along quite nicely in all aspects of my life - career, financially, home life, matters of lurve. if anything has been problematic it's that i have recently been tussling over plans for the future but in the last week i have managed to resolve it.
This is great to read.
aw, thanks tiz. yeah, i feel i'm on the ascent at the moment.

health is good - i'm the lightest and fittest i have been for decades

career - earning more money than ever before and had two promotions in the last year and getting a third in the next month

love - the bull and i have turned a real corner for us and are shaking off a lot of baggage that was holding us back.

financial - new car soon, new pet shortly, house renovations underway

socially - friends from all corners are in abundance. i'm not lacking in invitations.

family - finally i have cut the decay out of my life and not looking back

to be honest, as a chronic complainer, i have absolutely nothing to whinge about at the moment. all of this has taken place over the last 18 months.

(it's all going to turn to shit again in a month isn't it?)
If it does turn to shit then I lean on my favourite line from Edge of Tomorrow: "We've been through worse."
click to expand


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