Seriously....wtf?!

This topic was created in the Libra forum by TauRisser on Saturday, November 10, 2018 and has 41 replies.
So my Libra just sat down with me tonight and we had yet another serious talk again...and when I say serious I mean the overall message. We still laughed together throughout and he kissed me several times during and after the conversation. Long conversation short: he cares about me, he respects me, he wants me to be happy, he's very attracted to me, he thinks that we could have a happier relationship than most people ever have for many, many years...but he doesn't want to be with me....seriously wtf?!?!
Because he's not in a good spot in his life and he knows he's being selfish and that I will end up hurt...or both of us will get hurt...
No seriously...what the actual fuck?
When a man says he doesn’t want to be with you, let him go.

It’s confusing but he was honest.

The mind fuck is real though...
It was more of an "I can't be with you right now because of where I am in my life" than an "I don't want to be with you". I don't understand his making plans during this conversation to go to his house and for our dogs to play together and so much talk of how much he wants me and likes me...then he puts himself down and says I deserve so much more than him...
does he have some venus issues? some Rx going on lmao

sounds like insecurities at 99% high
Posted by Endless

does he have some venus issues? some Rx going on lmao

sounds like insecurities at 99% high
I called him out on being scared because of how he feels and he confirmed it. Said he has abandonment issues because of his past (not going to share details but I understand). He's definitely insecure. Also said he might just go make out with some random girl just to prove to himself he's over me (which hurt a lot tbh). I playfully threw my purse at him. Told him "you suck" but I can't be angry! He said "don't hate me" and I said "I hate that I can't hate you"
And he's not one to just go around kissing people...he's a flirt but he's far from a whore
Posted by TauRisser

Posted by Endless

does he have some venus issues? some Rx going on lmao

sounds like insecurities at 99% high
I called him out on being scared because of how he feels and he confirmed it. Said he has abandonment issues because of his past (not going to share details but I understand). He's definitely insecure. Also said he might just go make out with some random girl just to prove to himself he's over me (which hurt a lot tbh). I playfully threw my purse at him. Told him "you suck" but I can't be angry! He said "don't hate me" and I said "I hate that I can't hate you"
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You should ask him what you can do to make him feel better and more comfortable and tell him all the great qualities he has. Lift his spirits
Posted by CaptainSpaceLady

Posted by TauRisser

Posted by Endless

does he have some venus issues? some Rx going on lmao

sounds like insecurities at 99% high
I called him out on being scared because of how he feels and he confirmed it. Said he has abandonment issues because of his past (not going to share details but I understand). He's definitely insecure. Also said he might just go make out with some random girl just to prove to himself he's over me (which hurt a lot tbh). I playfully threw my purse at him. Told him "you suck" but I can't be angry! He said "don't hate me" and I said "I hate that I can't hate you"


You should ask him what you can do to make him feel better and more comfortable and tell him all the great qualities he has. Lift his spirits
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It's worth a try I suppose! It sucks because it's as if he read my mind! It's like he knew exactly how I felt and what I thought...he said things to me that I thought but never said out loud....
Posted by TauRisser

Posted by Endless

does he have some venus issues? some Rx going on lmao

sounds like insecurities at 99% high
I called him out on being scared because of how he feels and he confirmed it. Said he has abandonment issues because of his past (not going to share details but I understand). He's definitely insecure. Also said he might just go make out with some random girl just to prove to himself he's over me (which hurt a lot tbh). I playfully threw my purse at him. Told him "you suck" but I can't be angry! He said "don't hate me" and I said "I hate that I can't hate you"
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For the record, when he said he might do that, he said that kissing someone else wouldn't be emotional, just physical. But with me it's emotional....
He's using Libra charm to soften the blow. Sorry
Sounds like a lot of fluff words to let you down gently. Hopefully not and he really is in a weird place right now but seems to be the norm with majority of guys instead of just telling you straight up.
Posted by tiziani

Yeah but people can say all sorts of things. He's obviously not a confident person at the moment and with how little he feels he has going for himself, he'll naturally have plenty of time to talk and think.

Do too much of both and it goes in circles.
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Posted by TauRisser

So my Libra just sat down with me tonight and we had yet another serious talk again...and when I say serious I mean the overall message. We still laughed together throughout and he kissed me several times during and after the conversation. Long conversation short: he cares about me, he respects me, he wants me to be happy, he's very attracted to me, he thinks that we could have a happier relationship than most people ever have for many, many years...but he doesn't want to be with me....seriously wtf?!?!
yet another serious talk again? who iniciates those talks?

why let yourself be engaged in those "serious talks"?
At the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter the reason... wrong time + right person=wrong person, right time + wrong person = wrong person. Need to right time+ right person for things to work. Often later in life depending 🤷🏻‍♀️ Sometimes a guy can really like a girl BUT there is a crucial missing ingredient that sours everything... if you know what I mean? Move on, someone better for you and who has their shit together will make you happier then you thought possible.

-Been there, done that 😉
I just had this kinda chat with a Gem I broke up with. I told him we a great guy etc but that we should stop seeing other. Why? Everything I said was true and genuine, but we just didn't match. There were issues with lack of emotion, respect, and chemistry. Still, I was gutted and in my heart of hearts hope that we could maybe reconnect.

So I'm not for totally calling this guy a douche. It's issues on both sides that make a separation necessary sometimes.
Are you in a good place to be in a relationship? Ready to date others if you wanted?

If yes then you should do exactly that and tell him that you understand he needs time but you’re looking for a relationship and won’t stop dating other people, and for him to let you know if he does ever become ready. In the meantime stay in touch if you enjoy his company but make sure you’re still continuing your life forward.
Posted by Pandora101

Posted by TauRisser

So my Libra just sat down with me tonight and we had yet another serious talk again...and when I say serious I mean the overall message. We still laughed together throughout and he kissed me several times during and after the conversation. Long conversation short: he cares about me, he respects me, he wants me to be happy, he's very attracted to me, he thinks that we could have a happier relationship than most people ever have for many, many years...but he doesn't want to be with me....seriously wtf?!?!
yet another serious talk again? who iniciates those talks?

why let yourself be engaged in those "serious talks"?
click to expand
He initiates them and out of nowhere too. It's weird too because we get along so well that even though it's a serious topic it's not a serious conversation… Like it is but we still joke around with each other and have a good time with each other and UGG I don't get it
Posted by 2Moon

Posted by TauRisser

No seriously...what the actual fuck?
I got some personal issues like this too..

I can't go forward until my life / things are perfect...

Perfection issues and stuff..

It's like adhd or some other stuff.. (giggles)

It's all in his head..

We worry too much sometimes..

Ya should talk with him about this Winking smile
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He definitely has ADHD we've talked about it before and the funny thing is I understand because I am ADD. He also has some pretty serious abandonment issues because of his past. He's definitely worrying too much. There are reasons why we still have to see chowder in the next week or so… I don't know. I guess we will see what happens. He still wants to hang out with me… I really don't get it. He also said that he's worried that while he's going through this transitional phase that he will hold me back from someone who can give me what I need and end up hurting me anyway… He's convinced that I'm gonna find somebody else really soon and that I will thank him for letting me go… I don't think he realizes that I've never met anyone that I can talk to like this or that talks to me like he does or that gives me butterflies or any of it…
Posted by JanMayMarry

That's balancing.

I love you but I can't be with you....but hey at least I love you, so it's fair. Yaaaaa
Lmao balancing
Posted by Sola

I just had this kinda chat with a Gem I broke up with. I told him we a great guy etc but that we should stop seeing other. Why? Everything I said was true and genuine, but we just didn't match. There were issues with lack of emotion, respect, and chemistry. Still, I was gutted and in my heart of hearts hope that we could maybe reconnect.

So I'm not for totally calling this guy a douche. It's issues on both sides that make a separation necessary sometimes.
I think what gets me is that he says that he cares about me and he really likes me and he thinks that we could be really happy together for many many years… He said happier than a lot of couples who have been together for 20 years. This is why it's all so confusing. He said I don't even know why I feel this way and I said because you're scared… And he said yeah yeah I guess I am scared
Posted by TauRisser

Posted by Sola

I just had this kinda chat with a Gem I broke up with. I told him we a great guy etc but that we should stop seeing other. Why? Everything I said was true and genuine, but we just didn't match. There were issues with lack of emotion, respect, and chemistry. Still, I was gutted and in my heart of hearts hope that we could maybe reconnect.

So I'm not for totally calling this guy a douche. It's issues on both sides that make a separation necessary sometimes.
I think what gets me is that he says that he cares about me and he really likes me and he thinks that we could be really happy together for many many years… He said happier than a lot of couples who have been together for 20 years. This is why it's all so confusing. He said I don't even know why I feel this way and I said because you're scared… And he said yeah yeah I guess I am scared
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The hard part for you will be to continue in a way that doesn't leave you stuck as an option. I mean, you love the guy, but sometimes it takes tough love and heartache for things to change. Otherwise you'll be here in 10 years time with the same issues (like me) Sad
Posted by Sola

Posted by TauRisser

Posted by Sola

I just had this kinda chat with a Gem I broke up with. I told him we a great guy etc but that we should stop seeing other. Why? Everything I said was true and genuine, but we just didn't match. There were issues with lack of emotion, respect, and chemistry. Still, I was gutted and in my heart of hearts hope that we could maybe reconnect.

So I'm not for totally calling this guy a douche. It's issues on both sides that make a separation necessary sometimes.
I think what gets me is that he says that he cares about me and he really likes me and he thinks that we could be really happy together for many many years… He said happier than a lot of couples who have been together for 20 years. This is why it's all so confusing. He said I don't even know why I feel this way and I said because you're scared… And he said yeah yeah I guess I am scared
The hard part for you will be to continue in a way that doesn't leave you stuck as an option. I mean, you love the guy, but sometimes it takes tough love and heartache for things to change. Otherwise you'll be here in 10 years time with the same issues (like me) Sad
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I'm sorry to hear that it's gone that way for you. It's definitely not easy. But he's not the first guy who has screwed me around in one way or another… I just hate when they do this whole I really like you and I think that we could be really happy together but I just can't be with you right now… The only difference is this guy doesn't want me to wait around. He keeps telling me that he wants me to be happy even if it means that I'm with someone else who can give me what I deserve....it just really sucks because he is so many of the things that I've been searching for my whole life
Yeah, I told the Gem the same thing..that I hope he meets someone else soon. My heart will break, but that's what happens when he doesn't step up or value me in ways that I expect.

So, probably you should accept the pain now and try and move on. Only no contact will work, or you'll be sucked back into the cycle again and again.
Posted by tiziani

Posted by stillstillwater

Are you in a good place to be in a relationship? Ready to date others if you wanted?

If yes then you should do exactly that and tell him that you understand he needs time but you’re looking for a relationship and won’t stop dating other people, and for him to let you know if he does ever become ready. In the meantime stay in touch if you enjoy his company but make sure you’re still continuing your life forward.
play on Playa Moon
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real recognize real

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Posted by LaMadrina

he's softening the break up blow.
Only he's making it so much worse by telling me he thinks we would be great together and make each other really happy....
He wants to keep you on his backburner for casual hook ups. Smh... that‘s why he still charms the F out of you. Mindfucking you on a high level and he knows it! A real trickster. He is honest on one side by telling you he doesn‘t want a relationship but on the other side he charms your pants off mentally and keeps being touchy kissy?! Smart ass.. sorry for you girl 🌷 you‘ll find someone who wants to be with you, you sure deserve it!

Good luck
is this what is called crumbing?
9/10 times, when a guy says he into you, yet proceeds to give some excuse as to why you cannot be together, he's not as interested as you would like to believe. Most men are not that complicated, and tend to go after what they want.

Sure, there's always a chance that his excuse is genuine, but why put your life on hold for that 10% ?
Posted by AquaNextDoor

He wants to keep you on his backburner for casual hook ups. Smh... that‘s why he still charms the F out of you. Mindfucking you on a high level and he knows it! A real trickster. He is honest on one side by telling you he doesn‘t want a relationship but on the other side he charms your pants off mentally and keeps being touchy kissy?! Smart ass.. sorry for you girl 🌷 you‘ll find someone who wants to be with you, you sure deserve it!

Good luck
Thank you! I really hope that's not what he's doing… He wants me bad but he won't put himself in a position where he would be tempted to sleep with me which is the only reason I doubt this. He really does want me to find someone else. He keeps telling me that.....he's a total mindfuck
I love you, but I want you to be be fucking some other dude 🤦🏻‍♀️ He’s into cuckholding🤷🏻‍♀️
Posted by Moonbutter

I love you, but I want you to be be fucking some other dude 🤦🏻‍♀️ He’s into cuckholding🤷🏻‍♀️
Lmao he said it was bad that we were both feeling jealous a bit so soon and that he knew it would only get worse. That if another guy was flirting with me he'd be upset and he knew I was having the same thing. So it's weird because we see each other often as we go to the same bar
PS you guys are awesome! Thank you for all of your opinions and support. It's been a rough week
The weird possessiveness I had with an ex who was a Taurus was so bad. The way he was with me got worse over time and the way I was with him got bad too. I never felt that way with anyone else either.

I LOVE Taurus people as friends though. I wish I could be friends with more, 😂 but they tend to like me a lot and want to take up all my time! 😂😂 The way I am though, I know it won’t work. So I never got serious with another one as soon as I recognized the same characteristics. As happy as I knew we *could* be or that I knew I could make him, I knew after a while I wouldn’t want to live that way. It was like, can we just be friends?

Taurus are amazing loyal friends. We can talk for hours. But for a partner, I wasn’t able to ever feel fulfilled.

What are his placements?
I always ship female Taurus and Libra males though. 😂😂😂😂

But don’t wait around for him! If he doesn’t want to be with you, then let that boy go!
Posted by TauRisser

Posted by CaptainSpaceLady

Posted by TauRisser

Posted by Endless

does he have some venus issues? some Rx going on lmao

sounds like insecurities at 99% high


Go for it! It’s better to try and know you did everything you could

I called him out on being scared because of how he feels and he confirmed it. Said he has abandonment issues because of his past (not going to share details but I understand). He's definitely insecure. Also said he might just go make out with some random girl just to prove to himself he's over me (which hurt a lot tbh). I playfully threw my purse at him. Told him "you suck" but I can't be angry! He said "don't hate me" and I said "I hate that I can't hate you"


You should ask him what you can do to make him feel better and more comfortable and tell him all the great qualities he has. Lift his spirits
It's worth a try I suppose! It sucks because it's as if he read my mind! It's like he knew exactly how I felt and what I thought...he said things to me that I thought but never said out loud....
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This shit is hilarious. All these stupid bitches telling you fairy tale bullshit.

He's not into you. Period. He's jerking you around because he knows he can and your silly ass will stick around and buy into his bullshit.

He's not into you. If he was, he wouldn't be doing any of this shit. A man who is into you does not "confuse" you.

Also, you? "I'm confused" translates to "I refuse to see logic and am so hung up on this dick that I'm just going to make a million and one excuses as to why I should wait it out. I REFUSE to accept the fact that sometimes shit doesn't work and someone may not be into me."

What the hell is wrong with your self esteem that you think THIS guy is THE one? I had a Libra that I connected with amazingly, but in the long haul, nada. Worked out better for me in the long run and he's still a miserable shit. So you can sit here, be a fairy tale wench about how you want to frill up his bullshit, but at the end of the day, that's all it is- bullshit.

This is classic Libra dude who wants to let you down easily, yet keep you around as an option. He keeps bringing up these bullshit talks because he feels guilty and has to constantly rehash this over and over for HIM, not you. All of this crap is about him and fuck all about you. He does it to reassure himself. He frills up his bullshit to make HIM feel better. If he truly meant what he said, he'd have dropped you and gone no contact. Not strung you along like he has been.

That's all this is- stringing you along and you're falling for it like some sad sap. And of course, in typical fixed sign fashion, you're stuck on stupid and you won't learn until your life, self esteem, and any views on a healthy relationship are destroyed in the process.

And if you so choose to stupidly stick around with loser, you forfeit any right to create the oncoming 2758934578493 threads about your so called "confusion" as your being stuck on stupid is your problem and nobody else's. You're the only one who can fix it sweetheart because all I'm seeing is your wanting validation for your moronic, lust filled thought processes, not actual advice that'll improve things for you.

Drop the douche. No woman deserves this dogshit.
Posted by TauRisser

Posted by Pandora101

Posted by TauRisser

So my Libra just sat down with me tonight and we had yet another serious talk again...and when I say serious I mean the overall message. We still laughed together throughout and he kissed me several times during and after the conversation. Long conversation short: he cares about me, he respects me, he wants me to be happy, he's very attracted to me, he thinks that we could have a happier relationship than most people ever have for many, many years...but he doesn't want to be with me....seriously wtf?!?!
yet another serious talk again? who iniciates those talks?

why let yourself be engaged in those "serious talks"?
He initiates them and out of nowhere too. It's weird too because we get along so well that even though it's a serious topic it's not a serious conversation… Like it is but we still joke around with each other and have a good time with each other and UGG I don't get it
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again, dont get yourself sucked in to these "serious conversations"

when he starts them, just stop it

like: yawn, not again this shyte? can you exist without moaning so much? I am not your psychoterapist smile

Posted by euphony

The weird possessiveness I had with an ex who was a Taurus was so bad. The way he was with me got worse over time and the way I was with him got bad too. I never felt that way with anyone else either.

I LOVE Taurus people as friends though. I wish I could be friends with more, 😂 but they tend to like me a lot and want to take up all my time! 😂😂 The way I am though, I know it won’t work. So I never got serious with another one as soon as I recognized the same characteristics. As happy as I knew we *could* be or that I knew I could make him, I knew after a while I wouldn’t want to live that way. It was like, can we just be friends?

Taurus are amazing loyal friends. We can talk for hours. But for a partner, I wasn’t able to ever feel fulfilled.

What are his placements?
I will figure that out lol I don't have his exact time of birth or even location tho so it may not be very accurate
Posted by Arielle83

I’ve said this before.

It means thanks for the sex, but I’ve lost interest and we aren’t long term compatible.

Or you aren’t moving in the same direction I am.

Nice knowing you, maybe we can be mates in the future.

Don’t vilify me to the entire area code because it didn’t work out
I have not had sex with him for the record. I have some self respect and withheld it and he has been very much a gentleman about it all. We actually had a wonderful couple of visits since this happened and we are at the very least going to be good friends. I'm not too worried about what tomorrow holds for us. Just going to enjoy him when I can.