someone pick up apart please Gem woman Libra man

Hi Everyone,
I was wondering if someone can pick us - my partner and I apart. We are in a LDR for 4 months, we met, he came here to visit me, things were going great with a couple bumps and now lately he is withdrawing. Namely: the emails are not coming, we talk basically 2 times a day, which is great, but lately it's once a day pretty much, he works on computer all the time, so not like he doesn't have access. He still sends me some one line messages saying he misses me, I'm all that to him, etc. I love it. but...the actions always speak more than just words to me...sooo...this Libra man of mine is starting to drive me bonkers with his aloofness; I have been steady on my side, no changes in attention and such. So the question is should I wait it out, or should I become cold as he is and just let this "puppy" go? I could so see myself with this guy for the rest of my life and I think most of the alignments are in agreement - so really what gives? unless...there is someone else? 😢...which, really idk and I hate to go into that trap of insecurities. For v-day I sent him a hand written letter, card and stuff and he told me he didn't even open it until I mentioned it - he said that he will when he gets back to his quarters - well, I have not heard about it since, and I will not mention it, even if I don't know if he opened it or not. Also, we hardly really talk about anything - seems like he is going cheap on the investment into us - I mentioned that we still have so much to learn about each other and in response he sends me a link to some movie forum he goes on and I'm interested and polite about it, but in my mind I think: wth? you send me a link to a forum where you have 10 comments on? Also he is deployed in Iraq and he will be redeployed in a few weeks. For months he was all about us, and he is getting transferred to a base closer to me which would make it a driving distance - and now I don't know why he is just basically pulling the plug on this slooowly or is he just mulling things over? Idk and part of me wants to stay and wait it out and the other part of me wants to walk away and tell him: call me when you know what you really want.
I will appreciate any input on this please.
this is me: Gemini, Asc. Scorpio, Moon Virgo, Mercury Cancer, Venus Cancer, Mars Pisces
this is him: Libra with Asc Virgo, Moon in Capricorn, Mercury Scorpio, Venus in Scorpio, Mars in Virgo

Thank you very much.
I will cross post to Libra forum - this is bugging my p

Posted by LibraLuv
Sometimes LDR's are hard for us, because we want to physically be with that person, it's not impossible to have one but, it takes both parties to want it to work. Ask him what's up? Now, I saw where you said he came to see you, have you gone to visit him?

This was my first thought. I know I couldn't do a long distance relationship. If one started and I got to really liking the person it would drive me nuts not to be able to hold them or be with them. I'm not just talking sex either. Time is the most important thing in my opinion. It's one of the only things we can't change or get back. That togetherness is so important to me once things get going. Snuggle in close and watch a movie or tv, holding hands shopping at the store, being able to go places and spend time together regularly, that hug and kiss each day... I don't get how people make LDRs work.

thank you both, for a quick reply, I really hope I can get some Libra guys to voice their views on this.


he's 42, i'm 37, he's deployed in Iraq, it ends in a couple months. He came to see me for his R&R. I did ask him about this last week, and his response was: "what are you talking about, i'm all about us" he leaves me great voicemails, quick notes that would have another girl happy with. but I feel it in my bones that things are off. and I don't know is it because he is stressed and the deployment is wearing out on him, and he just wants to come home, and turning his mind to other things is his way of dealing with him missing me - because he says that I constantly remind him how much he misses being home and stuff - but I don't even know when, because when we talk I am upbeat and all that, we don't talk about all the mush and sap - that's not us. Also we never do any sexual innuendos - which is ok - it only leaves them frustrated when they are deployed...but idk...that one is too a bit off for me and I don't get. I had other LDR and things were sometimes heated sometimes not. He was always lukewarm in that dept. and always proper almost to the point of prude...when I know he is not like that otherwise and only with me...I could be saying that he is being a gentleman about it, but: "really Libra - you're a dude" so idk what to think even about that.

And for him withdrawing...yeah...when a guy does that...it's never a good sign unless he comes back once he figured things out and comes back with some force and stays stuck on the girl.
I just don't know if I feel it from him, even though he is verbally assuring me that I am all that - I don't even ask him, he just does it. but... ;-/
things are off. and that's that and I can't figure out even though I try to analyse it while taking major steps back to have a clear picture and lump all of this together, because sometimes when you are in it, you just don't see what it's worth and what it's not worth anymore.

😢

Posted by roamingfree
He was always lukewarm in that dept. and always proper almost to the point of prude...when I know he is not like that otherwise and only with me...I could be saying that he is being a gentleman about it, but: "really Libra - you're a dude" so idk what to think even about that.

That's because he cares what you think about him. I am a complete deviant in my own mind but I don't voice stuff like that unless I really comfortable with the person (or I don't care at all what they think). I'm convinced everyone has a freaky side but how much is too much? I'm definitely a gentleman/prude on the outside. With friends I'll joke or make comments/innuendos all day long. When dating... I don't want her thinking I'm a freak 😛

yeah...that's one way to not scare a girl off. I appreciate that in him. But his withdrawing could drive me up the wall if I dwell on it and I don't want to. I feel like taking him by his shoulders and giving him a shake and tell him: Honey, smarten up and girl can only meet you half way so much!
ugh...

nice.
😛

that's one way to say : chill out, nothing you can do about it.

ugh!

I go by gut feel - you just wait it out.. hes not eliminating you from his life.. just withdrew a bit because he's not sure yet he wants to full on commit. By the way, you are beautiful! Chin up, think of him and do your thing. He will come around. But he's thinking of you plenty of the time.

he's been already there for 10 months, he's coming back in a few weeks. when him and I talk - he doesn't get the neurotic, doubt filled, idkwhat nonsense, sad puppy love type talk, he doesn't get nagging, reminders, any complaining and such BEACAUSE I could not stand it myself from someone else, and because he is under constant stress and carrying a relationship with someone who is in a warzone requires tact and selfless thinking at all times...it's a different ball game than even LDR - it's LDR on redbull&vodka, emotions are off, the thing men and women who are deployed - relationships are black and white, there is no gray, there is no room for drama, or nonsense because their minds need to be clear and not worry about relationship, if it goes sour - it's goes out the door ultimatelly...so this is why I don't get him right now.

I am hoping that he is thinking and analyzing - I rather he do that than not - so thank you SPICA - I keep forgetting that he has a useful noggin' under that helmet. 🙂

LibraLuv - well, I want to stick it out at least till he comes back in a few weeks, and decompresses and is back to his normal sweet guy, but I don't know if it's worth it in view of his behavior, not necessarily what he says or types out.

😢

^I dont know how going to war zones feels like, but I think he's focusing on "work" and not other women, phasing you out right about now in preparation for whats to come.

It's worth it to stick it out; I doubt you can move on anyway.. quickly, at least. It saves you plenty headache to clear your mind and go shopping!!! 🙂

Or think about it alot and make yourself craxy (you'll grow from there and snap out of it once you've had enough). Works either way.

But.. just wait it out 🙂

Posted by THEKingofLibra

Speaking of your lovely scales.. what happened to your pics? Those scales swooned lovely in the wind, caressing that silky looking blouse. TITS OR GTFO!

As you can see we're not all gentlemen 😄

ack!!!
I'm a neurotic mess lately I think.

I send him an email last night just saying that he seemed tired and asked if there is something I can do to cheer him up and that along with mentioning that as much as I respect his decision for us to communicate mainly through the phone or skype calls, I will continue to write, since it gives me the time to reflect on things and such. I kept it positive and NOT nagging, just straightforward and cheery and short.

soooo....
this is what he writes to me today:

Hey Babe...we are under a commo blackout right now, have been since mid
afternoon. I am writing you from work, since this is the only way to let you
know that I am thinking about you...also...I don't want you to think
anything was wrong or that I didn't feel like talking...lol! Kiss! Its been
a long day for me, I have been at work all day...blah! I just want you to
know that I was thinking of you and I miss you very much...muuuuah! We
should be good for our, tuck you in to bed talk...ok? I am whooped, so I am
gonna go to my chu, get a little bite to eat, and go to bed.

Always Yours,
J****
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox


He sent this from his official email, since the civ net is blacked out for whatever Army reasons, and than on top of that he's been trying to call me and got through after several tries to get connected - it's not an easy fete from overthere...so he called and just said that he misses me a lot, can't wait till he's stateside and that he had a terribly long day and is hungry (ya know, hungry man = not a good thing lol) and that he called just to say that he missed me and wants me to know that he's always thinking about me.


soooo....I have to chill and relax and well, just chill.


sheeeeshhh...I hate relationships...they suck me dry...I rather be single but I loooove this Libra. 🙂

🙂 thank you....this rollercoaster is exactly why I don't like to date...sheeeshh...the drama 8)
but I

lmao!

No worries on mods... we've posted way wore risque that that on here.

I think he's more suggesting pics be sent of her wearing on of these though (with no censorship bars of course)





I'd have to agree with him too...

you know, if he was different I would send those myself a long time ago, but the way he is - it's like he is putting breaks on me. soooo, I will not volunteer, unless he asks. 😛 even if I know he would be happy about it...I don't think I should be putting myself out just for his amusement.

nah, I just don't want to - he's a such a civil guy about this that I don't want to 'break' his heart 😉. Funny, since I had no issues with this with someone else. go figure.

I think he's second, idk, he's born on 29th. where do I find out?

He's a first decan like me. Sept 24-Oct 4

We were talking about this a few days ago. The info below is from http://www.novareinna.com/constellation/libradecans.html (though it appears to be down for renovations atm)...

First Decan: September 23 - October 2
The First Decan of Libra is also known as the Libra Decante and the "Week of the Perfectionist." This double Libra Decante ruled by Venus (Libra's governing Planet) strives to find a balance between diplomacy and compromise...between extreme factions and opposing parties. The ability to harmonize divergent tendencies and bring people together depends upon a subtle understanding of human nature and those governed by this Decan possess the kindliest of natures, albeit one that is highly oversensitive. There is a strong sense of justice here which causes natives of this Decan to go "all out" for a losing cause. The sympathy invoked by Venus tends to go to the extreme, given the influence of the Moon (secondary Planet ruling this Decan). Artistry, soulful meditation and fondness for the deeper things in life are very evident in this subject, where the power of Venus accentuates artistic and romantic tendencies. These natives must guard against defining themselves in terms of a significant other and strive to "be their own person," which will raise self-esteem and make them no less loveable in the process. Social and family get-togethers receive top-billing from individuals born during this time period. They adore art, music, beauty, celebration and harmony, and seem to look especially wonderful in the color blue. At heart, those ruled by this Decan are essentially true lovers of peace, prone to avoid most confrontations. They possess a soul-deep desire for harmony and companionship. A staunch and generous friend, the inherent social skills and gift for self-expression here will take these natives far in any career. To such Libra individuals, sex and love are one...indivisible. The motto of the First Decan of Libra is "Judgment."

ack...is that good or bad for me? ...
sh!!!!! now I will worry...


(darn I so do not like relationships with people I can't actually touch and see their face live - neither does he actually. well, it's almost done and he's coming home soon so this drama will end)

Posted by roamingfree
ack...is that good or bad for me? ...
sh!!!!! now I will worry...

Haha, well I'm 1st decan too and I think I'm awesome so I'd say it's good for you 😛

lol
🙂
so if he says to me: wild horses, babe, wild horse - I should take it at first value?
and if I tell him: baby, you gotta get over my mother of all walls first and he says: that's ok, I'll just put a lounge chair there and a cooler and wait till you decide to come up - should I take that seriously?

because, I'll tell you, his latest antics make me nervous and annoyed.

I wish I could take a spoon and stir up what's brewing in his mind and analyze it... lol

I don't know what wild horses means... but yeah take things at face value. When he says he's "all about us" and can't wait to get back and see you again, he means exactly that.

I'm curious too... you said it's a long distance relationship, and that he's deployed... Is it only long distance because he is deployed? When he gets back will he be local to you then?

The walls comments... were you telling him you have walls built up that will take some time for him to get past? His response was that he'd pull up a lounge chair and cooler and wait?

- wild horses is a references to an old Rolling Stones song "wild horses"
- and the wall thing - I have a wall around me and don't trust and don't commit - so he basically says: yeah, ok, I'll just wait till you decide to come up and hang out with me on it... but, I think he has me figured out and he knows I rather be with him than without.
- it's long distance because it is a year long deployment (there will be at least 3 more till he retires at anywhere from 6,12,15 to 18 months) & we met online and he came to see me on R&R break (his vacations from there), he comes back from overseas in a couple months and is going to be transferred to a base close to me. We both agreed that we are not doing LDR - we just both don't want that and that's a crappy way to be with someone, unless someone is stationed somewhere or it involves school, or something like that - otherwise there is no reasons for LDRs - I have no idea why people pursue that. So, yes, we both talked about and agreed that it is me moving there and follow up with the whole "picket fence" and he started that convo, not me, I was taken aback and thought to myself: really, sheesh, I'm not ready for this talk but ok lets' talk about it because ultimately this is what I want. So, when he pulls out to see the big picture, than that just makes me frustrated - because I am either one way or the other. I'm not into wishy washy. I rather be alone and fabulous than with someone and mediocre. KWIM?

@feliciaf - thank you. I come from military family and I know what to look out for. He's a career Soldier, so deployments are not news to him. I have to say though, that I really appreciate your input. 🙂

I think this Libra is ok - he's 42, he's been doing this for many, many,many years, he is excellent at detaching himself, and so what he has seen has affected him, but in ways that old career Servicemen are...there is distance to things, and they deal with it and are not afraid to talk it out with their buddies - it's the younger ones who are still so gung ho on perceptions and self presentation that they make mistakes I think.
He has enormous self control. However, you are right that I should always be aware of pitfalls, regardless if I grew up in this or not. Every person is different and everyone has unique reactions. So we shall see.

For now, my anxieties are subdued with some reassurance I found here - it is not easy to asses someone without some general input. I thank you all for any given today or anything anyone may add.

I still am not clear about this Vday card nonsense - I have no idea what to make of it - should I drop it? ask him? but than that's like nagging 😢

Any thoughts on this?

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by roamingfree
ack...is that good or bad for me? ...
sh!!!!! now I will worry...

Haha, well I'm 1st decan too and I think I'm awesome so I'd say it's good for you 😛

click to expand

so why the fiasco with the Vday cards and such?
I dont get it 😢

I don't get this guy on this.

Alright, I'll chime in on this one.

My closest friend is a Libra brother. The thing that I always have to do for him is to physically drag him out of the house. Why? Because being a Gemini I know the importance of seizing the moment. He has a Gemini female in his life now, and she sounds somewhat like you. But, she's in the same location, so it's a small difference. Know this: He's not going to move unless you force his hand. You have to take charge and take the emotions out of it, literally and figuratively. Air sign men hate weakness in women, HATE IT!!! Or, at least I do. Which is why we don't tend to do well with Earth and Water signs. They aren't the strength that they purport to be, let alone what the so-called "astrologers" make them out to be. Soft as pillows those dames and we tend to walk all over them. Thus the female rants about us on the boards. Men of the Air need a woman that will not only take some of his bullshit, but all of his bullshit, while getting in his face and calling him out on it. Not running away of course pretending that the bullshit doesn't exists. That's what a "Woman" does. The rest are trying to turn a man into something that he's not, their version of what somebody told them what a man is, which is a BITCH! It's some BOLLSHIT! Which is why there's a "DXP". If you want this guy, go get him! Cuz, that's what your ass is going to have to do in the end anyway. Do you now what happens when you put some damn wings on some scales? Not a damn thang, cuz scales can't fly. They need someone with wings to carry them babycakes! 😉

~GM

*know 😛

Hey Roamingfree! Do you have a water moon and/or rising?

Posted by GeminiMind
Alright, I'll chime in on this one.

My closest friend is a Libra brother. The thing that I always have to do for him is to physically drag him out of the house. Why? Because being a Gemini I know the importance of seizing the moment. He has a Gemini female in his life now, and she sounds somewhat like you. But, she's in the same location, so it's a small difference. Know this: He's not going to move unless you force his hand. You have to take charge and take the emotions out of it, literally and figuratively. Air sign men hate weakness in women, HATE IT!!! Or, at least I do. Which is why we don't tend to do well with Earth and Water signs. They aren't the strength that they purport to be, let alone what the so-called "astrologers" make them out to be. Soft as pillows those dames and we tend to walk all over them. Thus the female rants about us on the boards. Men of the Air need a woman that will not only take some of his bullshit, but all of his bullshit, while getting in his face and calling him out on it. Not running away of course pretending that the bullshit doesn't exists. That's what a "Woman" does. The rest are trying to turn a man into something that he's not, their version of what somebody told them what a man is, which is a BITCH! It's some BOLLSHIT! Which is why there's a "DXP". If you want this guy, go get him! Cuz, that's what your ass is going to have to do in the end anyway. Do you now what happens when you put some damn wings on some scales? Not a damn thang, cuz scales can't fly. They need someone with wings to carry them babycakes! 😉

~GM

thank you for your input.

yeah...that's what I'm thinking too.
I'm not trying to change him - that's the thing, he's stupefied because I like him just the way he is. His ex was a Pisces who notoriously reads self esteem improvement books. He's attracted to me because of my strengths. We have our differences, but we don't argue for the sake of arguing, we exchange our ideas, sometimes it's heated but we both let each other vent and talk and we both take what the other one is saying into consideration, not just spewing nonsensical, accusation, guilt laying bull on each other. Our arguments are actually pretty detached and not personal. It's about the issue at hand not the person. As for him moving when I make him...yeah, I agree...for some reason that's how our conversation went pretty muc

Posted by GeminiMind
Hey Roamingfree! Do you have a water moon and/or rising?

this is me: Gemini, Asc. Scorpio, Moon Virgo, Mercury Cancer, Venus Cancer, Mars Pisces
this is him: Libra with Asc Virgo, Moon in Capricorn, Mercury Scorpio, Venus in Scorpio, Mars in Virgo

you're cute...how about measurements are proportionate to my curtains not causing all out mortal assault! 😛 😄

ick!

...looks like you are just another judy

Posted by feliciaf

Posted by roamingfree
...looks like you are just another judy

WHO'S jUDY?

click to expand

"judy" is a name for all guys who try to be "cute" with Servicemen's significant others - it's an old WWII or WWI term.

Posted by feliciaf

Posted by roamingfree
you're cute...how about measurements are proportionate to my curtains not causing all out mortal assault! 😛 😄

WHATS UR PROBLEM THOUGHT U WERE IN LOVE WITH TH E liBRA..THE MAN IS FIGHTING FOR OUR COUNTRY...

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not sure what you mean here...you lost me...this comment was meant for the cptn. smarty-pants and his snakes.

Posted by THEKingofLibra

Posted by roamingfree

Posted by feliciaf

Posted by roamingfree
...looks like you are just another judy

WHO'S jUDY?

"judy" is a name for all guys who try to be "cute" with Servicemen's significant others - it's an old WWII or WWI term.

Rofl.. Wrong service and if I did, it would be officer's wifey 😛

click to expand

I think you should man up, enlist and deploy....I'm sure someone with your spunk can be used and I'm sure you will understand what it is to not hate those who are in front, but love the ones who are left behind...

moving on...

Posted by TasteOfChaos

Posted by feliciaf

Posted by THEKingofLibra

Posted by roamingfree
ick!

Shut up you know you like it. You've been in need of some plumbing 😄

SOP BEING A DISRESPECTFUL ASS...

He can't help it, its like asking an elderly lady to stop urinating down her leg...

click to expand

lmao! yeah...that's pretty much right on the spot I think.